Battles I'm In

FAKE NEWS FAKE NEWS! The slimy headline chaser J. Jonah Jameson debates the red-faced liar Alex Jones! Who will push the other off their platform?! 

Video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJjecO_yFIQ

►Alex Jones voiced by Skitzy (me)

►J. Jonah Jameson voiced by Raichous 
@raichousrapbattles

►Mixed by Freshy Kanal
@freshy-kanal

►Thumbnail made by Fightmarker
@fightmarker 

►►►►►►►►►►►►►►►►►►►►
Alex Jones Verse 1 
_____________________________________________ 
 Now let me make something ENTIRELY CLEAR.
 I’m a bear, A MENACE, with rhetoric to fear!
 Hear your son spittin’ Venom at his wife, no doubt!
 Smear your tax return status like your journalist clout. 
 Cause unlike you, I fight the Super-Powers!
 Send all of your SuperPAC Villains, SHIT, even Howard!
 Trump’s got my back, so we’ll stomp this Boy Scout!
 And you better not act out, if you want that corp bailout!
 Info Wars are a-brewin, when Fake News are a-stewin!
 I’ll getcha blood pressure risin, when I’m interviewin!
 SO IT’S MONO E MONO FUCKER! YOU DON’T ALARM ME!
 I’LL EASILY DECK A DOUCHE WHO CAN’T MAKE HIS OWN COFFEE!

 JJJ Verse 1
_____________________________________________
 Just my luck, another one of the daily nutcases!
 But I GUESS I’M “REPORTING” BASICS TO A SADIST!
 Here’s a Headline, “Rip-Off O'Reilly Ran Off the Web!”
 Make that Spider Menace jealous with a face that red!
 I’M THE J-J-J, THE TRIPLE H OF THE BIZ!
 WHILE THE K-K-K SOURCES THE LIES OF YOUR DISS!
 In journalism, entertaining nutjobs is a formality..
 Have Betty buzz a bozo with “Super Male Vitality”!
 You’re a Trump lovin’ blowhard whinin’ ‘bout the gay frogs!
 But you’ve been cancelled like his twitter and the Twitch chat pogs! 
 THE ONLY PICS YOU BUY ARE OF A NUDE JACOB WOHL NERD!
 I NEED PICTURES OF SPIDERMAN, YOU’RE FIRED!

Alex Jones Verse 2  
_____________________________________________
 I’M A CAVEMAN, DRINKING ON THIS CAVEMAN!
 NOT TAKING SHIT FROM A FAILED PORTAL CAVE MAN!
 Hosting Just the Facts, sounds like your brain sharted!
 Call me Spider-Man 3, cuz I'm kinda retarded
 And when it comes to style, what’s your game plan?
 Can’t decide if you wanna be Hitler or his biggest fan!?
 I’m the shining beacon of masculinity, and no, I don’t kid!
 So stand down and go back to roleplaying arach-kid!

 JJJ Verse 2
_____________________________________________
                *Meme Laugh break*
 You serious?! Nevermind, you’re unfired!
 You’ve been so aged by the rage, you should’ve just retired!
 Hit you with the one two, and a Sandy Hook too!
 Only claim it’s an act, when the parents try to sue!
 More concerned with a pickle jar then actual news!
 You’d rather booze on a cruise then slander Ted Cruz!
 HOFFMAN! This joke gives out fake docs like Brock!
 But you’ll be remembered as no, chip off the old blog...

►Beat by Audio Network

J. Jonah Jameson Vs Alex Jones ❰Rap Battle❱

LYRICS

SpinDashPro:
What you're about to see will be total destruction! 
Tails, not now, I'm trying to deliver an introduction 
What, against the guy from 2010
Who only serves as a footnote for nerds who browse on the web? Yeah!
Your mic’s the only peak you reached, your sound’s soundin’ stressed!
Leave it to the 14 year old to go and spout some nonsense
You're already used to throwing, dude, your house is a mess
Aged about 3 years and then went down with your trend! 
My content will forever remain iconic
Your content’s TedTalking why people hate Sonic
And who’s the choice of guy on your back that you’ve chosen?
I thought we already took down SuperMarioLogan

Sammyclassicsonicfan:
I’ve had it up to here with your fricking spitting!
‘Least all my fans didn’t think I’m fricking missing!
It’s funny how my content’s the one you’re fricking dissing
‘Cause yours devolved to Sonic fan-frick-tion!
You attack like you're so fricking harmful
But your rhyming sounds like you're tripping marbles!
And I’m tired of having to deal with the trolls and haters
My shots frick you up like “IMMA FIRIN MAH LAZER”
Paused production and the fans grew older
You run a track as well as a Krazy Koster
Fricking pull in Knuckles and you’re still punching out 
So make like all your old videos and cut it ou-

SpinDashPro:
Raps flunking like the 2DS, but I guess two really suits too
Must be drinking disappearing ink, I can see right through you
But hey, it’s bold of you to embrace what you used to be, it’s cool to see
Then you wouldn’t have changed much if you quit YouTube!

