Paradise

disco r (5/19/24)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9OAGajTnQ2Q

its GRAY AND WENDA

omg i forgot to post this to soundcloud lol 
i made this track on the day of me and @learkeoffic 's wedding ceremony :3 these are literally my wedding vows so it's very personal and raw for what it is so yea aaaaaaaa

lyrics:

dear Jaydalyn,

from the day that we met, your expression inspired me
Music and art formed the love that we now see
You made me fearless, i no longer fear ties
I'm eternally grateful for you by my side

In the foresty garden, no matter the weather
Through thick and thin our souls dance together
Deserving of love, my expressive Jay
Youre a beautiful girl, nothing takes that away

Every layer of you deserves to be heard
I'll listen to you and thread you through my world
our future's an art form that's now soon to be
let's keep on creating, as long as we need

I'll always remember the lights in the sky
I'll care for you so it can glow through your eyes
I shared you my name, drew you into my life
I'm so proud and happy to call you my wife

i love you, june nafia, my soulmate <3

my wedding vows (bandlab draft)

this is a remake of a song that i made in 2021, i remade it in 2025 as a reflection of who i was when i originally wrote it. i added more lyrics and breakdown sections

og from 2021: soundcloud.com/kittydoggo/so-numb-that-shes-in-hell
credit to jreg for the intro + outro samples! www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1ok44MXhrw

lyrics:
[jreg sample]
(hey doc. ive been wondering
is it me that's sick?
is my only hope to scrape off the edges of myself
that dont fit neatly into reality?
or should i carve a hole in the world
that only i can fit in?

and who is it that has the authority to tell me that im sick?
is it you?
or is the corporations that make the pill-pill-pill-pills-)

[kittydoggo]
i feel so damn proud when im off the addy
when i didnt take them i see others and feel saddy (BOOOO)
cause when i do drugs man i feel so happy (YAYYYYY)
rack the dopamine up i need it all for me

i need happiness i dont need drugs, drugs
dope me up until my body's numb, numb
how come every day i feel so dumb, dumb?
i need that dopamine in my system, um

popping pills so i dont fail school
life's a trip and i was the stool
bump my toe on sadness pick myself up its the cycle

popping pills so i dont feel shit
call me blunt when i dont hear it
hand me the pistol
im feeling a little violent!!

never expressed my own anger well now i can
its bubbling all out now like on a frying pan
and nobody in the system could give a damn
so im fucking up my system emptying cans

im saying fuck you to the system that never helped
its "break yourself just to function" and nothing else
i know they wanted to fix her, now look oh well
shes sleeping in a closet
so numb that she's in hell

never expressed my own anger well now i can
its bubbling all out now like on a frying pan
and nobody in the system could give a damn
so im fucking up my system emptying cans

im saying fuck you to the system that never helped
its "break yourself just to function" and nothing else
i know they wanted to fix her, now look oh well
shes sleeping in a closet
so numb that she's in hell

i broke myself just to function
i did what all of them wanted
oh
just a shell void of emotion
working herself to exhaustion, no

i need happiness i don't need drugs
but where'd my happiness go?
you deceived me, left me bleeding
but i won't let you steal my soul!!

YAYYYYY-A-A-A-A-Y
x4

4 year overstimulation
my degree's in ceasing function
sharpest teeth are barely working
it's all pills and carbonation
had no graduation day
no paper shows my work
was so numb in hell for nothing
i should kill you first!!!!!!!!!

[jreg sample]
instead of doing the inhuman amount of work it takes to finish my degree,
i instead find myself doing useless things!
for some reason i just can't bring myself to focus!

SO NUMB THAT SHES IN HELL (2025 remake)

LUV3 SICK!! (feat. Kittydog)

I LOVE MY WIFE @kittydoggo
Lyrics:
[Learke]
I'd give it all up for you in an instant if you felt the 
need to settle down. Plant the forresty trees inside 
our garden, nothing will ever burn it down.
Feel the breeze, let it fall all round. Love your voice 
and all your sounds

Pick it up, build a foundation, oh
Nurture our love for the rest of time

Lovestruck and undone
There's nothing that can make me want to change it all
Wanna spend my time with you
Feel your heartbeat, my soul cries
The petals all around us slowly start to bloom
Keep you and Me, love you, stay true

[kittydog]
i'll lay under the trees right by ur side
to stay true to my heart for a lifetime,
look to you with stars on a sunrise
i know we can take this to the sky 
so lets build up, a little home
that we can adore and never feel alone
just seeing you smile warms up my soul
so hold me and don't let go

so breathe in, the love in the air all day
then breathe out, so it'll all be okay

[Learke & kittydog]
Lovestruck and undone
There's nothing that can make me want to change it all
Wanna spend my time with you
Feel your heartbeat, my soul cries
The petals all around us slowly start to bloom
Keep you and Me, love you, stay true
Lost track in your eyes
There's everything that i could hope for by your side
Wanna be right there for you. I'll love you for all time
As seasons change and flowers reach the moon just me and you
our love stays true

[Learke]
There’s a look in your eyes that I can’t escape, the way you
tell me everything’s okay. I know I’m gonna be here every
day. I really wanna see you every day.
So I’ll do everything I can to keep you by my side.
Build a future and a home we can reside.

[kittydog]
free flowing, life glowing, stay true to 
every moment, pure love is upholding a bright future
where we're going so taken by surprise
i can see the whole universe where we reside
found the universal truth by gazing in ur mind
see the beauty in creation yea our love's divine!!

[Learke]
Lovestruck and undone
There's nothing that can make me want to change it all
Wanna spend my time with you
Feel your heartbeat, my soul cries
The petals all around us slowly start to bloom
Keep you and Me, love you, stay true

Stay True (ft. kittydog)

https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/kittydog/win-win-win
kind of a sequel to lose lose lose
probably gonna be a single to an ep/album lol

lyrics:
i feel like a _ fan
takin cards from ur hand
couldn't tell all my friends
but some of them would understand

when i look at my face
different person than yesterday
couldn't help but relay
cant say the same if i stay the same

so i cry, flowing tears of us
[data authenticating]
then i sweat, as i begin to trust
[recovery initiating]
then i shake, wipe off emotional dust
[are you sure you'd like to clear trash bin?}
can i breathe one more time for love
[robot deactivated]

does the world even have enough time for me??
when i d** does the person i was release
tell ur friends that u were neverending
and then when u end it u can stop pretending

messed up the mixed sense of baggage
tore it all down to wreak some more havoc
it's so damn good i can almost taste it
feel the fur like grass flowing in the wind

wind, wind, wind, wind
win, win, win, win
i'm killing it, killing it

i feel crazy!! catastrophized anomaly!!
infected beauty!! take normalcy away from me!!
i'm fucking winning, i taste it in the air u breathe
stop talking to me, i'm embarrassed of this part of me!!

i need it put it on repeat so i never forget it
give me directions ill be sure to be them every second
it's irresistible, the feeling of a met condition
take off a layer theres another im fucking bionic

my face, different person than yesterday
win, win, win
you won't believe it if i say it to your face though!
fuck the w*rld
i'll make you scream
i want 2 make ur insides bleed
but a knife in your chest will never
return what you took from me !!!

so i cry, flowing tears of us
then i sweat, as i begin to trust
then i shake, wipe off emotional dust
can i breathe one more time for love

return what you took from me
you better return what you took from me

im gonna
win win win my fucking mind
lose lose losing every time
i take a breath and feel confined
ive got to take back whats mine

Paradise

♡-_Katty_-♡