Metro Boomin

I got a vasectomy in my mid twenties. Then I started sticking my dick in crazy. That lasted about 20 years, and it was so much fun.

Now that I'm old I'm happily single. Which infuriates so many women. Friend's wives, siblings, women online, so many people.

They want me to be miserable, but I'm not. I'm living my best life. Totally drama free. Super simple. No worries at all.

So like, my friends and I will get together, and everyone will talk about their current events. And I'm always just like, ya, I went surfing, I went hiking, I took naps. And they're like, Well I had to deal with this and that and this other thing. And then the wives look at me with daggers, and insult me, and ask how it is not getting laid.

But I get it. They know they make their man's life hell. And they don't want them getting any ideas.

But what helps me keep my cool is, when you get into a relationship, and it starts getting stressful, they'll say, it's not all about sex ya know? There's deeper meaning to a relationship. It's about communicating and compromising.

But the second your single all they can say is, well you're not getting laid! And I know I could say, well how often do you guys have sex? And just completely melt them. But what's the point? I'm already winning. If all I want to do is get laid I can. And I wouldn't have to deal with all the bullshit that comes with a relationship.

Young men. Get a vasectomy. Stick your dick in crazy. Do not let them move in. Do not give them access to your finances. Always have a way to leave any situation, even if you're drunk and it's late. Have an exit strategy every time you're with her. The second she crosses the line, bail. Move onto the next one. By the time you're old and you're eyeing retirement, and you've lost your sex drive, you'll be free to do anything you want. You can move anywhere, and spend your time doing whatever you want. Totally drama free, and cheap as shit. It's awesome.


iCe flufling bird

krautrap