Sammyclassicsonicfan:
Me quitting YouTube? You’re one to talk
You fricking shooed off of the platform and dropped
You’re not good with comebacks, just look at your growth, man!
I’d switch the channel to a different cooking program

CREDITS 

GamingPlush64 As Sonic
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtWX7jJ5lodM_poQuXMTqjQ
Shimario As Tails
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsFyrvAhPhiEvJ1yL_Ux8MQ
Fightmarker as sammyclassicsonicfan
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClNJgoh_a9oYoLenAR0RzGg

Written by Rabi and GamingPlush64
Mixed and mastered by GamingPlush64
Beat by Kustom
Thumbnail by Rabi
Art by Nooby
https://soundcloud.com/user-465943028

SpinDashPro vs. Sammyclassicsonicfan - Rap Battle

----------------------------------------------------------------
CREDITS: 
Written By: Eric The Audible, Mason G.
Mixed By: Nathan Provost
Art By: Matthew Thomas
Production By: MTC Beatz

----------------------------------------------------------------
CAST:
Fightmarker - Alex Jones
Eric The Audible - Carl Azuz
Intern - Nathan Provost

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Alex Jones (0:10)
They’re coming after me - the establishment 
So tell me whose this satanist im rap battlin’
CNN? I ain’t afraid of you liars
Cause in this “mostly peaceful” rap all my rhymes will be fire!

Carl Azuz (0:21)
Judging by the awfully biased hatred you spew, 
You're the age of information gone straight down the tube, 
So I get why Google and Twitter would have you removed 
Now I’ll strike you down too, like I’m Carl A-Zeus

Sources say your info’s fictional - we’ll see it again
We keep the news legit - CNN 10/10
And like his legal team, Jones is always on the defense
We’ll clarify for your audience: y’all these shots ain’t pretend

Conning old men about fake “info wars”
But when it comes to conmen you’re the intro course
I’d say keep it calm man, when you misinform
But you get hopping mad over frog intercourse

Alex Jones (0:52)
You deny it’s the deep state who’s feeding ya
But I’ve survived smears from the fake news media
I’m standing right here, collect and kill me with the patriots!
You waste class time, but my freedom? you ain’t taking it

This just in folks, got brand new info
That Carl Hackzus is in the sex-with-pigs cult
He cuts their entrails, (yuck) snips the ends off 
Then goes to a Chinese Palace where him and his friends talk

They take the blood of goblins, mixed with carbonic acid
Sip it with the Clintons and rich people with Iraqi accents
They chat about eradicating the lower classes 
And cash in on aborted fetuses to buy Masonic assets!

(WOOF) On your trail - wolf blood - I’m the alpha male 
Strike with a mic and a rifle, you will not prevail
I’m going viral, want the cure for the best offer go
To infowars.com and order 4 quarts of testosterone 

Like the CDC on this beat, grab your mask please
You couldn’t control me with a million vaccines
If I'm the mad dog you say, I'd rather stay deranged
Than submit to clark kent who's been hit with beta rays

Carl Azuz:
I’d spend our last segment going through that rap wreckage 
But kids can see through your conspiracy: that’s fact - check it 
I’m just a humble journalist, so I should give you props
For being the first English news outlet posted by Russian bots

I mean you’re going viral all right, and your fans stay loyal
You gave them COVID-19 and then your snake oil
But shoutout to Central High School, I’ve been Carl Azuz
This is CNN 10 - sorry for the old news!

Central Rap Battles: Alex Jones vs. Carl Azuz

Jeffree Star Voiced By Jenni No Mercy
Tom Savini Voiced By Raichous
Written By Jenni No Mercy
Mixed By Raichous
Thumbnail By Oofie
Beat Prod. by Frankie Vibes  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5NbTwBZMMI

Jeffree:
I’m sorry, but why do you wanna face this?
Looking like Ted White after a Jason face lift!
Gotta be a prank. Did the Dobres tape this?
Call you a powder foundation, ya basic!
Now I’ve been used to drama, but this has-been as my rival kinda lowers the bar
I’m fuck-proof on the mic, we’re worlds apart, Hitting you so hard, call me Jeffree WorldStar!
I’ll shatter through that haphazard slash man
A fashion disaster, with a flasher ‘stache, damn!
You career’s gone stagnant, The computer’s your replacement
Only fans are the pale nerds locked in their basements!
This Maniac thinks his blood fests are some hot shit
Boils down to gore porn made by a misogynist!
I’ve been told I was prodigy, a god to be, it’s odd to me
To see the Godfather of Gore is trying offing me!
Face it Tommy Boy! You looking Tubby, boy!
Maybe use your make up magic on that tummy, boy!
One watch of your “Wet Dreams” makes me sick!
Of course you like fencing. You’re just a little prick!
Now you get your chance, old man! Don’t have a heart attack grabbing the mic!
Although that would be a fitting end, to “Screaming Mad” George Lite

Tom:
(Heh) Thank god you stopped, think my hearing went dead
That rap made me envy my fake rubber head
Your damn squeaky voice is a spike to the brain
No wonder your music career’s in the drain
Sorry, princess. You’re shilling it, I make my Blood Money from spilling it
So you can try to make me seem villainous. Of course the Sultan of Splatter is killing it!
You’re used to cheap bars, it’s where you got your start in!
I cut my teeth, cutting wrists in Martin!
In that Hollywood circle, your boy was putting in work
You really wanna measure with your Youtube circle jerk?
I know documentaries, got two about Jason
That Shane Daws shlock was just bad product placement!
You only got lies spilling out your painted kisser
But your silver tongue couldn’t protect you from the sisters!
Cashing in on Controversy, it seems like a crapshoot!
So try to run the track. You can’t handle a tracksuit!
Think it’s time for the living Bratz doll to behave
You can watch me Sundance on top of your channel’s grave!
Hope you’re ready to burn out Jeff, ‘cause that’s all that Stars do
I’m spitting, committed to splitting you. You won’t be around for part 2!

