FUUUUUUUUTAAAAAAAAAAAANAAAAAAAAAAARIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII >:D

This is the funniest song I’ve ever heard.

BUT HOW FAR AHEAD DID YOU PLAN ALL OF THE SCREWIN?!

Here it is! The Blizzcon Song Contest Winner (1st PLACE) 2011!!! 
Unfortunately, due to Blizzard's rules, the entire song is under two minutes long. However, this song more than makes up for the lack of space! 

PvP follows my adventures through both life in the world of Azeroth and my own life as well. Whether it's a beautiful Night Elf Rogue, trapped in a tower in Tol Barad or whether it's a girl, out of my reach, this song is about love AND my love for World of Warcraft. I always said I'd make a song chronicling my rise from 1-85 and this is as good as it's going to get! 

Please enjoy the 1st place winning entry from Blizzard's Song Contest 2011!

Lyrics:
This is my war song all for you 
I just do not know what to do 
I keep on coming back it's true 
At 10 I knew my place was here 
So leave your doubts and have no fear 
The righteous path is clear 

Pay me no heed I'm about to cause a shakeup 
Why won't you just wake up 
Why can't you just take up 
Arms to defend yourself against me? 
Dashing young rogues can't be helped when consecrated 
I still stand elated 
Even when berated 
Wish you could just see what I see 
The gates have opened once again 
A winter valley, summer sand 
And all my friends, they tell me 

Yeah, you got class 
Yeah, you got style 
How will you make it at 85? 
This world's a battleground 
You're lucky, even now, to be alive 
From the ruins to the flag 
I'll take it back I'll strike you down 
I'll strike you down 

Under-geared everywhere I look around me 
Gnomes can still astound me 
Trying to confound me 
We don't have this problem, but you do 
Excuse me miss, but I'd like to cash my honor 
Thought I was a goner 
Should have done a runner 
But I still stood and fought for you 

From the ruins to the flag 
I'll take it back I'll strike you down 
I'll strike you down 

Tol Barad 
It ain't so bad 
Surrounded by my friends 
Brave the weather 
Fight the storm 
Stay together 
Live once more 
Overpowered, my desire 
Is to meet you in that spire 
I'm on fire, can't cool down, oh can't you see? 
It means too much to me 
My life is PVP

Sometimes, life needs a defined goal so you can rise to a challenge. When I was younger, there was one man who provided that challenge neatly and succinctly. Now that I'm older, there are still people like that man who surround me and give me a challenge of my own. The main difference is that they're not 10 years old. Well, they also don't have 8 gym badges. They're probably just as annoying though! 
Art by: Kylie DiOrio (shavostars.tumblr.com)

Lyrics:
I walk a path down victory road 
See, it's my chance and I know just where it goes 
I'm feeling ghastly but I know that I'll pull through 
You're so vile, in denial, and I know just what to do 

Abra, Kadabra, Alakazam 
I'mma change the way you feel about who I am 
'Cause I'm tangled up and I'm just so stuck 
Yeah you run amuck all because you can 

And I'm sick and tired of the way you treat me 
You fill me up with fear 
You write your name upon the wall to let me know that you were here 

Everyone needs a rival 
Someone who can spur you on 
And make you feel invincible 
The thrill is irresistible 
I will defeat you 
Yeah, I know I'm gonna beat you 
I've waited too damn long for my time to shine 
I'm gonna take the world by storm 
Yeah, I'm elite and you're forlorn 

I feel just like a persian rug 
I'm trod upon and you stand there feeling smug 
And you can growl, but your bark's worse than your bite 
Reduced to ash, give me your cash because I'm spoiling for a fight 

I need a palate cleanser 
While I walk these streets of gold 
Fire beneath me feeling hot 
I know you're not 'cause you're so cold 
All I see is red 
So get ready for the end 
Give me your best shot, give all you got 'cause you know 
You can't push reset and start again 

Everyone needs a rival 
Someone who can spur you on 
And make you feel invincible 
The thrill is irresistible 
I will defeat you 
Yeah, I know I'm gonna beat you 
I've waited too damn long for my time to shine 
I'm gonna take you down 
I'm gonna take what's mine 

