"Don't Piss On My Leg And Tell Me It's Raining" (#398, 200924)

Damn near got matching tattoos
But you said they ran out of ink
My buddies all laugh at your name on my ass
And I ain't got a clue what to think

We almost became man and wife
But your oil change just couldn't wait
Told me you panicked and boinked the mechanic
It seems like you knew you'd be late

So don't hand me cowpies and tell me they're raisins
Don't roast my hot dog and tell me it's bacon
Somethin' ain't right accordin' to my calculations
Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's rainin'

Bought you that new diamond ring
You said it got lost in the street
So howcome I'm certain you went and returned it
For every cent on that receipt

Spent a weekend with my cousin
Family time was your story
Well it's all fun and games until someone gets laid
Now it's an episode of Maury

So don't hand me cowpies and tell me they're raisins
Don't roast my hot dog and tell me it's bacon
Somethin' ain't right accordin' to my calculations
Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's rainin'

So don't bring me Twinkies and tell me you made 'em
Don't make up games and expect me to play 'em
I may not know much but I'm pretty sure you're mistaken
Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's rainin'

Week 39b - Don't Piss On My Leg And Tell Me It's Raining (200924)

Copyright Erin Wolf 2020

Guitar & Vocals: Erin Wolf
Lyrics: James Tristan Redding & Erin Wolf
Music: Erin Wolf

*This song uses a wide range of old unused prompts from Song-A-Week founder, James Tristan Redding (@jimtristan). Former prompts featured can be found following the song lyrics with the year the prompt is from. While I had hoped to use them as prompts in their own right, it seemed fitting to put them all together while also using Week 40's theme, "Ifs and Thens". Thank you for the wonderful inspiration, old friend!*

last call, but i'll keep nursing my
whiskey for one
i used to say i like myself better when I'm drunk
but that old me is gone
that old me is gone

i guess my best was pretty bad, hey
what i said is not what i wanted to say
but in the end, i pay for my mistakes
pay for my mistakes

all i ever wanted was to make you proud
but for all i know,
i've failed and let you down
if i could just make you smile
even for a moment
that would be just fine

it's 11:59 and here i am hoping
that you are my tomorrow morning
forget ifs and thens
how or whens
what do ya say

forget ifs and thens
how or whens
what do ya say

(vocalizations)
(because i'm too lazy to type them all out)

**********
old JTR prompts featured in this song (year)
1. make you proud (2018)
2. 11:59 (2018)
3. my best was pretty bad (2018)
4. you are my tomorrow (2017)
5. whiskey for one (2017) 
6. for all i know (2017)
7. pay for my mistakes (2016)
8. not what i wanted to say (2016)
9. i like myself better when i'm drunk (2010)
10. if i could just make you smile (2009)

It's 11:59 Somewhere

Ifs and Thens - Song a Week 2020, Week 41

I see you in the morning and the words stick in my throat
Alarms ring when I look you in the eye and so I don't
I’ve learned to take a deep breath, then I slowly let it out
Every day I notice every time that you're around

and I want you to be mine all the time

I WANT you when I'm near you and I want you from afar
I WANT you with my body and I want you with my heart
I WANT to find a moment we can talk with just us too
I want to make you want me in the way that I want you

Cause I want you to be mine all the time

All the time, all the time, all the time
That I spend dreaming of you
I could BUILD a house of cards so high
The jack of hearts would touch the sky
If I found out you feel the way I do

Cause I want you to be mine all the time

I Want You To Be Mine

The train this week is leaving for sapville. All aboard!

I started with the idea of someone realizing that the "I" in "I love you" had changed while repeating that phrase over time and it kinda went full mopey from there. I really gotta write an upbeat positive tune next week - you'd think "simple and sweet" woulda been the one, but whelp, here we are.

****

Don't like to think what I am leaving behind
It's easier that way
If I tell you that I'm sleeping fine
It's easier that way
I've been falling all to pieces
I've been thinking you've been doing the same
Don't like to think what I am leaving behind
But it's better than staying this same

It's all coming down

Cause I don't recognize me
I've been wondering who am I
In I love you

You've been talking about growing old
I feel smaller now every day
Chipping stone from a statue
I've been wondering what will remain

Cause I don't recognize me
I've been wondering who am I
In I love you
I don't know who loves you

We could keep things sweet and simple
But when we put it like that 
It's hard but what I'm leaving behind
Is getting hollower every day

It's not that I don't wanna stay
It's who'd be left in my place

It's all coming down

Cause I don't recognize me
I've been wondering who am I
In I love you
I don't know who loves you