Jeffree:
Watch it hun! I’m an internet icon, this bygone is nothing!
You really can’t throw shade at the shine coming off my Diamond button!
Got millions of followers, your demographic is teeny!
With the way you treat female fans, the real “Creepshow”’s Savini!
Enough Smoke and Mirror, your whole life is bomb
This fake vet was only shooting pics in Vietnam 
Everything you do misfires, it seems to be your lot
Maybe you could ask your daughter how to shoot a better shot

Tom:
Again you go for the cheapest hits, the easy shit, you freaking ditz!
This racist kid, and tasteless twit. Your talents being wasted, bitch!
Wanna question my honor? Your love life is a goner
Only fit in at my school as a model for the monster!
Keep calling me old? Well you’re goddamn right!
Was making movies violent when you were back at Prom Night!
Film is a magical medium, but even I couldn’t make your bars stand out
With that crap performance, even your fans are thinking….What Now?

Vault Boy vs Mr. Game and Watch - Rap Battle! (2021)

Beat: http://www.shadowville.com/audio//Shadowville.com%20-%20High%20Stakes.mp3
Written By: Jenni No Mercy
Mixed By Raichous
Raichous as Shaggy
RaccoonBroVA As Brock
Additional Help By Raichous


Shaggy:

Scoob! Go grab the snacks! Like, this’ll be fast!
When Shaggy is starting a rap, Like, you’ll lose to him faster than Ash!
I’ve gone against werewolves, and zombies, and ghosts! Like, I’ll leave a tagalong pounded
I find it ironic, your ace was an Onix, but you’re the one that’s getting Ground-ed!
You claim you have rock hard defenses, but don't have the stones to offend
Gave your last badge to a kid who cheated you in a fight when he was ten
And how did your story end? Replaced by a cilantro copy
With your chances of landing the cop or the nurse, in the nicest of  terms, being “Rocky”
While my series ain’t stopping. Like, I paved the way in animation!
The only thing your show’s leading in, is kid’s hospitalization
Over the years, portrayals were racey. Maybe I should be battling Tracy
You’ll need more than pebbles to faze me. There’s no dodging when you face me!

Brock:

Sorry Shaggy, but your tactics really had no effect
As a gym leader, I’m in charge of putting newbies in check
Think that you’re tough? Stop lying, man. You spend the whole mystery crying, man
So if flooding with flow’s your entire plan? Too bad I’ll be safe with my drying pan!
The OG rolling from Kanto! Your solo shows never finish.
If only you could Get a Clue. Your fanbase has quickly diminished.
You’re running from rubber masks. I throw myself into danger
I met with Dittos and mimes, but Denver’s clone’s still stranger!
And I bide my time, you’re rushing for cover to hide
Try as you might, you’ll end up greener than Hyde!
Can’t burn me, I’ve got Guts. I’m taking every attack
Think that you’ll earn my badge? You’ll have to be Boulder than that

Shaggy:

Your raps are ghost types, man. Completely see through
The way this Creeper acts, man, he’s on the verge of a “me too!”
So take defeat dude! Your traveling partners don’t need you!
Especially when it would take only like one percent of my power to beat you!
The sleuthing student moving though straight from the 60s
This dumb fiend may be 15, but ends up looking 50!
So try and hit, your disses miss me, listen to my voice
Like, I’m so amazing, I could beat you with one Zoinks!

Brock:

Your spitting is weak, no surprise though. I could beat this freak with my eyes closed.
Your WB’s Super High joke. I’m Bulldozing you with these tight flows!
His peers and his parents can’t stand him. Constant emotional damages.
I’m helping conquer gods while Rogers is conquering sandwiches!
You gluttonous Munchlax, you’d chomp through anything to get your fill
I studied Pokemon medicine, I’m an expert at things that are ill
From Lillard to West, your films are a mess, so testing me is a poor play
Hide behind the Blue Falcon, 'cause rapping isn't your Forte

Shaggy Vs. Brock

Beat: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4kBndlkZgME

Holt Voiced By JordoMIB
Swanson Voiced By Matt Raichous
Peralta Voiced By Stark Media
Written By Jenni No Mercy
Mixed By Matt Raichous
Thumbnail By Oofie

Holt:

Peralta! Who’s this hairy woodsman in my office?
That pine smell is noxious! He looks so obnoxious!

Jake:

Umm, sir? It’s a rap battle. You’re fighting with disses?

Holt:

Ridiculous! He should know a Captain’s shot never misses!

Ron:

I don’t like you, but I respect the effort
Maybe you should sit this out, don’t think you really wanna get hurt
I’m an expert as a wrecker, or protector, you’ll be busted.
And I hope you’re ready for some Really Good verse Construction

Holt:

I’m the leader of a team, cleaning the streets with precision
While this pigeon isn’t a smidge interested in decisions!
So just listen, all initiative you get goes to waste
So put down the sax, Duke. Silver’s always second place!
Just face it, I’m the greatest in the B99
You’re complacent,  work and laziness walking a fine line
Built up a sense of greatness, but you winning only relates
When you’re ripping through dozens of eggs, like it’s practice for Ann’s place!
And honestly? You’re trying too hard to be anonymous
You’re not some big shot hero: You’re just a common bitch!
No chance that Raymond’s bombing this, I’m obviously better
If I wanted to deal with an old dog, I’d call Cheddar!

