James Bondage II

I pinpoint–and blame–the 1999 movie The Virgin Suicides (based on the incredible Jeffrey Eugenides book of the same name) as the origin for my romanticism of secluded, picturesque female teenage ennui and pain. The original film score by Air perfectly conveyed the very particular privileged realm that I imagined beautiful adolescent girls operating within. As a not-so-beautiful adolescent girl, I was fascinated by the premise of a troupe of neighborhood boys wholly obsessed with a set of stunning, enigmatic sisters in a suburban wasteland not unlike my own. 
 
The type of beauty embodied in The Virgin Suicides is an innate, inborn one, commented on at length by the young male narrators. It is also a classically blonde, American one. Through my Semitic awkward-phase gaze, I looked upon the Lisbon sisters as an ideal despite knowing it was not one to which I could practically aspire. 

Relevant to note here is that they don’t really DO much. Their mystique was grounded in a presence suffused with a palpable absence; and obviously, ending their lives (not a spoiler since it’s in the goddamn title), which abruptly and alluringly removed them (as active characters) from the local boys’ chronicles, only furthered the latter’s captivation. The 5 sisters start out parentally sheltered, and only become increasingly so, to an extreme, once the suicide contagion invades the God-fearing household. 

The collective gushings of the pubescent male narrators made me think of a slim book I recently read, On Beauty and Being Just by Elaine Scarry (also 1999), in which the author explores how the phenomenon of beauty affects our daily lives. One of her most compelling points involves the concept of the “radical decentering” – or “opiated adjacency” – we undergo upon beholding something beautiful. Referencing Simone Weil, Scarry writes that beauty requires us “to give up our imaginary position as the center…A transformation then takes place at the very roots of our sensibility, in our immediate reception of sense impressions and psychological impressions.” No longer occupying the “center of our own world,” we “willingly cede our ground” to the beauty before us.

More than anything else, I wanted to possess that power.
And maybe I still do.

The Not-So-Virgin Suicides (prod. Aaron Lepley)

i am the captain of my fate
laughter is possible
laughter is possible
laughter is possible 
ahahahahahahaha

i’m de-programming 
black + white spirals stay cursing my eyeballs
yeah i’m de-programming
extricating myself from the hallowed halls of mating calls 
yeah i’m de-programming
stalking + stabbing my own simpering stockholm syndrome 
yeah i’m de-programming bitch
no more sex slavery, and no more forever happy home 

i’m swinging from every vine at warp speed
like how monarch martyrs in the holy wars bleed 
this escape artist’s scaling barbed wire fences
now she only requires the past + future tenses 

say i’m constitutionally incapable
like a baby’s shakeable 
they got me when i was one
miss me, it’s unmistakable 

under the skin like ex machina
it’s death in your own 4 walls
they meet to practice false alchemy
my meat practices falling off the balcony 

he was a tom cat in a top hat
referring to himself in third person
and i swig-swallowed that
in to a hollow vat 
they swarmed him like jungle gnats 
before their souls all went splat
a dengue fever dream 
a true believer’s high-pitched scream 

invade uncanny valley like a pep rally
they’re coming for me i’m not safe
so i cram myself into my own holes
slip-slide down all the oiled poles
i can’t help but leak everywhere
peek behind every cheap jump scare 
it’s just too much for me to bear

my gyroscope’s off kilter 
the center cannot hold 
helter-skelter this face melter 
living year-round in a bomb shelter 

spectre hanging over tranquility 
horse tranqs cover up any fragility 
chosen for my fecund fertility by his virility 

he promised the prophecy
proffered up the progeny
referring to ancient calendars
of suspect caliber 
as i prepare to insert the catheter 

it’s his church
i’m right here, bleeding
dark web torrents seeding
he’s on a birds eye view perch
so call off the her-i-knew search

dr. sidney gottlieb got me 
now watch the menace molt
feel the penance jolt 

that’s something i can attest to
he promised i’d be blessed too 
so jump sinking ship before judgment day 
begrudging i refuse to stay, refute the pay

unraveling parchments of verses
it’s day doctors versus night nurses 
so chase your tail, stay beyond the pale 

MK ultra, in the umbra, mea culpa
i was so gulpable but he’s still culpable 
digging thru the cult rubble 

i’m de-programming 
black + white spirals stay cursing my eyeballs
yeah i’m de-programming
extricating myself from the hallowed halls of mating calls 
yeah i’m de-programming
stalking + stabbing my own simpering stockholm syndrome 
yeah i’m de-programming bitch 
no more sex slavery, and no more forever happy home

baby stick with me + i’ll grant you salvation
stick n poke at his personal ptolemy space station 
swiftly turning to a wolf from a 101 dalmation 
be my pupil + prepare for your pupil dilation
 
cloak + dagger, stroke + splatter
slivers of silk on a silver platter 
tend to bacchus like a summoned satyr 
suck the fluids of his overfilled bladder 

obtained redemption via sensory deprivation
it’s all outlined right here in my deposition 
go deeper, deeper til we reach detrition 
this is divine damnation

fate’s as inevitable as this finger i’m pointing
but even so you won’t ever catch me anointing

Deprogramming (demo)

coax all creatures in to my hollow now they’re held hostage 
and my hideaway, my abide-away doubles as a hospice
get out of my clutches? need a priest + a locksmith
we all know women form a mental monolith
never divvy up the winnings
cuz i live to make a killing
all these ancient weapons
all this doomsday prepping
stallions have gone extinct 
off to celestial precinct
but i’m not done yet, ride myself into the sunset 
just some naked body draped in silk, marred by steel
prototypes cannot stand but unwilling to kneel
i’m never even keeled or tightly sealed
i swear i’d kill - even with no plumb plea deal
mind always oscillates
body just stays fossil bait
tamed + made it docile, this hate
sing gospel at heaven’s gate
i’m bejeweled, molten core: no time to cool
i bless their scalps with drops of drool
cowards don dunce caps at the duel
are you disturbed by this sinful syntax?
i’m afraid you’ll have to pay a thin skin tax
even uncontacted tribes take my bribes
whatever i prescribe, 
they’ll beg for another taste of bitter brine

proceed like a piglet thru the dense thicket
it’s ripe so pick it, had tits so he dicked it 
he had such a nice skull until i bricked it
fuck the girls, haze frats instead
spit or swallow? fill vats instead
beg to differ with the inbred
haunt dreams like pinhead
organized as a 13-year-old’s closet
hit you fast like a direct deposit
no peephole + no peeking in my pocket 
deep down, depleted in a pleated skirt
plead for him to make it hurt
had to masticate mud for years to hit pay dirt
crack an egg on your head, let the yolk drip down
you all drowned without even becoming proper nouns
why be tough when you can stay tethered + tender
why craft a response when you can return to sender
only for you, i turned on my read receipts
these grotesque games only bred deceit
don’t cure shit, i exacerbate symptoms
i’m the vile virus in your computer systems
tried to put me to sleep with a nursery rhyme
but i can’t be killed because i burst from slime
+ i’m well-versed in crime
when you’re with me, you have the absolute worst time

don't be a hero: stick to the regimen
it takes years to pick just the right specimen
only for the most special men 
my body's a game but you can't win it
intubated in just one minute
i plead out, you bleed out like when a grin splits 
wasting away for white collar crime
forget your name, make you holler mine
sorry, million dollar fine 
wreaking havoc on the flowers in the attic
i slither the stethoscope while you stay stagnant in the static
impaled but call it acupuncture 
tough choice between viper or vulture 
blame it on the corporate culture
walking past the empty storefronts
like how the peace corps hunts 
some whore stunt 
set to a boar’s grunt 
gotta hold back + demonstrate some constraint 
watch + learn, i'll teach you how to blow it like a cum saint
invade your home + declare squatter's rights 
unleash the hellish hounds, blood clot her bite

