Nice job. Can’t wait for the next battle.

Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of FRB vs Anything, which pits rap battle community members (or concepts in this case) against well...anything. In this pre-show for the rap battle inquisition (for legal reasons I have to say this battle isn’t a part of the inquisition), we head back to basics as the battle structure 8-8-4-4 goes against arial font itself. Which basic choice will prevail? How do you even make these things rap? Do bees actually have knees or is the expression a lie? At least one of these questions will be answered!

8-8-4-4: SimplyRazzy
Arial Font: Commander Jacob
Written by JustGamer
Beat by Epistra
Mixed and Mastered by Serena
Thumbnail by Fightmarker

8-8-4-4 verse 1:
Against this blank slate for blank pages, I’ll be making sure that
You’re losing to the granddaddy of rap battle formats 
The people know this OG is gonna be besting ya 
When you were made to be a straight up copy of Helvetica
I’m used cause I’m timeless, the classics can’t go wrong
You’re used because of people too lazy to change the font
Eight eight four four ain’t no bore, you’re not gonna be stopping me
But let’s see you try to prove that you’re good at typography 

Arial Font verse 1:
Got sleek flow against weak foes, motherfucker your time’s up
Don’t need to change my numbers in order to size up
I bring style to the table, take your pick and I can look that way
But I couldn’t find a good battle that uses you if I looked today 
This row of lines will be knocked over, he can’t take a hit
Just look at your equation, it leads to nothing but negatives 
My lines stays bold, yours is old and outdated
The most popular thing since Times New Roman that’s commonly hated 

8-8-4-4 verse 2:
That’s comical, sans any punches you thought were made
There are Ariels with better flow in The Little Mermaid
Your typeface is grotesque, it’s no wonder people hate you
Bruh, even Microsoft had to go on and replace you 

Arial Font verse 2:
Since 1982, I’ve been keeping it simplistic 
You can’t even be used as a good joke battle gimmick 
I command U to be under me, I’m staying on top 
Now I’ll leave you like modern bonus battles do: dropped

8-8-4-4 Vs Arial Font - FRB vs. Anything

Hi there!
So, today is my birthday and I decided to upload a match up that only I would want. I love schlock horror movies. I love Twisted Metal. So here's a schlock horror and Twisted Metal match up! A wish come true for me~

The Djinn Voiced By Freshy Kanal
Calypso Voiced By KingMewtwo
Written By Jenni No Mercy
Mixed By Serena
Thumbnail By Matt Raichous


BEAT: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=horNWCxKcYg



The Djinn:

In a time before time, I tortured souls for fun
So take notes from Needles Kane, and Run, insect. Run
Forget Barbara Eden and Will Smith. I’m not some genie to easily diss
So don't make a sound, don't make a move, and most of all...don't make me pissed!
A master of chaos, I’m pulling the world into darkness and slaughter
Despite what your causing, your most evil sin was the death of your daughter
While you turning whole cities to fodder, I command the powers that you borrowed
If your rotten comic was any to follow, the only thing William’s mastered is sorrow!
Your colorful car game crashed, smashed, your character turned into trash, fast
So despite Singletrak being past fads, they tried painting your series Black! (hack)
So before you try spitting back, maybe react to the fact you’re a bitch
Who lives in the Shadow of knowing his death was his daddy’s only wish


Calypso:

My Twisted Metal contest turned the City of Angel’s to rubble
All the city awashed with flames. So burning you is no trouble
I’m doubling up on the carnage with the High Octane I’m rocking on
I’m popping off, don’t need the nuke mobile for me to drop bombs!
You claim to be supreme, but still trapped in your jeweled prison
Think you’re a step ahead, but only free thanks to alcoholism!
While trying to rap is a given, facing me still seems quite obscene
Since I was twisting words years before you hit the big screen!
Tried getting appraisal from Alex, what a fallacy, she left you sobbing
The last time I saw a genie this blue balled, he was voiced by Robin!
Your quartet of films forgotten, tomatoes Rotten, out of luck
You’re so much of a clown, you should be driving the ice cream truck!

The Djinn:

Come now, you worm, you can think better things to diss
Or would you prefer I drag your soul to Hell to meet your sis!
Leave you dismissed like Sony, you’re just phony faux Loki
Oh if only, you’d have been lucky and they didn’t blow your chance at the movies



Calypso:

You demons are all the same, never realizing the cunning of man
I’ll have you under my control, just ask Black and Minion!
The battle draws to the close, This Djinn was burned by the devil
I am Calypso, and I thank you for playing Twisted Metal!

Calypso Vs Wishmaster - Jenni's Jammin' Battles

This is a battle I made for a contest my friend @user-246183970 hosted. This was from the final round, where we had to make an audio only battle entirely from scratch, with the matchup being something Jenni would think she'd like. 

