june 15, 2021.

i'm 21 years old, now.

i'm to a point i believe more in strength in numbers than ever before.
i've surrounded myself with people i don't feel scared or unsure about being myself around.
i'm coming to terms better with the fact it's okay to let loose whatever's going on in my head. i have to be careful with where i do it, and who i do it towards, as i could very well be rattling off to the wrong person and...get nothing in return. but,
i have to remember that mistakes don't mean it's the end of it all.
i really, really have to remember the above thing. (lol)
i have to remember with the future comes oppurtunity. whatever unfilled spots will eventually round out.

i have to remember what i have. i have to remember all of them and why i'm so grateful for them. why i love them so much. why i spend every day with them and never get tired of it. why i keep going so i can hear their joy. 

i have to remember i can't just quit.
they want me to continue. and i love them.

i never thought i'd get this far. i say that every year, but i mean it every time.

2020 and this year definitely kicked my ass but they really do feel like the first two years i've ever truly, been me. now i just have to face what's ahead. it's hard but it's getting easier.

i truly feel it's getting easier. despite everything.

from dreams of stillbirth

song about friends

aster's audio diary / aural component to the "astroblur" project, established 2012.

Comments

psychedelic hemorrhage butthole

ezip

Phin Neptune

astroblur

ϐ∘℃⊲⋂⋏ⁿ