Cage'd Meat

lie to me like an expiration date
serving limbs on the amputation plate
every woman’s just corporation bait 
deja vu, i'm duplicating fate 
 
battle wet dreams of a pillow fight
die in dirt like a weeping willow might
fast learner: i make grown men cry 
your mind swirling like henna hand dye 
 
relentless like a dental hygienist
plotting murder over a light breakfast 
you hunker down over a spreadsheet
don't even know it yet, but you're dead meat 
 
white bed with canopy: i’m staying chaste
tubes tied, thighs glued together with paste
we bail: i skip town, you dodge the draft 
this bitch only knows how to botch the craft 
 
forget etiquette with forbidden fruit
it finally happened: a smitten brute
never licking clits, just licking boots
reform your ways or get bitten mute
 
the formula’s perfect as the sistine 
prick the pageantry, now it’s pristine 
born from snakes, got the hiss gene 
your face in movies, so i kiss screens 
 
never the bride, i’m the bridesmaid
skimmed the subpoena, cried for days 
solve the crossword but hide the maze
locked in a cage, i'd just die to graze  
 
of course you're intolerant to lactose
tied you up in the cold: now you lack toes
only appropriate to wear black clothes
refuse to take any flack: i'm a pro
 
debutante destined to detonate
had to watch your own body bifurcate
with a gun, i break into the sperm bank
look at all the body parts in my worm tank
 
i’m not a giver, always a taker
matter of time til you meet your maker 
pointed to the calendar: picked a day 
bungled it: the bullets just ricochet 
 
i know how to light but not extinguish 
dream of 4 limbs like how wings wish 
i’m navigating life as a raw nerve
play it straight as a claw’s curve
 
hole a bag of tricks, no treasure chest
like baby birds with the severed nest 
precious punks line my courtyard
fuck glass ceilings, abort the shards 
 
arch my back for the marching band
parched, you swallowed sand on garden land
it’s time to curb your enthusiasm 
curb stomp you right when you orgasm
 
the premise is promised: it's paradise lost
been not only double- but thrice-crossed
predictable as a darkened dice toss 
and i freeze him alive with this ice sauce 

prepare your tastebuds: i make you taste bugs
when it comes to breastmilk, i waste jugs
it's like when they used to free-base drugs 
now they're sealed up: perfectly placed plugs 

you kill emotional support animals 
i'm loved like i stopped the invading cannibals
but i pause to dismantle your mandibles 
everyone gets it, says: that's understandable 

caress the contraband: now it's fated 
rip out the pacemaker, now you're hated 
won't miss your trial: the date's been slated 
been anticipating it, i waited + waited

with heavy eyelids, i'm crying cataracts
about as insane as how a mad hatter acts 
arrive like a satyr with the matter-of-facts 
you really can't miss the blood spatter tracks

worship like a subterranean supplicant
gorging on nutritional supplements 
and the supple skin of a succulent 
can't be denied the holy rite of sustenance

they say it’ll progress to sepsis
scissors to my hair: evil step-sis
she's infectious, still gives a strep kiss
pluck your soul out thru your solar plexus

Expiration Date (prod. Robbie Chemical)

not impressed by his thunderballs
i plunder malls, he goes under + crawls
i’m walking on the walls
wonder if he’ll survive this install 
i don’t offer an emergency call 

in here, it's always either suspect or victim 
she tolerated the game until she kicked him 
got a hold of his crown jewels + she gripped ‘em
picked up the documents + she ripped ‘em 

there’s no sex allowed in my combat zones 
so quietly, we devour the tomcat’s bones
like a bunch of prom brat clones
like he recites a holy psalm that moans 

stands guard at the gate, stays hard while he gapes
while she whispers “not all heroes wear capes” 
do the curtains match the drapes?
will he ever recover from this sex tape?

i’m filthy but i’m holy like a lord 
dirt cheap but still more than you can afford 
light as a feather + stiff as a board 
legs crossed as tight as a locked ward 
it takes time for the data to formulate
for revenge, i assume that form you hate 
oops, you came back to the dorm too late
so predictable: stalkers swarm the bait 

i transmit disease: venereal vector
just helping out: i’m a natural selector 
avid collector of men’s precious nectar
a public servant in the private sector 
 
he loves to be called a good boy,
with his mouth open wide like a dying koi
lay coyness to rest on this ground i’ve blessed
waste no time getting sacrifices undressed

won’t recognize him after this procedure
they say i’m anti-vaccine but pro-seizure 
i crush bones with boots + kill clones in suits 
on my suburban commute, i’m prone to shoot 

been hunting for years to find a real man
his corpse covered by my college meal plan 
i invoke the colonizers + steal land 
not satisfied til i pluck + peel strands 

i’m filthy but i’m holy like a lord 
dirt cheap but still more than you can afford 
light as a feather + stiff as a board 
legs crossed as tight as a locked ward 
it takes time for the data to formulate
for revenge, i assume that form you hate 
oops, you came back to the dorm too late
so predictable: stalkers swarm the bait 

i’m like if the blair witch drank some jet fuel 
reveling in the threat of duels with drool
my intentions can never be too cruel 
i throw him into the deep end of the pool

so nasty: he’s a bottom feeder like a carp 
i’m very sharp + i’ll play him like a harp 
come around like stomach flus, i'm sick too 
in church: bible paper airplanes + lick pews 

can’t believe he’s considered an adult
find it difficult? then join a different cult 
result’s him in a circus catapult 
injury’s so much more than an insult 

with steady hand, i prepare the poison 
say i’m celibate but i still let the boys in
i drip droplets like i’m meningitis
it's a calling: i bathe men in my piss 

i’m filthy but i’m holy like a lord 
dirt cheap but still more than you can afford 
light as a feather + stiff as a board 
legs crossed as tight as a locked ward 
it takes time for the data to formulate
for revenge, i assume that form you hate 
oops, you came back to the dorm too late
so predictable: stalkers swarm the bait

Thunderballs (prod. Aaron Lepley)

the golden man with the midas touch
is now the olden man who cries too much 
need both a cane + a crutch, such + such
at night, you crawl back into your brass cage hutch 

i have all the answers like i’m alex trebek
you present the gold ring + then i wring your neck 
i send you off to my personal gulag 
you’ll be burning forever like the yule log 

you yield because i wield a rusty box cutter
churn my collection into a crusty rock butter
i turn back time, so now the clocks shudder 
i control the world, so now the stocks stutter 

prove you’re useless again like an appendix
so crafty: capsize cocks + upend dicks 
i’m attila the hun, i’m a killer of sons
sold out in theaters, it’s a thriller with guns 

he may have a goldfinger but he lingers
position him right under my pistons + stingers
keep it going + going until he simpers 
gold splinters from a 3D printer in the winter 

drench the flora + fauna, flotsam + jetsam
look like you want some: so come + get some 
once i start, i can’t be stopped: i'm a duracell
was sentenced to life but i blurred that hell
 
produce sick like produce with e. coli
you’re locked in the freezer: why so cold, guy?
i need you to stay calm for the procedure
no chance you won’t limp away a true believer  
 
unlucky you're my next-door neighbor 
i suck on hard candy while you do hard labor
won't deny that i'm morally bankrupt 
when you're done, your underwear gets yanked up 

beware that heart of gold
teach you the art of mold while you wear this blindfold
tried to auction you off, couldn’t get it sold 
in a chokehold, you won’t ever get paroled

he may have a goldfinger but he lingers
position him right under my pistons + stingers
keep it going + going until he simpers 
gold splinters from a 3D printer in the winter 

he beckons you to enter his web of sin
i’m not dumb, got a ream of his wrinkled skin
replace my body with this glass mannequin
so many brains, it’s like i got a conjoined twin 

gotta pay out of pocket, each eye out of socket
got your corneas here right in this golden locket 
rock the wild frontier like davy crockett
i use a pipette to bottle all this cock spit 

some lives have to end, some knives have to bend
tend to my garden with a vital organ blend 
return to my cave, i’m about to descend 
you can pretend but you’ll never be my boyfriend

he may have a goldfinger but he lingers in
position him right under my pistons + stingers
keep it going + going until he simpers 
gold splinters from a 3D printer in the winter 

so many commas on my hit list
so many gods be my witness
if these soul-sucking spirits don’t get the fuck out of my business