I went with a Caddicarus battle because she (like me) is a fan of his videos, and chose Chills to be his opponent because uhhh they're Youtubers who's usernames start with C and also their videos are completely different genres ig????

After months of needing deadline extensions, it's finally finished. Not the biggest effort I've ever put into a battle but I think it's kinda decent still. Enjoy!

Caddicarus (0:16):
Greetings and salutations!
Welcome back to the show where I Slaughter worthless garbage with zero Salvation
Today we’re looking at a channel that makes George Wood seem grand
Presenting Cheesy horror vids as if they weren’t pre-planned
The creatures you feature would run if they saw Spons
And as for your music career? I have just one word: STOP
You probably think your shite narrations are the best in the game
But I know a friend of mine who would leave you upstaged…

Daddy Caddy:
Once there was a boy with nasally arse voice
Who thought “I’ll copy Watchmojo in an attempt to make some noise”
But all his lists were shit, and he got mocked across the net
‘Til the fact he was a joke became something he had to accept

Chills:
The last thing you’d want in your YouTube vid
Is a limey Sasquatch yelling at games made for kids
No April Fools skit, this will be your assassination
Deny your attempts at winning like your Normal Boots application
Like you do to your viewers’ ears, I’m dishing out verbal murder
And firing shots — would you like a bullet with your verse, sir?
Without your fast paced edits and random usage of memes
Then there would be nothing Salvageable about you, it seems
On top of that, you’ve gone downhill since your show’s formula got scrapped
No longer fly like a Phoenix with all that hour long trash
Every Thursday and Saturday, my fans are glued to their seats
While your fans are waiting decades between your every release

Caddicarus:
Roast this meat slab on the beat as if I was the Bacon Wizard
And my content requires effort, ya bastard! That’s where we differ
Seriously! You’ve got the most soulless commentary I’ve ever seen (sin)
So I’ll put this wet lettuce where he belongs: in the bin

Chills:
Give you a red circle, maybe you’ll get the clicks that I gain
Really had your name changed ‘cuz you hated some talking train?
(ay, ay) Don’t gamer rage about coming second, guy
‘Cuz you’ll be ranked Number One on my Top 10 Career Suicides

Beat by Epistra
Writing, Voicework and Mixing all by Me
Cover Art by MasonG

Caddicarus vs Chills. The Next Best Battle.

Jigsaw Voiced By Vladimyr P.
Macgyver Voiced By Toni Rigatoni
Written By Jenni No Mercy
Mixed By Serena
Thumbnail By CreeperPasta

Beat: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWX7vYOAWUA



Jigsaw:

Hello Macgyver, the survivor, improviser
You’ll find you’ll need more than light wires in the cypher
While the timer ticks down to zero, I’ll let you try and play hero
But your passive tactics to actual threats won’t help to save you in here, though
Tried to be an American Badass, but alas your fame is fleeting
All I need is a Spiral to get people in line for my screenings
Leave you choked like your name was Cale, smothered with regretful defeat
My bars will grind your rotten corpse, leaving Angus as ground beef
My plans are elaborate masterpieces, your strats all rely on tape
Maybe if Mac could actually plan, his pals wouldn’t lie in early graves
Your pocket knife just wouldn’t suffice at stopping you from being destroyed
I’ll give you a chance, Macgyver. Rap or die. Make your choice

Macgyver:

Is that the best you got? God, this old man is a bore
First impressions are very important, but you’re choosing to waste yours
An angel of death or a raging sadist? You’re walking a fine line
Give me a clip and some duct tape, and I still couldn’t fix your timeline!
Keep a cool head when my foes show
Kidnap little girls? That’s a new low
You got a few fans, but on the downlow?
You haven’t been relevant since the third go!
But of course that wouldn't phase you.
You love your game so much, you let it play you!
Researching for the hearing impaired. I’m relentless
Your lesson fell on the deaf ears of your apprentice!
I’m the best, with search and rescue
Sharper than the Human blender, you’ll be crashing like your nephew!
Your death traps don’t scare me, your gore just shocks
But what has bigger holes, your wife’s face or your plots?

Jigsaw:

Very impressive, but I didn’t mention
How my intervention has a second lesson
While you travel the world deciding to play spy
The game of life was cutting deeper through your family ties
Too bad Daddy can’t tell ya to lose the mullet
You should learn from your childhood friend and bite the bullet
Can’t keep a girlfriend, your personality’s mild
But had the little recipe for how to abandon your child
Vile actions are embarrassing  really no comparison
You couldn’t bring fire to your lines if you had kerosene.
Hope you have an antidote, the way I spit so toxic
Causing you more pain than anything Murdoc did

Macgyver:

Glorified Muppet maker, death faker. Just shove it!
Pretty clear why Wan would cut the strings of this puppet!
Had about enough of it, so quit jerking me around
My raps aren’t pig guts but you’re still gonna drown
I take down members of H.I.T!
You can barely stay ahead of the N.Y.P.D!
So just take your defeat! You couldn’t sink any lower
No room for a twist. I win! Game Over!

