essence

new me

see u again

entry log 1 (show me)

resume

suffocate me until i turn blue **OUT EVERYWHERE**

Bleed

give me a chance

prod. grayskies

[LYRICS]
I remember what you did
You told me that you’d stay
I gave you my whole heart
And you just threw it all away
What we had it wasn’t perfect
But I still think that I’d say
I really really loved you
Even if it was all fake

And somehow I still wish you stayed

I knew we weren’t perfect
But I still tried to wait
I thought it would get better
Could you tell me if I’m late
I’m trying to find the feeling in my heart
That your love gave
This love I can’t forget
And now I realize it was fake

Oh what do I do?
I still think about you
Oh what do I do, I do, I do
Oh what do i do?
I still think about you
Oh what do I do?

I remember what you did
You told me that you’d stay
I gave you my whole heart
And you just threw it all away
What we had it wasn’t perfect
But I still think that I’d say
I really really loved you
Even if it was all fake

And somehow I still wish you stayed

I knew we weren’t perfect
But I still tried to wait
I thought it would get better
Could you tell me if I’m late
I’m trying to find the feeling in my heart
That your love gave
This love I can’t forget
And now I realize it was fake

I remember what you did
You told me that you’d stay
I gave you my whole heart
And you just threw it all away

fake

[LYRICS]
Sometimes I wish you never came
I was fine before I heard your name
But then you came around and changed me
Now I'll never be the same
Oh will I trust again
Troubled minds am I insane?
No you're the one to blame
No you're the one to blame
Girl you're the one to-
These nights I've cried my tears go fast
I've got nothing left for me to last
I can't take no more, of the lies oh can
I lean on you before I collapse
Still stuck in the past
Oh I might collapse
Sometimes I wish you never came
I was fine before I heard your name
But then you came around and changed me
Now I'll never be the same
Oh will I trust again
Troubled minds am I insane?
No you're the one to blame
No you're the one to blame
Girl you're the one to blame

(adlibs for 2nd drop)
Am I insane? please tell me now
I might collapse, my legs feel hollow
You let me fall you let me down
I can't get up myself please  tell me how

prod. Rick Hardy

collapse

[LYRICS]

You pierced my heart right through my chest
I didn’t want this thing to end
Now I’m bleeding out my body
Would you hold me till I’m dead
Hold me till I’m dead
The blood you’ve spilled my darling
Both your hands are stained with red
So hold me till I’m dead
Hold me till I’m dead
Please just hold me till I'm-
It hurts my heart to say your name
The cadence of you brings me pain
Act innocent but you’ve got stains
Like falling glass I feel the rain like my tears
Got cuts that you might fear
We're not the same my dear
So save yourself
And get away from here
You pierced my heart right through my chest
I didn’t want this thing to end
Now I’m bleeding out my body
Would you hold me till I’m dead
Hold me till I’m dead
The blood you’ve spilled my darling
Both your hands are stained with red
So hold me till I’m dead
Hold me till I’m dead
Please just hold me till I'm dead
So hold me till I’m dead
Hold me till I’m dead
Please just hold me till I'm dead

till I'm dead

[LYRICS]

I smelled the scent of your sweet perfume
It reminded me how it was with you
I was so happy, I was so confused
But I didn't care cus you loved me too
But then it slipped away
I noticed that you wouldn't say
Those words I loved, our love decayed
But now it's the same
I still reach for you every time I sleep
While our promises turn to memories
When I say your name in prayers I repeat
Is "no" heaven's answer to me
Is this insanity? You're bad for me
Like if only you knew how many times I've begged
For God to bring you back to me
The moonlight in the trees, I've bruised my knees
While kneeling on my bedside hoping that you love me still
How can you sleep
How can you let it be   
I never thought we'd ever fall apart
In the end but  here we are
Broken pieces, shattered bones
I've got no one to call my home
Heaven knows I want you back
Cus when I'm alone
I still reach for you every time I sleep
While our promises turn to memories
When I say your name in prayers I repeat
Is "no" heaven's answer to me
Is this insanity? You're bad for me
Like if only you knew how many times I've begged
For God to bring you back to me
The moonlight in the trees, I've bruised my knees
While kneeling on my bedside hoping that you love me still

heaven's answer

DON'T YOU WANNA TRY

Suspended in time

Blinded (run away)

Type of love

The Jian (don't let go) re prod

I'll still love the sky

where did you go

Without you

Tell me if you feel it now
Tell me that you saw it coming
Tell me how you really felt
And if my love to you was nothing
Tell me that my heart’s allowed
It’s allowed to feel something
Tell me what’s inside your head
Cus I can tell that something’s up
And lately I’ve been feeling stuck
Lately I just want to run
The absence of my happiness
My skin and bones are numb
And I still bite hard
Both my lips have scars
Would you tell me for real
If you think about us
Tell me if you feel it now
Tell me that you saw it coming
Tell me how you really felt
And if my love to you was nothing
Tell me that my heart’s allowed
It’s allowed to feel something
Tell me what’s inside your head
Cus I can tell that something’s up
Tell me if you feel it now
Tell me that you saw it coming
Tell me how you really felt
And if my love to you was nothing
Tell me that my heart’s allowed
It’s allowed to feel something
Tell me what’s inside your head
Cus I can tell that something’s up