Goldfingered (prod. Aaron Lepley)

suck you to bits, you call me your succubus of those binocular nights
i’m writhing on roofs and you’re watching, writing it down by candle light 
if it’s copulation that i cop with elation, it’s you who police the streets
but i pinky promise that you can one day be my beast that bleats 

used to viewing girls behind veils
pretend to be blind, it never fails
when you’re confined to braille
no need to see to grind the grail 

it’s a mirage, that playground love
i’m all grown-up, gowned + gloved 
used to push you off the monkey bars
now put the junk in the getaway cars

if you posture to perpetrate
don’t forget to usurp their fate
to slurp is to scorn the bowl + hurt the plate 

funny how the black hole’s genital 
but the milky way’s mental
my whole fucking body’s on hourly rental

in the gauzy chambers of our canopied beds
can you read the message buried deep in the threads?  
blood seeps thru the shred, you can keep the bread
it only serves to cheapen the sleeping + the dead 

what chance do we have if even god is jealous?
made all these changes + then didn’t even tell us
and the concept of christ, well, it no longer compels us

i’m content to collude + to contrive
intent to elude, take ‘em on a wild cunt ride 

i undo their zippers + buckles with a profound sigh 
got the weariness of local store checkout girls while you buy 

the cognitive cattle ride in to battle
hard to gallop when you’re the saddle 
feels better when i’m toothless
don’t let me loose, i’m ruthless
on the case, can’t help but sleuth this
to its natural conclusion 
your cock foams 
this her-lock holmes, it’s not an illusion 

autumn turned grim, it locked the sky in steel
my face needs a creampie thrown at it to feel
orphaned before organs met endorphins
the most engorged portions
exorcism as prelude to extortion

phases of matter, phases of the moon
i’m two-faced like a bitch born in june 
ass red as a baboon, i warmed up the tomb 
i’m that pesky thorn you kept trying to prune 

my silence flays you alive
violence that pays the piper to revive
we’re bursting through our fructifying flesh
fucked to death by this flying gilgamesh
i’m in tatters, i resist treason 
the holes you put in me let the breeze in
brain interfered with the breeding 
i get real comfy in crop circles
fruits of my IV keep the soil fertile
always first one out of the girdle

i climb up the walls, i crawl on the ceiling
i can’t survive without it so don’t you dare call it stealing

replies make less sense with each thrust
list credentials, leave cocks concussed 
sit back, watch the phallic flagellation 
proud to bear the badge of contagion 

i’ll take you down where sanitation fears to tread
with a spear to the bed
this is the year of the dead
please: can you do your best to appear interested in what i just said…? 

two sisters down…
two sisters down…
3 to go

do you want just me, or can my sisters come too?
do you like when the virus makes the blisters blue?
my whiskers are soft, my whispers are mews 
on the twisted transistor til the signal goes through 

only get a paper plate, this is no catered wake
perhaps we can revisit at a later date 
once the gator’s ate, but now i steal your spleen
like an ancient queen with the angel gene
i know, hard to believe i’m still only just a teen

got secret compartments in all my bibles
mass shooting in the news cycle 
performs tricks on command
got high jungle demand
had to cancel that whole fungal thing i planned 

for now, make love via mechanism 
how sad to end with a tiny speck of gism 

bring you pie like welcome to the neighborhood
work to death, but why? what makes labor good?
the traitor’s fit to slaughter like a silent saber should 

can’t get into this rectory
if you’re wrecked already (x3) 

sibling cult recruits cryptids with a cutlass
leave them gutless, cut them into cutlets 
whether it's with test tubes or bulldozers 
no one volunteered, i had no choice but to pull donors

we’ve spent years rotting on this trusty rusty rotisserie
murder she wrote: but tell me, what exactly is the whole mystery?

we hit puberty, next up: all hell broke loose
in these jail cells, there can never be a truce
i loitered once then got the death sentence 
waiting to be saved by the gallant sent prince

i sigh + send a specter to a suburb so still 
ate its herb, then it stomped me on a curb treadmill

it's really only a courtesy that i curtsy 
i stay up late to churn the butter until it hurts me 
lost our lease on life down in the pit of despair 
to save me, i need more than this prayer 

3 sisters down (x3)
2 to go

Bonnie

cracking open our own skulls at the crack of dawn 
if you must bleed, please go to the back of the lawn
hold back the yawns, hacked + shed too many skins
nothing left to maneuver within
there’s just manure within

we’re the girls gone, not wild like with wet t-shirts
wild like feral, self-harm threats under tight skirts 
ouch it hurts! perfect, that’s just what we want
got ‘goodbye cruel world’ notes scrawled in comic sans font

will we ever get to the heart of the matter?
and discuss how your precious art’s just blood spatter?
it failed to flatter 
grew up tortured in these gruesome halls 
but then we made a pussy pact + we grew some balls

the slit throat suggests something ominous
the split goat sacrificed for opulence 
we’re fluent in what fools the faint-hearted
the first flu hit + the patron saint parted 

waiting around, clawed ass with no proper usage
come see these deaths: broadcast’s a real exclusive
ends too brutal: it had to be closed caskets
clothed in masks then exposed in outfits 

all day, you hunch over world of warcraft
we’re out of place like girls in a war draft
we’re california dreaming, we’re pyramid scheming
we’re guaranteeing the guillotine is gleaming 

here’s the criterion: don’t cry, teary one
pose a query, devise a theory as the only son
such a lonely gun, without any loose lips around it 
we sink the ships, tie the noose with bound tits 
crowned the queens of the underground glitz

you’ll die in the flames of our hot pursuit 
pluck our trees: pay with your limbs per fruit 
only take a swim in brick boots, 
kick out the ladders, aim for the haloed heads + shoot 

holes leak, you slurp surplus of our sap 
a venus penis fly trap, genius with a back slap
this house of death disgorges debris, you’ll see 
the gorgeous corpses left behind from a suicide spree 

perish from the plague of perennial performing 
issue a fair warning padded with tissues, heartwarming 
haunting as sure to come as the amen that concludes a prayer 
all the pubescent boys prayed to be in our care, we swear 

if we go to the grave bony + mangled with mildew
what could some nosy neighbors’ phony good will do?
come back just to kill you, then relax with an advil stew
crazy girls with krazy glue, takes skill to be this cuckoo 

the locals never understood though they think they really tried
vigilant to the sibilant, fair-haired phantoms until the days we died 

it’s the pristine that lures in the disheveled
it’s the exception which interests the devil 
on another level with assailants in the asylum
female imprints filled with deep sighs + shy thrums

existence ceases, parents pick up the pieces
lick up police kits left by the knobs of the nieces 
it’s a hard job but someone in this room has to end my life
aboard the trolley to the tomb, i must commend the knife 
sibling on each side like a trusty sister wife

finally we can own our realm + our own roost
death sentence deduced while the sentience juiced 
sent where we’re free to wear whatever’s self-induced

we got the floor-length gowns, we got the knee-highs
got the elbow-length gloves….. now we die

