Pleasant Valley Sessions

Preliminary mixes for the forthcoming Perfectible Recordings release NO ONE DOES IT SOLO ONLY by Layers of Meta.

No One Does It Solo Only (preliminary mixes)

Rough mix of basic tracks for a new song, with David Gans producing and providing guitar and vocals. Engineered by Jeremy Goody of Goody Sound.

The Long Haired Kings
(c) 2023 At Swim-Two-Birds Music

verse 1
The long haired kings sing songs of love
As they turn their eyes to the skies above
With a grasping hand dividin’ royalties
The long haired kings forsake all loyalties

chorus 1
The long haired kings split up long ago
In a sea of treachery and vertigo
Yes, the long haired kings broke up long ago
In a web of luxury…  and treachery
And vertigo

verse 2
And the long haired kings sang songs of sin
Faced the Pearly Gates with a surly grin
With a broken oath and a grasping hand
The long haired kings pissed away the land

chorus 2
But the long haired kings broke up long ago
In a web of treachery and deep sorrow
Yes, the long haired kings pissed away the band
With a profane oath… and a grasping hand
And a grasping hand

verse 3
Then the long haired kings sung songs of woe
Of how the majors took their birthright long ago
With a willingness to sacrifice their kin
The long haired kings did their own selves in

chorus 3
And the long haired kings faded long ago
In a sea of verdigris and indigo
Yes, the long haired kings pissed away the brand
With a broken oath… and a grasping hand
And a grasping hand

Words and music by Christian Crumlish.

The Long Haired Kings (rough mix)

Rough mix of basic tracks, with David Gans producing and providing bass, Dan Brodnitz on piano, and Jeremy Goody on bass guitar. Engineered by Jeremy Goody of Goody Sound.

Saint Lucifer
(c) 2022 At Swim-Two-Birds Music

verse 1
I dreamed I saw Saint Lucifer, alive as you and me
He offered me a 2 x 4, sweetened naturally
He handed out some anagrams then left without a word
A deep sharp silence followed him
The loudest ever heard.

verse 2
Now, I don’t care for Lucifer. You know that to be true
But I don’t care for anyone ’cept me and sometimes you
I wish that I had never seen that wretched holy man
‘Cause now I’m stuck here in between
The good and righteous plan.

chorus 1
Oh, Saint Lucifer! Time for you to go
Oh, St. Lucifer! Finish up your show
Oh, St. Lucifer! You done it this time, man
Oh, St. Lucifer! 
Don't come ’round again!

verse 3
I dreamed I saw Saint Lucifer along the shoreline drive
I offered him a 2 x 4. He didn’t look alive
I handed out some alibis then left without a word
A deep loud silence followed me
The saddest ever heard

chorus 2
Oh, Saint Lucifer! It’s time for you to go
Oh, St. Lucifer! Let’s wrap up the show
Oh, St. Lucifer! It’s bigger than you, man
Oh, St. Lucifer! 
Never come again!

chorus 3
Oh, Saint Lucifer! Time for you to go
Oh, St. Lucifer! Finish up your show
Oh, St. Lucifer! It’s not about you, man
Oh, St. Lucifer…
We all doin’ what we can…
Don’t come ’round again

Words and music by Christian Crumlish.

Saint Lucifer (rough mix)

Rough mix of basic tracks with David Gans producing and playing bass, Robert Wade on guitar, and Dan Brodnitz on keyboard. Engineered by Jeremy Goody of Goody Sound.

Dirty Ol' Sunshine
(c) 2021 At Swim-Two-Birds Music

verse 1
Dirty old sunshine
Dirty old rain
Dirty old flowers
Dirty old pain
Dirty old winter
Dirty old moon
Dirty old sorrow
Dirty old tune

verse 2
Dirty old mansion
Dirty old sky
Dirty old franchise
Dirty old lie
Dirty old witness
Dirty old vow
Dirty old daydream
Dirty old now

verse 3
Dirty old summer
Dirty old clothes
Dirty old passion
Dirty old Rose
Dirty old sundown
Dirty old friend
Dirty old steam train
Dirty old end

Words and Music by Christian Crumlish

Dirty Ol' Sunshine (rough mix)

Remix of first mix minus the scratch bass tracks, plus the legendary John Hanes on drums (and still with Dan Brodnitz on piano), plus backing vocals from David Gans, Bob Myren, and Dan Brodnitz.

