help me be me

This is for anyone stuck in a relationship that hurts them. There’s also a blog version on Hello Giggles and Teaspoon of Happy. Often people find themselves stuck in unhealthy relationships, anticipating negative behavior and growing sick inside with worry. Because so many of the unhealthy relationships are with people you would consider family, it’s extremely painful and confusing to get out of one.  You will find yourself tortured with guilt, questioning and doubting your own motives.  You might find yourself saying things like “But I have to!” rationalizing why it's easier to stay in it than try to leave.  This is a relationship is felt much like a hostage situation would be: you have a proverbial gun held to your head by the implied impact of your actions. In other words: you’re damned if you do and damned if you don't, so for now you're trapped and can’t get out. If this sounds familiar, this episode is a toolkit for you. 

Episode 13: Detaching with Love

Hola Peeps, this is a little mental power up episode to help you manage persistent thought patterns.  We all have moments we call out to ourselves via thought-instant-message, "You are now experiencing(fill in the blank familiar state of being)," despite our deliberate effort to change that state.  It's that thought, in itself, that then creates our actual state moving forward. 

It’s often that semi-average, automated thought that we trust as legit - that tends to hold ultimate power over us.  Thoughts like, "I'm tired." can alter the remainder of our thoughts for the rest of the day.  Those automated thoughts also have the power to block us from mental stillness and calm.  For example, even in the moment of attempting to quiet your mind, you might experience the thought, “I am having a hard time keeping my focus today.” That, too, is just a thought - and instead of taking it as gospel, we must instead observe it as just another automated mumble floating through our consciousness. So this is to hopefully help you separate from those mumbles so that you can dethrone them in favor of a happier you.  

For more check out http://www.TeaspoonOfHappy.com 

I hope you have a fantastic week! xo 

Outsmarting Negative Thought Patterns

This is a short-ish mindfulness meditation for you to do while sitting just about anywhere. It's a manual-brain-shut-down button for anyone who has incessant, non-stop thoughts that never seem to quiet down. That's a sign that there has been some imbalance created in you brain based on your lifestyle. To remedy it, I recco starting a daily meditation practice. This is one of those meditations (if you like it, that is.) 

To listen to it, find somewhere you can be alone and uninterrupted for at least half an hour - somewhere you are comfortable. It's under 15 minutes and should be completed in one sitting.  If you like it, let me know and I'll make more! 

For more of my writing you can head to TeaspoonOfHappy.com
Smile lovely friends! xox


Brain Chatter Relief: A Daily Quieting Meditation


This is for anyone who is at the stage of personal growth where you haven't seen the change yet and you’re struggling with doubts about whether or not you should keep going at all. Maybe the positive affects are not obvious and therefore you don't have enough momentum to sustain your focus at the same level – so some part of you is suggesting you give up and accept that you are different than those who succeed. Maybe you're relying (barely) on sheer faith and your own will but doubts are sneaking in.  This is an inspirational power-up from the sidelines from someone who can see where you are on the hill. Yes, it’s the toughest part – but this will hopefully help you keep going! Don’t stop now!!! You’re almost there!

For more of my writing check out TeaspoonofHappy.com and smile lovely friends!

This is for a friend on Soundcloud – you know who you are – and thanks for your inspiring note! xo Sarah-May B.


Struggling to Keep Up the Work When You Haven't Seen Results

Okay, yes, this is a melodramatic title but it’s because this is a big deal and it’s causing millions of people to suffer from a whole slew of different side effects.  Maybe you’ve felt it – anxiety, worry, a lack of focus. You feel hollow and nothing seems to quench it.  You get a little retail therapy because you’re kind of just “meh” about life, just unfulfilled. It’s a modern condition that robs many across the globe of their happiness, inner peace, and keeps them trapped in helpless inaction. What I am explaining is a false identity of “self” that manifests from the dominance of our thoughts. Thoughts that appear to us as the voice of our soul – that dictate how we are feeling, what we want, what we need, what we’re worried about – what we should be doing. And often, all at once.  Our thoughts often won’t shut up regardless of how hard we try to soothe and distract.  They also mislead us into thinking we can find happiness and relief if we just follow their orders. 