Therese

sometimes what’s right turns out to be illegal
sometimes i scalp myself balder than an eagle

i was wrongfully convicted but still choose to execute myself
time to wave bye-bye to the makeup i got all cute on my shelf 
lather it up: i’m whipped cream, hot caramel + butterscotch 
they say the body is to die for, but the face is gutter-botched 

exhaust the flesh, take it piecemeal 
defrost ice with the parental peace deal 
had countdowns to our 18th birthdays
which now won’t ever come
had plans for our worth hidden in a maze 
which now death has struck dumb

reduced down to bone broth
single lightbulb, lone moth 
we’re absolved of all your sin
feathers slowly flattened out, evolved to poreless porcelain skin

heaven-sent out here, a pest simply crawling with pestilence 
but this isn't how the story ends, perp: i promise, it’s only the precipice 

i like autopsies but i loooove long walks on the beach
claw drop feeds the hawks who silence the sea leech  
the violence of free speech, out of reach

found out i’m pregnant but it’s not with meaning
go so hard, like a deep cleaning 
i'm post mortem while i'm postpartum 
got your engines oiled? ready? start 'em

they whisper: “she's slashing throats like heir to a will 
that lovely blonde hair for which i’d kill, 
a scare to thrill, just a spare bit for the drill 
i think she'll make it all clear with a disclaimer 
this isn’t a game to her 
she's sharpening the blade + can you blame her?” 

always wanted me to writhe, now beg, now show some leg 
lived life lithe, from drugs to dregs, more shell than egg 

before the final solution, one of them asks “is that an oasis?”
i turn, shake my head, rare steak in bed: “nah, there’s no way, sis” 

looks like a robbery gone bad yet there’s no forced entry
it all came direct from the sibling source, and ever-so gently 
the indian summer pet me, the windiest winter bent me
then i looked down + frowned + counted all the dents in me 

the answer was so simple, took a whole week to think up
your spit in a thimble, the chic get the drip cup, drink up
when i stop to inspect the human roadkill i don’t spill 
inject the slowed swill with a dose of binary code + free will 

she said it’s ladies’ night in hades, right?
crash the mercedes into heaven’s light, bright 
watch with the empathy of an accountant
body count too high + dry to calculate an amount
a mountain of fake bits + snake pits to squat over
wilting dead clover ended that game of red rover 

4 sisters down (x4)
only 1 to go…

Mary

rolled into the ER, my brief life full of regrets 
told i’m far too young to know how bad it all can get
but “doctor, you’ve never been a 13 year old girl”
i coughed up a pearl, my hair hasn’t curled
more + more unfree as it unfurled 

paramedics are now undertakers
turned me into a hunter of fakers
cocoon learned how to convulse
in time to cut my own pulse 

scalp ripped-out blonde locks with no keys 
inclined to beg but i got no knees
clones need to be cut down to the groan, please 

it’s bye-bye to this cruel earth
it’s all the drool that gives me girth
a fool to count that as my worth
a ghost song for a ghoul’s mirth 

mom + dad can’t look at my forearms
too bad i wasn’t born with more charms
a daughter can never do no harm

this is my adolescence, with built-in below-the-belt pain
please, i must know how to most efficiently melt my brain 

looked like a cleopatra, they said
i wish i was her, aka dead
i gotta make myself miniscule
and bring it down to the molecule

great i survived, i’m still alive, yay
despair when we pull into the driveway
here planning my window dive day

get led astray + get thrown off the scent
i’m right like the angles when my bones go all bent

double-jointed, slink to the summit
death rattle distinct, you can hum it
born mansion’d, now i slum it
it’s easy to solve this whodunit 

what if i were to go all cave crawler up in the cavity?
and/or graze globes with not even the slightest hint of gravity? 

this is my adolescence, with built-in below-the-belt pain
need to know how to most efficiently melt my brain 

pageantry of parental love
gentle dove meets dental glove
i jumped: wasn’t push come to shove
look up: it’s me as i come from above 

tied myself to the train tracks
no blindfold when my brain blacks
knock you out with my wingspan
now go ahead, kiss my ringed hand

party sucked, they were all so dense 
life story ends impaled on the fence
pale face, make it make sense 
i spared you from even more suspense 

last straw was their last taunt
at least now i know who to haunt 
flesh rots, they’re off in the yacht
lux need a noose, i’ll tie the knot

should have first shot up the mall + the fakes at school
because you’re never ever too small to break the rules 
they tried to diagnose what it was that was so wrong with me
died all gross, split like a spit-roast, i’m too strong to be free

one sister down… 
4 more to go

Cecilia

(prod. by aaron lepley)

rolled into the ER, my brief life full of regrets 
told i’m far too young to know how bad it all can get
but “doctor, you’ve never been a 13 year old girl”
i coughed up a pearl, my hair hasn’t curled
more + more unfree as it unfurled 

paramedics are now undertakers
turned me into a hunter of fakers
cocoon learned how to convulse
in time to cut my own pulse 

scalp ripped-out blonde locks with no keys 
inclined to beg but i got no knees
clones need to be cut down to the groan, please 

it’s bye-bye to this cruel earth
it’s all the drool that gives me girth
a fool to count that as my worth
a ghost song for a ghoul’s mirth 

mom + dad can’t look at my forearms
too bad i wasn’t born with more charms
a daughter can never do no harm

this is my adolescence, with built-in below-the-belt pain
please, i must know how to most efficiently melt my brain 

looked like a cleopatra, they said
i wish i was her, aka dead
i gotta make myself miniscule
and bring it down to the molecule

great i survived, i’m still alive, yay
despair when we pull into the driveway
here planning my window dive day

get led astray + get thrown off the scent
i’m right like the angles when my bones go all bent

double-jointed, slink to the summit
death rattle distinct, you can hum it
born mansion’d, now i slum it
it’s easy to solve this whodunit 

what if i were to go all cave crawler up in the cavity?
and/or graze globes with not even the slightest hint of gravity? 

this is my adolescence, with built-in below-the-belt pain
need to know how to most efficiently melt my brain 

pageantry of parental love
gentle dove meets dental glove
i jumped: wasn’t push come to shove
look up: it’s me as i come from above 

tied myself to the train tracks
no blindfold when my brain blacks
knock you out with my wingspan
now go ahead, kiss my ringed hand

party sucked, they were all so dense 
life story ends impaled on the fence
pale face, make it make sense 
i spared you from even more suspense 

last straw was their last taunt
at least now i know who to haunt 
flesh rots, they’re off in the yacht
lux need a noose, i’ll tie the knot

should have first shot up the mall + the fakes at school
because you’re never ever too small to break the rules 
they tried to diagnose what it was that was so wrong with me
died all gross, split like a spit-roast, i’m too strong to be free

one sister down… 
4 more to go

Cecilia (The Not-So-Virgin Suicides #1)

heard your negs straight from the horse's mouth but you're hung like a horse when my eyes roam south (dick) north by northwest hitch your cock up + out i'm in + out of your life like a jackhammer jack you off til you splutter + stammer i rejoice in correcting your grammar (dumb) i snort grams of your ashes your corpse covered in mysterious rashes (eww) killer beauty queen: slashing sashes got scrotums in several secret stashes (stacks) i trash talk you til i go blue in the face blue ball you til they're darker than deep space (sagan!) better learn your place + keep up your pace or you'll be MIA i leave no trace (ghost) i do MMA on your 401k 400 bucks an hour to make your day i make grown men cry when they watch their flesh fry like fish + chips i got the tits + hips my loose pussy lips sink shipssssss
all across the city: boys dropping like flies the common thread? their heads between my thighs all across the city i'm plotting your demise got a lot of time so i chop 'em at the spine
immodest proposal: bro do you even lift? i'm eating your kids like i'm jonathan swift (yum) but before they mature from sperm (cum) got your cock soaked like a rain-drenched worm only carry your bastard child half term aced the term paper by fucking the professor i'm hot for academia "yes sir" none the lesser mix cum and tears: food processor (smoothie) everything's a process everything's repressed (freud) everything that's not mine is excess (void) pull a PT Barnum: "this way to the egress" (bye!) need to pay to get back in to my holes you relinquished your cock now relinquish control (bitch) conquest list longer than the dead sea scrolls conquest list longer than your long term goals conquest list longer than bezos’ bankroll goessss

