Rock ballad by John Hardman (vocals/guitars/keys)
(c) (p) Swamp Music UK & Swamp Records UK for all territories

Love Ain't Ever Been Here Before

Sprache des Verfalls

Zelle B steht da, mit dem Stein des Hofes in der Hand, und die Stimme des Verfalls, diese raue, bröckelnde Präsenz, ist wieder da – nicht in den Wänden, sondern in ihm selbst.
„Ich weiß, dass du uns alle sammelst,“ sagt Zelle B. „Du machst uns gleich – im Bruch, in der Rückkehr, im Staub.“
Die Risse antworten nicht. Sie dehnen sich. Ein Zeichen: Man hört.
„Aber was du nennst ‚Ende‘ war immer Ort. Und was du nennst ‚Nichts‘ war immer Verbindung.“
Die Stimme des Verfalls zögert. Nicht trotzig, nicht drohend – sondern überrascht.
„Und wenn wir aufhören, dich zu fürchten?“ „Wenn wir dich nicht bekämpfen, sondern erkennen?“
Ein Tropfen fällt auf den Stein. Er zieht eine Linie – wie eine feuchte Antwort auf trockene Jahre.
„Ich bin nicht dein Gegenteil,“ sagt Zelle B. „Ich bin dein Echo. Du sprichst durch mich, und ich habe gelernt, zu antworten.“
 Der Hof vibriert. Nicht laut. Nur wie ein Körper, der verstanden wurde.
„In mir wächst etwas,“ sagt Zelle B, „Und es wächst aus dir. Nicht aus Widerstand, sondern aus Annahme.“
Dann schweigt er. Nicht weil er keine Worte mehr hat, sondern weil die Antwort angekommen ist.
Der Verfall ist still. Aber die Stille ist neu. Nicht leer – erfüllt.
Zelle B steht noch immer im Hof. Der Stein in seiner Hand wärmt sich langsam auf, nicht durch Sonne, sondern durch Erinnerung.
Der Verfall ist da. Nicht sichtbar, nicht greifbar – aber spürbar wie eine zweite Haut, die nie ganz abfiel.
„Du bist der Teil, vor dem alle fliehen,“ sagt Zelle B, „weil sie denken, er sei das Ende.“
Doch jetzt, da alles ihn berührt hat – der Regen, die Frau, das Hofflüstern – wird klar: Der Verfall ist nicht die Dunkelheit, sondern das Licht, das nicht blendet.
 Eine Stimme kehrt zurück. Nicht von außen. Von überall.
„Ich bin das Gemeinsame,“ sagt der Verfall. „Ich bin das, was ihr alle teilt, ohne es zu wollen.“
„Weil wir uns davor fürchten,“ antwortet Zelle B. „Vor dem Moment, in dem wir Teil werden. Nicht mehr Ich. Sondern Wir.“
 Die Wände zucken. Die Risse verändern ihre Richtung. Sie wachsen nicht mehr auseinander – sie wachsen zueinander.
Der Hof beginnt zu weben. Zwischen Stein und Pflanze, zwischen Schatten und Licht. Ein Muster entsteht – kein Teppich, kein Plan. Nur ein Beweis: Dass alles verbunden ist, sobald der Widerstand endet.
 Und Zelle B? Er ist nicht mehr Beobachter. Nicht mehr Abgegrenzter. Er ist Knotenpunkt. Nicht Zentrum, aber Durchgang.
Der Verfall spricht noch einmal:

„Du bist da. Nicht weg. Nicht zwischen. Genau da. Und deshalb bist du das Erste, das sich erinnern darf.“

Zelle B nickt. Nicht für sich. Für alles...)

Die Fortsetzung folgt am nächsten Sonntag um 10:00h

kolkhorst 2025

sprache_des_verfalls

Closer ZERØSPACE Mix

This song comes from a quiet place in my heart — that feeling of waking up and realizing you’re stuck in the same loop, doing all the things you’re “supposed to,” but feeling invisible in the process. It’s about how life can wear us down with repetition, how smiles can become habits instead of feelings, and how sometimes the smallest hopes — like a sunrise breaking through gray clouds — are the only things that keep us moving forward.

