King Mewtwo as Gordan Ramsey
Mancha as Jon Taffer
Written by Jenni No MRC
Mixed by Raichous
Thumbnail by Trakked
Beat By Audio Network
GR: Here's a stress test that you're probably not ready for
The Ugly American stepping up to a British Force
Hot rhymes in a kitchen might be a bit cliche
But you'd feel more at home at a shit buffet
This G ain't a laugher, Taffer. Get ready to draw!
For the first time Gordon’s gonna serve something raw!
It’s appalling that this fat cat’s gathered up a following
From taking my best shows and sprinkling alcoholics in!
Bollocks! The bloated walrus ain’t a real contender!
Dressed less for a bar, more for managing Brock Lesnar!
Not much of a defense, ya dense donut with no life
Separate ya from this battle! Call it your first wife!


JT: 30 years in the biz, but this is mental
They glued Ellen’s hair to an angry Ken Doll!
The end all culinary ass is the big star?
You know what? I’m going in! Let me show you some real bars!
Wanna call me a ripoff? Don't wanna hear it!
Who needs liquid Courage? Ramsey's got no Spirit
I’m stunning, coordinating, motivating, ass kicking
Last minute fixer upper, creating the Sunday ticket!
You’re a, spitfire. But I, spit fire!
Treat this battle like your soccer career, and just retire!
The Michilian Star man’s still digging for more clout
Keep this shit up, and I. Will. Walk. Out!

GR: My god! And I thought the Nightmares were in the Kitchen
But the real Hell is hearing the wannabe boss bitchin’
It’s ridiculous, you’re acting like the Bar Biz Hero
But you own as many bars as good disses: Zero!
While everyday I make bank! This donkey can’t harm me!
Got this battle on wrap: Like a Bouquet Garni!
And what I find alarming, you claim to be a guru
But you call in “experts” to do training for you!
Rubbish! Gone! Bland! Rancid!
Rotten! Tossed! Canned! Flaccid!
Your chances of winning, long gone like some lamb sauce!
Now do us both a favor, big boy. Fuck off!

JT: Oh wow! Big shock! The Brit’s getting pissed!
Used to serving up dishes, but ya can’t serve a diss!
I’ve dealt with deadlier shots at the Alibi!
This Investor’s Hungry, but you’re the small fry
I can rock the Vegas strip
You’ll rock the boat over bacon bits!
You say you’re not for the fame and shit, 
But that breath is being wasted.
For aimless tasteless cable Brit.
Face it, kid! You’re Shameless!
Not a free man, Gordon. You’re seeing stars
‘Cause even I couldn't Rescue your Bars….

Gordon Ramsey Vs. Jon Taffer Rap Battle

JustGamer as Toru Iwatani 
RaccoonBroVA as Alexey Pajitnov 
RNG as the Announcer

Written by Oofie, RNG, MaviKartal2003, Dilly, KCToons, Pixel Chris, and Chandler_CCRB
Additional writing help by: Shimario
Mixed and mastered by Oofie	
Beat produced by Anywaywell
Beat edited and re-arranged by Oofie
Tetris theme re-created by Evrywunzf8vrite
Pac-Man instruments by Oofie
Demo by Oofie
Cover art by Oofie
Produced by Oofie
Special thanks to Freshy Kanal, GlitchDude, and Snakebite126

Toru Iwatani 
Press start in a fight with Toru? I assure you, I made the scene
If you wanna give your 2 cents, slot them into my game machine
Trying to run tracks through writing, as if you're some Ridge Racer
But now you’re being written on, like it’s your parents’ divorce papers
Got launched from the Soviets, just another cash grab block game
Yet you lost the top Notch status with Mojang’s mojo drop, dang!
I've turned pizza to pie charts, while Ls you're known to drop 
Mounting this brawl will leave you a loss, along with your son off

Alexey Pajitnov 
Think you're gaming’s OG? I set the revolutionary high bars
You and I aren’t even close to each other, just like your eyes are
The wacka-wacka-wack raps you spat are just hard to swallow
With your ghoul fellows, it's no surprise you're see-through and hollow
Even my pieces aren’t as blocky as the CG in your show is, man
You got that inky blinky pengame, sounds like it was ghostwritten
Though gotta hand it to you for the most-slotted game, it's a true fact
But you'll flip birds when even your own creation wouldn't even love you back!

