Grace Manger is the internship coordinator of Adios Barbie. Bridget Whitlow, M.S. LMFT is a licensed psychotherapist who focuses on eating disorders. After National Eating Disorders Awareness Week, I asked Manger and Whitlow about how to support a friend or loved one going through an eating disorder or recovery.

Eating disorders are complex, devastating and are still not openly talked about. When we suspect a friend or loved one is suffering from disordered eating, we’re  unsure what we can do to help. Online communities, such as Adios Barbie, provide places of support and knowledge for people with eating disorders.  Grace Manger is the internship coordinator at Adios Barbie. 

MANGER:
They’re not diets gone wrong. They’re serious mental illnesses that happen to manifest themselves in these physical ways and in these physical behaviors. 
 
Manger said one of the best ways to help someone is to learn more about eating disorders. 

GRACE MANGER:
Educate yourself about eating disorder myths and your own preconceptions of eating disorders. That eating disorders are about vanity. They’re about you’re appearance only. That eating disorders only happen to affluent white heterosexual cis-gender women. Both of those things aren’t true. Men get eating disorders. Trans*folks get eating disorders. Queer folks get eating disorders. Eating disorders don’t discriminate and no eating disorders are the same, which also means that no two recoveries. 

She said stopping “body talk,” which is talking about your or other bodies, is another way to support someone. 

MANGER:
And what I mean by that is engaging in the kind of diet talk that has become so habitual for so many of us. Saying things like “no I shouldn’t eat that” or “that’s too many calories.” Things like that. That can be really harmful and really triggering for people working through their own eating disorders.

Manger said she often suggests prioritizing your own self-care. Self-care could consist of physical activities, meditation or taking time to read a book. Self-care varies for every person.

MANGER:
Supporting someone through this is very difficult. It’s important to take care of yourself too, so you can be of service to them, because if you’re not taking care of yourself first and foremost then you won’t be able to support them the way that they need. 

Bridget Whitlow, M.S. LMFT is a licensed psychotherapist who focuses on eating disorders. She gave advice on how to approach a friend or loved one with disordered eating.

WHITLOW
The most important thing is to express concern one-on-one in a nonthreatening way. Use just a gentle tone, and be very specific in your concern, and also stick to your own experience. So rather than leading with “you’ve done this”, say “I’ve noticed you haven’t been eating lunch with us anymore and you don’t come out with anymore at night. I’m really worried, and I just wanted to check in with you and see what’s going on.”

Whitlow also provided helpful resources to share.

WHITLOW
The Academy for Eating Disorders has many informative videos, so you can give them the website, aedweb.org.  Another thing you can do is share a link to an anonymous screening, an eating attitudes self-test. That’s at eat-26.com. That can be something they do on their own, get anonymous feedback, and that could be really informative. 

Further connect with Grace Manger on twitter at @gracemanger and Bridget Whitlow M.S. LMFT at @bridgetwhitlow

Image Darren Tunnicliff/Flickr



https://www.flickr.com/photos/darrentunnicliff/3326794804/in/photolist-64YGc7-52C46S-7PVp7f-3KrqEs-6YbyeG-7CiZeM-aS9gvZ-5AULXj-fzXXnL-8oci5J-5AULX9-5TkUB9-5AULXh-8pUWP5-4CbjsR-6JP4wK-biuZ5c-ezWGJu-73Afcw-nwsHf7-85iDqm-4c1DN8-9ogyLp-7Z4Zy3-S1Uzc-6ZzKMd-dnaLhD-7FdsHV-591eG5-dJgq6r-3zPww3-4SGAm5-7CVqkj-3yj1Ha-5d2NJ6-4zX6cy-ouSU6-9RERzW-3jgJGF-5HjfSZ-5AULXd-8WKD3Z-5TrZbb-annh2j-93Mh2A-ezWF49-a3LjyM-7FcYcp-4FuCmZ-4FZUK4

Supporting A Friend or Loved One with an Eating Disorder

Couples both the Songify This tracks and the opening theme from the show itself.

Supporting A Friend or Loved One with an Eating Disorder

Lucy Vernasco

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