Dropping Like Flies (prod. theosyn)

when you get off your leash that’s a pet peeve stare at my cleavage it’s your cock i’ll cleave + no one will grieve so many sins up my sleeve call me eve i may not know you from adam but i still expect you to call madam i’m a madman making up maxims always take it to the maximum only magnums magnanimous? that’s a misnomer miss me with the man-filled manuscripts, homer got you malignant with melanoma my cunt’s got you in a coma spermatozoa spar for my ova jack off to your new jehovah now you’re a cuck no more casanova in my castle castrate like cassandra i prophesize but they don’t listen hissing while they curse + christen they tell me “get back in the kitchen” but my first aid kit’s more like a mortician’s i need more ammunition to massacre this mutiny distract ‘em with my nudity their sorcery under scrutiny brandish bruised boners brutally rock enemies’ enemas as jewelry + now it’s just you n me
i'm hellbent + hellbound riding a hellhound with no helmet held down vulva smooth as velvet pitchfork to your pelvic end your life story then shelve it
my cunt cloud’s got a platinum lining when i bleed you for all the bitcoin you’re mining whip up a blood tidal wave like the shining no longer dumpster diving now i’m fine dining pay a hefty fine if you disturb my peace butt dial 911 butt fuck the police ascend the throne with the stolen golden fleece i use mental trickery never elbow grease dissertation leaves you diseased + deceased so cease + desist crossed out on my hit list i hit with a clenched fist not a limp wrist get nookie like i’m limp bizkit you leave my drier than a triscuit so many talismans + trinkets say you love me: all you hear's crickets entangled in my thorns + thickets fenced in with barbed wire not white pickets i lick + pick pockets like a backstreet urchin you're in luck i'm a discerning urine merchant you slut shame but all my servants are serpents turned your heart to a hole + your hard-on to a hermit

Freak Off a Leash (prod. theosyn)

(this track was inspired by my 4th step inventory)

already killed your avatar on the sims already burned you alive + sawed off your limbs already ground you + sold you as slim jims already taped over your favorite church hymns with my bat mitzvah torah reading i report all the torrents you’re seeding in the afterlife i’m the whore you’ll be needing all you’re good for is bleeding + breeding to create a blond skater master race you fuck like a grandpa: need a faster pace it's more efficient to just masturbate i meditate while all the men marinate oops didn't mention my murderous history so let's solve this murder mystery i'm in the library with a candlestick and you just won't believe how i handle dick

binge watch law + order / make slaw out of my slaughters / i'm the corporeal contorter / obliterate brick + mortar

seems you’re just another chip off the old block when i compare yours to your old man’s cock get you both together then pop the glock mouth full of tacks: fuck the pop rocks cum + blood shine up my smock smite all dudes who disregard the clock when they’re tied tortured + timed or try to nickel + dime brined like a pickle but think they’re in their prime my cunt oozes green like nickelodeon slime but it’s a victimless crime cuz men are vermin and don’t count i chant my manifesto: sermon on the mount feckless with fluids they flow like a fount it's convents i crash and conventions i flout patch on my vest for every dead boy scout

binge watch law + order / make slaw out of my slaughters / i'm the corporeal contorter / obliterate brick + mortar

(shout out to my cat pippi, the silver hill 28-day residential program, my sociopath ex dakota, congregation sons of israel, and rhymezone.com)

The Slim Jim Hymn (prod. theosyn)

my fucking’s fodder for folklore 
left the peace corps to start a world war 
leave cocks looking like apple cores 
only suck off sphinxes + centaurs  
she sells sex acts on the seashore 
for sure was shirley temple now i’m sick 
sycorax in the tempest relentless 
beast of a biochemist 
to men i’m a menace 
make 'em grunt like pro tennis 
pound 'em then take a pound of flesh: merchant of venice 
knock tricks off my tenement’s trellis 
i’m a trendsetter you’re a bed wetter 
the internet assures you “it gets better” 
betting on battles royale + horse races 
out here repping all the horse faces 
fuck you just on a trial basis 
cocks maintain homeostasis, hack databases, bathe in an oasis 
my cunt dates to the cretaceous, i’m a whore on hiatus, crimes so heinous impaled ayn rand thru the anus

p-p-pink ribbon & bow for my maidenhead 
g-g-got my bow & arrow now i'm maidenfed 
you made your bed now lie in it 
i dug this ditch and i'll die in it

my exploits get me compared to the marquis de sade 
fuck with me i’ll key your saab 
save your sob story keep your day job 
my thrush + thistles make throats throb 
men mowed down; menstrual moat run by the mob 
godfather? pulverize the patriarchy 
no thirst: boys parch me 
parallel lives: a scanner darkly 
i’m betty + veronica tag teaming archie 
we need to talk about jackie: she’s too good at archery 
arch my back to mate: lord of lordosis 
gnaw + gnash nurses for their gnosis 
i’m the hostess with the mostest 
naked + naughty but still nursing neurosis 
defective neural network, detective urinal wetwork 
now see how many threats lurk 
smite you: got rid of that smirk 
i’m the square peg @ a circle jerk 
now i'm circe enchant with zero mercy 
you're unworthy, turn your testicles topsy-turvy

p-p-pink ribbon & bow for my maidenhead 
g-g-got my bow & arrow now i'm maidenfed 
you made your bed now lie in it
i dug this ditch and i'll die in it

She Sells Sex Acts on the Seashore (prod. theosyn)

i’ve dangled my brain off blackened cliffs + shackled my wrists to get slack things stiff as i gargle believe i’ve grown in to this grift free the living dead on the slave-hard graveyard shift 
exist opposite the 9-to-5ers death wishin’ deep sea diver such do-or-diers plucked out my perineum with rusty pliers one-woman city i’m the town crier but i stay a risky hire so i got higher handed out my status on handmade flyers 
french maid costume for the handjob and the handoff only life goal: to let the k-hole win the standoff stand alone in life mask on glands off only life skill: get choked stroke a man’s glans off mirror mirror no don’t look slice the glass off don’t deserve gold plates i get the brass trough 
my guts got gangrene: when’s enough enough? when did i go from sphinx to just snuff? why won’t these concrete chronicles uncuff? how’d i go to a creampie from a cream puff? 
forget the cum just come hither if i leave this tomb room i just might waste + wither but i somehow secreted my prostheses and out i fucking ssssslithered

DEAR REHAB DIARY:
well the inevitable is happening
can’t do anything for myself
i self-destruct so quietly
i admire those who do it in plain sight 

always stuck with the bare minimum
but aced the curriculum
poor me couldn’t find the proper portal
thought my nostrils could make me immortal


bag of briny blue-tinged bones acute care unit had every advantage still managed to ruin it the truest truant feel like i wanna crawl back up in + just womb it 
sealed up in this locked ward with a blocked gourd dream of cock swords knock knock who’s there, whore chock full of open sores it’s open season on the drug war 
they replace DMT with DBT but what about CIM +  GFE taught the difference between ashamed + guilty doesn’t matter to me cuz i molded my matter in to feces i’m filthy 
denuded but still deluded + in denial so i went right back to vivisections + vials watched my last brain cells’ dance recital then possessed the judge in my possession trial 
but soon trial + error proved no better sick of latex + leather every day like hell but with milder weather whether or not i’m too wild for the world or too clever time to drop the pretense + pull the lever 