But this is what this episode is about.  The condition is the thoughts have staged a coo.  Contrary to how it might feel, thoughts are not You.  Think of them right now as they are passing through your mind. They narrate in your voice. They chatter of needs, they report feelings – but these thoughts are not “YOU.”  Who are you then? You are the one observing your thoughts. You are a being – you are Awareness. Whichever term appeals to you more. One perceiving the physical through the use of this body.  And at one point in your life – probably so far back that you can’t remember it, you had no thoughts like this. You had no constant inner monologue. You were probably around 7 years old, sitting in a classroom – bored, but your mind was completely silent. No narration. Just you, there, totally present, and observing. 

So if you suffer from this condition, I am going to describe how it works, in my laymen’s words in the hopes that you will be able to understand it and then perceive it.  The tools to help it? The tool is just this podcast. It’s aim is to remind you that you are Awareness. That’s all. How to get outside of this prison. 

This is for you, Christina! Hope you like it!! xox Smile y'all!
For more of my writing head to http://www,TeaspoonOfHappy.com
I will post the blog version of this later this week. If you want to do your own reading, this information is all straight out of two books, "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle and "Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself" by Dr. Joe Dispenza


Episode 42: Prison of Thoughts-Recognizing the Ego That Has Blocked You from Happiness

What is self work? It’s acknowledging something in yourself that needs to be addressed for the sake of growing. It’s what you decide to do when you look at your life and decide you’re not so stoked to be where you are. It’s a moment of clarity – or fed-up-ness with the conditions of yourself and your inability to do anything about them – maybe you’ve been stuck in a pattern you want to break, or you looked up one day and realized you aren’t where you thought you’d be and time is flying by. Most importantly, self-work is the beginning of your life in many ways. It’s the moment you become aware that you have the power to create the self you want to be, in every shape and form – and because that is such an epic and wonderful thing – you make the decision to act on that information by taking steps in an educated direction toward doing that work. And what a profoundly exciting move that is. In my opinion, it’s the best decision you could ever make in your life. I gotta admit, this post made me a bit choked up. I hope you enjoy it – and if you did, please visit my new Patreon.com profile! If you like this content, please support it – any amount counts. Sending you my love and lots and lots of positivity. xox
Smile my lovely friends!

Xox Sarah-May B.

To sponsor this podcast, you can visit:
https://www.patreon.com/sarahmayb

If you have a moment, please take this survey - it will help me help you, better – which is what I dream to do! 
http://www.teaspoonofhappy.com/blog/survey

Thanks in advance! xoxo

And, I hope you dig my new Podcast theme - it's by Booker Hill Music, right here on Soundcloud! Check 'em out! 

https://soundcloud.com/booker-hill-music/treetops?in=booker-hill-music/sets/all



Episode 45: What's the Work in Self-Work - Sizing Up the Personal Growth Ahead

Hi loves, this is to use anytime this week or this month – it’s a little tool for regaining control of the wheel of your person, in the face of enduring places, people or situations that are not to your liking. It’s called “Happy Place.”

The situation, though it sucks and tests your tolerance and ability to pursue what you want despite this situation – is NOT helped by your succumbing to focusing on the pain and unhappiness. Anger is toxic to your body so you are not only hurting your physical health, you are actively causing yourself MORE agony by focusing on it while it’s happening. Often we have an unconscious habit of savoring the sheer magnitude of annoyances in our life and relishing our increased stress or fatigue or the level of idiocy around ourselves. That unconscious savoring is your worst enemy. Is taking time to acknowledge what it is you don’t like and you might not even notice you’re celebrating it again and again because it’s a habit.  So now’s the podcast power up to make note of it! The stupid-crap-from-my-day-celebrations stop today! This week! Yay for today!

For more of my writing- including my newsletter, head to Teaspoonofhappy.com

Personal Happy Place: For When You're Stuck in a Place in Life You Don't Want to Be

This is a little power-up episode about creating more joy-filled and memorable moments in your life. Happiness is a thought-habit that for many of us, requires constant maintenance and deliberate focus. Though there are many reasons to feel grateful for our life – they’re all around us all the time - in order to be capable of feeling that value, we need contrast. Contrast meaning the complimentary opposite of gratitude and appreciation: pain or difficult striving.  In other words, a constant state of awareness of value (happiness) often arrives from a true understanding of its absence (pain). Without that contrast, it’s easy for life to get stuck in a middle array of emotions – a permanent state of “so-so” or “okay.”  When you live in this state for long enough, powerful emotions like gratitude and happiness are assigned to a set of general milestones (birthdays, weddings, getting a promotion etc) but outside of that it can be frustrating to find a true sense of joy.  The real kind – that moves you to tears, or sticks in your memory for the rest of your life. 

