Skull’s a padded cell, lined with panic
Each thought ricochets off the bone
Brain's swollen with static
But I’m trapped here, alone

The pressure builds behind my temples
Jaw tight, eyes twitch, neck sore
Every whisper turns violent
Then loops back louder than before

I blink but the images stay
Thoughts like fists that won’t decay
This isn’t noise, it’s a drill
Boring into me against my will

My thoughts have me in a chokehold I can’t tap out of
Tension winding tight from the inside up
Skull cracking from the fight I breathe
Trying to scream through locked teeth

Can’t think, can’t sleep, can’t make it stop
Headlocked in a pressure I can’t drop

Sinuses swell with rage
Forehead pulsing red
Every idea’s a jackhammer
Breaking peace inside my head

The crown of me’s gone sour
My cortex coils like wire
My brainstem’s burning hours
Fueling thoughts I can't retire

I chew on silence, grind it down
But even quiet starts to pound
Every nerve’s a fuse that’s lit
Inside this cranium I can’t quit

My thoughts have me in a chokehold I can’t tap out of
Each throb a verdict I’m unworthy of
Tension locked in my frontal lobe
Clenched so hard, I implode

Can’t breathe, can’t blink, can’t make it stop
Headlocked in a brain that forgot how to drop

There’s a war behind my forehead
A riot under skin
No one sees the bruising
But I’m breaking deep within

My temples count the seconds
In pulses loud and grim
If thoughts could leave bruises
My skull would cave in

My thoughts have me in a chokehold I can’t tap out of
Clawing through my brain like it's not enough
Nerves snapping like rubber bands
Cranium cracked by my own hands

Can’t breathe, can’t blink, can’t make it stop
Headlocked, and it’s all I’ve got

My mind is the cage
My skull is the lock
I built this pressure
Now I can’t make it stop

Headlocked

Mama’s got that faraway look
Lipstick smudged on picture books
Microwave meals, TV laughs
While I hide my wrappers in the trash

Told me I was her little treat
Chocolate cheeks and sticky feet
But bedtime came and so did screams
The kind that echo into dreams

She said, “Don’t worry, love, I’m fine”
Then bit her nails down past the line

KitKats—
I was just a KitKat—
Sweet enough to split, too easy to forget
She’d break me off, then break again
Trade my silence for pretend
I smiled like sugar on her tongue
But every snap undid the fun
Wrapped me up in store-bought hugs
Then left me melting in the rug

She used to hum my lullabies
Now she just stares with candy eyes
Red foil dreams on paper plates
I learned young how sugar breaks

Cartons piled beside her bed
Crumbs like words she never said
She loved me best when I was still
When I stayed sweet and didn’t spill 

The couch became a second grave
Where all her broken KitKats stayed

KitKats—
I was just a KitKat—
Sweet enough to split, too easy to forget
She bit the parts that made me whole
Then blamed me when I didn’t fold
A treat she’d save then throw away
When pain returned and skies turned gray
She snapped my love like candy wood
And said, “You’ll heal. You always should.”

Snap, snap—can you hear it now?
The sound of love that’s not allowed
I crumbled quiet in her lap
She kissed my cheek, then took her nap

KitKats—
I was just a KitKat—
Sweet enough to split, too easy to forget
Now the foil’s torn, and I can see
I was a snack, not family
She left me half in plastic wrap
A sugar kid in her relapse
Not broken—just uneaten yet
Still waiting for what love forgets

Snap me once, I don’t resist
Snap me twice, I cease to exist
Put me back in silver sleeves
Say I’m sweet, then let me leave

I was just a KitKat...
And you never finished me.

KitKats

The room is quiet, shadows in the corners,
Your hand brushes mine and my chest swells.
Nothing speaks but the hum of our hearts,
Every breath between us a secret spell.

Fingers trace lines we can’t put into words,
Every glance lingers, tethered and sweet.
The world falls away, leaving only us,
In the silence, our hearts drum in sync.