DEAR REHAB DIARY: 
no one will take an interest in me unless i introduce myself cunt first, name second
it’s not easy: being fully oiled and the never-ending crawling 

assault all my senses
only need the future tenses
live to spoil spotless homes
want to kill me? when in rome!

now over two years pickled in the real world i wield a sickle as i watch the reel unfurl feelin’ like an eel in a sea of real girls at least i’m now not a hermit who nonstop hurls 
yet black + white thoughts still beat me black + blue still think back on all the you-know-who’s while i follow my own tracks gathering clues like who the fuck i am + what the fuck to do 
god grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change + cannot chain + had to cram in crates in a cabin upstate states of mind take time to unwind but i fear it’s too late so now i camp out beside the palace gates 
it’s no game: playing endless catch up neurons + needs failing to match up i search for my old skins + snatch ‘em up because all that’s left to do is get scratched up + then patch up 



DEAR REHAB DIARY:
affirmation: i will be soft to myself + hard as fuck to everything else 
the best policy is neverending procession: to parade until feet are more factory than biology

Rehab: Rehashed

["patients aren't allowed in the nurses' station!"]
it’s like one flew over the cuckoo’s nest
i just fondue’d a few cocks, who’s next?
so call me naughty nurse ratched 
cuz i’m fucking batshit
i throw an STD + you catch it
i hover above hell with a hatchet
you sit on eggs for months, but can’t hatch shit
from this prime vantage point
i see all the bandaged joints
you go vestigial + vanish as i self-anoint
venerated as both vixen + villain 
underfeeding + overpilling
til both the coffins + coffers are overfilling
i inflict injury 
don’t perform surgery 
this is called performance art 
bodies taken apart, served a la carte
i take action like vienna in the 60s 
theatre of orgies: hermann nitsch + me
medicinal medusa meddles in your medula
fuck HIPAA hack your hips to a perma-hula 
you’re no perseus pursed lips pistol purse holster hip
gorgon gorging on gore with a gruesome grip 
meet me at the very end: red cross final boss
ribs out like an open-heart on 90s kate moss 
take the loss, take this pill with my secret sauce
drug empire, i got leeway like freeway rick ross 
maim organic mainframes 
with mutagens in the main veins 
fuckkkk, these vain males get mundane
snakes rattle in sacks, i’m that bitch battleaxe
on my scalpel saddle sucking down these cattle scraps  
power corrupts call me caligula
as i flay flesh + fractalize fibulas
then pump you with enough medicine to melt your melanin
got the holes gaped wide enough to fit a whole ripe melon in 
i’m carrying contagion i’m culling contusions
cunt oozing during botched blood transfusions
licking sawed-off limbs flicking the soiled syringe 
watch me undressed undulating + unhinged
now open up the orifice or i’ll fist 
+ leave your dermis one huge cicatrix 
i’m sick of these tricks + their tiny dicks 
from the ICU straight to the river styx 
i go deep down in the depths to dissect
die in my sect they die from the sex 
i got the 4 horsemen in forceps at my fortress
succumb to the sickness suck cum from the witless
my retinue got retinas removed, leave no eyewitness
clairvoyant meat cleaver clara barton 
red in the milkman’s carton
legs parting to cerberus barking 
you’re deserted, distended and disheartened  
[no chorus it’s a gore blitz] 
wield the caduceus clad in douches
turn social butterflies into recluses 
noxious notions turn to nooses 
no truces with bodies’ vital juices
smarterchild: you’re just a bot to me
lasers out for the lobotomy
made you a vegetable so this is botany
my spawn’s seen scenes that can’t be forgotten
four rotten misbegotten beggars on white cotton
on ER cots and all your blood’s clotting
heart rate dropping toxic waste mopping
estuaries of estrogen defibrillating denizen 
select specs for specimens [the most special men]
petrified, their parts pretzeling
i spurn pomp + circumstance
choose to pump + circumcise
truth or dare, square the circle as he dies
got tantric tastes, i’m a triage tyrant
splay legs, reveal a tetanus trident
let’s take the trauma somewhere private
i’ll drive it you can’t describe it
got these clients spurtin like summertime harlem hydrants
i’m red in tooth + claw 
doomed you to eat thru a straw 
you lack the wherewithal to cope with this withdrawal
i ventilate varicose veins
+ braid bellicose brains 
caress the comatose + run midnight trains
you’re blatantly bedridden
time to seek: your head’s hidden
turn a trick: no tourniquet 
turn this kit from first aid to burn-a-witch 
and i’ll build-a-bitch from your spare bits
cuz you just had to [fucking] stare at my tits
lethal injection: illegal intention
venus in furs 
it’s an intravenous intervention
i’m an expert tease
and my expertise is medical
now all that’s left of the dead is a trickle.
["now calm down! the best thing we can do is go on with our daily routine!"]

Curse Of The Nurse

i’m the bastard offspring of mengele + a mannequin
vats of blood when i sacrifice these virgins at the vatican
had to pinky swear the pederast pope i won’t do that again
oh shiiiit i just animorphed from a girl to a bat again
traffick in virtue + vice like the squad that got heidi fleiss 
propped up on a squalid block in a solid block of ice 
til i spill + splice my sentence for blocking the way to the afterlife 
i’m after light i’m after spite i’m after the plague but before the blight 

and it turned out that the summit i’ve been climbing
was just the convex cousin of my broken hymen
nothing more than a thorn, nothing less than a diamond
i’m just a preemie prelapsarian newborn rhyming 

they neutered me at my most nubile 
plunged in my guts for some new bile 
now my knees’ shredded in the ruby aisle
defiled, suicidal, black widow bridal

is it a mystery that i worship you?
that i’d lick your boots no matter who you slew?
the stoma stew, the morning dew the porn’s a clue 
as to what will tarnish the precious hue
and i’m no longer human once the rent’s due 
court insanity like a blood sport in the heliport
it’s a hellish wart: this globe of disgust 
i thrash + thrust manhandle mandibles i must 
please say you won’t traipse on my terse lust
trample my earth’s crust 
and i corrupt every crumb 
put every morsel on a leash
harness the coward’s carcass, let loose the leech
on a candlelit beach 
where every bit of joy’s a touch out of reach
like a plucked plum + a maggot-infested peach
so preach + preen til the gore gleams 
and every female’s a teen 
i unspool my innards + unbuckle my spleen
to splay out until i’m a split slit on a spit
now i’m roasting all the way from cranium to clit 

they neutered me at my most nubile 
plunged in my guts for some new bile 
now my knees’ shredded in the ruby aisle
defiled, suicidal, black widow bridal

nothing i know matters more than what never happened 
nothing but nectar stains on every napkin i’m an assassin 
it’s more than anything you could ever begin to imagine

