You'll want to avoid these cliches in your DJ bio if you don't want people to tune out, which usually happens after revealing you've been interested in techno since five minutes after birth.

“Andy Whitby is not just a hard house DJ, he is an experience.

He is a state of mind.

He is the transporter of minds and souls to an amazing frantic paradise that, while leaving you knackered, strangely also leaves you feeling re-invigorated.

At 6ft tall and broad-shouldered, with his trademark shaved head, a chunky ostentatious chain around his neck, and immaculate dress sense (if its not designer, it doesnt go anywhere near him) he makes an imposing figure who commands respect.

His confident appearance is matched by his masterful control of a good mixing desk. Before each set he always powers down the previous track and leads the packed dance floor in a show of appreciation for the out-going DJ, before kick-starting his performance into a blaze of visuals, an orchestra of special effects which extracts every quality beat of each track as he begins his show.

To watch Andy DJ is part of the Whitby experience. Cocky? Perhaps, but certainly not arrogant, Whitby is now in control of the minds and bodies of his audience. A very precise and confident body language gives a visual indication to what he is playing as he acts out each track.

Yet, he is not dancing; this is something far more emotional. Imagine watching a porn star having hot, rough, yet passionate but dominating sex to a breathless, wailing lover which, in this case, comes in the shape of a mixing desk. Forceful, dominant, aggressive yet somehow tender and caring. The visual impact allows your body to further immerse itself in the ecstasy he is submitting you to; your ears alone cannot possibly absorb everything that he is throwing at you.

As for his sound, imagine every track as a partially completed canvas. Through the use of effects on the mixing desk, Andy adds his own colour, texture and feel as he maximises every beat of every track to create the unique Whitby sound. His precision mixing at incalculable speeds is part of the show; as each track mixes in you can positively feel the dance-floor going up a notch to keep up with the frantic and energetic DJ that has them all by the balls.

No need for some boring bio about who spins my tracks and where Ive played...Im just a hip-hop dj that discovered house and techno 3 years ago and immediately became addicted and started playing it with my friends ever since....and sometimes I like to make music.

Followers of lipyce