Art by Idleglance (sempai)

LYRICS
I don’t mind the weight of it all
I don’t mind the weight of it
I don’t mind the weight of it all
I don’t mind the weight of it

good thing I look like this
good thing I look like this
cause I don't give no fucks
and I don’t take no shit
my girl see me amok
gave me her final kiss
she knew something was up
but she still want my kids

I roll a blunt to get away just for a starry night
I roll a joint to get away just for a moments time
I smoke the bong to get away from this so boring life
I smoke a dab so I can pass out and just fucking die

I need a Lyft
like Uber quick
or else I’m pissed
I got a mission that I must finish
I got a feelin' that there’s something out there that I missed
but I’m not worried, lines are blurry on the life I live
good thing I look like this
good thing I keep control
good thing I flick my wrist
good thing I rest my soul
good thing I finally got the break I need
I risked it all
I kept my patience
didn’t say shit
now I’m boutta ball

I don’t mind the weight of it all
I don’t mind the weight of it
I don’t mind the weight of it all
I don’t mind the weight of it

Lay down like this baby lemme fuck that face
turn up like this baby lemme fuck that waist
and when I leave you baby
I’ll be gone no trace
and when I leave you baby
I’ll be gone no place

good thing I look like this
good thing I look like this
cause I don't give no fucks
and I don’t take no shit
my girl see me amok
gave me her final kiss
she knew something was up
but she still want my kids

I roll a blunt to get away just for a starry night
I roll a joint to get away just for a moments time
I smoke the bong to get away from this so boring life
I smoke a dab so I can pass out and just fucking die

Ego Death (prod. puhf)

Wh1te W0lf x s0cliché - Jouhatsu (prod. justletmedie)

Thank You For Everything

I'm breaking apart as we go
I've never seen down this road
As the cracks are seeping in
Please, help me within
Maybe it's all  over my head
Feeling like this is the darkest of dread
That I cannot escape
Trade my life if I could save you

What have I done, who have I become
Staring right back at the edge of the gun
What if I stay, look the other way
Saving myself at the end of my days
But know, this ain't the end
Fill my heart with love and suspense
Where were you when I tried

cast your stones, they dont hurt
i’m here at the stake where i like to burn

and it seems like a problem
im drinking this solvent
to fight off my demons
though i want to call it
too much of an addict
a sick alcoholic
i live in disease
Because there’s no cure

wounded wasted
hating this basement
the change in your faces
dont tell me i’m pure
i fought angels
through pleasures and mangers
i wanted the dangers
and i was so sure

What have I done, who have I become
Staring right back at the edge of the gun
What if I stay, look the other way
Saving myself at the end of my days
But know, this ain't the end
Fill my heart with love and suspense
Where were you when I tried

Beautiful Disguise ft. s0cliché

Rivilin:

I know anxiety lives in me 
if I stay here will I lose my mind I think I've already passed that time
plagued by derealization feel like im looking through a fucking glass
feel like this ain't my body im just in a dream will death wake me up

these drugs no they don't mean shit when this body doesn't feel even real
can’t keep up a fucking job it feels like im just blessed with bad luck
try to explain it to someone but they don't understand
like why can't I be normal for a second so I can feel human

my body on this cold concrete no furniture fucking around
convinced these shadows on the walls are out for me till im in the ground
take a step back id like to realize that im ok it's just my perspective
It cus feels like im living in my skull like nothing is real and this is all a dream

till I take my life and I wake up, maybe then ill be happy in this place
my psychologist doesn't get it, no amount of therapy can change what I feel
I tell my mother that im ok, that im just going through a rough patch
this is my reality, ill fake a smile and say that im fine

floating above this city,
if I let go will I suddenly fall then can I wake up
to me, this place isn't pretty
I feel disgusted when I see myself suicide’s not enough

there's a constant battle in me
gravity has given in hear the wind roaring as I collide
with the concrete end it quickly 
my eyes snap open breathe heavy, every time I die I wake up

