precious sounds

The future has become some joke
Some little giggle for someone
Who is not me. 

These knuckles in my back
how this healthy young man
(i somehow lost)
got to be so goddamned old?

it's not that i can't stand 
but god has played a trick on me. 
Broken my back.  

you're better wasted.  you're better wasted.
(make amends for what you did before)
(making you par for the course)

it's not like i've
ever believed
ever been me
ever been free.

the future has become some joke.
some little giggle for someone who's not me
these knuckles in my back
how this healthy young man
how this healthy young man got to be so..goddamned old
goddamned full of thoughts you could not believe
i have changed
into better things 
better drink to better days.
it's not like we've been here before, 
or you've ever had hope for me.

it's not that i can't stand...
but god has played a trick on me
broken my back
beautifully.

you can always smile from here.  
you can always smile from here.
you can always lie from here.
you can always lie from here.



A Wishing Wanter.

just like psysyphus should have
jumped off of that cliff
you release it 
and slide down the hill again

can't seem to witness your
confounding blemishedness
treat being a  miser
like a conquest woven from madness
you're forgetting forgiveness and
maligned with your illness
it's not like these aren't your best years
it isn't just a mingling doubt 
you should fear?
you've lost your premise
and drowned the ideas you'd beholden.
to your breast.

does this story sound familiar?
do these quandries make your self discontinued?
you can tell your heart that you 
forgot to
be in love again?
or ever trust again?
or ever be yourself again?

(lies, and lies, and lies)

it's not what you'd planned on
a trail of 
things
you've broken.
words you'd never spoken
left you at the bottom
of a crevass you had dug yourself in
it's forgiveness
it's forgiveness
it's forgiving all the promises you have broken
there's a silence in the way 
you have spoken
it's lies and lies and lies
it's a lot to cover up with your eyes

i won't help anymore
and i won't help you anymore
there's only a false distrust
there's only things you couldn't cough up
there's a little bit left you would solve
if you had the balls.

make nooses like it's a harness
choke the love out of your distress
no one believes you anymore
no one be leaves you any more
it's a truce you can't harrass
it's a direction you can't encompass

it's just thoughts
it's just thoughts
until it becomes something you act upon
you lack upon
you lack of
you lack of

poor, poor, psysyphus,
should have hurled himself off of that cliff
should have opened his wounds 
and embraced this distress

poor, poor, psysyphus
just waited for atlas to rub his jaws off
to shrug this ball  off
to get his hard on
to get his heart off
(and i can't forgive you
because i am you.)

it's sadder than distance
it's company in your lonliness
never come through this mess
just love atlas less.
just love atlas less.

Unnamed

Existing After Never

(I'm hardly a man)
(or what one's supposed to be)

it's not like i can't stand
but god has played a trick on me
broken my back
beautifully.

(you're better wasted.)
(just like your dreams.)
(you're better wasted like your hopes and dreams.)

you can waste away your days
make your breath
and break your place
be afraid of everything you said
you would lock up this
ruin inside your head
it's not like things are gonna change
anyways..

i'm hardly a man
but god has played a trick on me
made me stand on my own
too long
for me to believe

if you just 
take long, long, long, breaths
you won't drown at all.

(better waste it.)

it's a 
wrong way to be
and a 
long way from me

it's 
(your heart)
it's
selflessness

it's the way you hold your head
(it's the way you stare)
it's the times you forgot to sink
when you forgot you couldn't swim

(forgot you couldn't swim,
  you forgot you couldn't swim.)

it's not like the drowning's a problem when you
take the time to notice what's going on round you
it's not like the drowning's a problem when you
take the time to notice what's wrong around you.

A Wishing Wanter (Little Square Devils version)

Dystopia

"is the light all over? is the shine all dead? 
has the protruding distaste encumbered the asinine solutions?"

Existing After Never

Lukas Abrhm