this was supposed to be a 1 hour challenge (blame chandler nooby and cri) but no apparently it took a week for this to exist

as a great man once said "BUT WHATS THE CONCEPT OF DEEZ TO BEGIN WITH?"

fuck it

beat by Allrounda 


Nuts:
Stepping to nuts will be your biggest regret
I'll burn you so hard it'll be this memes 4th death
Oughtta thank J D for making you funny 
And not annoying like (allrounda beats)
Yeah i left the tag in for a reason
Lock me away for committing rap battle treason
Though I'll be behind less bars than there are in my verse please!
You’ll come last place here like in 2016!
think you can hurt me, can't even handle me
You’re wins a fallacy, a rap battle tragedy
You came in here, thought you could win this fight, no that's not quite right
 Cause you haven't dropped your balls but now i'll drop the mic

Deez: 
It’s sad to see mr B step to the most famous meme
Cause when i step into a room its like “OMG IS THAT VLADDY DADDY
Cause I epicly own noobs like GADEEEEE
Once this battle is done you can suck on Deez!
Man fuck this cuck shmuck ill leave him torn up
Especially when you arent even part of a balanced fucking breakfast
So it's really no wonder you're coming in dead last
Cause first comes Deez then comes Nuts
After time i rose again while your use in language is fallin
He calls himself nuts but he’ll never be ballin
But, now i'm tired of you, so I'll be ending this
So get off your ass bitch and SALUTE THE PRESIDENT

Deez Vs Nuts (dont take this serious)



King Mewtwo as Postman Pat

RaccoonBroVA As the Unabomber

Beat by: Dansonn

Written by: RNG
Help from: King Mewtwo and Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Mixed by: Zagranis



Pat: (0:22)
It's not a great day in Greendale with Theodore John Kazynski 
I’m the master of the mail I’ll be delivering disses see?
I got a black and white cat, you're just a black sheep
The UNA-BUM of the Freedom Club can't best me
Your brain got twisted by 3 years of torture
When you got sick as a kid it messed you up even more so
If being sick was the cause of all your bombing murder sprees
What makes you think trying to spit sick won't also bomb verbally?
I run my rounds on this beat it's not my tires that are poppin
Cause on the microphone i'm a Greendale Rocket
With a diss on flow 
there's an L through your door, and this one wont blow 

Ted: (0:55)
Wait, who is this, some british bitch made for kids?
Theres nothing fucking to him how am i supposed to diss
Oh well i guess for killing a beat i'll take another guilty plea
Cause for a postman you have terrible delivery
You embody the thing that I hate the most Pat
Mindless nothing of a children's show Pat
Tech filled entertainment taking meaning from life
With fake “education” slowly melting away minds
Then you were made worse when you became CGI    
I'm not surprised computers took away any of your life
Yet it seems you’re out of date most people leave you forgot
Even I’ve been alive years after your show’s motion stopped

Pat: (1:28)
Ted that wasn't very nice, but I’m not talking about your crimes
When You’ve not had 16 lines but you bombed 16 times
I'm doing my dream job while you just dropped from yours
I provide for my family while you leeched off of yours
I teach kids lessons in being kind and growing up
You teach people horrid lessons by blowing them up
I diss sharp on a track that i run like my van
Movement ended by your brother, should be used to backstabs

Ted: (1:50)
A Clifftons loss usually upsets me but not when
you clowned with Ted like you had to make cash for your execs 
You talk of my family and how "backstabbing brought my end"
But you gave a ginger kid to one of your blonde friends
And you wish to diss my methods of saving humanity 
When you do nothing for the world mindlessly sitting there happily
Watching an episode of yours is an insanity plea
But we’re done here i want back in my cell for some peace



The Unabomber vs Postman Pat - RNG Rap Battle

RNG as SCP 990 and This Man (audio)
Written by RNG 
Mixed by Jort
Beat: Luxury by Tristan
Thumbnail and cover art by: Oofie

This Man: (0:12)
I’m put against an SCP? Who isn’t 173?
I’ll still take wins and sweep stolen shtick Dicks off the beat
Your story’s so boring, you’ve done half of my job for me
Putting everyone who reads your wiki page instantly to sleep!
I’m the GOAT! I flow like a knife to the throat
And I won't let go till you’re bleeding in the snow
You can't run, you can't hide, after this incident on the mic
Cause I'll always be there watching you for the rest of your life

SCP 990: (0:39)
I wasn't aware there were insults in the shit that you spewed
And I believe a person has the right to be called what they choose
Yet you think calling me Dick is something to lay into
When it’s pretty clear the real dick-head here is you
Creep who kills in dreams? I can’t believe it’s not Freddy
Although he does spill blood while you just leave pissed on bed sheets
You aren't ready for the bombs that will leave no one (no one!)
So when starting verbal wars expect a Cold one (cold one!)
98 percent of all humans burnt to a crisp
An apollyonic apocalypse, it’s impossible to stop it
This future contains This Man, lost in a sea of flame
Because on this microphone the Keter class is uncontained!

