first version, recorded on electric acoustic around September 2023 before I got my telecaster.

hurt (demo)

almost made it to the ep but i ultimately decided it was pretty boring

Your fear of death will kill you
Please open the door
You're in your head it kills me
It will the end when someone breaks
No one you could save
Then what will you do

Just keep wasting time
Same room the same wall same everything
You were the only one who didn't hate someone like me
I overheard you say that you're gonna leave and not come back
I'm shoveling your grave i just need to see you one more time, one more time
Again

Your fear of death will kill you (Last time that i saw you looked)
Please open the door (Happy i don't get it did you)
You're in your head it kills me (Get fucked up or something i can't)
It will the end when someone breaks (Get the answer i want from you)
No one you could save
Then what will you do

fear of death (demo)

october 2023 album scrap

one of my friends
they make music i guess
it sounds funny but
i think i'll send you a link
so you can hear

i still find it weird
when i hear their name
said by someone i don't know
oh how time flies

i remember the days
when we used to play
all those dumb computer games
how bittersweet

i guess it worked out
seeing by the big number plastered on their page
i hope they're good

i hope i hope i hope
(was i supposed to let go?)
i hope i hope i hope
(or did you just outgrow me?)
i hope i hope i hope
(all of those times we spent i know)
(do you still think about me now?)

you're busy with plans
i don't think we'll ever meet again
i'll keep you on
the back of my mind
and check on your numbers all the time
but we won't talk
again i feel like we could hit it off in current time with ease
i tell my friends about the times we spent even if they were brief

one of my friends (demo)

made this yesterday, facgcd tuning, shitty diy acoustic

red faced, i didn't know that you'd break me like this
build me up, tear me back down this time around
light up fast, hear my name
i'm a match, i can't run from shame, or you stupid games, i still love
i can't turn you on

is it gross to want you to myself?
is it wrong to feel jealous and cheated out of something that we never talked about

i'm used to excuses
i'm not gonna tell you how i feel, i need you to guess
and i'm sorry if you saw me cry
it's a sight to see, it's embarassing
i promise there'll be no more tears coming out of my eyes anymore
can i sleep on your basement floor?

riding on promises, you'll never get what you want
i tried hard, i went sore, somehow you still wanted more

gross (demo)

im high and a hypocrite

fuck you

here:

we're all running from something
we do it in different ways
some of my friends chose to smoke
to take opiods and coke
i tried
to be here for a long time
and you took one more pill to cut me off
and i don't wanna be one
to watch as you fade away
i tried to tell you to stop
to hide your fix away
but you said you've done this for a long time
even if you took a thousand pills i'd stay

and i know that i'll never know
even if i say a thousand words
i'll never get it
but know you can't die yet
if i leave and go back home
promise you won't hang up the phone
you know i love you
it's not your turn

running (demo)

i've wanted
i've wanted for
so long
so long

wanted (demo)

fuck this song
i recorded this in a shitty car with a 20$ microphone. i don't know how to mix said microphone.

i did what you wanted
and now there's nothing left to do
i'm a statue in your mattress
letting go and leaving scratches
now nothing's important
there's nothing left i like to do
so for fun i'll eat your scraps and
light my insides up with matches

when you're gone
i lose sense of direction and at home
i see a lookalive of you on my tv

light me up oh i wanna
melt away in your arms
i see someone looking
but it seems like they're so far
so far

fuck what i want i'll
do everything you tell me to
hold my breath until i'm purple
until i'm speaking in circles
break something important
break everything i tell you to
these frail bones will heal themselves up
and we'll all be okay

tell me do it, tell me do it, and i'll do it.

fuck what i want

i'll be yours for now

safeword (demo)

on my own
since nowhere i go ever feels like home
and you know how it is
to want somewhere to sit around and be
but the cost
of privacy is a lot
look at the photograph and think
you're where you need to be

and i've grown tired of this place
i'll make the sure the mirrors break
when someone else stares back
these days i've stopped of plans
giving everything away
and letting my plants die

i'll stick for you
because you don't deserve to be alone

while so scared of judgement but selfish to think
i would do the same sin with god looking at me
i would do the same thing were you looking at me
i would do the same thing were you looking at us

the usual (demo)

scrap from iflas
scrapped because : voice is particularly annoying in this one / instrumental is too much like still-life

i saw you in someone
not for any reason
not for any reason at all
yet you kept seeing me
taking a look inside last time
im so caught up in reason
with nothing going on
nothing going on around here
watering and letting grow
something beyond my fears
i notice the motifs in your work
i know what heals you
i know what hurts
this winter season dont come outside
dont try, and dont ask me why
you made me see traces
some traits in some people
yeah you made me think the whole world was evil
im forgetting everything that you tried to teach
we're living in bliss while covered in some debris

