-PRODUCTION/CAST-
freddy fazbear: AdamDRB

boyfriend: Fightmarker​ 


Written By: Michael Stark, ThatTacoGod & Raichous

Beat Produced By: InsaneBeatz

Vocals Mixed By: Fightmarker

Beat Mixed By: Freshy Kanal

Logo By: CannibalWorms

Thumbnail By: Commander Jacob

LYRICS:
ANNOUNCER
Let's give it up for Stark’s Rap Battles!
Freddy Fazbear
Versus
Boyfriend
Begin!

Freddy Fazbear (0:32 - 0:43):
Hey there kiddos, are you ready for some Freddy Fazbear Fun?
Think you got what it takes? Seems you’re pretty dum da-dum dum dum dumb!
Been a cult classic for years, this child can’t step to my stage to try it
Stalkin’ the halls, you know I’m makin’ the calls when I strike on the Mike… Schmidt
(Record scratch, beat cuts)

Boyfriend (Speaking 0:43 - 0:46):
(clears throat)
Uh, first of all, I’m nineteen..

Boyfriend (0:46 - 0:56):
And it’s Friday Night, I’ll survive alright, sittin’ through your verse’ll be no sweat!
Hold the Phone, Guy, I’ve faced my girl’s Dad, you think you’re a threat?
Of all the Freddyies who’ve Left-Lefty, I’d prefer Krueger R-Right now
But if beating this furry’s how it’s gotta be, you know what’s Up, you’re goin’ Down!

Freddy Fazbear (0:56 - 1:18):
Your rhymes fall flat just like PaRappa, but of your rappers, I’d prefer him
How ironic, a Flash-y DDR game can’t keep a rhythm!
Tried to make New Ground but now I’ll put you under: six feet
Cause I'm owning MCs more often than when your Shit Leaks!
I got the Spring-Lock on the win, chompin’ your lobe like a tasty lemon
Shock the audience so much Mark’ll go: “WAS THAT THE BAR OF 87?!”
Even Pico’s got you Schooled, think you rule? We’ll see when this simp’s crew falls
I mean, you put your life on the line, just because you had some blue balls?

Boyfriend (1:18 - 1:50):
With how Mangled your lore’s gotten, tell me, where’s this L in your timeline?
‘Cuz when rockin’ rhymes’s in my storyline, I’ll set your soul free when I drop the mic
Week after week I spit it Sick!, night after night your spirit sits
Withering, wasting away like your games, but I'll put an end to your gimmick quick!
I’ve fought against hitmen and demons, you think you scare me, Casper?
You can take your clan of Afton gaspers and have ‘em bowin’ down to the spittin’ master
(Yawn) You’re as boring as your gameplay, Sit N’ Survive, rinse and repeat
But if you wanted to put me to sleep, you’d better think twice when I’m killin’ the beat!
I’m X-in’ out this bear’s eyes, even your band knows I fight hard
Puttin’ these Freaky robots in their place, call me the Friday Night Guard
Even after all these weeks I’m keepin’ the lead, just go back to your relevance staying eerie
With the flow from within I’m clinchin’ the win, and no, that’s not just A Theory!

Freddy Fazbear (1:50 - 2:01):
After Five Nights of Fridays, your Funk has run out of power
Workin’ 12 to 6 doesn’t make you slick, Balloon Boy’s clone would cower-
And stand there with his maw wide open, get the suit ready, blow the confetti
Time to leave another soul in your game, if anyone else should dare test Freddy...

ANNOUNCER
Who was the FUNKIEST on the beat?
Who do you wanna see battle next?
Well, you decide! 
(Funky ad-libs)
Stark’s… Rap… Battles!


All Five Nights At Freddy’s properties are owned by Scott Cawthon
All Friday Night Funkin’ properties are owned by ninjamuffin99

Freddy Fazbear (Five Nights At Freddy’s) vs Boyfriend (Friday Night Funkin’) | SRB

-PRODUCTION/CAST-
RAID: Shadow Legends - Freshy Kanal
NordVPN - Snakebite126​
Squarespace - Michael Stark
Skillshare - SimplyRazzy
Audible - Eric The Audible
Raycons - Commander Jacob
Dollar Shave Club - swizkii
Loot Crate - Fightmarker
Honey - K.C.
G-Fuel - Matthew Thomas

