so um i don’t like pedophiles so

Son • Verse 1: (12 Bars)
I thought I defeated that meanie, Redface
But now all I’ve got are these VHS tapes
I rap like the treats that you begged and left ate
But I don’t like pie so that means I won’t get baked
Going ham on Hamlen’s show that struck gold
Another soul enclosed being tortured?
You haunted dolls are all the same horror
How ‘bout you explore new genres there, Dora?
While your pops was talking over some hotcakes 
You were popped and dropped along with your Aunt Kate
Since stalking toddlers something I can’t take
I’ll collage through your VOD’S and stomp on the last tape

Amanda the Adventurer • Verse 1: (12 Bars)
Hi, I’m Amanda! I had the day planned, but-
I can’t seem to find my brush, I think it ran off!
We were gonna do a little painting of our fantasies
I’m gonna guess that yours is having a stable family!
You had to convince yourself that your father was picture perfect
But he turns into a different person with the liquor slurping
Your dads a funny critter when he goes a different colour!
He turns beet red!… to then go and beat on your mother
Speaking of, she spent less time with you than the law
She kept running out of your life until she fled to the cops
And despite the stench that death could bring, to mommy, you were everything
…I guess she didn’t know that everything rots…

Son (+ Doll) • Verse 2: (8 Bars)
It’s sad to know Amanda will meet a bleak end
That verse was more soft than the coat on your sheep friend
(yawn)…This is hard, and I’d rather be sleeping..
Then rest well, bud, and I’ll take care of the rest
Don’t know why you keep trying, every life has a cost
You put your friend through these puzzles just to uncover your plot
But there’s no changing the frequency when the radios off
So when light fades, we’ll all move on…

Wooly…? (The Entity) • Verse 2: (12 Bars)
Hello? Can you hear me? You need to stop watching
Squaring up is useless when your body’s caught and locked in a closet
Please remove the tapes, char or discard them I’M BEGGING-
(bzzzzzzzzzt……)
You can't stop me from smearing you all along the walls though
Tried to tug my heartstrings, but you played the wrong notes
You think your daddy’s scary when he’s washed from all the tonic he’s slogging?
I’m gonna leave your neck more broken than the bottles he’s tossing!
The kid was left there for a week in a half
It’s pretty clear no one cared you were getting eating by mags
And now your stuck in an loop like both of your parents in prison
…and here I thought you were different…

(SCRAPPED DEMO) Bad Parenting vs. Amanda the Adventurer

The koopalings and I have taken over the Candy Kingdom


Matt Raichous as The Summerween Trickster

DumbShlop as Gummigoo


Written by JoJoVo

Art by TomPuffs & Snakebite126
Thumbnail by TomPuffs

Beat prod. by Surce
Mixed and Mastered by Serena

Special thanks to Alchemyking & Leo Barqui

LYRICS:

TRICKSTER
Trick or treat… seems the rumors were true
I’ve got just the appetite for losers like you
I’ll step to the candy felon
When I cut your fuse short like a jack’o’melon

Knock, knock…
You’re trapped in the chaos, a box, and the exit has been… locked…
Fought with the rabbit, can’t hip… hop…
Now your time runs short, so tick…tock…

GUMMIGOO
Crikey! You’re a tall fellow
With a small yellow face and a lame coat to your image
Hey, we could use a scarecrow at the village! Thanks a bunch, man!
This big black blob can stay with The Fudge 

They call me Gummigoo
While the fans’ll never get enough of me, it sure is seeming like they’re done with you
Bottom of the clearance buckets for a reason
The people hate your taste ‘cause you’re out of season

TRICKSTER
Your mind seems troubled, perhaps I have the remedy
You can’t remember faces? I’ll carve mine into your memory
Can’t you see? We’re both outcasts–that’s to say
Me, in the trash, you, snapped like a candy Caine

Keep trucking, in the end you’re just a tack in the wall
When you tumble with the jester, Reality Falls
Though credit where it’s due, when Down Under fell down bad
Your death was the only thing… to make the clown laugh

GUMMIGOO
Fair dinkum, mate, but if you’re serving yourself up,
Hope you prepared me some, ay? I’m thinking I could use some grub
You’re a fighter though, I’m sure to make an NPC of you
This beatdown is not S&P approved

You eat kids, mate… that’s !?%$ed up
And now you’re down under, too… in Soos’s gut
Nice to catch up with the trickster, this trip wobbled through the rocks
Summerweenie had no sauce, so I came out on the top

