No more brilliance in my laugh.
No more warmth in my smile.
No more gleam of hope in my eyes.
Only pockets filled with sorrow.
My fall from grace,
To a place I cannot face.
Where the air is cold and moist,
No salvation but my voice.
Like a disaster wrapped in pain,
I watch my world fall out of me.
My dignity spills away, 
And emptiness takes it's place.
My mind subdues to shame,
And emptiness takes it's place.
Leaves me numb and hollow,
A void wrought by disgrace.
I've lost a part of me,
That there's no way to replace,
When comfort blends to confidence,
To a sense of self worth.
To a state of near happiness,
Where inhibition is divorced.
Intoxication masks humiliation,
Impaired by an unseen force.
Like a dog that's just been beaten,
I will always come back for more.
Self-fulfillment of these prophecies,
Leaves me crippled with remorse.
So I abhor…….
So I abhor…….
So I abhor…….
So I abhor…….
Without this sense of misery I would not be me.
Without the sweet embrace of agony I would lose everything that is close to me.
What an unfortunate feeble existence,
Is this the life we all have to lead?
Isolation, indignation, desolation,
Progression indeed.
Without the fear of rejection,
I could amass some esteem.
Without a positive self-reflection,
I'm only left to hate everything.
Why do I carry on this charade?
With every silver lining is someone else's pain.
Why do I wake up every day?
When I know it will always be the same.
Nothing will replace the things that could have been. 
Nothing will erase the moment they slipped through my fingers.
I sit high, 
On my throne.
The king of despair.
All alone…..

Sea of Deprivation- So I Abhor…

Lunar