still feel it all by Maro

Honestly I can’t believe,
Discretion’s lost its sanity,
The prettier parts of me
Are decaying with awful speed

Memories become a blur,
My brain suppresses trauma and hurt
But I’m not sure if it can tell apart
The good from bad, oh, what is what?

Drifting to the surface,
It’s all that I can see
You won’t think much of it but,
Sometimes it’s all I need

Grooving through my memory,
And you do it so easily,
Oh to have proximity
To the man who traded moves with me,
At a party,
I wonder where he might be.

You best believe,
In a crowd of people,
I will search for the origin of the lore
You can teach me the moves,
Oh, look at you
You best believe my dance is yours.

Grooving through my memory,
And you do it so easily,
Oh to have proximity
To the man who traded moves with me,
At a party,
I wonder where he might be.

grooving through my memory

Withdrawn and withheld,
Consumed by the shell,
Hidden by the pond,
I will find you there.

Seek and you shall find
What’s hiding in my mind,
Greener by the night,
Dark and out of sight.

Creeping up from yesterday,
Sleeping in my arms today,
Listen to that sound
Maybe it’ll come around
This time

As time passes by,
Of cheating, you are shy,
Coming to get you now,
Cold revenge and how

And then you’ll flow, I know,
And then you’ll flow.

Listen to that sound,
Maybe it’ll come around,
This time.

this time

Josephine On The Floor

drunken habits

do you feel suffocation at its peak,
Imaginary hands strangling all your weakness,
There is discomfort in this house
The kind your body wants to get out of

You know
The darkness is blinding
The chaos unfolds
You don’t feel like minding your business,
Cause this is
Far more interesting.
I don’t blame you now.
Now.

There is a place,
Abandoned like space
The silence it hangs,
From the noise that’s displaced 
Apart.
Apart.

Does not make a sound,
You don’t even shout
It’s clawing you down
This fear of missing out.

fomo

Cast iron memory.
Strong as the death of me
Hold still,
I’m moving to total recall
Of strands of hair spread across 
That angelic face of yours
Control me,
I feel like
I’m about to fall
You know what I will say next
It’s predictable af
There’s another thing that 
I want to say 
But I will hold onto that
And save it for the right day, yeah

I’m cold on the Sunday that you’re gone,
The one that you said we were on for movies and popcorn,
Yeah I’m really trying to 
Muster some amount of attitude 
Something that lets me ask you 
What exactly is wrong 
Because she’s hard to imagine 
Hard to figure out,
Hard to control, she’ll blow your brains out
Cover you in a shroud, make no noise and leave.
She is bad for me, to no extent, 
There’s never any space for me to vent,
But unexpectedly,
That love comes naturally
Naturally

Does it bother you to have to have the upper hand
Another set of rules I don’t understand
Why is that necessary?
It all seems so blurry
And I can’t even try to find a way out 
A matter into which you’ll poke your snout, 
Snapchat filters, coming out loud

But I should know how it feels to be ousted
No choice but I am hidden, I am crouching
Your expectations seem to cross the boundaries
But I still can’t help but feel

I’m cold on the Sunday that you’re gone,
The one that you said we were on for movies and popcorn,
Yeah I’m really trying to 
Muster some amount of attitude 
Something that lets me ask you 
What exactly is wrong 
Because she’s hard to imagine 
Hard to figure out,
Hard to control, she’ll blow your brains out
Cover you in a shroud, make no noise and leave.
She is bad for me, to no extent, 
There’s never any space for me to vent,
But unexpectedly,
That love comes naturally
Naturally

popcorn

Are you the one who discovers my mind?
Are you the one, who tells me if I’m right?
Does it hurt when I swallow my nervousness,
Saliva mixes with an emotional risk.

Magnet mind in the midst of a moment.

I might be overthinking
But my confidence is shrinking
Even the words don’t believe me as I speak them,
What am I to say?
You may think that I’m stupid,
But truly I believe that I don’t belong here.
Watch my anxiety get the better of me.

This whole conversation is a horror story in my head,
Am I saying the things, nodding correctly, am I just maybe a little weird?
And I don’t seem to comprehend even my own potential, so
If you could tell me if I’m too quiet or I’m a riot, please?

Am I adequate enough to be in your company?