Everyone needs a rival 
Someone who can spur you on 
And make you feel invincible 
The thrill is irresistible 
I will defeat you 
Yeah, I know I'm gonna beat you 
I've waited too damn long for my time to shine 
I'm gonna take the world by storm 
Yeah, I'm elite and you're forlorn

Rival

Hey man, I just like burgers a lot. Gotta get my burgz. Knowing PetitPanda, it's a wonder why this song isn't about Tacos instead...
Album artwork by: alphena.tumblr.com 

Lyrics:
Well it was just 
5 guys on a night out 
(Oh) 
Looks like they could box your lights out 
Insatiable hunger 
Looking for the one they could take home right now 

They're all getting salty 
Wanna be sonic but they're not fast enough 
Wanna be that Mac Daddy 
But this game of thrones is just too tough 

And you can't be the king if you taste like shit 
The other 4 guys don't mind a bit 
And these Randy Bo Bandy's are so demanding 
Knock that pat flat but I'm still standing 

Wendy's just another silly girl I knew but those days are all long gone 
If you were right the first time then how could you be wrong? 

Oh, you're 23 years old now 
Stick with what you know 
The burger joint just down the road seems like the place to go 
Oh, it's comfortable and inviting and it won't tell you lies 
I want that Bacon Cheeseburger with those damn good fries 

Well I was just 
Feeling kinda greasy 
Backstreets feels kinda sleazy 
Prices hiked as high as your tights 
And I can't help just feeling queasy 

Thank god it's friday 
Said nobody ever as we all flew out the door 
Acting up like a dairy queen and a size queen's always wanting more 

KFC more like JFC 
I wanna try something new to me 
In with excitement, out with scoff 
This disappointment can fudd ruck off 

Annie might be fun, but I'll never shack 
If I die before then of a heart attack 
If there's never a first time 
Then how can I come back? 

Oh, you're 23 years old now 
Stick with what you know 
The burger joint just down the road seems like the place to go 
Oh, it's comfortable and inviting and it won't tell you lies 
I want that Bacon Cheeseburger with those damn good fries 

Have your burger however you like 
No I don't mind, no I don't mind 
I'm just looking for the right one for me 
Don't care how it long it takes to find 
However you like 
No I don't mind, no I don't mind 
I know she's the right one for me 
Takes the stress away from the daily grind 

However you like 
No I don't mind, no I don't mind 
I'm just looking for the right one for me 
Don't care how it long it takes to find 
However you like 
No I don't mind, no I don't mind 
I know she's the right one for me 
Takes the stress away from the daily grind 
(x3 to finish)

Burgz

Slow, relaxing and melancholic. A song for a tired soul, wrought with wear and tear. 
Art by: http://manga.clone-army.org

Lyrics:
They will tear her down 
Piece by piece, seam by seam 
They will murder everything 
And all she has left is her angelic dream 

Lost to the rags 
Stitch after stitch, she never gives up 
Blood on her shirt again 
But she does it all for love 

Petty like a petticoat 
A whore for the words she wrote 
That they never heard her speak 
In a dress bespoke 

(Ooooo) 
Sail away for that seifuku 
And darling do feel comfortable just being you 
Wear a smile, wear a frown 
Wear it up when it wears you down, darling
Wear whatever you like 

They will tear her down 
Prick after prick, yeah they're all the same 
She's scars to tell the story of her words 
That she hides 'cause she's ashamed 

Lost to the rags 
Tears in her eyes and mud on her shoes 
She wants to scream that she loves her 
But they just make her sing the blues 

It wasn't 'bout the jeans she wore 
'cause she's got the price tag in that store 
It's not enough, it's not enough 
It should be more 

(Ooooo) 
Sail away for that seifuku 
And darling do feel comfortable just being you 
Wear a smile, wear a frown 
Wear it up when it wears you down, darling
Wear whatever you like 

She's stronger than the Martins 
Lacing up her boots 
They feel heavy as the burden that she bears 
Who cares what she wears 
Try as you might 
It's you she doesn't like 