Coaastgxd:


Every time I die I wake up
Every time I die I…

This time I'm just fine running away
And I'd sell my soul just to better the days
I never get a hold of this, I throw it away
I never know what to say, I make the same old mistakes

I been playing in traffic with my emotions and 
I'm closer to a rope than I been in a fucking minute, oh
Every time I think I'm getting better, I end up fucking sendin'
Now I'm back to the motherfucking beginning tho

Can't sleep and I can't wake up
"Life's tough, get a helmet and, shit, man up"
I been stuck and I'm spinning my tires up in the mud
Going nowhere fast, The ash floating over the sun

Rivilin:

my body on this cold concrete no furniture fucking around
convinced these shadows on the walls are out for me till im in the ground
take a step back id like to realize that im ok it's just my perspective
It cus feels like im living in my skull like nothing is real and this is all a dream

till I take my life and I wake up, maybe then ill be happy in this place
my psychologist doesn't get it, no amount of therapy can change what I feel
I tell my mother that im ok, that im just going through a rough patch
this is my reality, ill fake a smile and say that im fine

floating above this city,
if I let go will I suddenly fall then can I wake up
to me, this place isn't pretty
I feel disgusted when I see myself suicide’s not enough

there's a constant battle in me
gravity has given in hear the wind roaring as I collide
with the concrete end it quickly 
my eyes snap open breathe heavy, every time I die I wake up

Scarlett FT. Coaastgxd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sugszeey/
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/3jsxOJ7aipBF4ijXEBZDNb?si=5pfH6h7rST6YPmInZRoDYg
Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/user-904345686

Prod. Odyssey
Mix: Cohst

Better Lost

You and I feat (kanashi) prod. Blossom

LYRICS:

Didn't wanna get it, didn't wanna face it, yeah, a family’s torn apart
Two kids in the middle I was only 13  when I knew that I was stuck
Swear I was hearing voices coming from the walls, my father freaked out and just stopped
Forced to talk to a psychiatrist who medicated me till I was cut

Tried to understand but I couldn't, Zyprexa just made me fall asleep
What did you expect from a kid who didn't have a stomach just to eat
So I made friends with the stars, they said that I wouldn't get far
But I found comfort in always being alone and trapped in my own

So don't tell me that you’re sorry for what you did
Because you're not, yeah you're not yeah I know that you are not
Cus I don't care, what's done is done I can't forget
Because I'm stuck yeah im stuck in a place with my own thoughts

Am I not real, I realized that I don't fit in
You can't accept, can't accept me for who I wanna be
Im overwhelmed, I'm not comfortable in my skin
This isn't me, isn't me, when will my mind find some sleep

A few years later nothing changes just a kid stuck in a rut
Putting on a facade for family just so they won't bother me a lot
Been twelve years since I was diagnosed with depression thought there was a cure
But the SSRIs numbed me out until I felt like I was worse

I want to explain it but I've realized no one cares for who you care
No one is special, no one is gifted, mental trauma that makes a star 
When there's nothing left I'll probably kill myself to let go of this pain
Cus I'm always tormented by myself when I forget my own name.

So don't tell me that you’re sorry for what you did
Because you're not, yeah you're not yeah I know that you are not
Cus I don't care, what's done is done I can't forget
Because I'm stuck yeah im stuck in a place with my own thoughts

Am I not real, I realized that I don't fit in
You can't accept, can't accept me for who I wanna be
Im overwhelmed, I'm not comfortable in my skin
This isn't me, isn't me, when will my mind find some sleep

Stuck

LYRICS:

You know I can't be someone that you depend on
Cus you know when you hit me up I will not answer
The consequences of separation are never easy
And when you’re all alone you hit me up, say that you need me

But I'm sick of that, I don't wanna be used to the grave
Panic attacks hit the stage open up I'm in a state
Dont wanna talk about feelings why can't I be left alone
I'm not coping, I’m not good, I didn't think that it would show

Yeah cus, I didn't want to be someone that you depend on
I didn't want to be the one that didn't answer
You said "Hold your tongue cus I don't want to hear you ever speak,
You just stay inside, haven't had a reply in a week."