Nubile/New Bile

HERE IS SOMETHING YOU CAN’T UNDERSTAND:
HOW I COULD JUST KILL A MAN

when i was rosy-cheeked n shiny-beaked
every day came the new disguised as antiques [so bleak]
only thing worse than critique’s being ignored
they bypass my cunt go for figs on floors next door
so i kept both scorn + score to adorn this gore whore

backed into a corner, in to a beast with 2 backs
2 face smacks 2 trains coming down 2 tracks 
was forced under his feet like a bootblack 
then he booed back, omega megalomaniac

he proved hell’s other people
while he confessed i burned the cathedral
don’t want to deep-throat his steeple
spirit animal’s not the spread eagle 

man i’m fumbling i’m fucked up i’m out of it 
chose to dispose of me once he’s out of clit 
i’m out of wit
thought he was sunlit the real deal but he’s counterfeit
count his blessings then his wound dressings, 
you can count on it 
like i mock + mount his molehill and then make a murder out of it 


but these games are super fun, right?
i leave his body a superfund site

he didn’t grok i’m not fully human
thought my womb wanted him now i’m entombing 
like the town creep got acumen for grooming 
but my dorsal fin’s just a morsel to him 
mortal sin amoral post-mortem: make a portent of him

i was gilled as a teen now his neck’s on the guillotine
health bill unclean, use it to light the grill on his spleen 
i’m all 3: the median, the mode, and the mean
grinding groins just to see what goods i can glean 

i’d say lean back relax but his spine’s already supine
already made him howl like his origins are lupine
i crawled thru mobbed mines + shuttered shrines
but i’m a haunt a hologram so this can’t be true crime

now inhale close your eyes count back from infinity
as i draw blood, i draw nearer to divinity 
you’re nowhere in the vicinity 
the whole filthy city inspects your corpse’s rigidity

ima turn my 261 into his 187
lock him in my gun closet, 7 minutes in heaven
no safe haven, i’m packing 7 weapons
now step aside as 27 years of rage step in

carve his cartilage to host a conclave 
i do peyote in a cave then i spit on his grave 
shred the contract that branded me a sex slave
slit his throat close call for a close shave 
leave his pelvis looking like a sine wave 

my candy’s hard his windows are barred 
exhausted all the hallmark sympathy cards
make soap from his lard, drop it in prison yards
then extort sexual favors like some pervert prison guard 

i’m a cthonic deity i get demonic with vice
he forgot his own name, he needs a mnemonic device 
got tinctures and tonics less sugar much more spice
he’s less “of men” and much more “of mice” 
no dice 

when i said i get freaky, i meant like takashi miike
but don’t worry, it’s just me, k?

they’ll liken his remains to sylvia likens’ 
prefer to endarken instead of enlighten
it’s a tight fit he’s a tyke i’m a titan 
submerged beyond six feet deep to meet poseidon 
this is all sincere, [psych] it’s not the psilocybin 

upstanding citizen points his camera upskirts 
i’ll upend his whole existence + ensure his guts spurt 
fatal flirt face down in the dirt make it hurt
then shoot his brains out like we’re both named kurt 

his excretions are the wrong jizz
this isn’t his calling, he’s in the wrong biz
he got a raw deal i truly know what raw is

he’s in a stupor i’m channeling dennis cooper
i’m his roommate + his landlord, his neighbor + his super 

you give me endless material: infinite jest 
i ingest only the best of your nest of flesh
this dissertation’s a vicious litany 
cuz something viscous just lit up in this pit in me

I Spit On Your Fave (prod. Crivellator)

your girl’s enslaved in a barn by a wannabe PT barnum
where he varnishes his specimens, cuz they’re all destined for stardom
he’s in bed with big pharma but he claims he never harms ‘em
thinks there are zero dissidents up in here but trust me, there are some

i’m shackled + feces-spackled because i sprouted webbed wings
a chained changeling, i flew in on gusts of harsh arctic winds
the artist wins but right now no one knows, this is how it begins 
i’m right here in between the bearded lady + the conjoined twins 

put on freak display like the ticking clock for doomsday 
who’s to say? fantasize about serving him as an entree, andale 
of course we double as dummies, we’re really just props to get him laid
and somehow, some way, on payday we never ever seem to get paid 

oh the odium of being gawked at on this greasy gaudy podium 
better pony up so i can get faded asap on some dope opium
i’m not user-friendly, i use up all the resources then usurp 
to cope with all the stress i stretch out + zone out with prime purp

wrapped in glitter + gauze to better accentuate my clandestine claws
no hidden clause in my contract for homicide by gleaming unhinged jaws 
i swoon + swirl around the stage to giddy eyewitness applause 
my paws hold fairy dust but soon they’ll grip employment laws

to the gathered crowd i’m as fascinating as an ensnared centaur
yet no one can sense our rage, although we’re deemed demented decor
wage a war, cage the wild boar, shortly this life will be his to deplore 
yeah we can beguile + contort but we can also go to extremes to extort

one of us, one of us

about to turn this psycho sideshow in to true crime, cue the crows
and its fearless ringleader, sting ‘im and bleed ‘er, leave him a john doe
we’ll elevate the aesthetic sensibilities here to a marina abramovic show  
he’ll die before 60 (no) 50 (no) 40 like marilyn monroe 

to retain his form, he pleaded, begged for a holy union but i seceded 
funneled + dumped his seed down the rusty drain cuz it’s no longer needed 
demons on my shoulders croon while the tantric translucent angels get depleted 
you’ll want a good view for this, trust me friends, you’re not gonna want to stay seated

i invoke the spirit of lorena bobbit bob for these poison apples, gobble it 
in the gold goblet i reduce his fluids down to a single doomed droplet 
i beseech you, this way to the egress everything in excess you’ll obsess 
over this never-before-seen curiosity, it’s so fresh in fancy dress

go figure now he’s the most grimy grotesque creature of us all 
such gall, the human race will have no choice but to blackball 
it’s a free-for-all, we flee + sprawl, bid him adieu in a spidery scrawl  
so just remember: if you fuck with us, it’ll be your ultimate downfall  

keep us locked up, get chopped up
one of us, one of us, one of usssssss

PT Barnum (prod. einveru)

hooded parts of a sundrenched whole
betray like a thief then turn back to a foal

i debrief my devoted debris on the latest deal
gold rings + gore, the greatest meal
i have no faith in upright fauna 
gargle ashes, dub their mouths a sauna
evolution or as i call it trauma
sodom + gomorrah 
sequestered my limbs to caves, 
i crave escape from this living grave

i want to transcend this form, the human norm, 
destroy all the nightclubs + college dorms
demand to turn from simian to amphibian
announce the transformation to all my minions 
i want to be more than this, 
crossed off on the new list
anubis down in the pubis
i require true bliss 
only ever fuck with an incubus
who beheads at my behest, who ransacks the rest
who doesn’t even peek before giving me the treasure chest
now i’m imperial, immortal, immune to immolation
my ennui pre-dates my predation
the time has come to meet your maker 
let you labor on a fraction of an acre 
opposite of the quakers
i’m the whole population’s corrupt caretaker 

refuse to be a chewed-gum house, so pliable
natural shape unreliable 
shank bone thru a bible
the bile rises in response but i can’t be held liable 
so i’ll leave the species, the genus, then the phylum 
hybrid, put in a high bid at the asylum 
dark heaving magic, manic, i’ll trample all over the tragic 

it’s like i’m sisyphus but with syphillis
wickedness spawned from a copper chrysalis 
irrigating erogenous zones 
propagating androgynous bones 
don’t underestimate all the flesh hester ate
when it festers, great
dropped out a few semesters too late
i’ll bargain with everything from 2 legs to 8
deflate from the deflection
a whole army’s coordinated defection
there’s a defect i failed to detect
so underwhelmed with life in this sect
so i sext like anne sexton to blow off steam
slow in the seams, you may grow on me
i may grow up to be gangbanged by the whole football team
now that right there’s the american dream! 

