the new stuff

lights go out (remake)

trying to make more music but seriously losing confidence and its taking a lot longer to focus on one song lolol,, ill try to post more <3 <3

play my heart out

idrk what to name this,, might change it later. its been in my drafts for like three months.

fever dream

i can be alone

https://soundcloud.com/jairdelgado -- check him out!! i have a few more tracks from him that im working on!!! :):):)

sunshine (prod. jair)

very messy,, not really how id like it to be but im lazy and uploading it anyway.. unnamed for now idrk what to call it

btw always open for collabs just make sure you know that im very stupid and very lazy and dont always respond

untitled

extremely rough draft,,,, drums are trash,,,,, uuhhhhhhhhhh ill fix it one day ig

lonely

pale blue

recently ive been feeling really mediocre. really thought about leaving music and stopping creating in general but instead just took a little break from working on anything,,,, this was part of an old poem i wrote a while ago and never worked on. kind of a letter to myself. also sorry if i sound really nasally ive been sick for like 3 weeks and two rounds of antibiotics havent worked but i thought i should post something quick. also thanks for 15k total plays!!!

lyrics:My heart, don't you have anything left?
My heart,, stop letting them walk all over your chest, leaving long laboured breaths,
You’re a mess
My heart, he won't dare to touch you when you ask him too, so don't ask him too
I’d like to think you’re smarter than that

I can’t tell you why we’re beating
They can’t help you, no it’s just me
And though I can’t hold you when when you feel defeated
No one knows you like I do.

My heart, we don’t have anything left
My heart,, they found their way into my chest, making sure we’re suppressed
We’re a mess
My heart, he won’t ever love you even if you want him to, so don’t ask him too
I was never smarter than that

All we got is flesh and bone but they want it all Why do I always give it?
Feel the smoke filling up our lungs, every time we give it
We’re alone in this stop begging for help they don’t know us yet
They never will

My heart, don't you have anything left?
My heart,, stop letting them walk all over your chest

I can’t tell you why we’re beating
They can’t help you, no it’s just me
And though I can’t hold you when when  you feel defeated
No one knows you like I do.

don't you have anything left?

my mom took this picture i think,,
a quick track done in a few hours,,,,, was kinda bored -- to everyone ive been working with im sorry ive been taking forever to work on things,, this does mean im going to start working any faster lol,,, im stressed

;;;lyrics;;;
walk me through the fallen leafs
you know I used to love the way it goes
but somewhere along the path, you see
we lost our sense of harmony

and guess its just us, kid, now that we’re gone man we could do anything
i know you wished that, they’d be by your side but you gotta  get over it

they said theyd come back but we know theyre never gonna
and our roots about to break we’re falling with the fauna

now when we pass beyond the trees
all we feel is the fear they bestowed to me
cause somehow they lost their lives to greed
and they never once looked  at the fallen leafs

and guess its just us, kid, now that we’re gone man we could do anything
i know you wished that, they’d be by your side but you gotta get over it

they said theyd come back but we know theyre never gonna
and our roots about to break we’re falling with the fauna

roots

been having a hard time focusing and writing,,,, this is an old draft i never finished so i just added a bit to it and finished writing completely,,,, hopefully ill be more creative soon!!!

lyrics::
ABEC#m
I don’t fit your stereotype, so what am I, what am I?
Unless you’re gonna wanna fight
I think I could get behind, another try, another try

ABC#m
I wanna be a picture perfect family, I’ll be whoever you want me to be
I’m a petty actor, a pretty face
Call me after, tell me to stay
Someday, showcase me - someday, showcase me

ABEC#m
I don’t fit into her clothes, but don’t let me go, let me go
I could lose a couple pounds or so
I could be your chemical, don’t cast me as a cameo, dont cast me as a cameo

I wanna be a picture perfect family, I’ll fit your frame silver screen
I’m a porcelain painting, I’ll take her place
Call me baby, put me on display
Someday, showcase me - someday, showcase me

C#mBE
You’re giving me too much space, you’re holding me back
You’re giving me too much space, you’re holding me back
I wanna love, I wanna love, I wanna love
Someone like you loved her and I loved you
Someone like you loved her and I loved you