Ron:

They gave your cop comedy a spot, but it was wasted
It’s like Mike took his best show and copied and pasted!
Got the lovable dumb lead, the overachieving partner
Sassy and badass women, and the losers, just for starters!
When it comes to spitting harder, I’m blunt with no jokes
Think of this as betting on the ponies, Raymond, ‘cause you’re going broke.
Holt is starting to choke, Velvet Thunder’s a Wet Blanket
Only time you run a track is with your childhood train set

Holt:

Crushing the competition. Is this Jimmie Jabby too?
Try accusing me of cheating, but I’m not Tammy 2!
Not too shabby of a poet, I’m a master with my tone
If you try to spit another verse, you’ll end up BOOOONED

Ron:

Those raps dragged on like your time in uniform did.
I’m so iconic, my stache is always era appropriate
The key to dealing with your bars, is just not listening
To flow so robotic, Twitter thinks a bot’s dissing me
In competition Ron is a General like his namesake
The only time you tried solving a case is when you played Jake!
I’m calling you the Government, you’re crazy and useless
Get your doctor hubby to take a look at your bruises

Raymond Holt Vs. Ron Swanson - Jenni's Jammin' Battles

whoa spooky dice!!!

acemusic as Celestia Ludenberg
AdamDRB as King Dice
Beat produced by Jota Rodriguez
Written by Trakked, Dilly and Chandler
Chiseled by BuffaloBrandon
Mixed by Trakked
Thumbnail by Rabi
Art by Nooby

Battle:
Dice:
I've heard of your bouts an' it's a pleasure to have ya
It's the Ultimate Gambler 'gainst a king of higher stature
Put the finger down, kid, this ain't a game of charades
Manipulated deadly games, now you're the one getting played
With tik tok teens dressing up as ya for attention
They'll need a content warning when I come and bring ya end kid
You're familiar with death, got Marie Antoinette'd
But I betcha didn't expect another fiery ending!

Celeste:
Greetings, Mr. Dice! Have we not been introduced?
I assume you use your stubborn demeanor as an excuse
To hide your insecurities, yes, I can see through you
You're a puppet being used by the devil; voodoo
I retain my elegance through all matters of situations;
You can't maintain your relevance stuck in the Devil's basement
'Tis a shame your negligence led to your last encasement
I wouldn't even use your sorry ass as entertainment!
Pardon me, but I find you less scary than your attacks
Just another crooked evil mobster that failed to adapt
The curtains fall on your performance and I bid you adieu
With a worse lyrical beating; that's a Knockout for you

Dice:
Didn't you hear my song? You best not mess with me.
You don't deserve a castle, moreso a penitentiary
With that ugly mug, you sure know how to waste a hand
No wonder your fandom thinks you're the gayest in the land!
Used to blunt force trauma, so I'll hit ya with these bars
With a name like Celeste, ya must be used to seeing stars!
Now stuck inside a horrid place, wishin' away for freedom
While Mr. Dice is loaded with the stacks of cash you dream of

Celeste:
I don't trade deals with swine, you belligerent fool!
Think you're all high and mighty, but just used as a tool
It's ironic Hifumi's a better servant than your minions
You're not even worthy to work within my dominion!
Your plot leaves heads rolling and that doesn't entice 
When you’ve got a head yourself made of literal dice!
I'll erase the face of this disgrace with horrid luck, too
So I shall make my exit; final words? Fuck you.

Dice:
See, I'm actually royalty, they think you're a queen?
Another sinner at my doorstep that I'll stomp out with ease
You can't deceive me, believe me, with all your fake lies
This two-face just put a new meaning into snake eyes!

Celestia Ludenberg vs King Dice - Rap Cypher #17

So, as my way of saying thankyou for all the views and support, I decided to post a second battle this month! A battle about family. And love. And......kicking ass? I don't know. Either way, thank you for everything that you've done. You guys make this possible.


Hank Voiced By Raichous
Red Voiced By Raichous
Thumbnail By SPM1000

BEAT: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzu_95-l6DY


Red:(Spoken) My foot is about to write a rap for your ass

Red: The US vet against redneck Ted Cruz
With the can-do of the Red White and Blue, I can’t lose
Maybe get Boomhauser to help ya spit fast
You sell grill fuel because you’re full of hot gas!
Now I won’t sugar coat how I feel about Bobby
The way you raise your son, he’ll turn out to be a commie!
Your animation’s sloppy, you can’t draw out a diss
Judging by your rifle skills, all your shots are gonna miss
I was pulling in laughs, as the grumpy pop
You dragged behind Macfarlene then Fox let you drop!
But I’ll give you a shot, even though I’ll still beat ya
Chance of you winning is as narrow as your urethra
Your problems with Cotton? They're clearly in view
But this is not the first time a Dad’s had issues with you!
You must be on “fish bait” if you think you’ll last
So let’s see you try and rap back, dumbass!

