produced recorded and mixed entirely by me! im really proud of this one and think this is the style i'm gonna go with for the forseeable future. the ultra lo-fi high pitched drum machine rock shit was fun and I might revisit it soon but I'm moving on from it for now. doesn't really reflect where I am mentally. been a long time since i made a rock song just because i really wanted to get this right. enjoy !

this song's chord progression and lyrics are really important to me. I wrote the first verse and chorus in may and this song has been the first thing I play when I pick up a guitar since then too. cannot stress how much this release means to me

lyricz:
i feel like i am dead
cant get outside my heaad my head
i feel like i cant move
just dont know what to doooo
to do

i hate being alive
slit my wrist i wanna die
wish i wasnt such a guy
stay inside like all the time
life just feels like such a pain
i really hate everything
motivation is so drained
and i really hate my face like
oooo
been so long since i have cleaned my rooom
been so long since i have made my fucking bed
i feel so made fun of by all of my friends
and
i feel so degen
i wake myself
at 1 pm
i hate this life
i think of death
but im too scared 
of nothingness
im not prepared
to leave this world
i wish i was
an average girl
instead i struggle to feel real
instead i struggle to see a life where i pay bills

i feel like i am dead
cant get outside my heaadd my head
i feel like i cant move
just dont know what to doooo
to do

i dont kno why i try
bad decisions i just cry
see incisions on my thighs
next to prickly bumps of mine
nigga everything is strange
why do i feel so much pain
my hair feels so disarayed
and i cannot feel okay
li ke 
i do not have no power
feel like my life is over
only have me to blame
throw on a skirt and
run outside again
embarassing
myself for hours
feel ashamed a stupid troon
ive fucked my life too soon
i know i’m not doing too well
i’ll end up a jisatsu girl
if i don’t grab onto myself
if i don’t lose my fucking mind without some help

jisatsu girl (自殺)

Pessemistic Blues

I Feel Fine

one take ill step on the gas
im going way too fast
hoping that i dont crash
hoping that my life lasts
im feeling way to horrible
my mind is feeling really dull
ive been out of it lately
i think everyone hates me
feels like its constant raining
and that theres no escaping
ive been getting thoughts in my head 
text her phone dont leave me on read
i dont even know what you said
i look like such a fucking mess
spin out of control and idk what to do
if i was to rot today i would still think about you

ive been out of it lately :(

i'll never become the man that i wanted to be
and every time i look into a mirror, i feel a new wave of agony
but once your face comes into focus, all the misery goes away
the thoughts that once took my life have suddenly let go

i push the bangs that cover half of her face
her green eyes staring back at me
darling kiss me one more time
before these thoughts take over my mind
i need you here, my dear

my lips are getting colder
i need you close to me tonight
no more will you feel afraid
angel, let me sew our hearts together

reach out, don't let go, baby
so far, yet you still touch my heart
just another moment, you'll be in my arms
we'll let our blood drip and fall together

cut me open
make me bleed
in the name of love
lick my blood clean
in the name of love
kiss me violently

my lips are getting colder
i need you close to me tonight
no more will you feel afraid
angel, let me sew our hearts together

with broken hearts and bloody knives

the first single from my upcoming album, "sweet tooth and the cavities that follow"

music video on youtube!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aa-xk80gT3o

---

I want cruelty flooding through my veins
And I want to make the same mistakes
When I call I hope you won't pick up
When I fall hope you don't give a fuck

And I don't wanna go out tonight
Why can't we just stay inside?
My deeds can't be washed away
I'd rather just go insane

But you read me like an open book
That gut feeling never could be shook
When I call I hope that you'll pick up
When I fall hope that you'd give a fuck

And I don't wanna go out tonight
Why can't we just stay inside?
Stay inside
Stay inside

pillbug anatomy class

(Throwaway track)

it stings when you stick and poke
cant remember all those nights that we spent alone
your palm against my fucking neck when you start to choke
yeah it's your favorite spot when you get black out drunk
until you've had enough

you always wanna touch me
whenever you get lonely
you promise that you wont
but you're really bad at lying

you always wanna touch me
whenever you get lonely
you promise that you wont
but you're really bad at lying

