as we're talking i lose my high

Bells On Trike - Apparatus Must Be Earthed

body eating spirit.

bandcamp: https://bulldogeyes.bandcamp.com/track/funny
youtube: https://youtu.be/KgihGXiblC4
website: https://bulldogeyes.com
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empty on the coast
buildings board windows
pretty pictures broke
like peace on a placid plateau

statues stand post
we weep for a growing ghost

knife behind the cloak
that running joke
fake laugh til you choke
funny how that's all folks

funny

and i’ll say, 
“this not good enough for you?”
for my sake,
could you please give us the room?
and bend your shoulders into my neck

and i’ll stay,
bended over talking to
your last day,
when you lifted me in bloom
and i felt better under your skin.

and i
i’m too young to cry like this for all my life
and it’s not right

and i,
i need you by my side,
but i still feel alright
i still feel alright

and i
i’m too young to die
with all this hate inside
inside my mind

and i’ll say,
“this not good enough for you?”
“could you please give me the room?”

not like this please

bean sprout

written + recorded february - march 2014 in my bedroom. for my baby ched, my friends and myself. thanks to anyone who i made listen to this and begged for feedback. enjoy xo

"at a church in the daylight
hide away in all of my regrets
maybe deep in the water
find myself lost in its grips
fading soft; a memory
illuminating everything
forget all that you owe me
i’m leaving behind all of my debts

saw you once in a daydream
and every once and awhile in my head
i’ve been waiting awhile
to try to love myself
and now it’s all just remembrance
of a thing i thought i had said
i’ll go away for awhile
come back and hurt instead"

remembrance

[Intro]
You talk about me like I’m a monster in your story
But you’re the one writing fiction soaked in fucking glory
I was living the truth while you flipped every scene
Now my name’s in your mouth like a villain in a dream…
Damn… who’s the villain here?

[Verse 1]
You painted my love as a toxic disguise
Turned every tear into alibis
Played victim in a palace of lies
While I was drowning in your pretty replies
Every laugh was a knife in slow motion
Every kiss was a curse in the ocean
You rewrote my pain like a bedtime tale
Left me screaming inside your fucking veil
Mirror cracked but you blamed my face
Said I ruined your perfect little place
But it was your hands doing all the harm
While I was praying for a piece of calm

[Pre-Chorus]
If truth was a weapon, you’d be unarmed
So you bent the facts before I could be heard

[Chorus]
Damn, who’s the villain in your twisted narrative?
You write me off like I’m destructive, manipulative
But every lie you told just pulled your mask apart
And the real fucking damage was inside your heart
You point the finger just to stay the queen
Of your own self-made tragedy scene
But I won’t drown in your fictional art
Damn, who’s the villain from the start?

[Verse 2]
You choreographed pain like a perfect show
Tells the world what you want them to know
I was the “problem”, I was the “curse”
But you rehearsed every line of the worst
Gaslight flames in a velvet tone
Made me doubt what I’ve always known
But clarity cut through your fake concern
And I watched your empire start to burn
Not from hate, not from rage inside
But from truth you couldn’t fucking hide
And when your lies finally met the light
They collapsed like a castle in the night

[Pre-Chorus]
You tried to erase me with your pen
But truth doesn’t die, it just sharpens then

[Chorus]
Damn, who’s the villain in your twisted narrative?
You twist the words just to make me the negative
But I survived your psychological crimes
While you’re stuck reliving fabricated times
You tried to drown me in your made-up past
But I learned my worth and broke your grasp
No more shame, no more chains, no doubt
Damn, who’s the villain now?

[Bridge]
You needed me broken
To feel whole
You needed a monster
To avoid your own soul
But I see now
Clear as day
You were scared of the truth
So you pushed it away

[Breakdown]
Every time you spoke my name
You fed your ego, played the blame
Oh, you almost had control
But I reclaimed my fucking soul

[Final Chorus]
Damn, who’s the villain in your story now?
When the truth is standing and taking a bow
You said I’d crumble, you said I’d fall
But I’m the one standing through it all
You tried to bury me in your lies
But I rose high through broken skies
And every chapter you tried to spin
Just proved who really fucking wins

[Outro]
One day the mirror will tell you the truth
And you won’t have me left to accuse…
Until then, keep writing your lies…
But know the truth is still alive.

as we're talking i lose my high

Loser Pointer