Embrace it

John gay man

main pop girl 2019

DEFAULT GENDERS

i'm alright

Lesson（DEMO ver.）

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Life Is Easy

Everything I Ever Wanted

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NOW ON SPOTIFY : https://open.spotify.com/track/2Dz7lCvcPhbpYtq9rQ4W2y?si=5a4f2c185b56425c

inspired by: @w3bcam @cedricmadden  @embersee @noctilucents @avril23 @kfour9 and @5-0-0

beautiful girls (ambient)

User2222 - ya soshla s uma

yeah i heard about you - you're at the age when 
even your friends are all now starting to lose their patience. 
2006 futuristic is now just ancient 
2015 and you're still out here on the same shit 
what looked prodigous at one point now just seems immature 
your friends won't come out to shows with you nearly as much as before. 
but who can blame them, i mean who wants to suffer the risk 
of being the one old guy in a room full of kids? 
i mean, shit, who wouldn't find that embarrassing? 
besides you, apparently 
girlfriends menudo cuz they do go when they grow up 
find someone new though, some new youth who don't scare you as much. 
some new excuse to feel like you're still not losing your touch 
even though if at all it's often recalled with disgust 
outside of therapy, not once ever even discussed 
like they're afraid if it got out, people would judge 

[liberals] if you're so smart, then why aren't you rich? 

yeah, i heard about you - back in the day when 
everyone was so sure they were gonna make it 
that it was not just the tools they'd used to make shit 
it's a mistake early adopters [are] always making 
always acting like it's a commercial 
acting like life is a big commercial 
companies that used to have you hitting adblock 
they hit you up *one time* and you're like, "ads rock!" 
and holding too many free drinks to shake hands 
making too many contacts to make friends 
and doing too many key bumps to keep track 
of how often your chump change has changed hands 
in front of cameras that those people at parties had 
like an aesthetic constitutes a political act 
that one day turns into some kind of residual check 
a lotta people out here still probably waiting for that 

[trust fund kids] if you're so smart, then why aren't you rich?

vietato calpestare i prati

[narrator] 

eddie used to say that it was almost like a room 
that you had to hit the fourth plateau to even get into 
and time folds in upon itself if you can make it through 
and your past and future selves are all inside waiting for you 

and he says: 
"that's how i always know just what to do." 
brenda, is that true? 

eddie says it's wrong to think of time as like a loop 
he says people perceive cycles cuz they can't handle the truth. 
"it's more like spinning plates," he says. "it's delicate, aloof 
and it's all gonna break down one day and there's nothing we can do." 

and he says: 
"i think it's gonna happen soon." 
brenda, is that true? 

[eddie] 

in the heat of the war 
are you scared or are you sure 
that when your knees hit the floor 
you will know what you are? 

[narrator] 

well, we got to the funeral bout quarter after two 
less than a week after brandon used a white belt as a noose 
he wiped his seratonin after eddie broke the truce 
all the pills they found were yellow, but it's clear he had the blues 

and he said: 
"baby, i did it all for you." 
brenda, is that true? 

[eddie] 

in the heart of the storm 
as you swing back and forth 
we all have roles. this was yours 
it was ordained when you were born 

in the midst of the swarm 
small mistakes start to form 
something big - something more 
a nagging thought: a deathless roar 

[narrator] 

well, the basements in this city are all portals into hell 
and the saints built their basilica in an attempt to quell 
any influence of demons on the kids that tend to dwell 
in the gulf between macalester and a wright county jail 

and i guess: 
i guess it's gonna have to do. 
and you know that's true.

reverse chronological order (part 1)

brenda and eddie were the popular steadies, and the king and the queen of the prom 
so he was the first to be asked where he thought she'd get heroin from 
the cops had some thoughts of their own about photos they saw from that night 
but nothing conclusive - just talks with the usual low level guys. 
to make it more potent, they'd mixed all their dope with a fentanyl spike, 
and the reality is that fatalities hit new and terrible highs 
cuz that tends to be the main difference between like, a tyical night 
and this doctor's disturbingly stubborn refusal to say she'll survive