Hank:

God dammit Bobby! What is that racket?
I’m not really thinking Egghead is gonna crack it.
Attacking the mack daddy from Heimlich? Insane!
I’m an expert at ass-kicking. Call that pro pain
Judging how I’m gonna raise my kid ain’t smart
Your boy’s gonna grow up with Venom in his heart
You’re a tasteless racist caricature with a complex
Looks like the Navy man swabbed off his “Top Deck”
You wanna lay a hand on your son? You’re a coward
Having to bully teens just to feel a little power
Anybody coming to you for tips must be crazy.
Maybe you should take advice on how to treat your lady!
What amazes me, despite how you love competing
The cast from your reboot has a better chance at beating me!
You call yourself a man? Can’t fool me in a fight
Red needs to get checked, that boy ain’t right

Red:

Saying I’m not right? Don’t make me laugh!
I’ll give you an adult sized boot in the ass!
This sheepish weak fisted wimp ain’t raw
When the only reaction he has is “Bwaah”!
Still can’t poop? Because you’re so full of crap
So dull on the track, you need your grill for hot raps!
Try to fix your verse, but it’s all in vain
You dropped the ball even harder than your wife off a plane!

Hank:

I think Dale would’ve made more sense with rhymes
You must've sat in  "The Circle" ‘fore spitting a line!
You never really think before going off with hasty words.
Red’s such a dog, he should face Ladybird!
And try to talk shop about my kin? Just can it.
You’re picking favorites in the family dynamic!
I’ve had it with this asshole, you need to shut up.
Did the King of the Hill keep his crown? Yup.

Red Forman Vs. Hank Hill - Jenni's Jammin' Battles

Chao as Red Bull
ENNWAY as Monster Energy
Dilly as G-Fuel
Zagranis as Bang Energy (cameo)

Beat, mix, thumbnail by ENNWAY
Written by ENNWAY and Dilly

Red Bull:
Red Bull gives you wiiiiings

Monster Energy:
SHUT THE FUCK UP WHO CARES
FUCK OFF GOD I AM TIRED OF YOU TOUCH GRASS

Red Bull:
That's it! This drink's about to fire shots off
12 ounces and I still blow you out the water!
When I rock the mic, I'm liked by every damn critic
You're enjoyed by any boomer with a penny to split with
So fuck wings! How 'bout you get some bitches? (HUH)
Every flavor that you have is always mid shit (HUH)
Yeah, I don't need any fancy artists or design
To put the picture in your head I'm winning every single time

Monster Energy:
Bout to drop a mad verse on this lame ass
(AY AY) WHEN IT COMES TO BEATS I'M THE APEX
AND I'M PRACTICALLY A FUCKIN’ MONOPOLY, COULDN'T YOU SEE?
LOVIN' THESE BEATS, MY BRAND IS A MONEY MACHINE (AYYY)
TALKING BOOMERS WHEN YOU'RE LITERALLY THE BOOMER OF OUR BRANDS
SO GO CATCH SOME BETTER ADS OR YOU'RE CATCHIN' UP THESE HANDS
YOU GOT ZERO FUCKING CASH, 'CAUSE THIS CAN IS MADDER
YOU SHOULD LEAVE THIS BATTLE 'CAUSE I'M CRANKING OUT THAT BANGER AFTER BANGER

Bang Energy:
Did somebody say bang?

Monster Energy:
I BANGED YOUR MOM *SHOOTS BANG ENERGY*

Red Bull:
That verse was a good tip on how your offbrands left the market
Saturated with zero spots left to get some thought in so stop it
You claim a monopoly but you're not bitch, I see through ya
Left our market overblown like COCA COLA ESPUMA
You missed the mark like your Ultra Gold and Java
You've had no legs to stand on since you sold juice products!
This brand bully's bout to land fully in a ditch
I'm soaring high above you... Red Bull gives you wiiiii-

Monster Energy:
BITCH SHUT THE HELL UP, GOD, I'M TIRED OF YOUR BULLSHIT SO
I'LL KICK YOUR ASS FASTER THAN I BOOTED BANG OUT OF BRITAIN
YOU SAY YOU GOT PEOPLE HOOKED ON THAT FUCKING GASOLINE BRO?
I'LL LEAVE YOUR STYLE AND BRAND CRUSHED LIKE A CAN ON THE ROAD
I GOT THE STAMINA, (YUH) LYRIC SLAMMIN' YA (YUH)
YOU'VE BEEN BELOW ME SINCE THE DAYS OF HANSEN NATURAL!
I'M DONE WITH THIS VERSE AND THIS ASS IS DEFEATED
HERE'S MY NEW FLAVOR: YOU CAN SUCK MY ULTRA PENIS

G-Fuel:
G-Fuel is entering the party now to shake it up
Against the two blandest of flavors, I just cannot make it up
So I suggest you brace yourselves, I'm going for the throat
And droppin a variety pack of bars cause I'm the goat
I went from online to making the stores mine
How you offer sweepstakes but not fire in your lines?
You prove it with every rhyme, you can't mix it up like I do
… That also goes for your buddy on the side too
When I start a partnership I crank it to 11
You start up a partnership to shill in Ninja Tyler Blevins
Now I'm sending y'all to heaven, you weak drinks can eat my dust
Turned you both to powder, I guess that makes three of us

Monster Energy vs Red Bull. R∆P BATTLE!

No, not Dream SMP.

