This Is My First Album: The Deluxe Edition

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Main source Fakin the funk

Head full of noise but I stand on ten
Everybody call it strong cause I never bend
They do not see how deep it burn under all this skin
Built my own armor just to make it through again

I was that kid had to read every room too fast
Asked for help once or twice nobody had my back
Told myself hush I will handle it alone
Breaking never felt safe so I turned my heart to stone

Been on watch on myself like a guard all night
Keep the whole thing running stuck in fight or flight
Burnt the last little drop in my tank for the crowd
Till the lights went dim and my body tapped out

Mmh Oh
All on my own that ain’t freedom
Look tough outside but my soul still screaming
I draw lines now for my peace
If you stay you stay for the real me
Mmh Oh
All on my own that ain’t freedom
Ran my tank dry just to keep you breathing
Now I keep a little gas for me
If you ride you ride with the real me

You see the highlight reel think I got it on lock
Always one step ahead bracing for the shock
Run scenarios in my head way before they begin
I am the backup plan for everybody again

Fixing hearts in the room while my own runs hot
Smile on my face while my lungs tie knots
Holding space for the crew even when my hands shake
Nobody ever asked what it cost me to take

I never learned how to pull my hand back slow
When another mouth drinks and my levels run low
They call it solid call it loyal call it grown
But that is old pain talking in a deeper tone

Mmh Oh
All on my own that ain’t freedom
Look tough outside but my soul still screaming
I draw lines now for my peace
If you stay you stay for the real me
Mmh Oh
All on my own that ain’t freedom
Ran my tank dry just to keep you breathing
Now I keep a little gas for me
If you ride you ride with the real me

I remember how it hit when I first said no
Thought I was selfish thought everybody would go
But the ones who bounced when I stopped overgive
Never wanted me just the service I live

So I sit in this car let the engine run calm
Tell them if you come with me better ride who I am
I do not floor it anymore for a fake scene
Drop the bags on the road that were never my thing

Mmh Oh
I was stuck on auto now I breathe back in

All on my own that ain’t freedom
They praise that grind while it eats my heart
I learn how to land not crash
With the few who see my scared parts
All on my own that ain’t freedom
I give love but not half blind
Raise my hand when it hurts
Who still here that is really mine

Maybe I will never shake all the old code clean
But I trust my gut now when it says that is mean
Learn to say I cannot do it learn to say I need you
That does not make me weak just a little more true

Mmh Oh

All on my own that ain’t freedom
Scars on my chest but I still stand tall
I do not drop my armor for the show
Only where the trust is raw
All on my own that ain’t freedom
But I learn right here in me
I can love and still hold me
I can give and not bleed empty

Main source Fakin the funk

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