life without industry is guilt
this is the world that bleating banshees built
to defy prop up on flesh + chainlink stilts
switch skin for a dermis + steel quilt
marinate in the fluids of your fathers + their failures
i’m on the dock ready for each + every sailor
vlad the impaler 
no life, no death, no breath, no inhaler
encrypt with spit, buried in crypts with pits
if the tool slits, if the barbed wire splits
plan then commit crimes i’ll never admit
you’re cloaked in cloacae i’m sunlit
where’re my sycophants? so sick of “can’t” 
death wish the only one my genie grants
only speak in garbled gregorian chants
failed transplant of a thousand horned red ants

convalescant, i convulse with a planetary pulse
doctors mystified by blood test results 
i slide down the shiny pole
indistinguishable from a black hole
there’s nothing to me but i shellac the void
emerged from a yolk sac with a broken toy
these are the final results of my nothingness, please enjoy

Upright Fauna

produced by @iaa-aoa-861699680

i emerge from the mist 
chock-full of fists 
heckling to the fog
let’s spurn men + slice wrists
diamonds are forever 
drizzle from the limbs i sever
dangling, unbalanced always untethered
all i need to please me, 
they stimulate + tease me 
i simulate reality on CCTV 
came to life thru systems of ropes + pulleys
the faithful reincarnation of a high school bully 
fresh press you into juice from the jewels 
i furnish the court jester from all these fools 
turn them back around, use ‘em as drug mules
watch their innards unspool via primitive tools 
men are mere mortals, portals, not worth going to your grave for
not worth playing the slave for or even leaving the cave for 
when i arrive, i leave more holes than meat in them
and when i depart, i leave with all the precious gems
secure a lock of hair as i deadstock your air 
erase existences like my mustache with nair
for when love's gone, they'll lustre on
got your family jewels in a cluster, bond
when i’m done you’ll need more than bed rest
you’ll need a whole new family crest
outfox enemies as the plot unfurls 
bond your ass to your face in toilets then swirl 
ballerina on a bed of nails watch me twirl 
intestines as a necklace
body with no torso, headless, breathless,
neck-less
solder the solar plexus
these days? i give less fucks, i’m feckless
choke you out as my choker glistens
talented talons, the glittering griffin
that’s what you get when you prove you can’t listen
pistorius story ends with skull meeting piston 
stew of gore + garnet
i’m the devil incarnate 
horns of plenty in the garland 
sin thru the garment 
acid will eat thru all the brain bits
grey matter’s exhausted, sighs + quits
allow no morsel to remain unflogged
so i scorn the lamb and choose the hog
nothing fresh can be of service to me
i flush flesh in the dirt and then just let it be
men are mere mortals, portals, not worth going to your grave for
not worth playing the slave for or even leaving the cave for 
when i arrive, i leave more holes than meat in them
and when i depart, i leave with all the precious gems
your god’s rife with mutations
mute, he gorges on his congregation
i tend to conflate conflict to adoration 
and get all unctious in my undulations
cult in the process of cultivation
the mise en scene: me loose in the pigpen 
boning big ben stinging loose-moraled men
plunge in like you wear a loincloth
purloined your groin, bastards brewed to a broth

Diamonds Forever (prod. esak.)

produced by @audiomiraj

i know how to hurt
i know how to heal
i know who to maim 
and how blood congeals  
they like to say no one ever died from wanting too much 
but then i’ve ended countless lives with a single touch
no double dutch
the world doesn’t have enough for me 
i need a galaxy
who’s that gal you see?
yung galadriel with the pure polished insanity 
reality’s a construct that i control with my gadgetry 
i’m up in a tree to tactfully tranquilize a tragedy 
life’s timeline is tedious i need it all then some + more 
nothing else would satisfy but an all-out planetary war 
we sanctify the sacrilege with a horn through the matador  
blood mats the floor, hey what’s that vermin-filled vat for? 
feel free to use my innermost innards for a kissing booth
been sent on a fact-finding mission but still missing the truth 
talked to dr. ruth so my wardrobe always stays uncouth
got you in duct tape to the face in a room with no walls or roof
but that’s just me jaded with my puny world
in a whirligig vomiting, spewing out puerile pearls 
i vanquish their anguish + hit all the angles
new-fangled nootropics emerging from the tangle
at dusk i blow blofeld and then our minds meld
got bastions of beasts that simply refuse to be quelled 
shiny weapons of mass destruction, all shrunk down to handheld
got top secret testimony compelled from the unparalleled
parallel dimension for my death, rebirth + ascension 
there are some things you have to promise to never mention 
like, for one, the sexual tension at the vivisection 
cuz i need that pension so don’t blow up my fucking profession 
performing premature autopsies they really ought to stop me
i get real sloppy with all these male model carbon copies
transform perfect structures in to junked-out jalopies
i just don’t get people, i better understand dead bodies
you’ll soon shuffle off this mortal coil
cuz i’ve got my thigh portal oiled
gargoyles line my cunt ready to roil
packaged in the panic room, 
prepare for titanic doom
embalmed, plopped in an inorganic tomb 
under a manic moon

Not Enough (prod. miraJ)

you sculpt play-dough while i quote plato 
we’ll both be dead by the end of the day though 
natural habitat
guts entwined around a shining halo 
turns out i prefer to lay low 
pay no attention to the man behind the curtain 
for certain, cloistered away like i’m thomas merton
laid both to waste + to rest with this sermon
while i’m out in the ruins still searching for service 
now you’re swaddled in porcelian + primal fear 
i die + drip slime all over your horse + war gear 
crocodile tears cascade + coat spindly spears 
it’s still unclear: what’s virtue + what’s just veneer
to be born is to be horned
it’s simply a question of if you stay adorned
+ every torso torn is just another sheep shorn 
so i trim the fat + heap scorn 
on mountains upon mountains of thorns + cheap porn 
cause a ruckus + run you ragged
leave bodies burgled + junkyards jagged
i rise from quicksand like something from a swamp dream
deploy so many weapons better call the swat team 
i trot thru hot steam 
end up dead in bed with a fruited fiend 
who idolizes jack the ripper
jacks off on strippers 
thinks what he’s packing’s bigger than the big dipper 
starve him for atonement like it’s yom kippur 
when the microbe bit, it left behind a micro chip 
programmed proboscis so time to jump ship 
and when he hits, it’s like a bird beak kissing a tree
and when i sit, i have to be careful not to bend my knees 
turns out it takes an army to tend to my needs
i only breed with the betrothed who makes me bleed 
out back in the dungeon, slurping up expired cattle feed
somehow it never seems to end up how we agreed 
i emerge from my battle pod with a cattle prod
+ mount my deity, all hands on the saddle god
it’s so timely + tragic, how you’re addled with clods
of filth i whipped up from my own scrambled blood clots
so let’s all abandon hope rather than try to cope
it’s binary bifurcation: we’ll all die in code
and my dual divinations don’t forebode 
so well for anyone who doesn’t want to implode 
grace + elegance, death-defying detritus 
only promiscuous right on the precipice
don’t even bother to camouflage the evidence
cuz i’m held in such high esteem: emeritus
so below me can only see you with opera glasses 
below ground conducting the blackest of masses
then i’m back above throwing bones at glass houses
+ flowing fountains of fluids on your whitest blouses
i offend their delicate sensibilities like i’m piss christ
sorry you’re too late, you just missed the heist 
i rule + root around in this roost of sticky rice
but i’m not poultry i’m a fucking poltergeist
not a destination, more like the vaunted vessel
i grind your gooey gore like a mortar + pestle 
then i leave dishes unwashed + you disheveled 
i’m rolling in the dough like it just got embezzled 
discovered an imp imprisoned in a perfect prism 
+ uncovered a gimp committed to juicing gism 
thus i go schizoid, my selves become schisms 
while i fuck the man + dismantle the system

maidenfed

Pinned to spotlight

Popular tracks