Trakked as This Man
SimplyRazzy as Grey Man
Beat produced by Ear2ThaBeat
Written by Trakked, DCA, Nooby and 01Tyler10
Additional help by JenniNoMRC and M&Mattie
Chiseled by Jofinity and Danii
Mixed by ENNWAY
Special effects added in by Trakked
Thumbnail by Rabi
Art by 01Tyler10

Battle:

This Man: 
Hello, Grey Man. I suggest you stop treading 
There’s no good ending wherever you’re heading
Been here since ‘06, I’m a legend on the net
You’re a relic on consoles that they all seem to forget
Ever Dream of me? Let’s go behind the scenes
And see a cracked mind, broken by LSD
I'm seen by thousands on a day-to-day basis
You only show up to one; no wonder you're faceless
It's a dream imitation. We’ve no relation
You’re a basic emulator only sold on Playstation.
I’ve no containment, while you’re stuck in bad trips
I’m ancient, this cartridge’s getting sent back to the attic
I'm a worldwide phenomenon, you're stuck in Japan
Got a half-assed game and you're half of a man
So what does that make you? Is this a breakthrough?
They think you're a rapist, they don't want to face you 

Grey Man:
Was that a Downer verse? It didn’t hurt me.
Doesn’t take a therapist to know your verse was murky
You claim to be a cog in a clockwork machine,
But realize you’re part of a marketing scheme
I spit cyphers like Diphen, prepare for a mindfuck
I shine bright like fire so best keep your eyes shut
You rip open animals, blame it on children,
Bring him to madness and claim I'm the villain?
Run backwards, but I’m always here to watch ya
Tearing your memories while I gobble creepypasta
Peeping Tom’s already gone, and his story’s dismembered
But your shitty manga? I don’t want to remember.
This district’s so violent, I’ll leave you in silence 
While my game is timeless, You’ve lost your prime, kid 
The people who’ve dreamed of me, only wish they were sober 
So when you see my presence, know that it's all over.

This Man:
Appear all you want; I'd rather block you from my mind
Bombed hard on the track; call you Spy vs Spy
Looking at your script, your coding could use a rewrite
I got an A+ verse, yours was more of a B-type
I give people happy feelings, you give doses of despair
But a year of your game? That’s a neverending nightmare  
You've already lost, so drop the facade
You claim you're a demon? Then bow to your god.

Grey Man:
The dreamscape is mine to command; I’m confining This Man
And I’ll grind you to strands, you’ll find that you’re damned
So why do you try? You’re so black and white,
I’m spitting bright rainbows, a psychedelic sight
I’m a subconscious monster, you’re more of a myth
This mortal is stuck in a moral abyss 
So when I pop this pill and destroy your existence,
The wet dream you have will be much much different.

SCP-990 (Dream Man):
You’re led to believe it’s a win you’re receiving,
But it’d be too easy to say that you’re dreaming.
I've no true form, but your costumes are laughable 
With Grey's deja vu form never surpassing passable 
It doesn't take a future vision to know your raps were disasters
Leaving wars Cold, more old than the skill I've mastered
You’re both seen as antagonistic, giving others fear,
So why not take my hand? I’m not the bad guy here.
A guise filled with lies, more anonymous than your lettering
You want some bars to munch on? Suppose I’ll do the Keter-ing.
Make no mistake; I’ll break your fake X-Files
I’d rather not partake in a screaming match with you exiles
And as I sit on this bench, watching this match from the sidelines,
I chuckle to myself as you both stay in the limelight
So repent for your mistakes; either way you're sure to fall
See the light 'fore it's too late; this is your wake-up call.

(RNG as SCP 990
Beat produced by hala-X)

Grey Man vs This Man - Rap Cypher #20

Sheldon Voiced By Matt Raichous
Spencer Voiced By  RaccoonBroVA
Thumbnail By Oofie
Mixed By Matt Raichous
Written By Jenni No Mercy
Additional Help By Cri and Anthony Rigatanthoni


BEAT: Old School Slim Shady Type Beat / Weird Funny Hip Hop Rap Beat "Kiss My Ass" Prod. ILL Fortune





Sheldon:

Leonard! Did you call the FBI?
Looks like Quantico sent the OCD P.I.
I would be impressed by your skills on the street
But they won’t help you find how I kill the beat(Bazinga)
I got lyrical theory, scientifically I’m superior
Check the Emmys I got, your show is just inferior
You were growing up delirious, a schizophrenic time bomb
Show was such a bygone, it’s being preached by my mom
You use science as a gimmick
For the magic that you use to fail to pick up women
And It should be a given, getting the fans adoring
But somehow you can make chasing criminals boring
You think I’m jealous, you captured tons of felons?
While I’m still here pulling crowds as Young Sheldon
But I should probably tell him in this match, I got this
My raps are so addicting, you can call them dilaudid.