Toru Iwatani 
Break off your blocks like it’s Gee Bee, leave you more green than the GB 
From arcade machines to your TV. When it comes to gaming, I’m beastly!
You can’t compare to my legacy, spawned countless crowds, looked upon me
Spilling the T more than your parity, patching you off like your home country!
I’m blasting off like the cathedral; you'll see, Pajitnov, we’re not equals
I gotta Hatris off, your work’s lethal; with your tactless thoughts like Pokhilko
The Iwatani from the Atari; your recent games have been no fun
I’ve got 99 problems with Tetris but this bitch ain’t one!

Alexey Pajitnov 
I'll turn the page like your textbooks, now who are you trying to fool?
Dropped out of Namco to teach, yet couldn't drop lines to get me schooled
You've appealed to the female crowd, but nothing is worth to boast it
When a flick based on your Pixels leaves all the theatre rooms ghosted!
Get on my level, dude! 256 bars is not needed for me to crash you
This will be your second failed Ghost Adventure you cannot pass through!
Easily got your boat rocked; while myself have my champion ship docked
As you’ve received ass kickings I Packed, man, from Russia with love! (Ugh)

Alexey Pajitnov vs Toru Iwatani - Rap Clash!

Thumbnail created by: Fightmarker
Mixed by: Mint

Mint:
Your name’s Swoldow, you got that wild flow?
I’m about to kick your ASS, so try to stall bro
I've got 5 billion disses in store, I'll leave this bitch on the floor
Your mic is so bad that I (illegible)
Guess what? Your battles? They SUCK!
Your mother? POLITE! Your father? I FUCKED! (him)
Everything I'm spitting is just goated and based
You’re throwing this match like shitty roles all thrown in your face

Swoldow:
(Yuh) Putting this guy on my bitchlist
(Aye) Dude thinks his bars cool like mint chip
(Bruh) I gave your mother a kiss kiss
(SKRRT) Game and Watch make you sound dickless
Claiming that you based? Bro, you mad bluffin
So maybe get out of FL Studio and than go outside and do something
Call me Loco Rap Battles because I have the blicky
I spit tricky, and sick G, there's no way you can diss me
Why so pissy? I won as soon as I said I have a gun
I bet you like wWeezer and your favorite song is “Island In The Sun”

ENNWAY vs. Swoldow

RNG as SCP 990 and This Man (audio)
Written by RNG 
Mixed by Jort
Beat: Luxury by Tristan
Thumbnail and cover art by: Oofie

This Man: (0:12)
I’m put against an SCP? Who isn’t 173?
I’ll still take wins and sweep stolen shtick Dicks off the beat
Your story’s so boring, you’ve done half of my job for me
Putting everyone who reads your wiki page instantly to sleep!
I’m the GOAT! I flow like a knife to the throat
And I won't let go till you’re bleeding in the snow
You can't run, you can't hide, after this incident on the mic
Cause I'll always be there watching you for the rest of your life

SCP 990: (0:39)
I wasn't aware there were insults in the shit that you spewed
And I believe a person has the right to be called what they choose
Yet you think calling me Dick is something to lay into
When it’s pretty clear the real dick-head here is you
Creep who kills in dreams? I can’t believe it’s not Freddy
Although he does spill blood while you just leave pissed on bed sheets
You aren't ready for the bombs that will leave no one (no one!)
So when starting verbal wars expect a Cold one (cold one!)
98 percent of all humans burnt to a crisp
An apollyonic apocalypse, it’s impossible to stop it
This future contains This Man, lost in a sea of flame
Because on this microphone the Keter class is uncontained!

This Man: (1:18)
Uncontained? I cross continents every day to bring a person hell
While you only show yourself to the foundation’s personnel
So in the nets hall of fame i'll stay, while you’re forgotten day by day
You don't even have fame to decay, you never went Viral K anyway!
The only ones who’d care if this SCP was wiped from history
Are degenerate Redditor fedora wearers who scream “ACKSHUALLY”
There's no point in continuing, this head already wears the crown
So I’m done with this battle, another bitch put down

SCP 990: (1:45)
Taking shots at my following? As if yours aren’t twice as bad, please
Your Files got X'd out by fucking 4Chan and Assme
You only fuck with kiddie dreams so I’ll take pleasure in making this pedo scream
So that no amount of calls can wake up one permanently put to sleep

This Man vs SCP 990 Rap Battle!

Happy Holidays yo.