dont be so full of yourself (demo)

não vale a pena

letra: 
sera que era
coincidência
e tudo era coisa da minha cabeça
saiba que ja quis ser alguém
que por voce faz de tudo
e que achava que você
iria me levar junto pra todo o lugar
mas fui perceber
que a lua não brilhava mais igual brilhava
e nenhum por do sol me impressionava
eu lembrava de tudo que eu ja fiz
pra tentar achar a coisa errada
quando eu cheguei no fundo do poço
olhei pra trás e não tinha escada
eu sei, mas so entre nos
eu não fui veloz o suficiente
pra te parar ou te alcançar
tente esquecer, mas o mundo o lembrará

nao va se segurar no corrimão
não tropece mais e tente sair daqui
a culpa vem a culpa volta mas não vou dividir
não tenta falar da sua historia eu não vou te ouvir

coincidência

Eb Standard

don't act for a camera that wants you being seen
don't try to be someone who doesn't see a thing
don't forget about the way he made you feel
somehow this time felt worse than the first
guess by now i thought i would've learned
you did nothing wrong, maybe i wasn't right
ruining conjured puzzles of your face in my mind
had the world ended
then we would've stayed
see the billboards
let's picture rainbows in their ever shining light
when it hits close your eyes

conjoined (interlude)

Standard

i don't wanna fall back in love
i don't wanna be the one that you were thinking of
sometimes my arms weren't enough
and you might have a hard time reaching up above
time keeps passing so I'm counting on it to make me a little less sick
your opponent's always been somebody else you would've known
if you knew yourself

look how
look how you made me
and thank god for my new shriveled ways
I'm looking up from the bottom
somewhere under the bridge
i don't wanna be a martyr, i would rather be free

why don't you say what you want?
maybe you should go wherever you want for once
i can't pass my time

i gave staying an effort
somehow i still fell behind
and i don't want a cure, i just wanted to feel fine
and it seems like nothing's changing how i thought it would
i just wish that i had wanted something easier

easier, easier
life's all about getting what you want
why chase something that you will not be catching instead of giving up?
giving up?
give

in the midst of it all, i could see your face, i could try again
oh don't be so cold, you just wanna say i told you so
and watch as i fall flat
listen i just wanna change
and if it's really that simple why don't you come and fix my brain
who am i to judge if you're all alone?
and no one hangs your coat when you get back home
(no one hangs your coat)

medicine

Standard Capo 1

I know that this is all you've known
For all of it's worth
For all your life
And that's just how it is
Crotchet me my voodoo doll
This time I decide
If i win
Or if i get to lose
Painful, but that's just how it is when you lose yourself
In someone else
But what do I know?
Strangely it all seemed to stop right after I left
And back home every house starts losing space
Drawers ran through, choices made

Oh my god, I thought about it for a minute then stopped
Fucking myself won't get me any further
Looks like I did nothing but talk a lot
Like I said, the thought was hanging on the back of my head
And the city's hero turned his back in the end
The end, there was no saving left

You know that you can't fix the cold in the wintertime
You know that even if you pull the strings you flatline

But nothing matters like it does when I'm near you
And nothing matters like it does when I'm there
And nothing matters like it does when I'm near you
And nothing matters like it does

I know how it feels when giving up
Part of you pays back
Everyone had someone tell them that they're not enough
You took it and laughed
Riding on a promise, you won't ever say so
You threw out your microphone, took the bus and went home
Now I get the feeling it's some kind of syndrome
You said that you hated it why didn't you say so

Why didn't you say?  Why didn't you say so?
There's nothing else I would've said
I tried

promise

Eb Standard

don't go
that fucking look on your face
yeah i'd know it from anywhere
it's like you don't wanna be there
at all
and when i wanted to sleep
i could pretend we're not meant to be
nothing that i did was half enough at all
and if i tried harder
maybe i'd be something more
and maybe things will figure themselves out
again, again

don't act like a zombie when i'm passing by
nothing makes you angrier than someone wasting time
yeah i know you hate the small talk
but small talks' all i have
when i try to be honest skip over what i said
still stuck on the same words
putting them together doesn't work
why be stuck on the same page?
you have both legs still and they still work

don't try to match the pieces
you don't know me at all
i wanna be someone who's there to hold your fall
i'll stay with you for no reason
but i won't be there long
so when i take my leave know it wasn't fault
it was never your fault
(don't you open up, or get close enough, you won't get anywhere at all)