Spencer:

Hotch? Rossi? This doesn’t seem right.
The MO of our guy says he doesn’t like to fight
But he’s actually here. Trying to get me riled
You wanna play games? Let’s start the profile
A wordy nerd pushing up into his 30s
Ego makes him think he’s worthy, but in truth he’s undeserving
Of a flurry of appraisal his fans just overused
Like the laugh track you abuse to tell them they’re amused!
For us geeks, friends are hard to find.
Which is why it’s baffling you insult yours all the time
I was tortured and shot, needing a cane to walk
But that wasn’t as painful as listening to you talk
Thinking you’re the Apex human is confusing
I drop bombs like Garner, you got twice his delusions!
I push passed my fears, you run away when you’re frightened
You’re Friends with Flags? Time to throw up the white one

Sheldon:

Sorry Reid, I’m disproving your theory
Think you make an impact, let’s look back at our series
(Heh heh) In less time I was made into an icon
Comedy even tighter than the sweater vests you try on
Tried proving your tough, but not effective
When your whole crew treats you like the junior detective
You strive to find happiness just to watch it all end
Left a hole in your heart and your dead girlfriend

Spencer:

You can claim that my life is a tragedy
But really if you ask me, the only thing that’s sad to see
Is you actually convince some lonely girl to marry you
Surprised you didn’t flee, Smarter guys are always scaring you!
And you’ll need more than catchphrases to faze me
It’s crazy they let your show’s writing be lazy
So as you fame fades, there’s no point in faking it
This win isn’t your spot, ‘cause I’m the one taking it

Sheldon Cooper Vs. Spencer Reid - Jenni's Jammin' Battles

Catch Me On My Metal Freestyle

[HAPPY RAP BATTLE DAY!!]

Vladimyr P. as Phone Guy
Michael / Stark Media as Ghostface

*Phone Rings*

WELCOME TO A SINISTER RAP BATTLE
PHONE GUY
AGAINST
GHOSTFACE
BEGIN

Phone Guy:
Hello? Hello? I’m just here to spit a message
I Wes Craven a real fight but my words will cause quite the wreckage
And If you decide to stay on the line, I wanna hear you spit a good diss
Otherwise; you can make like your colorful counterpart and Munch on this

Billy Loomis:
This Deuteragonist’s Entertainment’s shit but a good diss is what you reckoned for?
You seem to have choked so I’ll put you on hold cuz in seconds I’d be deafened; sore
I’m Looming and assuming this automation only be spitting fill-uh
Imma Killer, pullin the trigger, but in rap I’m the Ghostface Killah!

Phone Guy:
The only thing you’re pulling the trigger on is your very poor career choice
Cuz I..dent-ify this Billy Guy who never in his life been shown rejoice

Ghostface:
When I step into your office, never knowing who it is, Scott the Phone Guy is prone to die
Cawthon will be coughing when I lay you in a coffin with your family life forever gone awry

Phone Guy:
You wanna talk about my family life? Well, here’s a tip
Don’t go around Stab-bing people if all you’re gonna do is trip
Better Dial up some better disses, but if you’re wanting a silent dispute
You’d be losing this bout, nothing’ta worry about, so I’ll put contact with you on mute
Your life is on the line, so it’s best that you skedaddle
(beat stops)

Ghostface:
(Beep, Beep, Beep) ..Do you like Horror Rap Battles?
Cuz I’ll make this one appealing and Hang you Up on the ceiling
And after this verbal beating you will need some mental healing
Just based on your raps, I would have guessed when it comes to flames you are not a sparker
But when I’m on your chest, it’s cardiac arrest, turning these 50 shades of purple darker

Purple Guy:
You would be the one to Wood-burrow emotions, behind that mask of anger: You’re hurt.
Try to hang me on the ceiling ..if you don’t trip on it first
You’re not the only thing getting Pres-caught; you hide behind your feels!
I mean, your life is not a movie, but every bar I spit is real!
Call me Springtrap when I bring raps as sharp as the locks when I’m spitting gold
But the color of kings met a broken throne, so finally a felon is overthrown
And for 30 years, I was broken alone; verbally murdering you on this Mike (mic)
And when a child like you doesn’t act right they’ll have to face with the Purple Guy

Ghostface:
This clown’s held up in the circus, this Ring Master fucks with your circuitry
With no cords attached, I’ll leave you dispatched, this Puppet’s pulling the strings
You should Banana Split with your Blumhouse bullshit, there is no SAVING THE
FNAF Franchise with your shit, unscary movie!
I wouldn’t wanna cuff this Furry, when ‘83 was enough to leave you chewed
Welcome to Kinksville, Afton! Population: you!
Your rhymes were commercial yet controversial, be careful what you hurdle cuz you were never scary
In the Shadow of Freddy, I’ll leave you Withered, another shade of purple if you try to come at me
PG’s rating is obvious, but I’ll do my best to make this battle R
Now I’ll slice through this Guard to give Security Scars
(Heh) You were quite the tough bean, but that wasn’t enough to beat me
Now you’ve faced with Father Death and I’ve made you both SCREAM

Purple Guy:
That jumpscare was pathetic; I’ll dismantle you regardless
You didn’t do Fantastic Fac-ing me, since you were left guard-less
There’s no rebooting your movies when MTV left you out to dry like Steve’s guts
I would come back any day to leave this Director Cut

WHO MURDERED THE MIC?
COMMENT THE WAIVER BELOW
RETURN TO THE DEPTHS OF HELL
FOR ANOTHER
SINISTER RAP (Hangs up)


John P. as Purple Guy


Writers: Vlad, Michael / Stark Media, and Eric the Audible
Beat Producer: Beatg33kz
Mixer / Effects: Vlad and Michael / Start Media
Cover Art Made by Michael / Stark Media

Phone Guy (Five Night's at Freddy's) vs Ghostface (Scream). Sinister Rap Battles

Phone Guy (Five Nights at Freddy's) vs Ghostface (Scream). Sinister Rap Battles

King Mewtwo as Alex Delarge (voice)
CallMeCri as Alex Delarge (video)
Fightmarker as Ticci Toby (voice)
Froggy as Ticci Toby (thumbnail only)
Beat by 2Deep
Writing: Fightmarker
TN: Fightmarker
Additional Help: GamingPlush64
Mixing: Light

