i found u in my related and im so glad i did

This is my first song since my cancer diagnosis back in December of last year, my hiatus is OVER.

Producer: HeyLee Manzeron
Mastering: HeyLee Manzeron
Cover Artwork: Annalyceart

Lyrics: 
Well, I think I finally found myself this time
And I don’t know, it’s just a surprise
How I deal with life has changed the way I see the world

‘Cause you don’t see the way I see things
I don’t want you to
I don’t feel like you’re part of my mind
Escaping from my fingertips

Change the way I see the sun
I know it’s good for everyone
Escaping from my patient lips
You’re out of time
And out of sight
And out of mind
The nuisance of identity
Is this the life that’s meant for me?
Will I ever come to accept the way I feel inside?

I think I knew what it was
I didn’t feel it in myself
If I take all my fears,
Put em in a box and on the shelf
I don’t want to be yours
But I don’t want to have no help
I don’t wanna feel alone

‘Cause you don’t see the way I see things
I don’t want you to
I don’t feel like you’re part of my mind
Escaping from my patient lips

Change the way I see the sun
I know it’s good for everyone
Escaping from my patient lips
You’re out of time
And out of sight
And out of mind
The nuisance of identity
Is this the life that’s meant for me?
Will I ever come to accept the way I feel inside?

Binary Place Pt. 2

produced by deadends and melon

baby come n find me
right in the fields
tfinking about her
witha cup of tee
hope youll find me
before us dissapear

baby yeah thats fair enouf
she said she canttt love me nowwww
im wandering i canttt move on (im a warrior)
you must be my querencia
im watchin over you from afar
no i donet wanna hurt you so much : (
i dont even know who you are
tho you became essential
to me

querencia

linktr.ee/lottaheart

-wish carried-

@lottaheart
yeah its been along day, i don't wanna go out
when i go home i'mma stay in my house
knew me all wrong, you don't know what i'm bout
never even listened to a word out my mouth
[x2]

@whywewish
its been a, long day
thats why im takin these pills to my, long face 
i cant climb up these hills, ill say 
im okay, but that isnt whats real 
they say these drugs are the devil, well fuck it i made a deal wit em 
ugh, havent slept in 3 nights 
mixin triss up in my liquor, idc if i die 
n you say that ur alright, but its lies, baby i can see it all in ur eyes 

yeah, n mama tell me that my heart gold 
but honestly mama lately i think my hearts cold 
the labels hit me? honestly, ill get my soul sold 
she say she love me, baby that statement is so bold 
s.a.d, doctors say im hatin me 
they gave me new medication said "fuck that, i aint takin these" 
i been fightin my demons, n its just me vs me 
n when i look in the mirror, you dont wanna know what i see

@lottaheart
yeah its been along day, i don't wanna go out
when i go home i'mma stay in my house
knew me all wrong, you don't know what i'm bout
never even listened to a word out my mouth
[x2]

recluse w/ whywewish [metlast x 5head]

produced melon

lay awake n think of her hair, god i followed that deer
now shes always near but no shes never here
tell me love is not fair, always leaves me with that fear
i really tried to appeal guess the time wasent ideal

only think of you dear but im such a loser
no i dont wanna lose her
rather let her break my heart 
dont want a new girl

hair

it's hard

lyrics:
i scribbled symphonies of peace to cope with finding out the truth
worked as needed reaching what middle school me would think was cool
fiddling pens and pencils pensive wasn’t picky with the tool
i’d use for some naive translation of my angst and fragile mood

i can’t afford it now

growing pains replaced with what the bills are like in winter now
since the cold ascended i can’t shake the taste of poetry
phonetically imperfect pretty speech protruding out of me
im cramming syllables to cry of colder temps and picture books
reliving twisted memories romanticizing what it took
to be alive surviving prerip jeans and social trends
extending my insistence on reliving those remember when’s

it’s a fucked up toxic endeavor

middle child needs attention to feel valid who’da guessed it?
choose an evening to feel hollow with my grief i’ve been selective
been a lot of things over the years but never been objective
i’m a passive dude

some would call it sitting fence and when i’m honest i probably would too
at my expense i picked the easiest escape when i could
now im desperate to do something i should

cause there’s something bout finality that scares me
wavered care perpetuated the impression that i’m distant and aware
of ticking hours minutes seconds sticking strictly to my regiment
rejected any message i was yet to learn my lesson
started strong and i accepted that’s enough to use the leverage
and projected progress farther now it’s a little more than hard
to understand i’m on a limit always finish weaker than i started
know how to begin but stutter further in the tempo how ironic

looking in the mirror a song by melmige thank you for listening [prod. eeryskies]

