I like the original better; the beat was more unique! 

Nc-17

i’ve dangled my brain off blackened cliffs + shackled my wrists to get slack things stiff as i gargle believe i’ve grown in to this grift free the living dead on the slave-hard graveyard shift 
exist opposite the 9-to-5ers death wishin’ deep sea diver such do-or-diers plucked out my perineum with rusty pliers one-woman city i’m the town crier but i stay a risky hire so i got higher handed out my status on handmade flyers 
french maid costume for the handjob and the handoff only life goal: to let the k-hole win the standoff stand alone in life mask on glands off only life skill: get choked stroke a man’s glans off mirror mirror no don’t look slice the glass off don’t deserve gold plates i get the brass trough 
my guts got gangrene: when’s enough enough? when did i go from sphinx to just snuff? why won’t these concrete chronicles uncuff? how’d i go to a creampie from a cream puff? 
forget the cum just come hither if i leave this tomb room i just might waste + wither but i somehow secreted my prostheses and out i fucking ssssslithered

DEAR REHAB DIARY:
well the inevitable is happening
can’t do anything for myself
i self-destruct so quietly
i admire those who do it in plain sight 

always stuck with the bare minimum
but aced the curriculum
poor me couldn’t find the proper portal
thought my nostrils could make me immortal


bag of briny blue-tinged bones acute care unit had every advantage still managed to ruin it the truest truant feel like i wanna crawl back up in + just womb it 
sealed up in this locked ward with a blocked gourd dream of cock swords knock knock who’s there, whore chock full of open sores it’s open season on the drug war 
they replace DMT with DBT but what about CIM +  GFE taught the difference between ashamed + guilty doesn’t matter to me cuz i molded my matter in to feces i’m filthy 
denuded but still deluded + in denial so i went right back to vivisections + vials watched my last brain cells’ dance recital then possessed the judge in my possession trial 
but soon trial + error proved no better sick of latex + leather every day like hell but with milder weather whether or not i’m too wild for the world or too clever time to drop the pretense + pull the lever 

DEAR REHAB DIARY: 
no one will take an interest in me unless i introduce myself cunt first, name second
it’s not easy: being fully oiled and the never-ending crawling 

assault all my senses
only need the future tenses
live to spoil spotless homes
want to kill me? when in rome!

now over two years pickled in the real world i wield a sickle as i watch the reel unfurl feelin’ like an eel in a sea of real girls at least i’m now not a hermit who nonstop hurls 
yet black + white thoughts still beat me black + blue still think back on all the you-know-who’s while i follow my own tracks gathering clues like who the fuck i am + what the fuck to do 
god grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change + cannot chain + had to cram in crates in a cabin upstate states of mind take time to unwind but i fear it’s too late so now i camp out beside the palace gates 
it’s no game: playing endless catch up neurons + needs failing to match up i search for my old skins + snatch ‘em up because all that’s left to do is get scratched up + then patch up 



DEAR REHAB DIARY:
affirmation: i will be soft to myself + hard as fuck to everything else 
the best policy is neverending procession: to parade until feet are more factory than biology