I think about you all the time
I can't ever ask you why
I don't wanna go outside
I just wanna fucking die
when you tell me I'm alright
and I should do it or I'm high
yeah you're such a lovely guy
when you tell me I should die

I can write a hundred thousand words
I hate about you
travel down my chest & up my skirt
when I'm without you
point it to my neck
then by my throat
before I bite you
forget the stupid things I ever said
I never liked you

I never liked you

I get weak when I look in your eyes
cant you see I'm ready to die
feed me pills and all of your lies
say your prayers and say your goodbyes

I get weak when I look in your eyes
cant you see I'm ready to die
feed me pills and all of your lies
say your prayers and say your goodbyes

maybe I can hold your hand
think that I doubt it
when I see you walk across my lens
tell me about the little things that you still regret
the thought about you makes my cheeks go 
crimson red when you touch me there

I get weak when I look in your eyes
cant you see I'm ready to die
feed me pills and all of your lies
say your prayers and say your goodbyes

I get weak when I look in your eyes
cant you see I'm ready to die
feed me pills and all of your lies
say your prayers and say your goodbyes

(fyi I don't support drug use, S/H, S/A, or suicide-- if you do actually struggle with those things please reach out to a professional)

friends

walking through the forest im all alone
running away from what i call home
but im so scared of the dark
im crying so hard as i walk

i hear a loud voice scream but it sounded near
so i dropped my bags and checked everywhere
but theres nothing here im so scared 
im so scared
im so scared!!!

someone help please
im yelling loudly 
im being chased by a shadow
im going crazy
i tripped right over a rock and then he caught me
he carries me into the air i started shouting

please dont hurt me
ill do anything
it stares right into my soul and started laughing
he grabs my throat and squeezes me i started choking
smiling and grinning while im in the air dying

at my rescue 
is a girl
with a light so bright
that i just might turn blind

she picks me up off the ground
and hugs me tight
and for the very first time
i felt alright




















romantic nightmare

flowrpot

MONSTER

Ghost Town (Miss U)

im tryna make big bucks
pop out wit dat stick bruh
my k9 niggas renegades
n chrome hearts on my fit dawg
n every day im motherfuckin ballin with my wrist cut
bawling with my wrist cut
wasian shawty look like vriska
oh yea and our fits tuff	!
I b on my shit bruh
us always thats my vision
kno u not my bitch, but i still dream of when our lips touch
swear u all i need i only see u thru da discord (WRUFF!! WRUFF!!)
all these niggas lame yuh
i swear they dont get us
akk these niggas lame girl
i swear they dont get us
light it up like christmas
designer on my fitt bruh
my niggas get to business
call me when u need girl
u kno ill always pick up erry day
all this za u smoke in, yuh blow it in my face (okay!)
i would do like anythang for u as only in my place
like lets just rush it we can run it up lets save like 20k
n smoke these weed like lets just fuck it up, or i cant b okay
i luv my niggas yuh! and dat bitch bruh
im jus wit my k9angelgirlz they are my sistas
shout my homegurl ally yea she always choppin shit up
every single day im fuckin balling with my wrist cut
bawling with my wrist cut
wasian shawty look like vriska
yuhhh
yuhhh
all these niggas lame they do not get us
light it up like christmas
god i need u too much i jus want her as my bitch bruh
wasian shawty look lyke vriskaa

yayaayayaya
yayayayaya

vriska freeverse (FLIPNOTE HATENA VOL2 OUT NOW!!)

♀ 7/28/2022
k9angelgirlz till i decay!
VILEVORTEX4L

vriska freeverse (FLIPNOTE HATENA VOL2 OUT NOW!!)

melodyx_o ^_^ (@mymelodyx_o)

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