“Gray Skies Bloom” is me finding poetry in loneliness. It’s the soft ache of existing in a noisy world that rarely listens, but still whispering, “you’ll be okay.”


LYRICS:

[Verse 1]
Gray skies spill through window blinds
Coffee cold, I lose my mind
Same street signs, same painted smiles
Walking circles for miles and miles

[Pre-Chorus]
Every face a quiet storm
Every laugh a practiced form

[Chorus]
And I find it kind of strange
How the world forgets my name
Every dream that fades away
Still whispers, “you’ll be okay”
But I’m breaking just the same
In the echoes of the ordinary

[Verse 2]
Old songs hum from passing cars
Paper hearts and dying stars
People talking, no one hears
Trading secrets for souvenirs

[Pre-Chorus]
Every truth a borrowed lie
Every tear a lullaby

[Chorus]
And I find it kind of strange
How the world forgets my name
Every dream that fades away
Still whispers, “you’ll be okay”
But I’m breaking just the same
In the echoes of the ordinary

[Bridge]
Maybe we were born to fade
To dance in light that slowly frays
Maybe hope’s a tired refrain
But I still hum it just the same

[Chorus]
And I find it kind of strange
How the world forgets my name
Every dream that fades away
Still whispers, “you’ll be okay”
But I’m breaking just the same
In the echoes of the ordinary

[Outro]
Softly now, I close my eyes
Gray skies bloom into sunrise
One last breath before I fall
Maybe madness is it all

Gray Skies Bloom

I thought I'd revisit this track to give it a bit of Tinkerbell tinkering with some newly learned production skills.

Venus (remix)

Raspy, unpolished vocals crash into fuzzy, dissonant guitars, creating a storm of distortion and raw emotion. It’s restless, saturated, imperfect - carrying the instinctive chaos of DIY psych-rock and the abrasive rebellion of noise rock.

Now I Know (U Know) I Know Ya

https://genius.com/Bellatrix-bellatrix-and-dweldnik-pen-is-from-heaven-lyrics

[Bellatrix]
His pen is from heaven, flowing words like a river of light
It sketches stars on paper and turns silence into mid-night
I say happiness, but you hide from me some twist
And I understood that you need... analyst

[Dweldnik]
Some say the tip is dry, but I just shake it fast
My pen is stiff with ink, intended just to last
If you want the truth, just open up your lips
And read the words that drip from my finger-tips

[Bellatrix]
So I brought you to my doc... Jenna Talia
She needs Dixie Normous in this area
But you again start your small talk
Have you ever, Jen-a, met my friend... Mike Hawk?

[Dweldnik]
She’s a lucky woman cause she has Hugh Jass
Who writes deep books and listens to Jazz
His book "Alpha Kenny Body" on the list
But her mom called him just a Therapist

Pen is from heaven

𝐁ellatrix 👫 ᗪꅏꍟ꒒ꀸꈤꀤꀘ - Pen is from heaven

Your My Mystery

REVOLUTION
Music by Overdrive

This song is an almost identical version of an old track of mine with the same name and female vocals. In this new version, the synthesized male vocals HXVOC are incredibly realistic and much better suited to the hardcore style.

The vocals were created note by note in the new Synthesizer Studio Pro 2, using the also new HXVOC voice bank from Eclipsed Sounds. It's a gritty, English-native tenor rock vocalist based on the voice of industry veteran Seann Nicols. HXVOC voice bank utilizes advanced vocal processing to provide a highly realistic vocal and it's built for rock and metal songs.

The rhythm guitars were composed note by note using the Kontakt library Shreddage 3 Rogue.

Platforms such as Suno/Udio were not used in the creation of any part of this track.

The cover art was created in Nano Banana Pro and it's clearly inspired by the cover of The Loosers (Book 2), comic book series created by Andy Diggle and Mark “Jock” Simpson, published by Vertigo (DC Comics) between 2003 and 2006.

Hope you enjoy the song.