Saint Lucifer (rough mix 2)

Rough mix of basic tracks with David Gans producing. Bob Myren on guitar, Dan Brodnitz on keyboard, John Hanes on drums, Jeremy Goody on bass. Engineered by Jeremy Goody at Megasonic Sound.

Dirty Ol' Sunshine
(c) 2021 At Swim-Two-Birds Music

verse 1
Dirty old sunshine
Dirty old rain
Dirty old flowers
Dirty old pain
Dirty old winter
Dirty old moon
Dirty old sorrow
Dirty old tune

verse 2
Dirty old mansion
Dirty old sky
Dirty old franchise
Dirty old lie
Dirty old witness
Dirty old vow
Dirty old daydream
Dirty old now

verse 3
Dirty old summer
Dirty old clothes
Dirty old passion
Dirty old Rose
Dirty old sundown
Dirty old friend
Dirty old steam train
Dirty old end

Words and Music by Christian Crumlish

Dirty Ol’ Sunshine (rough mix 2)

Preliminary mix produced by David Gans and Jeremy Goody. Recorded, engineered, and mixed by Jeremy Goody at Goody Sound.

Personnel:
Christian Crumlish on ukulele, lead vocals
Robert Wade on lead and bass guitars, vocals
Dan Brodnitz on piano, vocals
Joshua Raoul Brody on pipe organ, harpsichord
John Hanes on drums
David Gans on vocals

Saint Lucifer
© 2022 At Swim-Two-Birds Music

verse 1
I dreamed I saw Saint Lucifer, alive as you and me
He offered me a 2x4, sweetened naturally
He handed out some anagrams then left without a word
A deep sharp silence followed him
The loudest ever heard.

verse 2
Now, I don’t care for Lucifer. You know that to be true
But I don’t care for anyone ’cept me and sometimes you
I wish that I had never met that wretched holy man
‘Cause now I’m stuck here in between
The good and righteous plan.

chorus 1
Oh, Saint Lucifer! Time for you to go
Oh, St. Lucifer! We’re canceling your show
Oh, St. Lucifer! You done it this time, man
Oh, St. Lucifer!
Don't come ’round again!

verse 3
I dreamed I saw Saint Lucifer along the shoreline drive
I offered him a 2x4. He didn’t look alive
I handed out some alibis then left without a word
A deep loud silence followed me
The saddest ever heard

chorus 2
Oh, Saint Lucifer! It’s time for you to go
Oh, St. Lucifer! Let’s wrap up the show
Oh, St. Lucifer! It’s bigger than you, man
Oh, St. Lucifer!
Never come again!

chorus 3
Oh, Saint Lucifer! Time for you to go
Oh, St. Lucifer! Finish up your show
Oh, St. Lucifer! It’s not about you, man
Oh, St. Lucifer…
We all doin’ what we can…
Don’t come ’round again

Words and music by Christian Crumlish

No One Does It Solo Only

Saint Lucifer

Saint Lucifer (preliminary mix)

Preliminary mix produced by David Gans, co-produced and engineered by Jeremy Goody at Goody Sound.

Personnel:
David Gans on guitars and vocals
Dan Brodnitz on keyboards
John Hanes on drums
Jeremy Goody on bass
Lorna Kollmeyer on vocals
Christian Crumlish on vocals and ukulele


Carnegie Hill
© 2020 At Swim-Two-Birds

Ice cream scoop burgers at the Jackson Hole
“We will rock you,” cigarettes and Skoal
Snuck out of school to Blacker & Kooby
Then we went to Burger King to buy a trey-bag doobie

Bricks in the planters made you fall on your ass
Yes I knew Robert Chambers (he was not in our class)
Huddled on a bench in the park after dinner
Up on Carnegie Hill to smoke the trey-bag pinner