Gummigoo vs The Summerween Trickster - Rap Battle (ft. Raichous & DumbShlop)

Clarence the Duck as Mr. Frog
TheToppo as Red Guy

Beat by composition x

Mixed by Box
Graphic Design by Box

Illustrated and Written by Teimunity

(SCRAPPED BATTLE) Red Guy vs. Mr. Frog

prod by SAINT-DROP

than

I’ve conquered galaxies
Stars and planets kneel before my massive fleets
All is grasped between my palms so Ganon’s region is not worth vanquishing
You’re called calamity incarnate? That’s the name they oughta had for me
Cause if you reincarnate, then this body’s guaranteed

Your power’s so finite
Only spanning three timelines
You’ve been a bore in my eyes
And I don’t mean the swine kind
You’d die twice when you and a child fight
But I’ll help rewind time
You then got a fresh start when you met your demise like

You hide in fortresses til a half-pint warrior kills ya
Just a sitting duck when you have no Courage and Wisdom
You’ve only ever had Power, cause when it’s in my hands
You’ll end up just as empty and barren as your own desert land

gan

Pity… for an Eternal, you’ve no eternal youth
I get purple too, but only when I look at you
Horrid creature, being born a leader is what I’m suited to
It’s my birthright, something that you couldn’t do

Girlfriend’s a skull head, I’d say he’s just as dense
Cause this weak man can’t see that he’s slave to all her whims
So much cowardice that now his own face has gotten split
Cause you’re an ace at being able to take it on the chin

You can’t conquer - any star that you find
When Nebula’s your daughter - and you’d toss her aside
And you nearly ruled the cosmos - but you thought your - artifact died
So go on and have mine, for YOU just seem to LOSE power all of the time

than

(*thanos gets the power triforce and uses it to complete the infinity gauntlet*)

You just made a mistake. A grave one.
The Cosmic Cube then or your Triforce now won’t shape up
So cough up your armies and squadrons
Ironic, I slaughter your gauntlet of bosses with a gauntlet

(*thanos starts fuckin, bashing shit round hyrule with the gauntlet*)

With how you store your currency
You can’t afford my mercy
When your rainbow shards are scattered far and they get lost in random pots until a boy goes burgling
In the homes he lurks in
So I’ll show him what a REAL home invasion’s got

All of your goblins and Lizalfos’ get chopped to death 
And it’s obvious to me that any sort of Guardians aren’t a threat
You’re a lunatic, your planned purge was flooding the damn Earth?
I’ll do Hyrule a favour and snap - before you snap first

(*thanos snaps*)

gan

I applaud and laugh! You left my army halved!
But they’re only there to ensure I get a proper match
You really dare to split me in two? You’ll see me halved then…
Cause now you’re talking to GANON

(*ganondorf kinda just doesnt care and turns ganon*)

Some rodent left your MASSIVE ASS FLAT
So if you’ve mastered betrayal, you’re better AS A DAMN RAT 
I’m the only person that you CANNOT BACKSTAB
Cause you’re no rival, I’ve a dark side THAT YOU CAN’T MATCH

But Thanos, know I’m thankful for the crafts and forces that you’ve brought
For after your defeat, your men will fall under my grand control
To have the stars and beyond is a chance I hold
But first I now command you all to bow before Ganondorf, your brand new lord

(*ganon takes control of thanos’ fleet and goes on a big space adventure :3*)


hi! welcome back to a new different version of rosenthal battles where i sort of just dont give a shit about anything past the demo stage because i cba!

this specific battle was inspired by this one battle rapper named jey the nitewing, who is like the definition of aura, so i wanted to write a battle that sorta encapsulates the mad king energy. some other battlers that inspired this writing were dizaster and real sikh on ganon’s side, but this is mainly inspired by jey in general.

for this battle i wanted to focus on setting a tone of like “you dont fuck around w these guys” and the substance of the disses sorta suffered from that, but ermm i kinda uhh dont care lole. hopefully i was able to deliver what i wanted thru the writing and performance, but im just glad knowing that i was able to pay good tribute to the mad fucking king 👑

Thanos VS Ganondorf - Scrapped Battles of Whatever

Welcome back to Lame-Ass Rap Battles! Today we have randomly-generated rectangles; Steve and Alex from Minecraft vs the YouTube channel Webdriver Torso. Enjoy, and happy April Fool’s Day!

