help me be me

Watch the music video here!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BhcnD1DGOz0 

Buy "Rain Boots" on CdBaby here: http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/trumpetgrrrl2  
iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/rain-boots-single/id744814977

Recorded and mixed by GRAMMY award winning producer Scott Jacoby
Mastered by Emily Lazar and asst Rich Morales

Photo by Larkin Goff

First single for my next  EP "Just Listen" to be released in 2014.  


Rain Boots

This is for anyone stuck in a relationship that hurts them. There’s also a blog version on Hello Giggles and Teaspoon of Happy. Often people find themselves stuck in unhealthy relationships, anticipating negative behavior and growing sick inside with worry. Because so many of the unhealthy relationships are with people you would consider family, it’s extremely painful and confusing to get out of one.  You will find yourself tortured with guilt, questioning and doubting your own motives.  You might find yourself saying things like “But I have to!” rationalizing why it's easier to stay in it than try to leave.  This is a relationship is felt much like a hostage situation would be: you have a proverbial gun held to your head by the implied impact of your actions. In other words: you’re damned if you do and damned if you don't, so for now you're trapped and can’t get out. If this sounds familiar, this episode is a toolkit for you. 

Episode 13: Detaching with Love

Sometimes breaking through the pain of negativity takes an extra “jolt.”  If you are on a path to becoming your best self, you might encounter – at random – moments in your life, or days or weeks even, that you lose touch with the brightness and joy that lives inside you.  For whatever reason, you might become trapped in a mood or be overcome once again by your conditions. And often this dark cloud will feed itself – it will become more “true,” more weighty and real, and with your inability to find the salve, the more blind to the falsity of this mood, you become. This is when, once again, we are secretly removed of our power – by fear.  Fear that “we will always be this way” and “how did I believe I could let this part of who I am go” and “the hope I felt was false after all.” 

It is during these moments that “extra-strength” meds come in handy.  And by meds, I mean a profound “jolt” from outside of us: the affects of someone with a lightning bolt of truth that can reach you through that cloud – that lie that is your chemical fear – and “jolt” you out of that physical mood/moment and back into your awareness of joy.  It’s like a hard-restart when the programs won’t stop running. 

If you have been stuck in a chronic dark-cloud of energy, this is a podcast power-up for you. 
For more of my writing and my toolkit book, check out Teaspoon of Happy! 
http://bit.ly/1vyjzl0

And if you like, please post a Testimonial on Teaspoon or review me on iTunes! Xox Sarah May B.


Extra-Strength Lightening Bolt: For Prolonged Bad Moods and a Jolt Out of Negativity

If you’re scared to go home this holiday because you’re worried that you’re going to have painful, triggering-situations with your family, this is a collection of tools for moving through the holiday with balance and grace. So whether or not you decide to skip it this year or move through the experience for the good of the future-you, it always helps to prepare yourself beforehand and have a couple tools ready in your emotional belt.  I will cover a few general categories of painful family dynamics – so depending on your level of pain, choose the one that helps give you the healthiest amount of mental distance and support. 

If you want to read more, keep your eyes peeled for the blog version of this podcast on TeaspoonOfHappy.com or Hello Giggles. Also, I will be adding a supportive happiness challenge to my newsletter for the holiday season so if you are in need of some extra positivity support, head to TeaspoonOfHappy.com and subscribe!  I send you my love peeps - xox Sarah May B. 


Episode 26: Going Back Home for the Holiday - Tools for Managing Hurtful Family Dynamics

Hola Peeps, this is a little mental power up episode to help you manage persistent thought patterns.  We all have moments we call out to ourselves via thought-instant-message, "You are now experiencing(fill in the blank familiar state of being)," despite our deliberate effort to change that state.  It's that thought, in itself, that then creates our actual state moving forward. 