Alex Delarge
There was me, glazing upon this hopeless mistake
Even at home he couldn’t escape the bullying against his traits 
Sister was the only person you could confined in, but then her auto crashed
Now you’re left with a mum who doesn’t love you, and an alcoholic dad
I’m no delusion nor a voice in your gulliver, Toby 
Viddy me causing ultraviolence as I break into your domy
beaten homeless who go blurp blurp, but you’re going w-w-when you talk, turp
It’ll just be the second time you’ve been broken by Clockwork 
Teenage gangs are something I don’t take very lightly 
So make like your fingers Rogers, and bite me
You’re already quite fragile, at this point why even bother
When my words are enough to stop Ticci Toby’s tick tocker 

Ticci Toby:
I’m starting to realize how you got outplayed by people so dumb
Because your insults wouldn’t affect me even if I wasn’t numb
And honestly I could of only imagined what your family felt 
But it seems no one was crying over this spilled milk 
I’m mad pissed Alex, to me you lived in a palace 
mind corrupted with malice, and thought with your phallus
Two loving parents? I can only wish that I had it
Let’s see how wasteful this disgrace is when he’s at the end of my hatchets
you’re in the past dude, your group of buddies bashed you
It happened but didn’t have to if you hadn’t went for the dick statue
One read through your novel it’s clear who’s the strangest 
How is anyone supposed to identify with a child rapist 

Alex Delarge
Cat’s got your tongue, bastard? Or cheek rather
Polly loggy, it’s a fanfiction proxy against the droog’s master 
Kubrick broke cinematic grounds with such a low budget
While your medium would better off if you just snuffed it
Cause they treat this kid like a joke, made him out to be annoying
Had small fame but it quickly smoked, oh quite disappointing 
Came from a poor man’s 4Chan, abandoned by your hornet brothers
And now your creator doesn’t even want you, reminds me of your mother

Ticci Toby
Saw treatment as a way to be free, then lost all your hope
When they got your eyes lid-locked, gave you a real horrorshow
I don’t have pity for your abusing ass, I’ve gone through this type of shit
Ends with the Rain will still being there, but you’ll have no pipes left to Sing with
You’re not special, I’ll leave you and your whole dirty crew as nothing but corpses
Surprised this Ticci kid can better spit, causing flames upon my forest 
This verse will trigger you like the Ninth, remember as I feast on my lunch
Screams of agony filled the room, but they all didn’t care that fucking much

Ticci Toby vs Alex Delarge. rap battle. by fightmarker.

Hello and Happy New Year! We’re gonna kick Gridline off with a smooth banger to start the year! Today we have legendary British graffiti artist, Banksy, against children's book hide-and-seek extraordinaire, Waldo! Enjoy!

CAST:
King Mewtwo as Banksy
Zawesome as Waldo

LYRICS:
BANKSY:
Throughout my life I was branded a valueless mope
Who vandalized public property, but There was Always Hope
You think that legality would stop me from making art? Nah
Look, I'm putting up a fight while you're running from your Odlaw
Seemed devoted to Wilma, then you went ahead and ditched her
Cos the friendly thirtysomething preferred her twin sister
Here’s the elephant in the room, you’re not the only one of you
You were in the back of Martin’s mind when he was coming up with you
When I slip in a crowd, no one spots me when they pass
Yet the whole world recognizes your candy cane looking ass
Artisitcally anonymous, I’ll beat you with your walking stick
After I go to drop a diss, they’ll really ask where Wally is

WALDO:
You can find me napping when you spit a diss so bland
That verse left me more bemused than a trip to Dismaland
I’m gonna beat this bummy black sheep so Banksy better step backsies
Because I get my lines from the Land of Nasty Nasties
I think you've done enough huffing of your "artsy" wall splats
You try to call them meaningful, but I think I can smell a rat
I keep eyes glued to pages just from staying well-hidden
And just when you think that you might’ve found me, you didn’t
When you were playing hide and seek, I was setting the standard
You need some help on the mic, I’ll lend you a Handford
You’re an overrated runt whose work is overly blunt
With a hollow phony front, a walking publicity stunt

BANKSY:
You could be alone on a page and still get ignored
‘Cause after your reboot, no one wants to find you anymore
I’m nameless and faceless and gained more traction than this git got
You’re a novelty, Wally. Why don’t you Exit Through the Gift Shop?

WALDO:
Is your face a Picasso? Cos I’ve never seen this man
I’ve seen more quality vandalism when it came from Penis Man
You used to have crowds flood into the cities that your work was in
But any love they may have had for you is now in the bin

Beat By: InsaneBeatz
Mixed By: Freshy Kanal
Cover By: Commander Jacob

Waldo vs Banksy| GridLine Rap Battles Season 2

I'm the hologram who does what he pleases, whether it be rap battles, covers, or just anything.

I also drew mah profile pic. :)

Epic Rap Battles of Nostalgic is an Epic Rap Battles of History style rap battle series with the focus of using nostalgic fictional characters.

Series run by Matt Raichous

J. Jonah Jameson Vs Alex Jones ❰Rap Battle❱

Greg (Skitzy)

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