Carnegie Hill, Carnegie Hill, Carnegie Hill, up on Carnegie Hill
Carnegie Hill, Carnegie Hill, up on Carnegie Hill

Walking home up Madison, daydreams in the air
Suddenly Ty Sullivan and Randy standing there
When you’re not feeling safe, duck into Blacker & Kooby
Or pack up your troubles in a dirt-weed doobie, on

Carnegie Hill, Carnegie Hill, Carnegie Hill, on Carnegie Hill
Carnegie Hill-o-o, Carnegie Hill-o-o, up on Carnegie Hill-o
Carnegie Hill, Carnegie Hill, nobody called it Carnegie Hill
Carnegie Hill, Carnegie Hill, but I still miss Carnegie Hill

Hurricanes from Pedro’s where they never carded
They didn’t care if you were a minor
“The head of our complaint department’s Helen Waite”
And “Tipping’s not a city in China”

Shoestring fries at the Jackson Hole
PLJ playing… Billy Joel
They moved that old store. It wasn’t the point
And I never felt a thing from that pre-rolled joint, on

Carnegie Hill, Carnegie Hill, Carnegie Hill, on Carnegie Hill
Carnegie Hill-o-o, Carnegie Hill-o-o, up on Carnegie Hill-o
Carnegie Hill, Carnegie Hill, nobody called it Carnegie Hill
Carnegie Hill, Carnegie Hill but I still miss Carnegie Hill
Carnegie Hill-heyey, Carnegie Hill-heyey, Carnegie Hill-heyey, Carnegie Hill hey
Nobody called it Carnegie Hill but I really miss Carnegie Hill

Words by Christian Crumlish
Music by Christian Crumlish

Carnegie Hill (preliminary mix)

Preliminary mix produced by David Gans and Jeremy Goody, engineered by Jeremy at Goody Sound Studio.

Personnel:
David Gans on guitar
Robert Wade on bass
Joe Craven on mandolin
Lorna Kollmeyer on vocals
Christian Crumlish on vocals and electric and acoustic ukuleles

Sham Song (Chanson)
© 2020 At Swim-Two-Birds Music

Well, I found a shamrock
But I was looking for a real rock
And I got shampoo
Because I couldn’t find real poo

So I wrote a sham song
Before I ever wrote a real song
And you can sing along
Because it doesn’t go real long

Yes, I drink champagne
Because I never feel real pain
And I use a chamois
Because I couldn’t find the real me

Now I need a shanty
’Cause I’ve run out of real tea
Won’t you sing one to me?
(And now I’m talking ’bout the real me)

So I wrote a sham song
Before I ever wrote a real song
And you can all sing along
Because it doesn’t go real long

Words and music by Christian Crumlish

Sham Song (preliminary mix)

Preliminary mix produced by David Gans and Jeremy Goody, engineered by Goody at Goody Sound.

Personnel: 
David Gans on guitars
Dan Brodnitz on piano
Myles Boisen on pedal steel and lap steel
Joe Kyle Jr. on upright bass
Joe Craven on mandolin and percussion
Christian Crumlish on vocals

Moses Took Us to the Water 
© 2022 At Swim-Two-Birds Music

Well now, Moses took us to the water (uh hmm)
Moses took us to the water (uh hmm)
Yes when Moses took us to the water, it was
Like leading lambs to slaughter
Moses took us to the water, yes he did

Pharaoh sent us off to catch him (oh yeah)
Well, that Pharaoh set us to catch them (uh hmmm)
So when Pharaoh sent us off to catch him then we
All got drownded when the waves came crashing
When Pharaoh sent us off to catch him (yes sir)

(first plague)
Well, Pharaoh made Ra angry, uh-hm
Yes, Pharaoh made Ra angry, yes he did
Turned Iteru into blood, fish guts poisoning the flood
Somehow Pharaoh made Ra angry, uh-hm

(second and third plagues)
Well, the river frogs that swarmed were bad enough
Yes, the frogs that swarmed up on us were enough
Until our bodies teemed with fleas from our heads down past our knees
But the river frogs that swarmed were bad enough