Danii as Steve
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@SwaggyFlan
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/453EGjLZcGifTB4Tyjzdgq

TAFox as Alex
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@thatadorablefox
Cardd: https://thatadorablefox.carrd.co/

Commander Jacob as Red Rectangle
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/CommanderJacob
Twitter: https://twitter.com/commander_jacob

JustGamer as Blue Rectangle
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JustGamerRapBattles
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/3n1xhiocXnl8yFsVxb2IqW

- LYRICS -

Minecraft (0:10)
Steve:
Hey Alex, where are the coords we wrote?
Alex:
Don’t need ‘em, I can tell that we’re stepping on two zeros
I thought paintings were flat, but you’re even thinner
Steve:
You're so 2D, why would you have a profile picture?
Alex:
Nice
Steve:
Watching your channel makes lava swimming seem way fun
Forget down, you’re what we’d never dig
Alex:
Straight up!
Steve:
We’ll level you awfully low
Alex:
One body blow quite Hertz
For your sake, get some other audio, Driver

Webdriver Torso (0:31)
You really think you rock with the lines you write?
Cuz what we're picking up is as worthless as diorite
You piss your pants when a diamond shines
Then you cry if you lose one; your mood’s swinging side-to-side
Here’s something to Evoke the sense of getting Vexed
Built a world brick-by-brick and it was broken by a Lego set
Your cycle’s not two-week; the movie trailer though?
If Warner Bros played your game, it wasn’t in creative mode
Plus there's a practice that we're struggling to grasp, and it makes
Our brain more broken than the shield you always have to your face
You stack materials deep in a cave, pickaxing away
Just to make gadgets so that you don't have to actually play

Minecraft (1:03)
Steve:
Spider shit; we’re spinning Web tonight
Only thing Driving through your Torso is Sharpness V netherite
Alex:
Nah, use a bow. While their position’s always changing
Unlike us, with all their shots, they’re still completely aimless
Don’t let a mace in the wrong hands
Steve:
I’ll knock a glitch all the way to the Farlands
Alex:
We tower in numbers, they paid us some large bands
Steve:
Want yours higher? Maybe just call France *old death sound*
Add up all your channels that just copy explicitly 
And an Enderman can still garner more watchtime, admittedly
Alex:
At least a PowerPoint gives you some options for different themes
You got no one in your corner, there’s no Aqua Affinity
Steve:
Damn
Steve and Alex:
Put you to Bed, you’ll get sweaty when War wages
Smashin the rap game; we’re known to control stages
We’ll space and click to cut the “alien speak”
Steve: 
Hey, you know what we should pause?
Alex:
I see the player you mean.

Webdriver Torso (1:44)
Your community regularly has criminals instilled in it
YouTubers reach a peak but can't build limits
If that doesn’t happen, they still form a brainless army
Making us question why they hate Baby Zombies
It’s like you’re cursed; be thankful we were conceived with beeps
You complain, with a high frequency, “updates are a low frequency”
And when they do drop in the game
All you see are more biomes to colonize and mobs to enslave
Crops indicate what you’ve grown to be
A content farm, so to speak, complete with controlling seeds
Our background is darker than some of Steve’s merch, how disheartening 
Perhaps Notch was head of marketing

- CREDITS -

Written, directed, edited, beat arranged, and Webdriver beat produced by Commander Jacob
Mixed by GamingPlush64
Minecraft beat produced by Phil Tyler
Additional ambience by Modeaudio

Feedback by Eric the Audible, TheMonarchy, 3ple, itsnugget, SimplyRazzy, GamingPlush64, and the rest of the spaceship
Shout-out to TheBabyBeef, ENNWAY, Fightmarker, and SimplyRazzy

Thanks for listening
-ComJac

Minecraft vs Webdriver Torso | Rap Battle (LARB)

Leo Barqui as Slither Wing
Chaotic Rap Battles as Liver King
Written by TheNauticalClaydol, Jacobrl99, Nugget
Beat by VANNN.
Mixed by SIR Rap Battles

Slither Wing:
It looks like I’ll be the one to make a First Impression
I'm bringing this fight to the Stone Age you’re obsessed with
Like your veins popping out, you’ll feel surface tension
When I bury this neanderthal, strengthen his Earth connection!
But given your diet, I’m sure you’ve met with my kind
Since you’re prone to catching stomach Bugs with every Bite (Hiss!)
But if you think this moth's dinner, you picked the wrong critter
I’ll cut a King down to size, now that’s a Chopped Liver!
Bulking Up on steroid dependence?
This phony King would only earn a crown if he went to the dentist!
Kept up the Facade, still filling yourself with toxins
Now you’re only influencing lawsuits with those Concoctions!