I've been wondering why
I love you
I've been wondering when
I should be leaving soon, should be leaving soon
I've been wondering where
I'll be going to
I've been wondering what who I used to be would do

Sweet and Simple - Song a Week 2020, Week 42

“Edit That Part Out” (#405, 201021)

The stars were shining the moon was full
Your hair was silky in the twilight calm and cool
We traced the water step by step
Beside the harbor when the world had gone to bed

And it was epic like a movie
When a perfect ending turns it all around
Never mind all the ways you fooled me
In the memories I edit that part out

Our days were golden our nights were sweet
There was magic in the moments in between
We kissed the rain drops in the summer glow
And in winter we made angels in the snow

It was worth it the years of hoping
Picture perfect up until it all went down
Forget the fact that my heart was broken
When I think of you I edit that part out

Every autumn around November
I could let regret surround me even now
But I choose not to remember
When I think of you I edit that part out

Week 43a - Edit That Part Out (201021)

Beyond Belief (A Sunday Drive) 
by Erin Wolf, Laurie & David Easterling 
© 10/18/2020 Little Chute, WI and Oak Ridge, TN 
“... for children, play is serious learning.” ~ Fred Rogers

Riding through the mountain park
Backseat of the family car 
Loaded up with sleepy kids and snacks
Daddy spins around and cries
I drop my book in my surprise​
Hey kiddo look out there it might attack

Take me for a Sunday drive
To see the autumn leaves 
Remindin’ me why we’re alive
Magic beyond belief
Do you see that shadow in the mist? 
I think I hear a dragon hiss
Jackie Paper can’t be far behind
But all I see is a giant tree 
Wait did it wink at me?
Is it a real dragon or all in my mind

Take me for a Sunday drive
To see the autumn leaves 
Remindin’ me why we’re alive
Magic beyond belief

Mermaids swimming in lagoons
Werewolves waiting on the moon
Is there a unicorn behind that tree?
Phoenix rising to the sky
Clouds of fairies floating by
Am I truly seeing what I see?

Take me for a Sunday drive
To see the autumn leaves 
Remindin’ me why we’re alive
Magic beyond belief
Magic beyond

Beyond Belief (A Sunday Drive)

First three lines are Robert Frost's. 

*****

Some say the world will end in fire
Some say the world will in ice
From what I've tasted of desire
And while I'm sorry for the funeral pyre

Those who hold with fire pray
The rain will come and douse the flame
Forgetting hardened hearts of man
Who hold the oceans in their hand

Fire's a mind all of it's own
In time it gets out of control
So when it gets too late to halt
It feels like the fire's fault

But when the world will end in ice
Someone has to make a choice
To lay down in a wintered spring
And to take the blame for everything

So walk the world at the end of days
Past histories that leaving made
The world is full of heroes, burned
And villains into statues turned

While we all can learn from time
And say that we would want the ice
In time we are revealed as liars
Everyone would take the fires

Fire And Ice  - Song a Week 2020, Week 44

Song a week challenge - not on theme

There's a story behind this...but when we've played it to a couple of people the imagery they've associated to the story has been fascinating

I'd love to hear your imagery

And yes - Synthia is back out for a background spin!

Soldier

Looking at this life that we all share
What a lot of things we have in common
No-one's getting out of here alive
No-one's going through without a struggle
And the same sun warms everyone

Chorus
And all of us were children
We all had games and dreams
And all of us are soldiers
As we fight our pasts and fears
And all of us were broken
And all of us can heal
And all of us is everything
And all these things,
And all these things I feel

Such a piece of work is every man
and every woman every
Heart and mind can fill a thousand books
All of us have seen more than a 
casual glance could understand
Every pool is deeper than it looks
And the same dawn calls to us all

Chorus

And none of us can make it on our own
We all have a need for
Someone to accept us as we are in our sweet hearts
But none of us are saints or saviours
No-one's gonna come and save us
From the bed that we keep making for our own selves
and time it always tells me that…

Chorus

All Of Us

Place a on hand on the bible
And one on the handle
Of the door of the car
It's time to abandon
As it is slowing
Coming round the corner
Pray for soft landing
And that he’s carried far

By the speed of the traffic

Don’t slow it down

There’s a house outside Portland
A friend said was empty
There’s gas in the car
And cash in the floorboards
The hardest decision
After forsaking everything
Is to roll down the driveway
And choose a direction

Don’t slow it down

Don’t slow it down
The ending leaves
Some gray space
For decisions like these

And if you decide
To still believe
There’s right, there’s wrong
And there’s what you need

Someday we die
And if it’s not forgiving
You lost half of your life
Better start living

Fire And Ice - Song a Week 2020, Week 44

Charlatan, PE