this song , song in air quotes, is called "ode to a failed thoughtform". the way i use the word thoughtform is pretty synonymous with the word "idea" but i like it more. the term originates from Vajrayana Buddhism, in tandem with the idea of a "tulpa". it describes the culmination of ideas into an object or entity on the mental plane. i disagree somewhat with modern practices involving these, but i think its applicable to me- i have hyperphantasia, a condition in which the mental image- the minds eye - is much more vivid than normal. its not an uncommon symptom of autism or other neurological conditions, but mine in particular manifests as characters and entities within my imagined world, MY brainstorm, having definite personalities and goals. everything in brainstormed reflects that. i talk to silence, wonder, love, every day. thats where "brainstormed 2: or, HYPERPHANTASIA" comes from. its not a hallucination, im not insane, i just talk to myself a bit. im also not on drugs. i regard gi in a weird place, because i put all this time and love into him and everything. failed. hypnosumer was a disaster made during the worst year of my life, and gi stands for nothing. in a way its poetic, because in the story itself thats true as well - he is without purpose, without speech, without action. the name hypnosumer really doesnt mean anything either, its just the word for sleep tacked onto sumer, the first agricultural civilization. its a dumb name, harkening back to another failed thoughtform, hyperscend, a fighting game, its not important. in the story, at the very last moments in the vivisection, after brainstorm 1, after theia event, after tradgedy of samael, gi stands in a wasteland ruled by an unwilling tyrant, the thrice pierced samael saklas yaldabaoth. and he weeps out of eyes that cannot close, and feeds on weeds with a mouth that cannot do anything but smile, and climbs to the sun of Na'ar,  the third corpse of enoch. and he absorbs it, and his mask is broken, 
and emerges SILENCE/WALKS IN SHADOWS/ END OF THE VIVISECTION, and she, and i say she, becauses shes a goddess, takes up the hammer, and splits open the mask of SETH, and WONDER emerges, and appears before samael, and in divine grace forgives him. and he witness the entirety of existence and his eyes melt out of his skull and his heart explodes and he is destroyed entirely, and all thats left is a man. and silence returns the void to the world, and now there is left only silence and what remains of enoch. and she approaches him, and puts a hand on his twisted and shattered form, and LOVE is returned to the world. and the brainstorm comes, and babel is restored. thats what should have happened. i should have been happy. but it didnt. because the past is the future, because the story is told backwards, and after hypnosumer comes brainstormed 2, but also tragedy of samael. and thats what happened to gi, a tragedy, the tragedy of samael. so it goes. gi should be obvious as an artist self-insert, an observer and creator. hypnosumer also talks of the red god alot, thats me, that was supposed to be me. but im really gi. thank you all for supporting me. tragedy of samael coming sometime. itll take a bit.

this is the part of the song where i apologize for ripping off car seat headrest

loop by https://soundcloud.com/prsmascopl

Ode To A Failed Thoughtform

mdev0