Liver King:
Wow, I thought I was the one who didn’t cook!
Now the King will bring the Strength to your Struggle, so listen good!
I’m chiseled by the gods, while this bug is punching soft!
My raps are like the way I eat my meat: BLOODY RAW!
You look like a beta design, I’m on my sigma shit! (LIFT!)
When we duel on a beat, you're just Wingin’ it!
Think I’ll take those disses, bitch? You’ll Quiver when I’m bringin’ it!
Eat you like a Chicken Wing and spit you in my kitchen sink!
Wanna talk about supplements? There’s no remedy
For how worthless you are if you don’t carry Booster Energy!
I’m the Fitness guru that you shouldn’t have Crossed!
I take life by the horns, and bite the bull by the BALLS! (CREATINE!)

Slither Wing:
Pumping iron to show mettle, but you’ve drawn my ire
With those lines from a time before man discovered fire
It’s clear from your ‘apology’ that you speak hollow words
Whenever you step up to the plate, you nauseate your followers!
This bald fraud should make like his channel and wash up!
Dirty-bearded spearfisher: Jason Chemo-moa!
And we know your Tempers Flare from all the ‘roids in your putrid blood
So when I put you on ice, perhaps you’ll keep your cool for once

Liver King:
Put me on ice? Buddy, I think you forget:
Between the two of us, who survived an extinction event?! (GAINS!)
But maybe I’ll take notes on your world, you've got some strong guys
Like the Koraidon that showed Sada some real Assault Bikes!
You’re pudgy as fuck! Could you be any frickin’ lazier?!
Walk a day in my shoes, and you’d be the Liver Failure!
This battle ends with moth being served, right off the cutting board!
But if you ever want a piece of me, I’m always hungry for MOOOOOAR!!

Slither Wing vs Liver King - RAP BATTLE

Welcome back everyone today we have a battle between two masters of disaster and chaos , on the left corner we have the looniest tune the talk of the town lately in animation communities, Acme’s number one client and on the right corner, you’ve seen him and you’ve followed his orders , he’s always there ready for road-trips and always willing to signal the warnings, that’s right it’s Caution Guy , who will win stick around to find out 

- the Thinker 

CAST: 
ego as Wile E. Coyote 
GreenOwl as Caution Guy 

CREW: 
Written by WeThink 
Art by EatMoPizza & Trav Shark 
CoverArt by WHOZPHANTOM 
Mixed by Zagranis 
Special thanks to : Theme Park Avenue 

Lyrics:

*Bomb will explode in 3…2…1* 


Wil E Coyote 
Huh…it didn’t explode, sigh, what a waste 
But this will certainly blow up in your face 
I’ve seen you around never took you for a rapper 
Take it one step further, never took you for a character 

Always preaching the rules this stickman is a stickler 
Funny how even myself is better at painting a picture 
And believe me you don’t wanna draw gainst a toon 
And if I let you touch the track I bet it’ll go KABOOM!

Caution Guy: 
On every road across the globe, I uphold a noble purpose 
While the only law your validate, is if we talking Murphy’s 
Spend half a century trying to hunt with no improvement 
Why eat the bird when you have so much beef with Newton (huh) 

Phone it with ACME. They’ve put you thru ringer 
You could meet your maker. He’d give you the finger 
And you got the movie greenlit? That is impressive now 
All you had to do was become the mascot of a  Twitter crowd 

Wile E Coyote: 
Preaching your importance man, ain’t really a smart move 
As the only place you actually matter is the bathroom 
C’mon wiseguy even I find a better use for signs (Aight) 
You’re cat-like but this pussy has more than nine lives 

And what is the deal with those lines you shoe in 
Yet again you’re the perfect example of what not to do , kid 
On the track I’m fast and furry-ous better wear your safety belt 
But much like it’s custom, you just can’t save yourself 

Caution Guy: 
Whatever man, I don’t believe what you’re imposing 
Cuz I was the Fall Guy way before Ryan Gosling 
While you’re the mutt , the butt of every joke (ouch) 
Shocked when I hand you the mic it doesn’t fucking explode 

This is just another time you fall flat dude 
Sad that your claim to fame was chasing fast food 
Jones’s legacy’s been Chucked now you’re a falling hazard 
Caution: (that’s all folks) Dead end ahead for this jackass

Wile E. Coyote vs Caution Guy ft. ego & iGreenOwl

Written by King Ducky
Mixed By Jort
Art by Grasman & Tompuffs
Chiselled by Raisu
Cover by SPM
Writing help by Futurefilmmaker, Forgottenson & Supergamerbro
Prod. Epistra & Glitchdude

Spinel (Langlelee):
Well Well Well…
High time I slice a runner up when like a gate I shut her up 
Leave a bummer crunched till theres nothing but Charlotte's guts
Ya just a Bendy clone that can bend who decides to side with violence 
Only stuck with kids on the web by swiping my schtick! 