Rehab: Rehashed

["patients aren't allowed in the nurses' station!"]
it’s like one flew over the cuckoo’s nest
i just fondue’d a few cocks, who’s next?
so call me naughty nurse ratched 
cuz i’m fucking batshit
i throw an STD + you catch it
i hover above hell with a hatchet
you sit on eggs for months, but can’t hatch shit
from this prime vantage point
i see all the bandaged joints
you go vestigial + vanish as i self-anoint
venerated as both vixen + villain 
underfeeding + overpilling
til both the coffins + coffers are overfilling
i inflict injury 
don’t perform surgery 
this is called performance art 
bodies taken apart, served a la carte
i take action like vienna in the 60s 
theatre of orgies: hermann nitsch + me
medicinal medusa meddles in your medula
fuck HIPAA hack your hips to a perma-hula 
you’re no perseus pursed lips pistol purse holster hip
gorgon gorging on gore with a gruesome grip 
meet me at the very end: red cross final boss
ribs out like an open-heart on 90s kate moss 
take the loss, take this pill with my secret sauce
drug empire, i got leeway like freeway rick ross 
maim organic mainframes 
with mutagens in the main veins 
fuckkkk, these vain males get mundane
snakes rattle in sacks, i’m that bitch battleaxe
on my scalpel saddle sucking down these cattle scraps  
power corrupts call me caligula
as i flay flesh + fractalize fibulas
then pump you with enough medicine to melt your melanin
got the holes gaped wide enough to fit a whole ripe melon in 
i’m carrying contagion i’m culling contusions
cunt oozing during botched blood transfusions
licking sawed-off limbs flicking the soiled syringe 
watch me undressed undulating + unhinged
now open up the orifice or i’ll fist 
+ leave your dermis one huge cicatrix 
i’m sick of these tricks + their tiny dicks 
from the ICU straight to the river styx 
i go deep down in the depths to dissect
die in my sect they die from the sex 
i got the 4 horsemen in forceps at my fortress
succumb to the sickness suck cum from the witless
my retinue got retinas removed, leave no eyewitness
clairvoyant meat cleaver clara barton 
red in the milkman’s carton
legs parting to cerberus barking 
you’re deserted, distended and disheartened  
[no chorus it’s a gore blitz] 
wield the caduceus clad in douches
turn social butterflies into recluses 
noxious notions turn to nooses 
no truces with bodies’ vital juices
smarterchild: you’re just a bot to me
lasers out for the lobotomy
made you a vegetable so this is botany
my spawn’s seen scenes that can’t be forgotten
four rotten misbegotten beggars on white cotton
on ER cots and all your blood’s clotting
heart rate dropping toxic waste mopping
estuaries of estrogen defibrillating denizen 
select specs for specimens [the most special men]
petrified, their parts pretzeling
i spurn pomp + circumstance
choose to pump + circumcise
truth or dare, square the circle as he dies
got tantric tastes, i’m a triage tyrant
splay legs, reveal a tetanus trident
let’s take the trauma somewhere private
i’ll drive it you can’t describe it
got these clients spurtin like summertime harlem hydrants
i’m red in tooth + claw 
doomed you to eat thru a straw 
you lack the wherewithal to cope with this withdrawal
i ventilate varicose veins
+ braid bellicose brains 
caress the comatose + run midnight trains
you’re blatantly bedridden
time to seek: your head’s hidden
turn a trick: no tourniquet 
turn this kit from first aid to burn-a-witch 
and i’ll build-a-bitch from your spare bits
cuz you just had to [fucking] stare at my tits
lethal injection: illegal intention
venus in furs 
it’s an intravenous intervention
i’m an expert tease
and my expertise is medical
now all that’s left of the dead is a trickle.
["now calm down! the best thing we can do is go on with our daily routine!"]

Curse Of The Nurse

i’m the bastard offspring of mengele + a mannequin
vats of blood when i sacrifice these virgins at the vatican
had to pinky swear the pederast pope i won’t do that again
oh shiiiit i just animorphed from a girl to a bat again
traffick in virtue + vice like the squad that got heidi fleiss 
propped up on a squalid block in a solid block of ice 
til i spill + splice my sentence for blocking the way to the afterlife 
i’m after light i’m after spite i’m after the plague but before the blight 

and it turned out that the summit i’ve been climbing
was just the convex cousin of my broken hymen
nothing more than a thorn, nothing less than a diamond
i’m just a preemie prelapsarian newborn rhyming 

they neutered me at my most nubile 
plunged in my guts for some new bile 
now my knees’ shredded in the ruby aisle
defiled, suicidal, black widow bridal

is it a mystery that i worship you?
that i’d lick your boots no matter who you slew?
the stoma stew, the morning dew the porn’s a clue 
as to what will tarnish the precious hue
and i’m no longer human once the rent’s due 
court insanity like a blood sport in the heliport
it’s a hellish wart: this globe of disgust 
i thrash + thrust manhandle mandibles i must 
please say you won’t traipse on my terse lust
trample my earth’s crust 
and i corrupt every crumb 
put every morsel on a leash
harness the coward’s carcass, let loose the leech
on a candlelit beach 
where every bit of joy’s a touch out of reach
like a plucked plum + a maggot-infested peach
so preach + preen til the gore gleams 
and every female’s a teen 
i unspool my innards + unbuckle my spleen
to splay out until i’m a split slit on a spit
now i’m roasting all the way from cranium to clit 

they neutered me at my most nubile 
plunged in my guts for some new bile 
now my knees’ shredded in the ruby aisle
defiled, suicidal, black widow bridal

nothing i know matters more than what never happened 
nothing but nectar stains on every napkin i’m an assassin 
it’s more than anything you could ever begin to imagine

Rehab: Rehashed

maidenfed

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