ABC#m
I wanna be your Hollywood Superstar, make me famous take me far
Don’t be careful, this could be bliss
Loving you the way she did
Could be better, Just let me stay
This you’ll remember the night we escape

showcase me

xistence sent me a few tracks to write to,, this is the first one i finished ! enjoyy,, check out more of their stuff!
https://soundcloud.com/nihism

head over heels (prod. xistence)

you can be the star

unfinished song i wrote for my ex when he wasnt my ex (hi, and sorry? am i ALLOWEd to post this? im,,, going to,,,)

hands

(edit:: ok i have literally no idea how or WHY the metronome is in it because i DID NOT ADD THAT and i mustve hit a wrong button on garageband or something???)
i wrote this months ago and got help deciding on what to fix/change from the blue moons. been resting on this for a while. its extremely personal,, hard to post. "bet you can't guess what issues i got" is probably the most apparent and obvious line on what im pointing at. each verse is about a different person in my life/past. im unsure if i should keep this up. SKIP TO THE ENDING FOR A COOL KEY CHANGE IF YOU GET BORED


And i need somebody who’s not there for me
Cause he holds me like he loves me but he leaves to chase release
He tells me I’m loved, but he don’t treat me like he means it
He says that I’m enough, but we’re always talking heated
I swear he wants the rush more than he’s ever wanted me

Is it easy wasting your life like that? Am I monster letting him live that that?
Cause love seemed simple but that was a mistake
I’m stuck loving a man who’ll never change his ways

And I need somebody and he needs me too
And how it seems so perfect living life close to you
But you say that you love me, you don’t act like you mean it
Did you only want to love me, if I calmly be defeated?
I swear you want the rush more than you want me

Is it easy wasting your life like that? Am I monster letting you live that that?
Cause love seemed simple but that was a mistake
And now I’ve fallen for another who’s just the same

And you’re just like him, I think you know I talked for hours about how I couldn’t let go
Of the things he’s done but you’ve done them too
I guess I’m better alone, away from people like you

bet you can’t guess what issues i got
you’re like the one who put me through it all
you’re just like the others how it never ends
you take and you take and never give back

oh you got me wrong, i  never knew what you wanted
i didnt mean it  like you thought,  i cant show where your heart is

boys you break me down, always clawing after drama
boys you break me down, manipulating all you wanna

boys

had a dream i became a homewrecker,,,,,, wrote and recorded this in like two hours,,,, hope its garbage

there's no satisfaction here

satisfaction

this is,,,,,,,, not good,, but im TIRED of having it in my drafts,,,, listen,,, its garbage i understand,, i might delete or change something but im SO EXHAUSTED idk this is what you get, damn

loveless

hey, still on a brief break but i was looking through my old garageband files and found this from like a year ago!!! i dont even remember recording it!! once i am done with therapy in a few weeks i will be able to work on more tracks, sorry i havent been productive!!

Eb G7 G# Bb Bb#7
Kept you high, oh my, I think you’re  gonna say something I don’t wanna hear
These days, I can’t see straight, whatever you say, I’ll follow you through the waters dear
It’s high tide, I tried to keep you  but I fear I’m going under, i fear, i fear

Fm Cm G
And oh the earth is crashing around my feet
As I ran towards the ocean to follow your beat

Ab Fm G Cm
Into the sea
I’m looking up
You’re so high and I’m down here
Into the sea
I’m giving up
You’re on top and I’m in tears

Fm Cm G

Eb G7 G# Bb Bb#7
Kept you close, I’d hope, that just once you would look at me the same way
Is it too much to ask just once? these things are not going my way
kept you high, oh i, wish i wasnt going under
going under

Fm Cm G
And oh the earth is crashing around my feet
As I ran towards the ocean to follow your beat

Ab Fm G Cm
Into the sea
I’m looking up
You’re so high and I’m down here
Into the sea
I’m giving up
You’re on top and I’m in tears

Fm Cm G 

Eb G7 G# Bb Bb#7
ill spend on my money on flying to a city where you’ll never find me
i’ll make money by flying past the palm trees, making scenes on tvs
ill spend, ill spend all my money

tides

afar

old friend

https://open.spotify.com/artist/5VF6H8YRei5WHbZdO2iIiX?si=_Qmfq35RQw6XZ6TDyaoQjw
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the new stuff

mehkare merson