Macgyver Vs Jigsaw - Jenni's Jammin' Battles

Lyrics/Beat/Trivia: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1dYZJHhVplz3Yq5cxOmQgxd7Rsmk5cOQSqnL5fwxdvlc/edit
JesseBoxVO as Hornet
MetaMachine as Luigi
Written by MetaMachine and Legengo
Beat by Anywaywell
Mixed by Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Thumbnail by JK03
Hint for next battle: "In space, no one can hear you murder." (featuring GamingPlush64 and Special Inquisitor Rayyan)

Luigi vs. Hornet

Battle Introduction: Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of FRB vs Anything, which pits rap battle community members against well...anything. For our RBW special, we have the bane of my existence, the Rap Battle Ninja going up against the new Slenderman of rap battles, The Zodiac Killer. In a battle of two cypher makers, who will out puzzle who? 

Rap Battle Ninja: 16 9 24 5 12 - 3 8 18 9 19
The Zodiac Killer: RNG
Beat: Anywaywell
Written by JustGamer
Mixed by: Zagranis
Cover art by: Special Inquisitor Rayyan

Rap Battle Ninja: 
Yo it’s the rap battle ninja….hopping in on this beat ya
Let the games begin as I start to confuse this freak I’m 
just here to have some fun with making puzzles and decoding words
Guess you’re another one of my clients, cause now you’re getting served
I could write your rhymes for you, I’m quite fluent on how to spit 
A verse by you would probably end up on my top 5 worst of all time list 
Your scrappy scrabble puzzles can’t possibly match up to my operations 
Let’s hope that the Zodiac speaks better than his other rap battle iterations

A shadowy killer with a greater plan for all of man?
Does that make you the Unabomber or a member of the Ku Klux Klan?
Your case disappears every couple of years and slips right from the public’s eye  
But I go away for a couple days and the masses go “LMAO bruh reply”

The Justin Y. of FRB is here smack you verbally 
Your confirmed count of kills is more murky than your identity 
Even Walk is trying to psychoanalyze me and my penwork  
And I don’t need a bullet when it comes to making heads hurt
You’re losing this so badly that you’d wish you were Ted Cruz
I’ll let loose on this unknown dude who left all his threads loose
Not me though, I could murder this track and not leave a trace
But I’ll leave with this win inside the bag you use to hide your face 

The Zodiac Killer:
A legend like myself is bound to get some copycats 
But I’m not shocked you only fired blanks in that shotty rap
You’re laughable as a Riddler wannabe, but I don’t even care
Bring another sock along, I’m used to murdering pairs

An internet ARG interested in FRB
But the only flow you had was the flow of new members to the crew of King Ducky
Between costumes and solving codes, one thing separates me from this fake
So listen closely when I say this: I don’t make mistakes. 

I’d love to end this cypher now and simply gun this hack
But my bullets would be wasted on this kid in an Among Us mask
The sharpest wit that you could spit can’t compare to the edge of my knife
But I’ll make sure you’re well acquainted when I drag you to the afterlife  

The letters I write ought to hit, but it seems you’re the opposite
Of course a sneaky ninja can’t make himself seem prominent 
Fact is it’s embarrassing you probably know the origin of that bar
Cause referencing others work is all you’ve really done so far
Chandler, Gizmo, GnomeYT, I don’t care for your identity
Cause when it actually gets leaked, people won’t care in just a week
Another community sock that gets boring after a second
This California Killer sent you to the Golden Gates of Heaven

Rap Battle Ninja vs The Zodiac Killer - FRB vs. Anything

Matt Raichous as Shaggy Rogers and Ron Stoppable

Beat by S!dek!ck
Written, Mixed, and Edited by Matt Raichous

--LYRICS--
SHAGGY
Like, man, you think it’s hard to be a sidekick in the background?
Try being out on the frontlines when a monster comes around
I’ve seen millions of ghouls that make me wanna stop and vomit
Like that freaky hairless thing you like to carry in your pocket

RON
Hey! Don’t talk about Rufus when your dog is a doofus
Like Dr. Drakken, I’m ruthless, while your whole series is stupid
It’s useless to step up to the plate and face off with the Fearless Ferret
I saved the world from invasion, while you’re disappointing your parents
An iron stomach that couldn’t handle my naco
You’re not a hero, dude, I know it’s hard to swallow
But when all you do is follow, and never speak your mind
It’s like you’re in denial of the role you were assigned

