The original version of Jose Vera's first album. All songs written and performed by Jose Vera. (2016)

Necrosis

Stay the Night (2014 Demo)

written by Jose Vera and Christian Tobias

Things I Can’t Change (2023)

written and recorded by jose vera & santiago castro

lyrics, vocals, guitars, and drum programming - jose
bass and vocals - santi 

falling out from what we know
feels like I’ve been here before
hearts they play a dangerous game
tie me up, set me a blaze, but still

when you call, I think I’m 
the only one who hears at all
when you’re gone, I don’t know 
if I will ever feel the same

this life we left is what I hold
in-tact while you remain so cold
death is looming over me
cannot bare the sweet release, but still

when you call, I think I’m 
the only one who hears at all
when you’re gone, I don’t know 
if I will ever feel the same

you were always out of my reach
you were always out of my reach
you were always out of my reach
you were always out of my reach
out of my reach
out of my reach
out of my reach
out of my reach

rainbow road bedroom demo 2024

I think I finally realize
What it means to be alive
Withholding my truth
To filter the abuse
But I was never confused
I never had enough to lose
Except the comfort of my youth

I don't want the distance
I'll try to be consistent
I promised you
Now that feeling's so far from true
Wish I made you happy
Instead I'm always acting
To hide from you
I will never be let through

I think, that I found the worst in you
Maybe you'll be different
But that was never the truth
I wish you had the chance to see me through
But that was never for you

Over and over, my heart still beats again
Never get over the torture in my head
Over and over, my heart still beats again
Never get over the torture in my head

I think, that I found the worst in you
Maybe you'll be different
But that was never the truth
I wish you had the chance to see me through
But that was never for you

fear of feeling

fixing everything

I can't live inside my head
With all the things we never did
I don't wanna play pretend
Just to feel like we make sense

So what? It's alright
I don't wanna think about it at night
So what? It's alright
So what? It's alright
I don't wanna see you for the last time
So what, it's alright

When we're breaking like before
Will you leave me on the floor?
Caught up in the lies again
Now there's nothing to defend

So what? It's alright
I don't wanna think about it at night
So what? It's alright
So what? It's alright
I don't wanna see you for the last time
So what, it's alright

So what? It's alright
I don't wanna think about it at night
So what? It's alright
So what? It's alright
I don't wanna see you for the last time
So what, it's alright

kill all shoegazers

Well, I'm sorry again
But you've known that I am like this
And there's nothing you
Or me, or anyone could really do
Ever since you left me I've been
Stuck right fucking here
Wait for you to save me
Before I dissappear
And no, I don't
Learn from my mistakes
Or from anything I've lost
And thrown away, it's such a shame
To be in this position
Is everything I know
And I just wish you'd listen to me
Once before I go
You think that I am like you
But clearly you were wrong
I'm weak, and shackled
By these chains I drag along
I wish that I could break them
But this pain is all I know
And I just wish you'd listen to me
Once before I go

This pain is all that I know
I'm out here, all on my own
I know that I can't save me

i wish you'd listen

And I'll play along
With the broken words on my tongue
And now that you're gone
You're never gonna know
I say before you go
Never gonna know

All the pain I hold
Is what you still don't know
Bury it then go
Kept inside myself
Into the dark within
Like where it all began
Will we ever know?

Feel your pain in mine
Feel it crawl on my spine
I thought a lot when we were young
Now I know I was wrong

Will we feel the pain tonight
Just like everything in time?
I thought of when we were
So young and naive
That's so beyond me

I'll leave it all behind
Leave it all behind
Leave it all behind
Behind

elegy of emptiness

Severing heads off the monsters within
I can't seem to hide my destructive revenge
Everyone's dying, there's blood on my hands
Constantly fighting what I don't understand
It's getting harder for me to trust myself
Deep underwater, I've fallen back into this hell
Laid on the altar, my sacrifice to be unwell
Stubborn reminders, that I'm all alone and you can't tell

Wasting away in a body of shame
I can't keep on trying to build and create
Each day's left in silence, the promise that I kept
To hide my true self away, but it's all the same
And when I try to run, I find her in my shadow
Chained up to show me that I've lost the inner battle
So close to comfort, but I'm thrown into the gallows
I've let them hold me back, now I'm starting to unravel

Why, was I given precious life
When I'm trapped on the inside?
I'm looking back at all the
Love that I can't stand by
I am never who I've been
But keep trying to pretend
Each day it's getting worse
And I'd rather go unnoticed

Am I worth it in the end
When my whole life this is how I've been?
Too weak to be a man
And I'll never understand it
Put me down like you always do
I tried so hard to be like you
Couldn't stand to see it through
And I'm choking on the silence

Why, was I given precious life
When I'm trapped on the inside?
I'm looking back at all the
Love that I can't stand by
I am never who I've been
But keep trying to pretend
Each day it's getting worse
And I'm begging you to notice

When will all the nightmares end?
It's my own my life that I can't stand
Time may never hold my hand
Until I pay for the crimes I commit

All I know is this feeling inside
And I wish you would tell me
That I'll never leave
Countless days, countless nights
I don't know what I've caused
Holding on till I'm finally free

i will never pay back what i owe on the westpark tollway

I can't tell you how I feel
'Cause lately you've been distant
And I don't know what you want me to say
When all of it's been useless
I don't know why you'd want me to stay
You pull me close, then you push me away

I'd tell you right now
But you won't hear
A single word I say

One day, we're finally better
So safe, but I fear what's after
All the time that I wasted
Maybe that's why I'm anxious
I hate to think it's forever
So sick, the days blend together
Kinda sick of the passed time
And now I'm missing a past life

I don't know how
We can come back from this
Come back from this
And I don't know why
You would throw it all away
You threw it all away

I look back at the times
All of the things kept inside
Still not sure what you're after
So why did it even matter?
And all I could ever do
Was never enough for you
Every day was the same
I took all of the blame
Now I'm stuck can't get out
Of this mess that I made

I don't know how
We can come back from this
Come back from this
And I don't know why
You would throw it all away
You threw it all away

I never meant for things to go this way
We let it all go up in flames
But honestly, I can't say I'm surprised
And honestly, I felt it every time
I never wanted you to act like this
We fall apart so easily
But honestly, I have to tell the truth
Stuck in the cycles we abused

promises

i can't leave it all behind
don't wanna twist the knife
like i do again when
you're getting closer
i can't get this off my mind
run through it every night
can't do it again but
they push me further

this can't be forever

written by jose vera & santiago castro
in loving memory

wish that i knew
what the hell happened to you
start to get distant again 
find comfort in the love
of your friend

wish that i knew
what the hell’s been going on with you
pushed me far away from your plans
guess i’m that easy
to forget

wish i had the chance
spilling out all my regrets
spend another night in your bed
fuck a happy ending
spend all your time pretending
but it’s all in your head

didn’t have the time
to figure out why
you called me in the state
you did that night
when things got tense
you came and went
hungover in the arms
of another life

wish i had the chance
spilling out all my regrets
spend another night in your bed
fuck a happy ending
spend all your time pretending
but it’s all in your head

i'm going to go missing soon (demo)

original drop D version, rough vocals, and kyle's drums

fixing everything demo

december (neck deep cover)

I Really Wish I Hated You - Cover (feat. Marc Lyle)

houston pop punk & emo
kill the process, sister has a scar, misc covers 
@ktphtx
@sisterhasascar

kill the process

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