It’s often that semi-average, automated thought that we trust as legit - that tends to hold ultimate power over us.  Thoughts like, "I'm tired." can alter the remainder of our thoughts for the rest of the day.  Those automated thoughts also have the power to block us from mental stillness and calm.  For example, even in the moment of attempting to quiet your mind, you might experience the thought, “I am having a hard time keeping my focus today.” That, too, is just a thought - and instead of taking it as gospel, we must instead observe it as just another automated mumble floating through our consciousness. So this is to hopefully help you separate from those mumbles so that you can dethrone them in favor of a happier you.  

For more check out http://www.TeaspoonOfHappy.com 

I hope you have a fantastic week! xo 

Outsmarting Negative Thought Patterns

This is a short-ish mindfulness meditation for you to do while sitting just about anywhere. It's a manual-brain-shut-down button for anyone who has incessant, non-stop thoughts that never seem to quiet down. That's a sign that there has been some imbalance created in you brain based on your lifestyle. To remedy it, I recco starting a daily meditation practice. This is one of those meditations (if you like it, that is.) 

To listen to it, find somewhere you can be alone and uninterrupted for at least half an hour - somewhere you are comfortable. It's under 15 minutes and should be completed in one sitting.  If you like it, let me know and I'll make more! 

For more of my writing you can head to TeaspoonOfHappy.com
Smile lovely friends! xox


Brain Chatter Relief: A Daily Quieting Meditation

This is a little power-up episode about creating more joy-filled and memorable moments in your life. Happiness is a thought-habit that for many of us, requires constant maintenance and deliberate focus. Though there are many reasons to feel grateful for our life – they’re all around us all the time - in order to be capable of feeling that value, we need contrast. Contrast meaning the complimentary opposite of gratitude and appreciation: pain or difficult striving.  In other words, a constant state of awareness of value (happiness) often arrives from a true understanding of its absence (pain). Without that contrast, it’s easy for life to get stuck in a middle array of emotions – a permanent state of “so-so” or “okay.”  When you live in this state for long enough, powerful emotions like gratitude and happiness are assigned to a set of general milestones (birthdays, weddings, getting a promotion etc) but outside of that it can be frustrating to find a true sense of joy.  The real kind – that moves you to tears, or sticks in your memory for the rest of your life. 

So that kind of joy is what I want to talk about.  You have the power to create that range in your life, minus the negative contrast.  It’s a super power you are likely unaware of until you actually put it to use: but when you approach life in this way, you are also expanding your capacity to feel love, gratitude and happiness. So if you’re interested in having more of those real joyful moments, this is a podcast for you. 

And if you want to read the blog version of this I will post it shortly on TeaspoonOfHappy.com

Smile lovely friends! xox


Manufacturing the Capacity for Happiness

Jealousy, or a perception of your insecurities come to life. How does it sneak into your mind? Your darkest thoughts in your most fearful voice begin scratching at your feelings, dragging you down and causing you to act as your lowest self. You assume you are less than and life is against you somehow.  You're either not enough, or something else outside of you is not enough.  What is this emotional state? Your lowest form of self, the self that is motivated by fear and hate, put in a threatened defensive position. Think of it as You minus your awareness of what is good and loving in this world. This low emotional self is also called your irrational self. 

Most of jealousy acts as a hallucination. It does not show you reality it shows you insecure self-loathing reality: in that world, no one likes you and all the fears you have about yourself are true. For many of us it is clear that we are in an emotionally charged, irrational state – however, we cannot stop ourselves from wanting to “solve” for the perceived insult. “Is it true?! If so, how true? I need to know!” Nothing will quench the irrational need to compute “why” we have been betrayed: we go into loops of solving, calculating, tallying, replaying.  And jealousy has a very potent ability to madden us for that reason: it’s all consuming, it belittles us, and we are aware it’s inside of us and us alone.  A self-inflicted pain with the power to torture and haunt our every moment.  

You will never arrive at your truth through jealousy - you can only do that from a calm, objective vantage point - so this is all about stepping back from the emotion so you can regain your sound thinking. The power behind jealousy is also the key to undoing it: it does not live in reality – it lives in our reaction to reality.  So we can indeed help ourselves when we struggle in the triggered moments.  