Sail away for that seifuku 
And darling do feel comfortable just being you 
Wear a smile, wear a crown 
I'll be there if you're feeling down 
Darling, wear whatever you like 

(Ooooo) 
Sail away for that seifuku 
Wear a smile, wear a frown 
Wear it up if it wears you down, darling 
Wear whatever you like

Wear

Whether intergalactic or planetary, distance makes the heart grow fonder. 
Art (and wonderful character on the right) by: http://www.hensa.tumblr.com

Lyrics:
(Heartbeat so hard) 
A feeling that I felt so many times before 
(Heartbeat so hard) 
No matter how much I do this 
I never get bored 
I said I needed space 
I wanted so much more 
This is my galaxy 
Gonna explore 
(Heartbeat so hard) 
It's just another universe and I won't be ignored 

You say you're a dancer? 
Dance 
Take no for an answer? 
No way 
I'm just persistent, baby 
What can I say? 
Don't wanna be a black hole 
Of negative emotions, it's true 
I wanna be Laika 
Wanna be good to you 

Universe 
Calling out 
Every whisper, every shout 
Cheap shots on me 
So drink up, honey, this one's for free 

On the rocks 
Hit me up with another brandy 
Don't stop 
Give me space, I'm feeling dandy 
Do we deserve this? 
Is it our purpose? 
It's just fan-service 
This beauty on the surface 
Yeah, I like what I like 
That target demographic 
So much traffic, getting graphic 
All your thoughts are so jurassic 
So look a little bit deeper 
On these values on which I strive 
I'll be your sleeper hit, let me take this thing into overdrive 
Let me take this thing into overdrive 

(Heartbeat so hard) x3 
I'm reeling from the burn that I felt within 
(Heartbeat so hard) 
I down another scotch just to drown my sin 
I dream of electric sheep and all my responses stay the same 
They're just zeroes and ones, I can't have fun 
And I'm the only one to blame 
(Heartbeat so hard) 
A zero at the bar, just feeling strange 

You say you're the answer? 
Talk 
I wanna be sane one more time 
Ain't no damn crime 
Whisper those lies to myself no more 
It's true 
I wanna be with you 

Universe 
Calling out 
Every whisper, every shout 
Cheap shots on me 
So drink up, honey, this one's for free 

(On the rocks) 
(Never stop) 
(One more shot) 
(To the top) 

On the rocks 
Hit me up with another brandy 
Don't stop 
Give me space, I'm feeling dandy 
Do we deserve this? 
Is it our purpose? 
It's just fan-service 
This beauty on the surface 
Yeah, I like what I like 
That target demographic 
So much traffic, getting graphic 
All your thoughts are so jurassic 
So look a little bit deeper 
On these values on which I strive 
I'll be your sleeper hit, let me take this thing into overdrive 
Let me take this thing into overdrive 

On The Rocks

On The Rocks

-= Wingin' It: Love Can Be Such A Dragon =-
A yuri shoujo high-school dragon dating sim about a second chance at being noticed.
Release date TBA but look for updates on:
https://kissdragonkiss.itch.io/wingin-it 
http://twitter.com/kissdragonkiss 
http://lovecanbesuchadragon.tumblr.com/ 
Artwork by: http://grind3h.com/

Lyrics:
Pierce the armor, break the scale 
Summer sun turns into hail 
The fire in your heart burns out again 

So sprout your wings and fly away 
For another sunny day 
I've got a million of them waiting for you 

This time I'mma do it right 
Open up my jaw, let the words take flight 
I'm turning green, it's a ghastly sight 
Oh why can't I just be ignored? 