Written By: Michael Stark, Snakebite126, Zawesome, Seth, SimplyRazzy, Commander Jacob, Matthew Thomas, Ultimate145, Quinoa & Mason G

Produced By: raccobeats, Anywaywell, InsaneBeatz, Epistra, Prophecy Productions, Kevin MacLeod, & Kustom

Mixed & Mastered By: Freshy Kanal

Logo & Cover By: Commander Jacob

Lyrics: https://docs.google.com/document/d/13CIRpJEdeQ_zMIzL1bxwqEm-DJzZBzxAfNyWvdVptTg/edit?usp=sharing

RAID: Shadow Legends vs. NordVPN | Live Rap Battles

-PRODUCTION/CAST-
Henry Stickmin - Mancha (UBERocity)
Phil Eggtree - Fightmarker​

Written By: Michael Stark, M!CAH, & Mason G

Produced By: Epistra

Mixed & Mastered By: Freshy Kanal

Logo By: Cannibal Worms

Cover By: Commander Jacob

Lyrics:
ANNOUNCER
Let's give it up for Stark’s Rap Battles!
Henry Stickmin
Vs
Phil Eggtree
Begin!

HENRY STICKMIN
The father of Newgrounds is bound to ground this unpunny Flash hack
Who thinks he can step to Stickmin, guess he hasn’t seen my clap back!
Henry chooses Gas Raps to combat Phil’s not-so-Swift sadness
Even your OG design adds up to complete Madness!
I mean, you’re messing with the best mercenary since Red or Blu
My games are a blast when I bring laughs, no one can say the same about you
So riddle me this, if you can, we know you’re not the sharpest bulb in the shed
How can you claim to have fame when you’re put to shame by another egg?
Who’s got a 98% rating on Steam? Me!
Who’s game birthed a dev team and a whole company from a meme?
But then who’s schtick got old fast with each recurring scheme?
Cuz it’s not me who’s cranking sequels just to make ends meet, geez!

PHIL EGGTREE
A whole decade for your first words? I must say, I’m thrilled
In this scrap you’re getting capped, regardless of the gimmicks you instill
Just a bully taking dollars, but got no digits on the weight scale!
So come at me, stick bug, this loss’ll be your 348th fail!
Spitting colder than Zack- er, hotter than Zack, a twig’ll get snapped when I’m on the attack
But if I tried to sit through your whack class I’d end up falling asleep on the track!
Stickmin’s just a Ghost Inmate, so there’s no need to keep my guard up
Hard to Escape Prison when you’ve been surrounded by my bars, huh?
I’ll still be the one collecting coin, while you’re lacking common cents
And after all your countless antics, I’d think you’d grasp some common sense
With all those video game tie-ins, you constantly seem to harp
For one who prides himself on intelligence, that wasn’t very… pointy
Once I crack the case of this basketcase, then he’ll truly see-
That when it comes to tricking teachers or ditching class, I always have the key!
No Valiant Hero, you snitched on the army just to pinch more cash
Just a selfish thief with jealous deeds, I’ve got this in the bag! (Ha!)

HENRY STICKMIN
I toppled the Toppats, Government, Wall, you know I got the sleek flow too
Your whole deal is “bargain bin Ferris Bueller hit with a dash of Pico’s School!”
But if you really wanna compare us, I’ll serve this Egghead over easy
My countless achievements to your minor victories? Hmmm, lets see:
Small startup gains some traction, gauging YouTubers’ reactions
Yet you couldn’t hold a fraction to the sweet deals that I’m packin’
Banks, Prisons, Airships, Complexes, I’ve beat them all, and then-
What did you do, that’s new? Oh yeah! Escaped school… again...
Priceless gems? I steal em; Brighter friends? You need em
I’m Breakin’ Banks and taking tanks, you use plot holes for your freedom!
No matter what you point and click, I top your “Legacy Edition” any day
But it seems like I had no trouble “Completing the Diss-ion” anyway!

PHIL EGGTREE
This beaver’s spittin’ ‘gainst this bread crumb from the internet’s trash can-
Now after countless parodies, this rash distraction’s at his last stand
Tried to capitalize on nostalgia, relying on old, tired game cliches
While I’ve been going strong for many years and I’m still free to play! (Ay!)
Your lines are paper thin, cutting less than your “valid stingers”
I’ve seen sicker stick figure spitters come out of Salad Fingers
No matter what the timeline, that whole verse was your lamest sad jam
Mission Failed! You shoulda stuck with Charles if you wanted the Greatest Rap Plan! (Oh!)