So that kind of joy is what I want to talk about.  You have the power to create that range in your life, minus the negative contrast.  It’s a super power you are likely unaware of until you actually put it to use: but when you approach life in this way, you are also expanding your capacity to feel love, gratitude and happiness. So if you’re interested in having more of those real joyful moments, this is a podcast for you. 

And if you want to read the blog version of this I will post it shortly on TeaspoonOfHappy.com

Smile lovely friends! xox


Manufacturing the Capacity for Happiness

For when you’re in the break-up zone that causes you to obsess over the person you just broke up with. 

This is for anyone who has just been broken up with or broken up with a person that they felt they loved – and now you’re obsessing and even Facebook stalking this person. Maybe you know this is not helpful but you can’t stop wanting to know what they’re doing, who they’re with, who they’re seeing now and what that person looks like. And that is hurting you even more! But it’s an obsession and you can’t stop.

Firstly – I am so sorry you’re here! This time will end. You are in the hardest part right now – and the more you can do to be self-loving and be nice to yourself, the faster this will end.  I’ve been here myself and it blows. But you can half the time you suffer if you do everything in your power to do what you know is best for yourself. And that includes some healthy tough love when it comes to policing yourself and what you allow your focus to rest on. 

This kind of a break up is way worse because it’s hitting you on multiple fronts – in other words, this is not just about the loss of love. With all break-ups, time is the greatest healer – but in addition to that, I want to empower you with some insight into your “why” so that you can begin to separate from the process you’re victim to, currently: the obsessing and salting the wound. So you can see the difference between the kinds of suffering: and see what is NOT truly coming from love.

As usual there are three parts. The what the why and the how – the tools. 

This is for Chelsea. I heart you girl! Hang in there. X 


Episode 59: Ex-Obsessed: Emotionally Devastated and Driving Yourself Insane

Are you in a state of “I hate this” or “people are morons” or are you just generally over something about life? Well this episode is for anger of all kinds – from crankiness to annoyance, all the way to pure hatred and ‘fuck this shit to hell.’ What I am really addressing is the mental and physical state itself – because it’s not what you want, it can wreak havoc on your body, those around you, and worst of all, it perpetuates itself. Unhappiness cultivates unhappiness. If you’re interested in listening to this I assume that’s because you are well aware this is bringing you down and it’s not what you want – but you can’t seem to help yourself out of the situation because there are external factors that make that impossible. Life is full of triggers – work, traffic, not to mention – other angry people, so this is to address how you can remove their affect regardless. So without further ado – there are 3 parts to this puppy – the what, the why, and the how: the tools. Yay. Let’s do this!

Check out TeaspoonofHappy.com later this week for the blog version of this post. 
Smile friends! xo


Episode 60: Crankiness: For Anger, Meanness and Chronic Negativity

We all want to be nice and caring people – because it feels good. It rewards us. However we are human and sometimes it can be a challenge to stay in that mindset, especially if people are deliberately cruel and hateful.  Anger and hate become a natural reaction – or to simply shutdown and ignore.  For the same is true of fearing those who hate: when you don’t understand someone and their beliefs betray everything you hold sacred, it’s a feeling that can touch every nerve inside you and incite the same thing – inside you. A hate and intolerance for their beliefs.  

It’s tough to be willing to understand others, especially when they express hate, brutality or intolerance. Like looking into the face of someone filled to the brim with fire and toxic sludge, spitting at you – it can offend every sense you have to witness such a thing. And worse, it can infect you and bring you down. There are lots of toxic people out there, and the natural reaction is to stay as far away from them as possible. But when it comes to people you love, you work with, or you can’t shut out of your life – this is a set of tools to help you understand them and better relate to them.  In the face of intolerance, the self-protective instinct is to run away – to shut down to them and soothe the hurt, lest this hurt you anymore. But this is only a temporary fix to manage the situation. There is a state you can graduate to – PAST this point of managing and shutting off – one comparable to enlightenment: compassion. It’s challenging but also freeing, and it can be a powerful solution when it comes to someone you care about or must deal with in your life – for example a loved one or family member. I hope you enjoy! xo 
For more of my writing head to TeaspoonOfHappy.com 


help me be me

Laurie Sands