Hold my hand 
You're dragging me along this quicksand 
Salt water and castles falling down 
As the glass fills up with the grain 
Don't be ashamed 
You only get one damn chance with this game 
So call my name and I'll be there 
Ready to stoke that fire again 

Writing hearts in the steamy panes 
I can't pretend that I cared about those names 
It's a god damned shame that I flew too close to the sun 
Writing every dumb cliche 
Sporty, haughty, naughty; it's okay 
Cause moving forward's still moving on 

This time I'mma do it all wrong 
Cause I've been waiting for this for far too long 
And I don't care if you like my song 
I'mma sing it anyway 

Hold my hand 
You're dragging me along this quicksand 
Salt water and castles falling down 
As the glass fills up with the grain 
Don't be ashamed 
You only get one damn chance with this game 
So call my name and I'll be there 
Ready to stoke that fire again

Hold My Hand

We're all drowning. Feel melancholic yet? 
Just a song about unrequited feelings.
Art by Jarv: http://www.pixiv.net/member.php?id=5649323

Lyrics:
Fingers trace your skin 
All your cliffs and peaks 
And your hair it flows like waterfalls 
Wanna give some color back to your cheeks 

Fingers intertwine 
As you tell me you can’t take it any more 
Let our hearts and souls combine 
While hell is knocking at our door 

Mermaid, sing to me 
He don’t love you like I do 
He won’t take your pain away 
You know it’s true 
I wanna see you smile, wanna see you cry 
Oh, you’re such a fool 
We should get some bruises falling in love 
'Cause I love it when you’re blue 

Yeah, it’s making me mad 
Knowing I can treat you better than he could 
And your tears they flow like waterfalls 
And I don’t think they should 

Yeah, it’s okay to smile 
Even if inside it’s tearing you apart 
No he’ll never love you in the way that I do 
Why’d you go and give someone like that your heart?

Mermaid, sing to me 
He don’t love you like I do 
He won’t take your pain away 
You know it’s true 
I wanna see you smile, wanna see you cry 
Oh, you’re such a fool 
We should get some bruises falling in love 
'Cause I love it when you’re blue 

(Underneath our skin our blood runs blue) 
Our blood runs blue 
(No he’ll never love you like I do) 
I still love you 
And what am I to say? 
What was I supposed to say? 
What am I to say? 
Just tell me what to say 
What am I supposed to say? 

What am I to say? 
We threw it all away 
And we’re still blue

Blue

Have you ever wanted a doujinshi in song form? 
No? 
Too bad. 

Art by: RiceGnat http://www.ricegnat.moe 
Aranei VA: MegaMoeka http://www.megamoeka.com 
Kaleina VA: エミたん emitan http://www.pixiv.net/member.php?id=5566184 
A massive thank you to all at the Medical Whiskey group, for the inspiration to write this song! http://www.medicalwhiskey.com 
Also a massive thank you to Lappuru/Henkuma/変熊 who makes every day just that little bit brighter http://www.pixiv.net/member.php?id=397729

Lyrics:
She was the image of my fantasies 
Long hair, purple eyes 
And two big pointy ears 

The Dwarven ale's on me 
And maybe you as well, girl, hopefully 
Now I didn't expect what I heard next 
Made my head spin so fast it'd break necks 
She said; 
Hey, bitch, what's up? 
You're the kind of girl that could give me the good long SUCC 
And I don't need first name basis 
Maybe we could pass it to each other 'round the third or fourth bases 
Well, what the hell? 
She got my mind fucked like Galadriel 
And I can see that we're thirsty 
Call it intuition but it ain't just our glasses that's dirty 

And I was bridal carried upstairs 
And I was thinking 'bout asking her for three hairs 
So here's a little secret to this 
Elves are quick to recognize lewdness 

WE'RE SHAMELESS 
Oooh, I love it all 
You might think I'm kinda crass 
But baby, you can kiss my ass! 
WE'RE SHAMELESS 
Stacy's mom can join in too 
That's right 
I delight in being lewd 

/// Okay, settle down, I don't even know your name 
It's Aranei 
Okay, that's a lovely name but--- 
And my name's Kaleina! 
That's also a lovely name 
Wait, when did you get here?! /// 

Aranei and Kaleina 
You don't have to explain 
I know exactly what you're doing 
But how far ahead did you plan all of the screwing? 
Pffft, cut that pussy shit 
Get up on that pussy, bitch 
Call me mistress like you know that you're working it 
YES MISS 
Put the collar on and pose 
One bitch boy and two elf hoes 
Well, what the hell? 
We got this far so we might as well 
And things were getting kinda kinky 
Essentially the content of a Henkuma doujinshi 