This Man: (1:18)
Uncontained? I cross continents every day to bring a person hell
While you only show yourself to the foundation’s personnel
So in the nets hall of fame i'll stay, while you’re forgotten day by day
You don't even have fame to decay, you never went Viral K anyway!
The only ones who’d care if this SCP was wiped from history
Are degenerate Redditor fedora wearers who scream “ACKSHUALLY”
There's no point in continuing, this head already wears the crown
So I’m done with this battle, another bitch put down

SCP 990: (1:45)
Taking shots at my following? As if yours aren’t twice as bad, please
Your Files got X'd out by fucking 4Chan and Assme
You only fuck with kiddie dreams so I’ll take pleasure in making this pedo scream
So that no amount of calls can wake up one permanently put to sleep

This Man vs SCP 990 Rap Battle!

Which crazed fan has the best pen game? today we find out!

RNG as Stan

Jessebox as Anne

Written by: ThatOneDude1509

Mixed by: LightIWNL

Beat by: 2Deep

LYRICS:

[Stan] (0:11)
Dear Annie, I wrote you but you still ain’t callin
With that gut, looks like white’s the only castle that you’re rockin 
But I’m Joshin, I even got a poster on my wall pinned
Up of your movie, it’s almost as tearable as your plot is! 
Written letters from our idols got both of us into messes
But at least mine didn’t use his own writing to bash my head in
My idols still in his prime while yours is old and defenseless 
Lose sleep over someone your age, what is this young and the restless? (Oh)
Your crooked like italics but to off your idols bold 
Cause the only tragic endings are the ones your author wrote
Anyways, I hope you get this back, opposite your fans
Hit me back, just to chat, Sincerely yours, this is Stan 

[Annie Wilkes] (0:46)
You've fallen flat Stanley, (Uh) I’m crushing you with words
Cause I’m bored after sitting through that cockadoodie verse
Everything you boast about I was the one to do it first
Car crashes and child murder? hereditary but worse! (Ahh)
Drive your wife over the edge leaving her and you to die
The worst accident to take place on a bridge since PewDiePie 
Saying I’m the bad guy? Even Billie Eilish thinks you’re psycho!
Sleeping with unconscious minors and blaming your idol 
And killing your own wife while pregnant with your child 
A worse murder suicide than when Shady dropped Revival!
Try following the footsteps of a Rap God and get wrapped up
You’re a fake, can the real Slim Shady please stand up? (Ohhh)

[Stan]
This ratched nurse should study Dre, if she wants to be the best
‘Least when I get Paul on the line it’s not with the EMS
Your fantasies are pretend like airplanes in the night sky
And yet you still managed a worse love story than Twilight!
When it comes to bitches with mallets, even Harley’s less crazy
Thinking my ass is grass? Your lawnmowers hardly graze me
And I don’t have to be Shady to leave you outshadowed
So underground no wonder you hit the mantle (Woo)

[Annie Wilkes]
And this is from the guy whose name was soiled by dumb children (Huh?)
Thinking it’s a dido, no! You're a looser cannon than Nick is!
Spewing so much cap, Em would sign you for a daughter 
You’re a starter, man even your censored version hits harder!
Got a blondie in a killshot when he meets my colt cobra
The tea may have gone cold, but the beef is just not over
So I’ll toss ya’ the quill as a testament to your skill
You can write your final letters as part of your last will!

Anne Wilkes vs Stan - RNG Rap Battles

RNG As Ryoma Hoshi

AdamDRB as Ben Shapiro

Beat: Payback by Dave James of Audio Network

Mixed by: Danii

Written by: RNG

Ben:(0:11)
This week I was called to battle the former ultimate tennis pro
who doesn't know that I was built by stating facts into a microphone
So today he’s getting owned and as this smackdown's host
Welcome I’m Ben Shapiro and this is the Ben Shapiro show
Say theoretically you were even a small threat to me
Sure youre a serial killer but with no stepstool you cant get to me
The last time you won anything it ended with bullets in your family
Your games corrupt the innocence of youth that you never got to see
Getting banned in Korea's one of the best things the east got right
Violence killing and icest should have no chance in the spotlight
You know i'm rapping toxic simply stating facts and logic 
You’ll get dropped kid like your bod did
You only hit net, losses!

Ryoma:(0:50)
It's not like i was expecting some sort of family visit
But who's this? The tragic backstory of Disney's saddest villain?
I dont think ultimate faux intellectual's a real talent
So are you here cause you finally decided to learn how to can it
I must be lifes punching bag cause when you throw shots i bounce back
But nothings sadder than the fact that waps your better soundtrack
Mental gymnastics is the only way you'd be a gaming pro
but the balls in your court and you've still got a ways to go-

Ben:(1:17)
Please! I'm not really getting called the biggest dweeb
By the human embodiment of r/im14andthisisdeep
Cause In your sleeps the only time you'd have hope to win at all
So you are part of the woke mob, cause you're getting owned liberal!
No surprise you flow barebones you're just the shell of eminem
Your racket just aint ballin, so get carried by your friends again
You gotta score more than love in a scrum debate of flow game
Cause i bring the climate change, I'm melting this snowflake

Ryoma:(1:41)
Im not surprised you would be more boring in rap
You should have had lines written by your keyboard warrior gang 
Amazing how you said nothing even with all of that talking and
If your careers the topic then bud, you can call me Aquaman
Run to your wifes room and cry bout getting crushed by better men
that's probably the only time that you'd be why she's getting wet
Shingujis less sus bout his sister so bro you should give it up
Cause my truth bullet says it was your alt calling her a milk truck
I tower over you like Cruz so don't go dissing my height
Dont need shuichi to see the fact that he isnt 5'9
And in a back and forth game your odds come up shorter as well
(Heh) You should've known I'd break a corporate shell

RNG

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