who wunna collab? https://soundcloud.com/sadcash/please-dont-cry-feat-ay3la

Do What You Please

https://soundcloud.com/scummusic
PROD. https://soundcloud.com/trxpicvl

MERCH: http://lilxlotus.storenvy.com/products/18507607-lil-lotus-noose-longsleeve

I don't wanna feel anything anymore
i just wanna put my hand straight through that door
Now i got wrist bleeding on the bedroom floor
cause i dont wanna feel anything anymore

I remember everything from the time that you left my side
Wiping the tears 'no don't fuck with my eyes'
Biding my time, i wanna try 
Just to forget you but i feel alive 
Oh please take my life
Please take my life
Its the best time to die
Like now, i wanna right now 
I wanna die

I don't wanna feel anything anymore
I just wanna put my hand straight through that door
Now i got wrist bleeding on the bedroom floor
cause i dont wanna feel anything anymore

I dont wanna live in a world without you
Even after al the shit you put me through
You're still the one 
Night grow cold and I'm alone
And you don't ever pick up the phone when i call
So let me die here

Let Me Die Here w/ scum (prod. trxpicvl )

Gallows

Prod:
https://soundcloud.com/fats_e
https://soundcloud.com/keeper92

MERCH: http://lilxlotus.storenvy.com/products/18507607-lil-lotus-noose-longsleeve

I can't do this (Prod. fats'e x keeper)

'Bitter Blue '
coming soon...

Prod:
@93feetofsmoke

MERCH: http://lilxlotus.storenvy.com/products/18507607-lil-lotus-noose-longsleeve

And i still remember 
Your hands in my hair
And the fireplace in December
And time's forever changing
But i still feel the same for you
I just wish you felt the same way too

I don't wanna waste you time 
And i know you have a better life
But it's stuck inside my head 
And i don't wanna leave my bed

So just tell me you want me 
Tell me you need me
Tell me you'll come back
And you're never leaving

I was eighteen when you loved me
And now i know I'm twenty-something
But I'm still hoping that you'd come home
And tell me everywhere that you've gone

eighteen (prod. 93FEETOFSMOKE)

so long, goodbye (ft. Lil Lotus)

mixed / mastered by lil narnia

wishing you well
even though you're with someone else
and nothing but the numbness helps
when theres nothing to do
stuck in my room with these thoughts of you
wishing you well
even though now you're someone else
couldn't tell you how it felt
how much it hurts seeing you
so different now its what distance will do
every second awake
every step that I take
is another one back
hoping one day you'll ask
if I'm okay
i'll tell you everything if you care to know
what its like in this hell
hoping your doing well
so numb I cannot feel
anything but this guilt inside of me
blame myself for things I can't change
all because of you
I love the way that you fucked me
hate every something that we could have been
again and again and again and again
why can't you just love me for who I am
why am I always so fucking upset
all of my pain and my love is the same
it comes from a place with no one else to blame
other than me its all self inflected
wounds that bleed inside and no one can see
self destruction is such a beautiful thing
how does it feel to watch me suffering
how does it feel to watch me suffering while i'm
wishing you well
even though you're with someone else
and nothing but the numbness helps
when there nothing to do
stuck in my room with these thoughts of you
wishing you well
even though now you're someone else
couldn't tell you how it felt
how much it hurts seeing you
so different now its what distance will do

baby i'm wishing you well
scratching the walls in my cell
the clarity rings like a bell
if only i could say farewell
to the winds that carry me
into the shadows that follow me
they will treat you well
don't forget to carry me
in your heart 
feed my body to my enemies

self destruction (feat. LOCAL ZERO) [prod. Charlie Shuffler]

Just a little something we were working on and never released :)

Cover of "If It Means A Lot To You" by A Day To Remember 
Guitar and Mixing by Shinigami
Recorded in 2017

shinigami + shy - If It Means A Lot To You (Acoustic Cover)

credits:

@4evergone
@charlieshuffler
@kellbender
@pxlm
@supachefm
@guccihighwaters

i will never be a memory

download

rnrn (prod 4evr x shini)

pretty thing (prod. 4evr)

i say fuck too much (prod. curtains)

ft. @steadysuffer & @violeteyezmusic

prod. @mothfries

lyrics:

1080p dreams:

I still feel your blade from getting stabbed in the back
every day sets the stage for a panic attack
I wake up in the morning, don't know how to react
so my mind slowly builds to a panic attack
it just hit me one time
collapsing to the floor and it isn't even lunch time
I woke up this morning, didn't know how to react
my whole life's like a never-ending panic attack
like a never-ending panic attack
like a never-ending panic attack
no more serenity, I'll never end up getting it back

banging my head against the wall
I just don't wanna feel anything at all
I'm getting ready for the fall 
spiking my own drinks with the methyl alcohol
always burdened by my actions
can't stop dwelling on all my past awkward social interactions
convince myself they never happened
memories I try to just pretend that I imagined
this throbbing vein in my temple is making me tremble
it's painful and stressful
I'm up late trying to wrestle with voices
my shoulders have an angel and devil
he's so good at persuasion
but my angel's trying to save me from this hyperventilation 
she gave me a paper bag for respiration
he handed me a plastic one that I could suffocate in

steadysuffer:

ya you told me i was nothing like they said
you told me I was better off dead
now i gotta pull up to the function all red
pull the trigger now i'm dead
(ya ah)

she don't wanna talk no more
pedal to the metal & the suicide doors
got a coper on my ass so i kick it in sport
no breaks just gas cause life is short

i'm sippin lean all day
and my sprite bottle lookin like a goddamn grape
get the fuck up out my way 
don't tell me we're the same
i'm in another state with my shawty on facetime

ya I ain't been on a date in a long time
if I fuck up i'll accuse her
you must think i'm a loser 
if i can't keep a conversation 
i'm sorry

violeteyez:

Where are you? And I'm so sorry
I was too depressed to go to your grad party
And now I watch your new boyfriend 
pick you up on the back of his brand new Harley
Well, Barbie girl, do you miss me?
He's got a chopper and I got a 6 speed
So what is it this week? Who are you kissing?
Am I insane, or could this time be different?

And I know you'll cover it up like you do
You left your morals with your clothes: in my bedroom
And I promise that I didn't take all this-
lightly, though you tried to slip it by me
I just need some time, so sit tight, please
emotions give me anxiety

1080p dreams:

I still feel your blade from getting stabbed in the back
every day sets the stage for a panic attack
I wake up in the morning, don't know how to react
so my mind slowly builds to a panic attack
it just hit me two times
I'm in the ER and it's only half past noontime
I woke up this morning, didn't know how to react
my whole life's like a never-ending panic attack
like a never-ending panic attack
like a never-ending panic attack
no more serenity, I'll never end up getting it back

Stream on Spotify

panic attack ft. steadysuffer & violeteyez (prod. mothfries)

Lil Lotus- Nothing Left (feat. Scum) (prod. 5head)

PROD. https://soundcloud.com/prod5head
Video: https://lillotus.ffm.to/nevergetaway

Never Get Away

All My Little Scars, Vol. 2

What U Doin Up RN (feat. Drippin So Pretty)

new album 'nosebleeder' (deluxe) out now on Epitaph Records. lillotus.ffm.to/nosebleederdlx

Never Get Away

LIL LOTUS

Recent comments

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