Hopefully, I will offer you a few tools to help you navigate out of it and back to your true and highest self: grounded, making decisions from a balanced and sane mindset.  There are three parts: The what. They why. The how: the tools. 

This one is for Fran - thanks for writing me and I hope you likee! xox Sarah May B.

Episode 55: Jealousy – How to Rise Above Your Weakest Self

For when you’re in the break-up zone that causes you to obsess over the person you just broke up with. 

This is for anyone who has just been broken up with or broken up with a person that they felt they loved – and now you’re obsessing and even Facebook stalking this person. Maybe you know this is not helpful but you can’t stop wanting to know what they’re doing, who they’re with, who they’re seeing now and what that person looks like. And that is hurting you even more! But it’s an obsession and you can’t stop.

Firstly – I am so sorry you’re here! This time will end. You are in the hardest part right now – and the more you can do to be self-loving and be nice to yourself, the faster this will end.  I’ve been here myself and it blows. But you can half the time you suffer if you do everything in your power to do what you know is best for yourself. And that includes some healthy tough love when it comes to policing yourself and what you allow your focus to rest on. 

This kind of a break up is way worse because it’s hitting you on multiple fronts – in other words, this is not just about the loss of love. With all break-ups, time is the greatest healer – but in addition to that, I want to empower you with some insight into your “why” so that you can begin to separate from the process you’re victim to, currently: the obsessing and salting the wound. So you can see the difference between the kinds of suffering: and see what is NOT truly coming from love.

As usual there are three parts. The what the why and the how – the tools. 

This is for Chelsea. I heart you girl! Hang in there. X 


Episode 59: Ex-Obsessed: Emotionally Devastated and Driving Yourself Insane

We all want to be nice and caring people – because it feels good. It rewards us. However we are human and sometimes it can be a challenge to stay in that mindset, especially if people are deliberately cruel and hateful.  Anger and hate become a natural reaction – or to simply shutdown and ignore.  For the same is true of fearing those who hate: when you don’t understand someone and their beliefs betray everything you hold sacred, it’s a feeling that can touch every nerve inside you and incite the same thing – inside you. A hate and intolerance for their beliefs.  

It’s tough to be willing to understand others, especially when they express hate, brutality or intolerance. Like looking into the face of someone filled to the brim with fire and toxic sludge, spitting at you – it can offend every sense you have to witness such a thing. And worse, it can infect you and bring you down. There are lots of toxic people out there, and the natural reaction is to stay as far away from them as possible. But when it comes to people you love, you work with, or you can’t shut out of your life – this is a set of tools to help you understand them and better relate to them.  In the face of intolerance, the self-protective instinct is to run away – to shut down to them and soothe the hurt, lest this hurt you anymore. But this is only a temporary fix to manage the situation. There is a state you can graduate to – PAST this point of managing and shutting off – one comparable to enlightenment: compassion. It’s challenging but also freeing, and it can be a powerful solution when it comes to someone you care about or must deal with in your life – for example a loved one or family member. I hope you enjoy! xo 
For more of my writing head to TeaspoonOfHappy.com 


Ep 66: How to Use Compassion to Rise Above the Hate & Intolerance of Others

"Tiger By The Tail (v1)"  - (Indie - Upbeat - Drums - Happy)

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Help Me Be Me is an emotional toolkit for creating positive change in yourself. I like to think of it as self-help for people who hate self-help. I'm Sarah May, coach/mom/all-around happy person, and these are the tools that work for me in my life. For all of my offerings you can check out YayWithMe.com What I share is my personal opinion. It's not a diagnosis for treatment or a substitute for professional help. If you're suffering, please reach out to your local emergency services or call 9-1-1. Music theme created by www.BookerHillMusic.com

Ep 66: How to Use Compassion to Rise Above the Hate & Intolerance of Others

Help Me Be Me

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