ANNOUNCER
Who was the Flashiest?
Who do you wanna see battle next?
Well, you decide! 
This has been Stark’s Rap Battles, we’ll see ya next time!

Henry Stickmin vs. Phil Eggtree | SRB

-PRODUCTION/CAST-
Bowser Jr. - Swoldow EVGRB
Lancer - GamingPlush64
Bowser - Alex M.
King Spade - Mr. Klock​

Written By: Michael Stark, Mason G, CannibalWorms, Fightmarker, Raichous, & GamingPlush64

Produced By: Dr. Dee

Mixed & Mastered By: Mr. Klock​

Logo By: Cannibal Worms

Cover By: Commander Jacob

Lyrics:
ANNOUNCER
Let’s give it up for Stark’s Rap Battles!
In the left corner, we have, Bowser Jr. and King Bowser
Vs
Lancer and King Spade
Begin!

BOWSER JR.
I’m gonna hop in my Airship and blast these Spades to pieces
Cuz even my Bullet Bills travel faster than your releases
All my cannons and minions are gonna scare you like King Boo
Your dad had to command his in order for them to like you
We’re gonna delta-ruin you, you can say we’re spittin’ fire
You behave not like a king’s son, but as a Jevil for hire!
Biting your face off like Susie, better get your bucket ready
And don’t rely on your father, with a bond that unsteady
Your maturity at this rate won’t make you “son of the year”
I'll fold this deck of cards so that they never interfere
Why don’t you work on evil speeches if you think you’re so Clover
In conclusion, you’re just a loner, leftover, seceding crossover

LANCER
You clowns’ll get thrashed when I take my bike and bulldoze
You’ll be Koopa-Trippin when you stumble over your Dry Flows
Nintendo's ace in the hole, only dug out with a spade
To rehash his bratty role in Smash and games nobody played
Same plot, same hero, same villain, same stencil
Acting like a Spooky Sword, but raps Halloween Pencils
Now I can’t say tier two curses, but I swear we’ll be your doom
I can’t take you seriously because you’re small as a shroom
Don’t you ever give up? You’re in my Shadow, that’s no question
And it’s fitting you’re a junior, cuz in this battle you’ll be second
So here, read the signs, it’s about time you found your answer
“Ho ho ho! Well if you’re reading this you’re dead!”, signed, Lancer

BOWSER
Alright Slugger, time for me to leave this figment out of luck
“LoOk At Me! Im InDiE!” just means you’re a Delta-level schmuck
You little brat, shut your trap before I slam you to the ground
And as for papa, well, he plays second fiddle to King Round! 
We reuse elements? (Ha!) You have your son’s laugh but deeper! 
Knock down your house of cards, as the conflict gets steeper
You need the Eastern Fountain to keep rule over your land?
I order the kidnappings of royalty with the wave of my hand
Check my castle, you ain’t got Jack, I’ve got way more traps than you could stab at
You Kris-crossed the gaming scene, now Toby's mad at MatPat
You wanna be a better rapper? Why don't you give the truth a whirl? 
You will always be inferior, no one can choose who they are in this world. 

KING SPADE
It’s the Bad Guy’s verse, I’ll show you some real villainy 
Dis-Kaard your bad raps, would you really hurt my mini-me?
Double Dash out this battle, that’s all you can seem to do
I’m a true Darkner! (Yeah!) My subjects are more useful than your crew!
When it comes to the best villains, you’re no diamond in the rough
You’re too soft and emotionally vulnerable, HeartsDonut? (Evil Laughter)
Do us all a favor, jump off the edge and press Down B
All anyone needs to know is that chopping down your bridge is the key
I feel for your motherless thunderous kids, King Bowser, really, I do
But unfortunately my loyalty resides solely with my Knight's crew!
I thoroughly enjoyed crushing you turtle scum in this battle
Now kneel before your King and become my personal chattel

ANNOUNCER
Who took the rap throne?
Who do you wanna see battle next?
You decide!
Stark’s Rap Battle

Bowser Jr. & King Bowser vs. Lancer & King Spade (YouTube Release) | SRB

-PRODUCTION/CAST-
Michael Myers - Fightmarker
The Immortal Snail - JustGamer

Written By: Michael Stark, JustGamer, Nooby, Swoldow EVGRB, 01Tyler10, Eric The Audible, Kamren the Person, Triple-Stabber, & Joosh

Produced By: Dansonn

Mixed & Mastered By: Fightmarker

Art By: Nooby & 01Tyler10

Logo By: Cannibal Worms

Cover By: Michael Stark

Lyrics:
ANNOUNCER
Let’s give it up for Stark’s Rap Battles!
Michael Myers
vs
The Immortal Snail
Begin!