Written & edited by: CreeperPasta
Mixed by: Masteredit
Light as: Santa Claus
MetaMachine as: Melchior
SpideyFam as: Gaspar
ShadowZel as: Baltazar

Santa Claus: (0:24)
Ho Ho Ho! Now let's get down to business!
I checked once, I checked twice. You're all three on my diss list
Now tell me, you group of misfits;
What are you gonna do y'all three against the almighty Father Christmas?
I've faced many challenges, but… The Three Stooges from the Bible?
Even Pepsiman was a better choice of a rival
You should take out your texts to write these new holy verses
"Play nice before I spit facts like your god gave people curses."

Three Wise Kings: (0:48)
Dashing through the snow, on a one-horse open sleigh
Our journey was interrupted by a man with overweight
Between the trespassing and allegations, I can't tell which is worse
Put aside the cookies and milk; you're gonna eat those words.
We follow a path for our lord and saviour in need
You claim to be a saint, yet you use Christmas for your greed
Children have to be nice just for pieces of plastic? Come on!
I've seen better delivery from a drone of Amazon
God told us he ain't happy with that factory of yours
I'm pretty sure nothing jolly is happening behind closed doors.
We're royalty, yet humble. Only blessed by our lord
Your biggest act presence is a fat, sweaty guy at the mall
You fill children with expectation, then bring socks and Poly Station
If I see you near my home, I'mma call the police station
Our gifts have more value than anything you have at your store.
Gold! Incense! Myrrh! Now tell us, what have you brought?

Santa Claus: (1:37)
I have presents within me! I have cheer, I have toys! 
You only targeted a baby, I focus on all the girls and boys
I also have a gift for you, is a piece of my wisdom too:
Next time, you should choose better at what kind of king you should listen to.
(Singing) Santa Claus, on his sleigh! Jingle all the way!
I'm celebrated worldwide, you only have Spain! (Only Spain? Wow!)
Yes, and guess what? We're not so different after all
From the letters, cookies, milk, even the fat guys on the mall!
You do what I've been doing for years! Oh my heavens!
Mrs. Claus! Heat the oven! We're getting served sloppy seconds!
I can go to all people's homes in just a couple of hours
These wizards disappoint me. Minus 10 points for Hogwarts
You follow a shooting star? You should fly away like Rudolf
Because my Christmas cheer can sure beat any trick you pull off

Three Wise Kings: (2:25)
We follow a shooting star, yet your future ain't looking bright.
Jingle the bell twice if you think you're playing Walter White.
When it comes to bringing the heat, you should shut your mouth.
Down below your floors, the North Pole is heading South.
You don't seem to taste the feeling. This Coke product was watered down
Since when it comes to the poor, Santa ain't coming to their town
That said, we've had enough. Let's put an end to this fight.
We wish you all a Merry Christmas, and of course, a good night!

Santa Claus vs The Three Wise Kings - Rap Off!

Joe Voiced by Skitzy
Coyote Voiced by Tommy Salommy
Written by Jenni no Mercy
Mixed by Matt Raichous
Thumbnail by TheDangerStranger
Additional help by Skitzy

Beat: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhnRXkyXucA

Joe:

The first thing is, I’m not cutting you slack
I’m the Big Cat, getting Exotic on the track!
Dealt with giant tigers and I’m here to compete
Against the guy who got famous shoving limbs into croc teeth!
But talk is cheap, your channel’s time drew out.
Try measuring up, let’s check the view count.
14 million subs, you seem hard to beat
But Tiger King’s got 64 mil in their seats!
Was rocking the boat ‘fore Netflix was showing!
You got the Net fixing you up with Jeff and Conon!
My rhymes keep owning, you better just can it.
This’ll be as short-lived as you on Animal Planet!
Your fans flatter with patter but as a matter of fact
Your channel only attracts with those animal attacks!
Before you overreact, maybe hide in a Zoom call!
Your backers would love to watch a self hurting dude fall!

Coyote:

I’m Coyote Peterson, entering the strike zone
Wiley, throwing verbal stones in the fight zone
Might think I’m nervous, facing such an ugly thing
But despite urban myths, his bars don’t actually sting
I love nature, got the passion for the animals
With the way you treat the cats? I’d smack you in the mandible!
Barely understandable, no handle on your accent
Need a dating show to give your love life a last chance!
You’re on the fast track to straight being forgotten
With a personality like your tiger feed: rotten
Taught millions about the flora and fauna of every climate
Conquered the Cow Killer, I can crush a Tiger Tyrant!
Spitting venomous bars, like a black-necked cobra
You throw a hissy fit, like the pits in Manitoba!
Your mullet’s not your only thing that needs to be clipped
You want some deadly shots? Ask your hubby for tips

Joe:

Bringing up Travis? Now you've gone too far!
This battle wouldn’t make a footnote in my Memoir!
Leave ya like your namesake: defeated and flattened
When I commit verbal murder: Call me Carol Baskin!
Channel is just a has-been! Peterson can’t mask it!
Maybe get a dung beetle to carry your fucking casket!
Tired of this racket. Kiss my ass, bastard!
Got beef? I’ll give ya to the tigers in my backyard.