thank u for listening <3

prod idly blare
mix/master help from @vito2300

lyrics:
can i lay beside you
watching the clouds
when they spell out i love you
can you say it out loud
when the birds sing 
just for you
ill help make it more pronounced
while the flowers bloom just for you
i hope i make you proud

you're so beautiful x100

can i lay beside you
watching the clouds
when they spell out i love you
can you say it out loud
when the birds sing 
just for you
ill help make it more pronounced
while the flowers bloom just for you
i hope i make you proud

jitters

prod. kill breanna x caves x safeatlast

dont try me
im not me 
i dont eat 
i dont sleep
oh
and im still 
looking at the sky
wondering why
and wasting my time
the ninja dude never hit the lightpoles
i always find out where you go
youre enough, i promise baby
no one else could ever save me
i take every step too, and it fucking pains me
and im focused on you, all the time maybe...
i did it all for you and no i dont regret it
i prance over the flowers and it kills them! . .
im sorry that i dont stand up for me, but,
im really not the same as i ever was,
now ill always say what i (truly) want
who are you, and who am i?
dont try me
im not me 
i dont eat 
i dont sleep
oh
and im still 
looking at the sky
wondering why
and wasting my time
the ninja dude never hit the lightpoles
i always find out where you go
youre enough, i promise baby
no one else could ever save me
i take every step too, and it fucking pains me
and im focused on you, all the time maybe...
i did it all for you and no i dont re.. gret.. it
i prance over the flowers and it kills them..
i prance over the flowers and it kills them.. :')
i wish i wasnt him, and such a victim
(i know im not!!)
(i know im not!!!!)
who are you and who am i?
who are you and who am i?
who are you and who am i?
who are you and who am i?
who are you and who am i!!!
who are you and who am i?
who are you and who am i?
who are you and who am i?
who are you and who am i-

every step too

produced by melon

all the flaws you seem to see on your skin
just show how beautiful youve always been
shouldent care about what those people think
your soul must be the most beautiful thing

im out looking for you, got green foliage around
i feel rather nervous when im talking to you now
and when i lay awake yeah im thinking about us
if it all goes wrong no i wont give you up

would do it all again, sticking to my path
for you i would change almost everything
you know that, you know that
you know that, you know that

wish that i could do something for you
i can give you space, oh yeaj i would
shouldent carry all of that weight
oh i´ll stick until it changes

would do it all again, sticking to my path
for you i would change almost everything
you know that, you know that
you know that, you know that

path

produced by melon

waking up in the morning know you got overwhelmed
the words keep coming out, wish i know what i could say
being patient with you, guess some time will help
sorry im out of pocket, sometimes i cant hold back

hope you know (i dont wanna make you feel this way)
yeah, sometimes i can be really selfish, im sorry
hope you know (maybe you the one for i would stay)
yeah, without you i dont have any purpose, im worried

see in your eyes, the weight upon, upon your shoulders
the burden you hide, i stumble my words, then tell you im sorry
im overly cautious, when we´re not talking, i overthink shit
yeah, i trust you, tho sometimes it gets hard to think clear
with you, away
disappear
going nowhere
(going no where)

hope you know (i dont wanna make you feel this way)
yeah, sometimes i can be really selfish, im sorry
hope you know (maybe you the one for i would stay)
yeah, without you i dont have any purpose, im worried

everyone reminds me of you, at times
i think i lost my mind, so goes day by night
making it last, i dont wanna just remember this
cant leave you again, dont want you to be my memory
my thoughts fly round n round like the bees right here
yeah you are out of my town, while i dont know where to be

hope you know (i dont wanna make you feel this way)
yeah, sometimes i can be really selfish, im sorry
hope you know (maybe you the one for i would stay)
yeah, without you i dont have any purpose, im worried

patient

fine fine alright ok (hero)

produced by lostcage
enjoy -.-

lyrics:
is this real life?
and is this really happening?
do i feel right, cause i start to overthink
my parents would'nt understand a single thing i say

my parents would'nt, my parents would'nt understand

talking to you is like the best time of the day for me
talk to me cause i hate the time when u dont talk to me
walk with me cause i wanna hold ur hand just walk with me
talk to me, baby can u talk to me?

(stare, stare me in my eyes
brown, hazel brown your sight
look me deeply in my eyes, tinted blue but i am still a kid inside
i don't understand what i am even tryna say here
my head is just so complex i don't get it myself dear)

i think i fall in love again
i think i really like u damn
i love u hope u don't forget
i'll be waiting till u say ot back
i love u hope u don't forget
i'll be waiting till u say ot back

querencia

melon

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