Wooh!…It’s quite the stretch to think violence can
Solve your fights as when you tried and ran at a guy when manic 
You died in a panic and winded up diced because you got tied in the end
Got caught right in a grind machine like a Fly In A Web! 

The fight got in-tense, her upper half snapped like a rubber band!
Much like her stubborn head when the only ones that loved her left
This mother lives below their land and still can't understaaaaand!
That kids can have Other Friends…

Only finds a match in a mindless transcript or the fine dust gathers of grime attached to
This spider's massive vibrant plastic albeit doll she is tightly yanked up by a hand! And
I can't stand tantrums bout being abandoned. I sat in a garden for years unattended! 
The Garten your fans have all cheered for is Banban, Windows you stick to aren't smeared up like that rep!

Mommy Long Legs (TheLoneSporano):
Your laughable tramp design's as scratched as a stone you're shackled to 
I rap as well as the vines lapped scant around your ankles do! 
A broken rubber hose, no one wants blobs of pouts you've slobbered out
The teardrops you've bawled out would toss me down the water spout!

Bonzo Bunny(GreenOwl)
Tried to right the wrongs when your fight had stopped (augh!)

Mommy Long Legs
Still, you’re reliant on Diamond palms
And now…

Mini Wuggies(GnomeYT, Elizikin, Fulmon)
Diamonds have good laughs at the pain you had felt
Why that track would have had them drifting away too, Spindel…

Pug-A-Pillar (Danii):
I’m troublesome but tons of fun, you do what master asks while
Like trusted pugs, you sat dormant- a doormat you’re stamped down!
Who feuded to become used anew to be lost once the movie dropped?

Mommy Long Legs:
Why bubble gum! You blew up then were spat out!

Spinel:
Would ya really like knowing the blunt truth?
No youth in their right mind would touch you!
Life was an on loop broadcast of this abuse
Even one, two of your death scenes were unused!

My injector launched on Roses homeland,  
Dropping with less flaws than project playtime 
God its toxins can’t cross with 
When heads called the shots in Paynes life!
The same kids ya trained, played with, loved
Stay caged because you, obeyed Greybers law
Then wail blaming them?! Paynes taking the Game Stations top Played Plaything!

But… you’re no deadbeat mom
I don’t want to grind your gears but that’s an mcs job
Although we both had our backstories render past hurts
At least I got my happily ever after

TV:
Mommy Long Legs!/ BrAnd NEw /with/ tunes n' beats
Unlike/ BOnZo!/ And!/ Spinel…/who?/ are TwO!/Clingy!
(*ooooh)/ YOU!/ were in/ quite the/ sticky situation 
Even those/ sHOeS/ we're in a!/ sticky situation 
Don’t whine/ over Stevens/ speech of peace
InSTEAD…/ repeat this scene on the tv!
Say did she lie/ Did SHe?

Mommy Long Legs:
Playing HIDE… AND… SEEK?

TEN!
I'll thrash you through dust, the best you could do is mood-swinging!
NINE!
I'll drag you through the mud so let's view the slew which you bring in

EIGHT!
Quite an uptight gal, want to talk unused when you might have been cut right out?
SEVEN!
Then subside down on a dime when it got cried out almost like the gems upside down

SIX!
Thousand years clinging onto a dead memory singing songs: an obsessed melody!
FIVE! 
Pity Pot had the best weaponry which she lost!

FOUR
Ment for staging mentors plaything yet your temper stained it 
THREE
 You’re never making ever-fated entertainment!

TWO! Pedals withers, love is forced, oh how you lose
She has come up short, no wonder Rose outgrew you…

Spinel vs. Mommy Long Legs - Royal Rap Battle! [ft. Langlelee & TheLoneSporano]

im not a fukin rapper prod acen

Desire(prod. NosKils)

MY NAME IS

MY MAME IS

The second account to Teimunity, here you will see demos, early mixes, scrapped beats, etc.

(SCRAPPED BATTLE) Red Guy vs. Mr. Frog

Twomunity

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