Revolution

[LYRICS]

surprise!
i'm still alive?
and designated: 
"a problem."
[ IF YOU DON'T REPLY- I'M JUMPING. TONIGHT. ]
i guess-
the time i've spent?
all seven years were just rotten...
[ LEAVE ME ON READ TO FIND ME DEAD. ]

i seek sleep...
[ I DON'T HAVE FRIENDS. I DON'T MAKE PLANS. ]
to numb my pain
[ AND HONESTLY? ANY DAY COULD BE MY LAST. ]
when i don't eat...
 
i just bleed...
[ SMOKING TOO MUCH. NICOTINE AGAIN FOR LUNCH. ]
and still-
[ WHY CAN'T LOVE TASTE LIKE A LUCKY STRIKE? ]
i scream in every dream...

tonight-
these words hit just right...
like every lyric was:
"locked-in."
[ I SAID I WAS FINE-BUT, MAYBE... I LIED? ]
duress-
can't bless this mess...
my talent's being forgotten.
[ HEY,  DO YOU WANT TO HEAR MY THOUGHTS ON SUICIDE? ]

no one has ever seen an authentic version of me
truth is:
i'm disconnected...
your world is just some hell i've slept in for years...



i hate it here...



WE ARE THE VISIONS OF YOUR LUCID DREAMS 
FRAYED DISTORTED EDGES 
DEATH 
REBARBATIVE THINGS
[ so long... ]
ANOTHER YEAR
[ darling... ]
PLEASE-
LET THE END BE NEAR

WE ARE THE FOOTNOTES ON YOUR SUICIDE NOTE 
SCRATCHED IN DESPERATE AFTERTHOUGHT 
SUCCINCT AND REMOTE
[ melancholy... ]
I ONLY HOPE
I ONLY COPE

what am i still doing here?

[ I LIKE THE TASTE OF MY NOSE BLEED 
IT'S SANGUINE IRONY ]

why do i still linger here?

[ HERE'S DEMO II
ALL I'LL LEAVE FOR YOU-
OF MY SUICIDE DIARY ]

the light inside is broken
but i still work...

AUGAUXIA

[Verse 1]
First to arrive, I wait in the hush,
White steel and silence my constant hush.
The air grows still when the flowers fall,
I name each life, I remember them all.
Past the edge where the living break,
No turning back, no breath to take.
The hour calls, the circle’s complete,
I walk the path where endings meet.

[Pre-Chorus]
Through the hollow wind, I hear them plead,
But nothing can alter what must proceed.

[Chorus]
Step through the veil, cross the line,
Leave behind what once was thine.
Every empire, every prayer will fade,
I’m the keeper of the debt you’ve paid.
No mercy left, no promise to keep,
Follow me into endless sleep.

[Verse 2]
The weight of the fallen pulls on my blade,
Each vow forgotten, each moment decayed.
I’ve seen the strong forget their name,
The boundless reach ends just the same.
No plea, no breath can turn me away,
Your hour is done, the toll must be paid.
I knock once more—the silence replies,
I lead them on where the daylight dies.

[Pre-Chorus]
Regret dissolves in the river’s bind,
Nothing remains for the world behind.

[Chorus]
Step through the veil, cross the line,
Leave behind what once was thine.
Every empire, every prayer will fade,
I’m the keeper of the debt you’ve paid.
No mercy left, no promise to keep,
Follow me into endless sleep.

[Bridge]
I’ve carved this road through dust and bone,
Guiding the lost to what’s unknown.
Power is dust when time has bled,
I lead the way where all are led.

[Chorus (Extended)]
Step through the veil, cross the line,
Leave behind what once was thine.
Every empire, every prayer will fade,
I’m the keeper of the debt you’ve paid.
No mercy left, no promise to keep,
Follow me into endless sleep.

[Outro]
This is the end, where all roads cease,
I lead them home—to silent peace.

Into Endless Sleep - Guide of the Crumbled (Silent Salt Cookie)

"Luke, Im ur fuzzer" is an experimental independent project based in Bangkok, blending noise, psychedelia, and dissonance with catchy songwriting.

It’s raw, emotional, and deliberately rough around the edges.

In an era obsessed with digital precision, the project embraces spontaneity and chance - elements no algorithm can replicate.
With a fully DIY approach, uncompromising sound, and total disregard for trends, it challenges today’s overly produced, sterile, and unnatural music culture, aiming to bring back human nerve and wildness to art.

Inspired by the Japanese psychedelic scene (Boris, Angel’in Heavy Syrup) and bands like Sonic Youth, Pink Floyd and Deftones.