This track is a completely recomposed and recorded version of "About Lilly," the conclusion of Ad Nauseam.  The original was overdone in some ways and underdone in others.  The music also didn't effectively represent the story.  There were too many verses which made the title too long, and the verse breaks didn't work.  Here's a much better thought out version.  I used three external audio tracks for this one.  All of them were freeware in the public domain.

Lyrics:

I’ll never forget the day
When I held little Lilly Gray.
She was so small but brave
With a tiny, wrinkled face.

With a tired embrace,
Her mother somehow conveyed
That I had found my place
	With her.

Romantic love doesn’t last.
The marriage came to pass.
My ex moved on so fast
I had no time to grasp.

The boyfriend seemed up to task,
So I put on my happy mask.*
And held my bravest face
               For her.

I loved how Lilly saw the world
And she expressed joy with a twirl 
Like every stone was made of pearl
And mud was sweet chocolate swirls.

She grew into a spry tom girl
And wrapped her heart around the world.
I found myself again
              In her.

But something stole my baby’s light.
At first, she seemed possessed by fright.
On her visits she clung tight,
And at the end of every one she cried.

Revealed then was her plight
Through bruises on her arms and thighs,*
And I knew I had to fight
	For her.

I decided I should poke around,
So I camped outside their house.
I watched the boyfriend beat them down
He threw my little girl around.

I told my ex what I had found.
She stared as if I were a clown
I had to sue
	For custody.

I arrived at court to speak my piece
She showed with the best mouthpiece
And on my side was only me.
Enter Judge Justice Leeds.

I sat alone in disbelief
As my evidence he wouldn’t see
Said I should have sprung
	For Lawyer’s fees.

Two weeks ago, I got a call –
The cops at my ex-wife’s home.
They wouldn’t tell me what was wrong.
I arrived to find my girl was gone.

She was beaten raw
Dead with my ex against the bathroom wall.
And so I failed
	My little girl.

Judge Justice Leeds,
How can you go home at night and sleep
While breathing in the rotting blood of these
Your disregarded victims
             Ad Nauseam?

Do you still think Mom is best?

I didn’t bring this gun for you.
My daughter’s dead; my life is through.
There’s just one shell it must be true.
I’ll be your last victim!

Ad Nauseam3:  About Lilly version 2

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RPN is a music producer, remixer, radio host and DJ. His experiments in music are a reflection of his emotions. His musical style is based on use of unconventional structures of deliberately dry, static drum rhythm, which is supported by a synthetic electric bass line as the groove foundation. The basic structure is supplemented by additive sound elements. These sound elements include synthetic percussion and bass lines, electric guitars and other instruments. RPN often goes past his represented style by going to extremes and inserting deep industrial samples, pop music elements or jazz standards into his music. RPN’s productions meet the self-imposed challenge of harnessing avant-garde techniques at the service of individual and collective dance floor ecstasy.
His time DJing has given him a truly broad palette to work with while curating your perfect night of music. Every set was presented in different form and fulfilled with strong and positive emotions. He plays upbeat, uplifting, high-energy music which goes in hand with his energetic nature in the booth. He likes different styles of music; however, at the top of his list are: Techno, Electro, Trance, Tech-house, EDM, UK Bass and Indie Dance.
RPN tailors musical sets to create the feelings the dance floor wants, whether that's a rush of excitement, giddy highs and bone-shaking lows for a basement on a weekend night, a warm and relaxing chill-out session for a midweek wind-down, cutting edge tracks for the innovation-hungry or more familiar classics for those simply seeking a good time.



RPN weekly radio show Energymaker 
on Spectrum On Air radio www.spectrumonair.com
every  Sunday 9 p.m. (GMT),
 repeats: every Thursday 9.p.m. (GMT) and 
                       every  Friday 1 a.m. (GMT)


https://linktr.ee/rpn_music_pro

I’m more of a DJ who loves to be creative with music and loves to perform, and wants to share this creativity with others.  Lately, I’ve been experimenting with Groovepad. It’s an app that I use on my iPhone and the loops are made by other amazing artists and producers. All I’m doing is having a blast arranging and rearranging these amazing loops during a live recording and sharing these experiences with everyone. Good or bad, it’s a great time to celebrate life! 😁 I have an understanding of music fundamentals from being in band, jazz band, etc. and I have a real passion for the universal language of music.  It’s been a great app to use, I highly recommend.  I hope what I share, people will enjoy. One Love 😎

Ad Nauseam3: About Lilly version 2

Matt Cantrell