Imagine the scene; 
Three bodies all together, me in between 
Pressing up against my body 
HOLD UP 
/// That's a little bigger than I was expecting 
Which one of us are you using that on?! /// 

WE'RE SHAMELESS 
Oooh, I love it all 
You might think I'm kinda crass 
But baby, you can kiss my ass! 
WE'RE SHAMELESS 
Stacy's mom can join in too 
You gotta love those MILFs, man 
I delight in being lewd 

If you're into it, just be into it 

We don't kinkshame, no 
We don't kinkshame, no 
We don't kinkshame, no 
If you're into it, just be into it 
(x4) 

No, I won't say I'm sorry 
For liking lewd elf girls and futanari 
Yeah! 

/// You ready to go again, Kiddo? 
Yes, indeed I am! 
[[CHORTLING INTENSIFIES]] 
Oh boy! ///

We're Shameless

I wrote a song about cucking my friend Jarv's TAVOR rifle inspired waifu because he likes guns and is a Canuck and you can't spell Canuck without CUCK. Because I could and I had a free morning. Fuck you, have a free mp3 of it. Be more careful of lolita lesbians next time, Jarv. You fucking cuck.
Image by https://twitter.com/On_TheBounce because HE IS A CUCK but he's legit great and a good sport

Lyrics:
Let me
Reminisce about the time that I told ya
Give up waitin' for that wanna-be soldier
Boys with toys will never grow up
And we're only getting older

Please excuse the profanity and swearing
I must admit I kinda stopped caring
Holy shit, your tip is so hot
Fuck the Glock, Smith, and Wesson
Yeah it's you that I'm wearing

I can see you're 'bout to lurch
Up there in your Sniper's perch
Better change your name to "Anthony Burch"

No I won't stop
CUCKING CUCKING CUCKING 
FUCKING SUCKING LUCKING out with you

She's just too good
LOOKIN' LOOKIN' LOOKIN'
FUCKING SUCKING LUCKING out with you

woo

Jarv's Waifu

A song I made one fine morning about cucking my friend Jarv's waifu

http://mysteryskulls.com/ 
Art by Alphena: http://alphenart.tumblr.com/
Decided to cover Mystery Skulls because why not? I've been a fan since the very early days and I remember sitting in coffee shops and listening to the demos of Paralyzed and Ghost over and over again waiting for a whole album to come out.
Guess I feel a little nostalgic for those sort of days so here's a cover. Drop one semitone and slow it down. Yeah.
Kenny and Mae for this one because, once again, why not?

Paralyzed (Mystery Skulls cover)

Art by Norasuko: https://www.patreon.com/norasuko
Bandcamp: https://kenashcorp.bandcamp.com/track...
iTunes and Spotify soon!
Those bears will eat you alive. 
The invisible storm will come for you.
Annie, Kenny, and Mae.

Lyrics:
---------------
Why don't you tell me what exactly I did wrong? 
I'm open to the bones 
And all these flowers you trampled in the garden 
Replaced with stones 

Looking at the two-way mirrors 
White chapels and white walls fade away to dreams 
Looking at the white veil falling 
The promises we made 
The promises we'll keep 

They set fire to the forest 
Hoping they would catch the bear 
I'm as guilty as they promised 
All the lilies did turn black as we weathered out the storm 
Keep me safe 
Keep me warm 

Why won't you tell me? 
Why won't you talk to me at all? 
Your face stuck to your phone 
So we're black lilies 
Well we'll still grow without the sun 
No, we won't be alone 

We walled our hearts off to them 
Those petty high school calls fade away to dreams 
Looking at the white veil falling 
The promises we made 
The promises we'll keep 

They set fire to the forest 
Hoping they would catch the bear 
I'm as guilty as they promised 
All the lilies did turn black as we weathered out the storm 
Keep me safe 
Keep me warm 

They set fire to the forest 
They set fire to the forest 
They set fire to the forest 
They set fire to the forest 

They set fire to the forest 
I'm as guilty as they promised 
All the lilies did turn black as we weathered out the storm 
Keep me safe 
Keep me warm

Black Lily

Just a guy who's a musician for fun. Shortstack Panda Girl not related.

We're Shameless

Ken Ashcorp

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