SHAGGY
You think you’re, like, funny, but buddy, you’re witless
Your jokes are, like, ham-Fisted Monkey business
Nothing you do could be seen as comedic
Except for, like, anytime you get defeated
You live up to your name, Ron, cuz, like, you’re Stoppable
You’re never a threat, like, the weakest I’ve met, like, at best, like, you’re maybe an obstacle

RON
Can you think of anything other than to tell me I’m unfunny?
At least my jokes had a budget, you were eating all of your money
Your bars are redundant, just like your animation recycling

SHAGGY
I’ve held strong for decades, one movie sent you spiraling
Your Disney Channel live action got some really poor reactions
Used to be crafted with passion, now there's not even a fraction
Just dollar signs in the eyes of the guys behind the scenes
As your franchise loses everything by pandering to teens
You’re incompetent, Ron, you only ever win by accident
Give up and be a villain, that’s the only time you’re adequate
An actuary masochist, who just can’t seem to take a hint
Pathetic as a hero, like, your sister is a better fit
Go back to camp Wannaweep for a better chance at survival
Like, man, I’ve Gottagrin knowing you won’t get a revival 
Tangled in your mangled plotlines, like, it's gotta be painful
To put in all that effort, just to have your pants around your ankles

RON
Woah, dude, chill out, ‘cause you shouldn’t bring up losses
When you have four movies that all failed to make a profit
You’re still a stinkin’ hippie, when it’s rough, you get running
Looks like military schooling just wasn’t worth your parents’ money
Fifty years later, you’ve still got the same show, pacing and plotlines, and even the same jokes
How does the saying go? Don’t fix what ain’t broke, too bad your franchise is stale like it’s bread, though
This Mad Dog’s Barkin orders, cuz you’re baked and couldn’t make it
And you’re puffing out your chest, but the viewers know you’re faking
While the audience still loves me two decades later
The only one who loved you was an alien invader
And later, when you’re rebooted for the fifteenth time
The made up legends of your legacy are getting left behind

SHAGGY
All that strength, and you still need your girlfriend to defend you you
No matter what you do, you’re a buffoon in the end, dude
Mock me for my running, I’ll prove you’re the bigger coward

RON
And how’re you gonna do that?

SHAGGY
With one percent of my power! (Zoinks!)
Going Super Shag when I’m fast on the track
Try to roast me but everything you say falls flat
Can’t match my flow, like, you’re going too slow
Wanna go toe to toe getting dragged through your show
You fell into my trap, man, like, you’re the live bait
Let’s unmask this hungry horror and put an L on his plate

RON
Alright, we get it, bro, you’re fast, but that’s not always a good thing
No wonder Velma stopped shagging with you and kept looking
Now, you crossed the finish line, but you’re still the biggest loser
After all, brochacho, I’m Un-Stoppable! Booyah!

Shaggy Rogers vs. Ron Stoppable - Epic Rap Battles of Nostalgia

VIDEO COMING SOON!

Jenni No Mercy as Ed
Matt Raichous as Patrick

Beat by King EF
Written, Mixed, and Edited by Matt Raichous

PATRICK
Once upon a time, there was an ugly barnacle
A freakish creature that should’ve been in a carnival
The bottom of the barrel when it comes to being human
And, I’m laughing at your actions like “that guy’s so stupid!”
You can’t beat me, even with the strength of a gorilla
When the inner machinations of my mind are an enigma
So, firmly grasp what I’m telling you, you yelling yellow brute
The only time you’re useful is when there’s a pebble in your shoe
Your lumpy head is harder than the candy that you’re after
And your constant screaming is more annoying than SpongeBob’s laughter
An obsession with old movies and boring buttery breakfast
I didn’t know that there was a person dumber than Texas.

ED
Is this the Krusty Krab? I have got a problem
I think that one of your employees has hit rock bottom
While trying to be funny, you left all of your fans bored
Now they are crying on the floor, did you want an award?
Light fires underwater, but are not hot on the beat
Because you got your own spinoff, and all the fans started to leave
I did not know that sea stars could be fat and lazy
You think that you can rap, but all you’re flowing out is gravy
Run like a chicken! I’m buttering your toast!
Chomp you like a jawbreaker, when you’re fried up from my roast
Face against the great Ed-Zilla, you’ll no longer have a quarrel
When I knock you out with a door and leave you Kamping in the Koral

Ed Vs. Patrick - Saturday Morning Rap Bonus

doom&gloom.wav

Butta Nd Cuttas

Kickdoe

Epic Rap Battles of Nostalgic is an Epic Rap Battles of History style rap battle series with the focus of using nostalgic fictional characters.

Series run by Matt Raichous

Shaggy Rogers vs. Ron Stoppable - Epic Rap Battles of Nostalgia

Epic Rap Battles of Nostalgia

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Epic Rap Battles of Nostalgia

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