i should leave and take home a thousand words
and i don't know how this part of my brain works
you said try then i tried to keep it down
i look my best just in case you come around
yeah i'm acting like a kid and i should stop
but this couple in the subway looked like us
and you're smart so i know you'll get home safe
but when you get there call me anyway

half enough

D Standard

we had these wings
and we would always soar up and fly
take a leap
tell me what you see
we kept going fueled by nothing
for a moment, i was you

here i thought
if i flew
you would be there for me waiting
fall face flat
on asphalt
don't move away, just be patient
we wanna be king of
something larger than life in a scripture
if i gave you a decade to choose
in the end you'd make the same decision again
so know yourself

i don't know why i was so afraid of asking
don't be that way, i can't leave yet there's no time

let's be nothing for a moment
let's pretend like we don't know 
sheepish self don't you see 
there's a whole world beyond me
and i know i'll find you back

nothing for a moment

Eb Standard

once you told me you'd
give me everything
i sank deeper and
found myself hiding
found myself wishing
but you had your reasons

i'd fly high
to see
however these things used to be
i saw it in your eyes
don't lie, this time

i can't fly but i 
need a moment to see
in this clarity
someone believes in me
i hold on to the cracks and try to believe
to believe
mirror tells me judge
but i'd never judge you
i know i don't try
but i think i trust you

for you i'd repeat myself
a thousand times
fear driven dog in your way
screaming for help on the railway line
i stray far from the sea by day, by day
so if millions judge then what's the use?
i don't need your grace, you can save yourself
I've wished for those wings you were born with
in my selfish ways
stumbling every time, stumbling, stumbling

you knew me back then

i can't fly but i 
need a moment to see
in this clarity
someone believes in me
i hold on to the cracks and try to believe
to believe

i can't fly but i 
need a moment to see
in this clarity
someone believes in me
i hold on to the cracks and try to believe
to believe

carpe diem avem

Standard

we won't be sisters
try to erase me
you dared to have my hand through your clothes again
don't you know we need some space
just maybe it was a phase in the end
i can't hold onto one weekend
i won't hold onto impossibles too
if the memory ends i might break
no one at all should know
don't be so afraid
in the limit, there's more you could take
i won't say if there's no curatives left
so go and find some on your own

lately, i've been having this dream
with some kind of earthquake shaking everything
i had seen this figure hold onto my hand
even though i knew there was no one left
and now the dream has gotten old
i wake up shaking, not from fear but something else
something i don't know
(i wasn't afraid of you at all)
(i wanna stray away)
(i wasn't afraid of you at all)

if we had to try
wouldn't it feel wronger to start over
doing whatever all over again?
but i shouldn't know
in the end of the world let's watch all the meteors fall
why wait until we're gone?

and i wanna see everything i'm missing
we all wanna be something that we're not
you'll feel accomplished for someone that looks like me
don't try so hard to get rid of everything

hourglass memory

FACGCE, Capo 3

thousand times i've told you i'm not one to save
helping hand i made sure that you knew your place

i know my place, i know my place, i know my place, i know my place,

hey even though i said i'd fuck you up
i can't stand to see you get like this
i don't wanna be the one
that has to run around
and tell you that you're missed
even though i said i'd listen
lately you stopped making sense
i'm not good enough to treat
the parasite disease
that’s been plaguing your head
maybe i just don't understand

even though i said
that they’re nothing but words
my brain still tries to find
something to get behind
and even for no reason
i'll still look for meaning
there's nothing here to gain

i'm as ill as you say
with nothing left to give
malnourished, turning gray
just look me in my face
when i talk to you
cry but have a reason
don't act like you always knew
maybe i was right
and in the end i'd grasp at you
trying hard to hold you still as you leave, as you leave

and if i begged you to listen
maybe i'd get you to give me some time
maybe i'd be just like back when you cared
but really you'd shut me off
i want your pity so hear me out
i should embarrass myself for your love
i will embarrass myself for your love
i will embarrass myself for your love

i will stay still in the memory
here we don’t move and you’re still there
and nothing ever changed at all today
i tried my best to cure our symptom

ooh ooh ooh ooh

symptom

D Standard

forget what you want deep down and do enough
not anything more
you changed what you wanna do but it's alright, maybe you just grew up
while in hard times in life, you'll play with your luck and walk on a tightrope
know someone who's likely to play with their heart and wear it on a sleeve

even if nobody knew about it
i know you still do
and think of me
don't let anything hang out the covers
don't stray too far
you know where you're supposed to be
and it's not where you are
i don't wanna hold your hand or stare
into your eyes anymore