I lean in closer, every inhale is yours,
Your warmth filling the space where sound is gone.
A quiet storm of pulse and skin,
Every touch a whisper we can’t hide.

Gilded silence, honey dripping for us
Buzzing quiet, hearts beating without fuss
Golden hush, nectar trails in the air
Only we can share

Soft sighs float like golden dust,
Every heartbeat a signal I can trust.
Your presence lingers, warm and near,
In gilded silence, only we appear.

Buzzing quiet, hearts beating loud
Golden threads weaving us in a shroud
Every pulse a secret, sticky and sweet
In this silence, only we meet

Gilded silence, honey dripping for us
Buzzing quiet, hearts beating without fuss
Golden hush, nectar trails in the air
Only we can share

Gilded silence…
Buzzing hearts…
Golden stillness…
Forever honeyed…

Gilded Silence

You call my name from across the room and act shocked when I don’t turn around,
then whisper to your friend that I’m stuck-up, distant, or too good to hear the sound.
You roll your eyes like I’m choosing silence, like I’m brushing you off on purpose,
when the truth is your words never reached me, never broke the surface.

You speak behind me, beside me, halfway across a crowded space,
then blame my “attitude” when I don’t react the second your voice hits the place.
It’s funny how quickly I become the villain in your little social sphere—
I’m not cold, not rude, not distant…
I just didn’t hear.

If you slowed down, faced me, or cared enough to be clear,
you’d see I’m not avoiding you—
I’m just trying to exist in a world built on what I can’t hear.

I’m not ignoring you, I just didn’t hear,
but you turn my silence into attitude every single year.
You judge my face, my pause, my delay,
like I planned not to answer what you tried to say.
I’m not distant, not heartless, not playing aloof—
I’m navigating chaos you mistake for proof.
I’m not ignoring you—
I just didn’t hear…
but somehow you make my silence the sin you fear.

You get mad when I don’t laugh at the joke you made on the other side of the noise,
like timing is a privilege I can summon on command, like I perform reactions like toys.
You say, “Wow, she didn’t even respond,”
as if I caught a single cue,
as if your words weren’t lost in the ocean
that separates me from you.

Then you label me “antisocial,” “weird,” or “off to herself,”
never once considering the possibility
that it’s your assumptions—
not my deafness—
that put me on that shelf.
You make my misunderstanding a crime,
my silence a flaw,
my delay an insult…
when all I needed
was one moment more,
one simple adjustment,
one ounce of grace that you never saw.

Maybe if you faced me, slowed down, spoke like communication matters,
you’d stop mistaking distance for rudeness
and see the truth beneath the shatters.

I’m not ignoring you, I just didn’t hear,
but you make it a personality trait every time you misinterpret the atmosphere.
I’m not cold, not careless, not choosing to disappear—
I’m living with delays you decided to sneer.
You take my silence personally, like it’s some kind of dare,
but it’s just the distance between your voice
and the volume that isn’t there.
I’m not ignoring you—
I just didn’t hear…
but you turn my confusion into something severe.

Don’t call me rude
for not reacting to a sound I never caught.
Don’t call me distant
when your lips were moving in a place my eyes were not.
Don’t call me cold
because you whispered from the wrong side.
If you want my attention—
face me.
It’s not attitude,
it’s access.
Stop acting surprised.

I’m not ignoring you, I just didn’t hear,
but your assumptions turn every missed word into a spear.
I’m not a problem, not dramatic, not hard to be near—
you’re just offended by a silence
you refused to make clear.
If you want connection,
meet me halfway this year—
I’m not avoiding you…
I just didn’t hear.

I'm Not Ignoring

All songs are written and sung entirely by me — every word, every melody, every story comes straight from my own hands. There’s no AI involved in the creation of my music. 

If you want to read along, all lyrics are included in the song descriptions.

I'm Not Ignoring

maevenoireofficial

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