I might be overthinking
But my confidence is shrinking
Even the words don’t believe me as I speak them,
What am I to say?
You may think that I’m stupid,
But truly I believe that I don’t belong here.
Watch my anxiety get the better of me.

Adequate seems like a perfect word,
But I ain’t living in a perfect world 
I’m just trying to get by 
Parties aren’t really my thing, you know,
I’m too awkward to be social, 
I’d just rather sit at home and blast some Guns n Roses.

I might be overthinking
But my confidence is shrinking
Even the words don’t believe me as I speak them,
What am I to say?
You may think that I’m stupid,
Please don’t think that I’m foolish
I think I don’t belong here.
Watch my anxiety get the better of me.

nervous system

tie your laces
before you go down to play 
look around you carefully,
before you push people away.
and (bon iver) has been playing repeatedly in my head today,
i saw a face, it reminded me of your gaze,
light headed and fazed, 
smoking a cigarette


the nature of this is ambiguous, 
i don’t know what to say when your hands are so distant.
prepare to leave, prepare to stay, 
there’s so much i have to say to you, 
but i’m confused, 
you’re going to leave anyway

and my body is hurting with all the locked up punctuation in it,
full stops attached to this.
and i am unworthy of sounds of Clozee and remixed redos are out of my league,


as are you.

mispronunciation(intro)

He's cute and funny, and smart and lovely,
And he's here
And i'm here too
In this planet that's ending so very soon
And climate will change,
But my love for joji will stay the same
It's mellow it's good, with a hard-hitting kick
It's conflicted just how he likes it
And maybe,
I need someone like joji

Seldom i see this character arc
Desexualised asian men are a start,
This feeling is not new to my heart,
But i think i'll be slow dancing in the dark
I feel like my head's so far away
Into the distant valley of replay
My head is a mess but i guess this is
Worth the attention

Joji
He's cute and funny, and smart and lovely,
And he's here
And i'm here too
In this planet that's ending so very soon
And climate will change,
But my love for joji will stay the same
It's mellow it's good, with a hard-hitting kick
It's conflicted just how he likes it
And maybe,
I need someone like joji

And maybe,
I need someone like joji.

joji

lyrics:

cloaks of invisibility are theoretical
But I’d like to believe that I can go without being noticed in a filled room
on the other side
There might be more light rooms 
all I know is cool shades of maroon and dark blue
it’s losing some its colour
Letting go of its hue 
losing the plot of the scene,
willing suspension of disbelief.

If I could just
Fade away
You know honestly im tired of keeping reality to myself 
And you can go 
Daydream
About people who feel, 
you suddenly don’t feel beyond repair

Just a reduction
To keep the paper cuts in
The accidental folder of "lack of serotonin" 
And
The fader keeps going
But your state of mind's showing
19 years and going
Wrinkled thoughts and pimpled skin

fader(willing suspension of disbelief)

Save me from,
All the wrong that I’ve done.
All the songs,
The creature I’ve become.

Oxygen becomes harder to take in,
Smoke fills its place
Inhalation of the stakes,
I’m losing time.

Lost, never found,
And my smiles are dead and gone,
The bruises and songs,
The words are all written wrong.

If I can’t denigrate,
This perfect living hell
How I get through this day,
I endure myself.
But you’re still here,
In your pastel-coloured humour,
Why would you care?
Maybe I’m too much to bear.

Oxygen becomes harder to take in,
Smoke fills its place
Inhalation of the stakes,
I’m losing time.

how you didn’t say hello.

Squeaky shoes 
Making noise 
But girlie loves the girls and boys
Awkward hands
and awkward hips
How to dance 
And where to kiss
Little did I know back then 
you’d leave me standing alone at ten
I feel cold I’m shivering
A little high 
I’m quivering 

But it feels good 
It feels different 
I think I’ll keep the thought of you 
For this moment 


I remember that day like it was yesterday 
The flowers and the pavement
The ironic place name
And I also know today 
When noticed my name 
And ignored it completely 
So I think I’ll just leave.
And so I’ll let go 
Go with the flow 
But you should know
How it goes,
That I remember 
How you didn’t say hello.

how you didn’t say hello

brb facing the music

https://karshni.bandcamp.com/follow_me

karshni

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