(fourth and fifth plagues)
Then our goats, and pigs were dyin’, uh-hm
Cattle, goats and pigs were dyin’, oh no
When wild wolves they took their lives, or the pestilential flies
And our livestock just kept dying, uh-hmm

(sixth and seventh plagues)
There was soot that gave us boils, uh-hmm
Yes, it gave us painful boils, yes it did
Then the lightning, hail and fire only took our suff'rin’ higher
When the coal-soot gave us boils, uh-hmm

(eighth and ninth plagues)
Well, the locusts all descended from the sky
Endless locusts kept descending from the sky
When the darkness fell for three days straight we shuddered at our curséd fate
As the locusts kept descending from the sky

(tenth plague)
Then I woke up and my firstborn son was gone, uh-hmm
Yes, I woke up and I found my son was gone, that’s right
Told us Moses was to blame, Pharaoh’s boy died just the same
When I woke and my firstborn son was gone

Six hundred chariots followed him on down
Six hundred o’ the best chariots followed him down
Oh, Six hundred chariots followed him down
And none came back when we all did drowned
And the officers of Kemet all went down

Well now, Moses took us to the water (uh hmm)
Moses took us to the water (uh hmm)
Well, when Moses took us to the water, it was
Like leading lambs to slaughter
Moses took us to the water, yes he did

Yes when Moses took us to the water, it was
Like leading lambs to slaughter
When Moses took us to the water, uh-hmm

'Cause when Moses took us to the water, it was
Like leading lambs to slaughter
When Moses took us to the water.…


Words and music by Christian Crumlish.

Moses Took Us to the Water

Moses Took Us To the Water (Preliminary Mix)

Preliminary mix produced by David Gans and Jeremy Goody & engineered by Jeremy Goody at Goody Sound.

Personnel:
David Gans - guitars
Robert Wade - bass
Javier Navarrette - percussion
Lorna Kollmeyer - vocals
Christian Crumlish - electric ukulele and vocals

All I Know
© 2021 At Swim-Two-Birds

If I were a magician
I’ll tell you what I’d do.
I’d conjure up your future
And show it all to you.

My magic’s all illusion:
Water bottle, plastic flower.
All the things that you will make
Will unfold in their own hour.

All I know is you should know
I’m out here looking out for you.
Everything you’ve ever wanted
Soon will come your way.

No one does it solo only.
Everyone gets sad and lonely.
Don’t forget that out here someone
Loves you every day.

If I were a time traveler
I know just when I’d go.
Back to the place I first met you.
I’d tell you all I know.

But when I built my time machine
It turned out to be fake
And left me with a craving
For your famous pirate cake.

If we could both be pirates
My eye patch would be cool
We’d go right through the book and challenge
Each and every rule

But I’m no jolly roger
Never sailed the seven seas
I never went to Narnia
Nor met the Pevensies

If I were a mixer,
You know that I would be
A stand mixer, fully charged
With electricity.

’Cause you deserve a mixer
That’s magical and fine,
Sent to you in a time machine
From 1959.

Words and music by Christian Crumlish.

All I Know (Song for Finn)

All I Know (preliminary mix)

Preliminary mix produced by David Gans and Jeremy Goody, engineered by Jeremy Goody at Goody Sound studio.

Personnel:
Christian Crumlish on ukulele and vocals
David Gans on guitar and vocals
Robert Wade on bass
Javier Navarrette on congas and shaker


Giving Zoo Wolves Lessons in Music
© 2022 At Swim-Two-Birds Music

Phonograph emits melodies at night
Some of the howlers imitate it

Giving zoo wolves lessons in music

The lions and the tigers, and perhaps the camel
May be taught to change their vocal methods

(Three notes in a scale)
(A scientist's dream)

The first wolves howled a certain way
The call of the wolf is little changed to-day


Words and music by Christian Crumlish

Giving Zoo Wolves Lessons in Music (preliminary mix)

Making an album with Perfectible Recordings.