Coyote:

Still attacking me? Joey keeps on forgetting
Coyotes fight back when they’re cornered or threatened!
Sean Evans gave me hotter burns with a wing sauce
This is just another face off the Tiger King lost!
Now, mole rats are blind, but even they could tell
The only bars you’re packing are lining your prison cell!
This fight is over, Joe. I’ve tamed your lame style.
To the viewers at home. Be brave! Stay Wild!

Joe Exotic Vs. Coyote Peterson - Jenni's Jammin' Battles

Improved Audio

HyperJacob96 as Josuke Higashikata
Rabi as Shigeyo “Mob” Kageyama
Mixed by Oofie
Beat Produced by 2Deep
Thumbnail by Jordy
Special thanks to Violet/MetalFireVA

Josuke:
With the rhymes I spit and diamond fists
I'm not one to break easily
It'll seem unfair, you'll need repair
To even have a chance at beating me
"Your powers don't define you"
Your series is too damn preachy
But need I remind you
You're a twig sized like Koichi
Looking like a Beatle, guess that's why you wanna hold hands
But you know as well I that with Tsubomi you got no chance
Rather play poker with Rohan, but I'll give you an honest start
Though I've made this fight ugly, just like your comic's art

Mob:
Going for the low blows
Shouldn't play me for a weakling
Don't knock my message JoJo
You think it's all fixed with beatings
They may call me mob but my combat's more Bad Company
And I'm like Okuyasu's bro, when I decide to run the beat
Refused to kill your foes, my respect for you's enormous
But sadly it dipped, when it spread to your performance
With this first verse, my words burst
And my lines don't need flesh buds
You're not the first foe who's hair I've had to mess up

Josuke(angrily as the beat cuts):
What the fuck did you just say about my hair

Josuke:
Let's break you down beyond the surface you're on Hazamada's jock
Any attempt to calm me's worthless
Bowl cut thinks he can't be mocked
Everyone's afraid of you, if they know you at all
That's why only cults have faith in you, all I can say is LOL
Like a stolen lotto ticket, got this fight fixed in my favor
Your town is seasoning, and on your own you're lacking flavor
Say your powers make no difference? Without em you couldn't fight
Your master said it's fine to run, and that's his only good advice

Mob:
We lose control of our emotions, but how you feel isn't fair
Maybe you shouldn't fly off cause somebody brought up your hair
Being buds with Okuyasu won't give you the advantage
Of handwaving your problems and expecting that they vanish
You're just like me, you see your power's not what makes you great
If anger controls you, you'll soon be more like foes you hate
You've got wounds beyond what can be fixed by phony healing
But sometimes you need to be hurt to understand other's feelings

Mob Vs Josuke - Rap Battle

Your Favorite Planet (prod. Ihaksi)

feat. SimplyRazzy, swizkii, Michael Stark, Matthew Thomas

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1vLw1Ai5fdhz9V12Lxf6hbmZG9QpaCv1Md1jBVQ5m2C0/edit?usp=sharing

Your Favorite Planet (prod. Ihaksi)

Dr. Horrible Voiced By Spidey Fam
Dr. Frankenfurter Voiced By King Mewtwo
Written By Jenni No Mercy
Mixed By Serena
Thumbnail By Epic-ly Ironic
Additional Help By Skitzy and Matt Raichous

Beat: http://www.shadowville.com/audio//Shadowville.com%20-%20You%20A%20Clown.mp3

Dr. Horrible:

This appeared as a moral dilemma
Two docs battling to see who’s better
But whether it’s against Hammer or a creep
Horrible’s got a Phd at dropping beats
Now this weenie might think they’re the belle of the ball
Truth is they’re just a mix of Shelley and RuPaul
So I’ll watch a dude fall, it’s a Brand New Day
I’ll stop you in your tracks, like my raps are a freeze ray!
These days you’re still hung up on a break up
Until you get horny: We should call ya Dr. Strangelove
Choose to play god to help ya get to third base?
But science can’t help get your teeth back in your face!
I leave the city shaking when I’m aiming laser cannons
Your evil plans were doing drag shows with Brad and Janet
Forcing cannibalism? You’re a disgusting foe
But you in lingerie was the real Horror Picture Show