[computer] how do you feel? 
[spock] i do not understand the question. 
[amanda] you're half human - the computer knows that! 
[spock, shaking his head] the question is irrelevant. 

remember when eddie was giving her plenty 
of reasons to wish he was gone? 
asleep on the couch with some lines he'd cut out 
and the TV still on. 
a flickering light that persists through the night, and an audible hum 
ocarina of time droning endlessly on from the dusk until dawn
sometimes she would wake up and suddenly find herself draped in his arms 
other times she would pass him while going to class and escape from his charms
"i love him," she'd think to herself as she left, "but i think he forgets that i'm young. someone my age, i just should not be wasting my time here replacing his mom" 

[a folk singer] here we go - can i get a goddamn timpani roll? to start this goddamn song? tonight!! 

brenda and eddie had started already by the time i called up from out front 
with gigantic eyes i'm like, "where did you guys get this ketamine from??" 
half of the way into all conversations i'd just let my side of it drop 
it must have been good, cuz no one understood what i said when i'd talk
in some deep dark corner we'd all find each other, and try to detach from the mob 
just to dissolve into laughter without ever speaking at all
years could have passed while we sat trying to act like we weren't so completely fucked up 
generations of strangers replaced by their ancestors as we just sat there and watched

reverse chronological order (part 2)

if this is a dream, 
i don't wanna wake up. 
it feels so good to me 
like, i can't get enough 

i feel like i'm in a coma 
it feels like i'm in a dream 
baby 
i feel like i'm in a coma 
it feels like i'm floating 
baby

pharmacoma (for ben deitz)

when it's over [ft. no rome]

on this one i used some sounds from "play pack 1" by @instupendo and the "red kit" by @verzache

at christmas, in the basement 
fuzzy memories. it's difficult to place them 
was it peaceful? were you patient? 
with me or the predilection i had for staying 
out of the papers, job placements 
anything that might have taken time away from 
all of the scams i was running on the days when 
i lacked excuses or the wherewithal to make them 
back in uptown - back to basics. 
in the fitting room fiddling with the blade's edge 
cut off the tag so i can walk it away and 
take it to everyday people which is adjacent 
if they don't want it, i can buffalo exchange it 
what if they catch me? ha, let's face it 
i know the cashiers here. they do the same shit 
the CEO is an asshole, and the pay's shit 

he's always hiring these girls who are in grade ten, 
i heard that he's gone on record as hating gay men 
the way i tend to abstain from making payment? 
that's just the way that i'm fighting discrimination. 

anyway man, what do you say, then? 
i call my guy up, we can go all of the way in 
we can get wasted! even more wasted than 
my EBT and your major in illustration! 
this city hates us - more than it loves prince, 
white rap, black tar, and the replacements. 
or washed up rock stars who never made it, 
talked up so hard and never played since 
at all the usual spots here, acting famous 
but nobody knows who they are in other places 
but they can pay rent? well, okay then. 
i've got a gift card, you think that we can trade it? 
my parents got it cuz they thought it was a safe bet 
preventing this was their entire motivation. 

at christmas, three of us blazing 
in the parking lot of a bar you were DJing 
i think the bridge fell - not that day, but 
recent enough that everything still kind of felt strange 
kept getting texts from people asking if i was OK 
i got this one from this girl who was my roommate. 
i owe her money cuz of all the times she saved me 
getting my rent when it was way more than a month late. 
it's been so long since i have even seen her first name 
but there it is again - "not trying to make it a thing, 
just want to know that no one i know is buried underneath 
that giant pile of debris they keep showing on TV" 
now, here we are getting drinks - the floor as clear as can be 
none of the regular customers came 
you guys are both getting paid 
to keep no one entertained 
and me, i'm just up here in the booth drinking and taking up space

christmas card from a scammer in minneapolis

bg vox by @bethsawlts

i had a dream that 
one day you showed up 
at where i work and you paid 
all my student loans off 
like it was nothing 
oh like it was nothing 

i had a dream that 
it was the morning 
and i wasn't waiting for my iphone 
to start ringing 
i was just sleeping 
oh like it was nothing 