"I hope you suffer in the bed that you have made for yourself
Are you happy all alone, in this hell are you content?"
"Yeah I don't care about you, I guess this is goodbye,
Cus I still don't understand the reasons why you wanna die."

Cus I hate you, when you break me, you choose
It was always us two back then I was confused
It's always when I see you falter I slip up to
I see that you are amused by the fact I need you

You know I couldn't help you when you just suffered
You know I couldn't be something that you wanted
Always getting up at me like I made a mistake
Push us back and then we break, constant fighting, say we’re fake

You wanna reprimand me for times when I didn't understand
Don't want to explain it to me so you give me the backhand
You say that I'm selfish for trying to be someone that just cares
But you run away, ignore me then just give me a blank stare

So what the fuck is up with it, I get it yeah you hate
Everyone who doesn't understand the pain that you create
You say you wanna tear them down in hopes that they never exist
I guess we all just have opinions and to you they don't mean shit

I see, "You suffer in the bed that you made for yourself
Are you happy, all alone in this hell are you content?"
"Yeah you know I care about you, I guess this is goodbye
And I still don't understand the reasons why you wanna die."

Cus I hate you, when you break me, you choose
It was always us two back then I was confused
It's always when I see you falter I slip up to
I see that you are amused by the fact I need you

Cautious

Lyrics:

I don't have to remember cause it's still my everyday
Living with the same problems that I thought would fade away
Self destruction on my mind
Self esteem is hard to find
Self reflection seems to be my only way of getting by
I ain't even chasing highs, keep my expectations low
As my mind, trying to fight the feelings as they come and go
See the signs of decline but I never let them show
Cause now it's all that I know
It's all that I know 


Tell me what my future holds
If this is becoming all that I know
Help me not to lose my hope
Cause this is becoming all that I know 


Seems to be my affliction has become my addiction 
Been a while since I gave in but my time is still wasted
Contemplating if it really ever solved anything
Or if I was just distracted by the pain that it brings
Ain't ashamed to admit that it remains how I think
But even if I had the choice I wouldn't change anything
I'm still the same as I was, only difference is
I'm in control
Cause now it's all that I know
It's all that I know


Tell me what my future holds
If this is becoming all that I know
Help me not to lose my hope
Cause this is becoming all that I know

2024 eighteenSAINT / Clouded North

All That I Know (Alt Version)

All That I Know

EXIT LIFE

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[LYRICS]

This took a lot for me to talk about
How I broke my promise without a doubt
When I think back to the good times
I remember it was full of lies
I wanted to save you from the bad guy
But it was you I was tryna fight

I'll be your hero if you'll be my heroin
End of my story cuz I couldn't love again
Last chance show me what you got
Tell me that you love me cuz I swear to fucking God
Plot point right through the heart, I thought I couldn't break
Turns out you're the villain

Turns out you're the villain
Turns out you're the villain

Lost my self in the come up
Drank too much imma throw it up
Moonlight sees what I cannot
My heart bleeds let me count it up
You took your knife and you stood in the shadows
waiting for the right time
You took my life and you threw it in the gallows
slaying in the night time

I can believe I trusted you
You fucked me up, but I did too
And Imma get the last word in

I'll be your hero if you'll be my heroin
End of my story cuz I couldn't love again
Last chance show me what you got
Tell me that you love me cuz I swear to fucking God
Plot point right through the heart, I thought I couldn't break
Turns out you're the villain

Turns out you're the villain
Turns out you're the villain

Lyrics/Producer: Joshua Adam Henson
Mixed/Mastered: Brody McKeegan

EXIT LIFE

KASPER FELL