Something's up

[LYRICS]
They say it heals with time
I think that's hard to find
What's "healed" could you please define?
Cus these seconds wasting mine oh
I got these scars all on my wrist
So overwhelmed I feel so pissed
I gotta bite my cheeks and lips
So I can hold it in
Let go
Let go
Couldn't hold it in for you my love
I'm sorry for what I've become
I know you hate to see me like this
But what's done is done
They say it heals with time
I think that's hard to find
What's "healed" could you please define?
Cus these seconds wasting mine oh
I got these scars all on my wrist
So overwhelmed I feel so pissed
I gotta bite my cheeks and lips
So I can hold it in
Let go
Let go
Couldn't hold it in for you my love
I'm sorry for what I've become
But what's done is done

let go

[LYRICS]
AM I A SURVIVOR WHEN I'M HARDLY ALIVE?
IT SHOULD'VE BEEN ME THAT DIED THAT NIGHT
HOW I WISH THAT I'D LISTENED TO YOUR SILENT CRIES
I'D GIVE IT ALL FOR ONE MORE CHANCE TO TURN BACK THE TIME
IF ONLY I KNEW THAT WAS OUR LAST GOODBYE
I'D HAVE HELD YOUR HANDS AND STARED INTO YOUR EYES
IT'S STUCK IN MY HEAD TOOK ME BY SURPRISE
IF ONLY I COULD READ WHAT YOU HAD IN YOUR MIND
AM I A SURVIVOR WHEN I'M HARDLY ALIVE
IT SHOULD'VE BEEN ME THAT DIED THAT NIGHT
HOW I WISH THAT I'D LISTENED TO YOUR SILENT CRIES
I'D GIVE IT ALL FOR ONE MORE CHANCE TO TURN BACK THE TIME

survivor

[LYRICS]
Last week was a blur, can't remember if I slept 
Miss you so bad it hurts, get out of my head
If only I could cut thread
I would wish you were dead
But I love you instead
Even though I know you'd break my heart again
Oh break me again
I couldn't care what you said
And I know that I need you still
So come on back and break my heart again
No I don't wanna learn, don't wanna accept
I wish I was sure, but it's you that I kept
Last week was a blur, can't remember if I slept
I just want a break, get out of my head
Get out of my head
I don't wanna accept
But I know that I need you still
So come on back and break my heart again

insomnia

[LYRICS]
Run away, I'm not coming home
Nobody here, been all alone
Not a single soul, for way too long
At the waters edge, where I belong
Now I'm drowning, could you take me home and tell me that it's fine?
I've been lost tryna find out what's in your mind
Can you even hear me when I cry?
Do you even listen when I cry?
How long will it take for you to realize?
Gave you a million tries
You let me down a million times
Said you'd come back for me
Now tell me was it all a lie
Somehow I'm not surprised
Your love had wandering eyes
You looked for someone else and
I guess that's why I
Run away, I'm not coming home
Nobody here, been all alone
Not a single soul, for way too long
At the waters edge, where I belong
Now I'm drowning, could you take me home and tell me that it's fine?
I've been lost tryna find out what's in your mind
Can you even hear me when I cry?
Do you even listen when I cry?
How long will it take for you to realize?
(Would you take me home and tell me that it's fine?)
(I've been lost tryna find out what's in your mind)
(Can you even hear me when I cry?)
(Do you even listen when I cry?)
(How long will it take for you to realize?)


Drowning

[LYRICS]
I think I'm seeing ghosts in my head again tonight
I'm all alone in my bed, ain't got no lights
And ever since you left I can't think right
Am I alive or dead, oh  I can see the ghost of you
And I'm not trying to
But I can't get you out my head
Countless things I could've said
Haunt me inside my thoughts
If you could understand the nights I've lost too
My brain just won't turn off
Too many memories it just won't stop
I can't live without you, eat or sleep
And your voice keeps playing on repeat
Oh do you understand what you mean to me? I-
I think I'm seeing ghosts in my head again tonight
I'm all alone in my bed, ain't got no lights
And ever since you left I can't think right
Am I alive or dead, oh  I can see the ghost of you
And I'm not trying to
But I can't get you out my head
Countless things I could've said
Haunt me inside my thoughts
Understand the nights I've lost too
My brain just won't turn off
Too many memories it just won't stop
I think I'm seeing ghosts in my head again tonight
I'm all alone in my bed, ain't got no lights
And ever since you left I can't think right
Am I alive or dead, oh  I can see the ghost of you
And I'm not trying to
But I can't get you out my head
Countless things I could've said

ghosts

[LYRICS]
You make my head go round
I can't tell just what you're thinking
You never make a sound
And my patience, girl, is thinning
No I can't read your mind
And no none of us is winning
Don't wanna play charades
So I'll just sit here singing
My brain is spiraling
Overthinking what to think of you?
oh you, oh you
Too much of everything
Overstimulating I can't play this game no more
You're insufferable
And I can't help but fall in love
So uncomfortable
But I'm addicted to this stuff
Baby you're all I need
Oh do you want me too?
I'm begging on my knees
Anything just to have you
My brain is spiraling
Overthinking what to think of you?
oh you, oh you
Too much of everything
Overstimulating I can't play this game no more

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