today somebody told me they want the old me back 
i know, i know, i know - somebody had to hold me back 

today somebody told me they want the old me back 
i know, i know, i know - nobody who knows me 
wants the old me back 

i had a dream that 
my dress got ripped but 
i could just go out on my own and 
buy a new one 
like it was nothing 
oh like it was nothing 

i had a dream that 
i was fifteen and 
i could see everything that 
was about to happen 
and i could stop it 
oh like it was nothing 

today somebody told me they want the old me back 
i know, i know, i know - somebody had to hold me back 

today somebody told me they want the old me back 
i know, i know, i now - not even the old me 
wants the old me back 

it's like you always told me 
it's like you always said 
once i could feel it starting 
there i was at the end 

it's like you always told me 
it's like you always said 
i got my arms around it 
that's how you know it's dead 

it's like you always told me 
it's like you always said 
i can't just choose what people 
do and do not forget 

it's like i always tell you 
it's like i always say 
baby, i'll always love you 
to your eternal shame

sophie (emphasis mine) [ft. beth sawlts]

the way the wind starts to bite us as we step outside
the impersonal pressure of her hand on mine
i know, i know, i know

the way i signal success to you with bright wide eyes
oh, that you catch a glimpse of in between strobe lights
i know, i know, i know

do you feel it?
do you feel it or don't you?
well i used to, baby
but i'm not sure i still do

do you feel it?
do these tired old lies feel true?
well i used to believe them
but i'm not sure i still do

the way we all come together as the tempo spikes
and get in line for the bathoom, two or three at a time
i know, i know, i know

in the back of a taxi at the end of the night
is it love, or intertia, or are we just tired?
i know, i know, i know

do you feel it?
do you feel it or don't you?
well i used to, baby
but i'm not sure i still do

do you feel it?
do these tired old lies feel true?
well, i used to believe them
but i'm not sure i still do

when we were young the future looked so bright
now that we're closer, we can see that it's on fire
i used to think the best was surely yet to come
and now sometimes i think i'll die before it does

do you feel it?
do you feel it or don't you?
well i used to, baby
but i'm not sure i still do

do you feel it? 
do these tired old lies feel true?
well i used to believe them
but i'm not sure i still do

checking in with the old gang

Chibi ♡

based on a story
prod @tvnicks

dedicated to Node
i know ur still out there somewhere

update; Node has returned and is home safe

planes 3 w tvnicks (full movie)

Kiss Me 😘

cascadia subduction zone

cypress grove

hey hi hyd

www.facebook.com/eddrewett
www.twitter.com/Eddrewett
www.youtube.com/user/EdDrewettVEVO

Blink

Honey Pot

(@prodnomu)

luv u guys thank u for waiting again <3 here is a song i wanted to drop on my bday

the sample is "still feel it all" by maro

//
my friends call me dumb
so I start to believe it
say it's a joke
but I know that they mean it
I know
theysay I'm never there
that I should spend more time with them
that's a funny idea

Cuz my friends are at home
And lately ive felt so depressed and alone 
Im back where i started like 3 years ago

and i constantly fail to show all my affection
and all of this shit builds up all of this tension
I wish I could give her the things she deserves
but keep fucking up I'm not learning my lesson
I'm dumb
I'm no fun
I have so many things in my life that are keeping me up
I fuck up anyways
it's almost as if I just throw it away

and my girl’s the best
she wakes up my phone with a good morning text
and makes sure to buy me my favorite gifts
and tells me goodnight after blowing a kiss
Yea i kno
But shes 3000 miles away
Telling me everything is okay
Always fuck up so im taking the blame

A little bit smarter, A little more strong 
A little bit better at accepting my flaws
A little bit faster when i answer your calls
A little more effort when im writing these songs

chorus

a few months ago I was living so well
peaking my mental and physical health
now I'm here
in the back with a face full of tears
in need of help but there's nobody near

**
But its fine
Cuz Ill take it one step at a time
Its okay if i cry
So i’ll keep it together
Cuz one day i know that this sht will get better 
**

checking in with the old gang

default genders