and if i knew what to say
i'd just say it
i try to shut my mouth
there's no use in complaining
you make a fool of yourself yet i still wanna see you
i know what fading looks like
and you're time based, snowman
tell me what you wanna do, i'll tell you if you can
i have this feeling, you're melting away
don't let the years pass, don't forget my face, face, face

you have this way
of spewing out words
i never understood
because you wasted away your medal's bronze
at least you weren't fourth
we would've been out of here
had you gave thought
to who's really in charge

even if nobody knew about it
i know you still do
and think of me
don't let anything hang out the covers
your heart went dry you gave all the love you had
you know where you're supposed to be
and it's not where you are
i don't wanna hold your hand or stare
into your eyes anymore

snowman, snowman

Eb Standard

Even in fall
You'll live out your sunny days
So when you're all alone
I hope you can find the missing space

And even in a dream
Even in a dream you found the words

I write this knowing you won't see it
We're both missing puzzle pieces
And i can't really explain right now what it is I'm even grieving
And everything's been drastic
And I'm not used to the feeling
I'm used to nothing at all

There's no point in knowing what there is to know of, what they all talk of
If you lose while trying, weaponizing dying's easier for most
If i was a rifle maybe then you'd hide me underneath your bed
When they chop my head off for the sin of being, they'll come for you next, you dumb fuck

rifle

i sat
perfectly still
unable to move
unable to tell you how i feel
secrets weren't always there
in a perfect world
maybe then we'd have nothing to hide

don't turn your gears around me
cause i can tell just what you're thinking
oh you're my favorite subject
and when you talk I'll always listen
close enough
we've got close enough
i won't go anywhere at all

i keep holding onto these coffee stained pages
post-it memories
stared at until i couldn't see
i want a new family
someone i could the blame on
to make me feel at ease
to make it easier to sleep

oh you've been hearing that i've been going bad
and my ideas they didn't work as planned
and everything it happens all the time
life threw a bone at a dog i threw away the chance
and i know humans, they love to make mistakes
and i know humans, they hold your arms and dance
and i know humans, they make you so confused
i wanna know how human you can really get, you can really get

don't turn your gears around me
cause i can tell just what you're thinking
oh you're my favorite subject
so when you talk, i'll always listen
close enough
we've got close enough
i won't go anywhere at all

anywhere, where
where, where (because I'll take you anywhere i want right now and you'll just follow me)
follow me

only human / anywhere at all

FACGCE Capo 1

Now you're stuck and it's your fault
I tried hard to help you through you it all
It was so simple
You fucked up when you just had to apologize

Don't stand so close to the TV
Cause you might see something you like
You're so special so unique
I wish that I could take your mind

If this brain was somehow easier to mold
I'd get it just the way i like
I'd be someone with a little bit more courage
And wouldn't feel the need to lie

Wishing i'd stop talking
I can't seem to shut my mouth when i need to
You didn't mean to leave me alone
But I spoke early, way too soon
And there was nothing you could do but see through me

I couldn't help but notice the calluses up on your hand
Don't live with your fists closed

Take that empathy you have and shove it somewhere else
I don't need your pity I'll feel sorry for myself
Oh to think the finished painting had so many lines to see

Now I'm stuck and it's my fault, reach out and I'll cut your arms in half
It was so simple, so easy to speak on my behalf
Now you're gone and it's all up to me to clean up your mess
And I'm back to thinking that I need someone to care for me
Why'd it have to be so easy?

tackle

Eb Standard

se voce não me lembrar
vai ser melhor pra nós
o seu mundo vai rodar
ganhe o dia, ele sempre foi seu
se o retrato quebrar
jogue o fora
sem dó
os meus restos vão ficar
na sua vida depois

eu sei, voce não faria outra vez
mas falei, nos ainda queremos ser assim, quase alguém
sentados a espera de uma vez
eu fiquei

se meu mundo acabar eu não vou mais correr
minhas pernas vão secar
eu ja fiz meu dever
então voce vai ver

eu ando atrás de uma certeza, ela tem que ser perfeita
algo surreal, fora do normal
e eu nunca quis acreditar, em nenhuma profecia
é que gente como eu não tem por que sonhar

mundo

FACGCE

Lately i’ve been struggling 
Separating seriousness From light hearted comments 
They all blend inside my head 
If that weren’t me, i would laugh B
ut there’s no one else in frame 
I don’t see the joke 
The irony in dirty busses home 
In acting like no one would ever know 
I tried hard to to shut myself up until i couldn’t stop throwing up on the floor 
Trying to solve, oh some riddle that’s not there at all 
Am I heaven-sent if i keep this body 
Selfishly waiting and selfishly rotting 

There’s a merit to it all 
Place your money on yourself 
There’s no getting out of this one
No one coming for your help

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