Dr. Frankenfurter:

Was that it? My god, darling. Your raps are a mockery
The only time you flow gold, is when you fail a robbery
You’re boring me, there’s no defense against this Creature of the Night
Got so many horrid words for me, but I’m just a sweet Transvestite!
Like lightning, I’ll shock ya when the beat hits
You’re only a big shot when in a dream sequence
Claim you’re smarter, but each one of your machines blow
So I’ll pick this beef apart like it’s Meatloaf!
You whining to the camera got fans in an odd way
But your mini series couldn’t step to me on Broadway!
Getting nailed by Hammer, your life is a laugh
You’re the biggest freak to try to serve me since Riff Raff!
Like a van dash, you’re about to crash
Try to rap back when I split your ass into three acts!
And sure you’ve got your League seat, but there’s no envy
Able to steal millions; but couldn’t save a Penny

Dr. Horrible:

Go ahead and laugh. Yeah I’m funny guy
But that smile gets wiped when ya find that you’re gonna die
Your servants rose up, talk about cliche
Your style’s more washed up than laundry day!
I’m the peak of villainy, there’s no way to top me
You’re so pathetic, could get a better foe from Rocky!
The nightmare is real, I’m a lyrical king!
But even when you lose, I won’t feel a thing

Dr. Frankenfurter:

Billy! Don’t be silly! You’re really not being rational
You only took over the world, when your crush got took out by shrapnel!
Let’s do the Time Warp and take a look at your conception
The result of no budget and a strike’s intervention!
And even though originality was your only intention
There’s a certain Doctor Steel that probably would want a mention
Tried to save face and win this race but sadly just took a beating
You’re an insect and a massive waste of time, space, and meaning

Dr. Horrible Vs Dr. Frankenfurter - Jenni's Jammin' Battles

Snakebite126 as Flowey
Quizzique as Marx
Written by Triple-Stabber
Chiseled by Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Mixed by jort
Beat by Kustom
Cover art by M!CAH
Art by M&Matt

Flowey:
Howdy clownie, I am Flowey, wow you found me down the underground and
Golly! How about we lounge around the town and now we
Will become the best of friends
And something you should know of
That my lines are made with love
So you better - run into em!
Gee! It's quite funny that a jester can't stand up
Rolling on a ball, but you can't hop on this track, bud
You were blown up in a supernova
Future shows this useless foe was thrown 
and dude your owners used your trope for Magalor, stupid joker, 
I refuse to go and fuse with your Soul!

Marx:
Hey hey hey Kirby, look a flower's out and about
Devour him but I doubt you'd gain powers, so I'mma just out em without a plough
Just look at this plant, your roots' in the grass, you can't run the underground
I'd throw shade but I'll just wait til you wilt when the sun goes down
Oh, some lonesome crop is going photoshop? Oh no!
My total darkness tops the Hopes and Dreams of you owning your plot
Had the whole of Popstar beat, you never seen that as a kid cuz
Your parents and the kingdom made like my face: SPLIT UP!

Flowey:
Wow, with that black hole in your mouth, that verse sucked
You wished to be a God but you still couldn't beat Kirb up
Now this jester wants a fight? Hmm, this seems familiar
But besides that, being God's a wonderful idea!
WHAT AN IDIOT!
This demented jester messed up when he met a friend, 
the fella had tell em better get a wish, lies he fed and set him up
Next he's stepping in, entered in his wish
Menacing in this then Kirby ended him
So if you don't wanna be beat
Man, you shoulda just wished you were me!

Marx:
BUT NO! I wished to be G.O.A.T the control this whole land not a goat who got thrown in the dirt
I emerged as a bat, you just turned to a plant with a circle attack, and let's talk about that verse
That you spat, man, how does this plant not have his raps on point?! (hehehe)
Instead he's the prick: a thorn in side, and I won't let it slide
I’ll kill your ass with some pesticide!
And that whole damn philosophy "kill or be killed" was just really a shield
For a bit he was feeling this fear that was building
He saw the real villain and yielded, he quivered and reeled 
It was genocide and he was gonna die
Called to his friend and cried "please do not end my life"
Quickly willed them to spare him but, then
The sibling had killed, with no Chara-bout him (HAHAHAHA!)

This Man vs SCP 990 Rap Battle!

RNG

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