MICHAEL MYERS
...
...
...
...

THE IMMORTAL SNAIL
Now that Michael’s done with his warm up, this gastro-pog can escargot
You’ve been thirsting for the same girl since your twenties: Halloween H20
But if you’re tryna get lit, then I can spit some more fire
So go ahead and keep breathing on the mic, ASMyeRs
Your series started smooth, but now you’ve seem to have run your course 
How ironic Rob Zombie took your franchise and turned it to a rotting corpse
Got the conch shell drip, can't leave me stabbed in the back 
You’re more of a pussy than Mike Myers playing the Cat In The Hat 

MICHAEL MYERS
I’ve had it with your “tough schtick”, and they say I’m sluggish?
How are you acting so salty when you can’t even touch it?
Well this ain’t Christmas, but you better make way for this haunting slasher
People strategize to fight me, you’re put to rest with just a Saltine, cracker
I’m evil, and lethal, your attempts to cut me are feeble
Got sequels and prequels to make fans squeal, we’re not equal
I’m scary, you’re Gary, you just squirm there while I’m ruthless
Just another I’ve set ablaze- a second Dr. Loomis

THE IMMORTAL SNAIL
I’m surprised you wanted to fight me, didn’t shells make you blind? 
Now you’re tryna bust a rhyme? But you’d get your ass beat, you’re not that guy
I could just wait for your resetting timelines to kill you again 
Then maybe after one last damn retcon, Halloween can finally end…

MICHAEL MYERS
I got carved into horror by Carpenter, you just a stupid meme
Relevance barely getting by, by the skin of its Rooster Teeth
Just like all the memes before you, you’re completely forgettable
And your win’s like your whole existence, fully hypothetical


ANNOUNCER
Who was the slowest?
Who do you want to see battle next?
Well, you decide!
This has been Stark’s Rap Battles, we’ll see you next time!

Michael Myers vs. The Immortal Snail | SRB

LYRICS:

ANNOUNCER
It’s Live Rap Battles!
Salad Fingers… vs… Bob & Larry!
Lights, Camera, Action!

Bob & Larry (0:09)
If you’d like to rap ‘gainst tomatoes
If you want to get squashed with style
If you’d like to get mashed, potatoes
If you want the freshest lines, up and come down to the produce aisle

Since 1993, we've been airing on NBC
Teaching kids about their ABCs and BC
I’d say to read the Good Book, but I doubt you can read
Even our PC could out-diss this NPC

That nonsense plot you got seems randomly generated
Buncha empty symbolism to get theorists speculatin’
Chapters tossed together with no afterthought that’s integrated
Not at all refreshing - this word salad needs refrigeratin’

We broke New-Grounds; Managed to withstand demand
While you became the definition of Flash in the pan 
We won't listen to you (Lalalalalala); So you should just stay canned
We heard you’re really really good at talking to the hand

Salad Fingers (0:48)
Oh, hello, I'm Salad Fingers
Ahhh, a fellow standing figure
Thought the Great War left the land at the brink of destruction, so how have these plants lingered? (Ahhh)

It must be the Hand of God you're grabbing on as these vegetables haven't gone off
But your season has ended, these greens are now left as a fertilizer for their God's lawn

Ooh, spilling the tea? Better put on the kettle
Phil and Mike milk these vegetables more than my Nettles
The shepherd was impaled and his sheep follows, a-many
Hung up upon my heat, (Mmm) Kabob and Larry

Bob & Larry (1:17)
We read the Bible every day but that verse was really really wrong
Tried spitting green and mean, but it’s all just Silly Songs
We're headed for Heaven, it's been written in the scripture
You’re going to Hell. This kid named Salad Finger!

But don’t blaspheme, Larry, it displeases the Lord
What happened? Does David Firth not upload anymore?
We’re takin’ you to Sunday School! You’d better repent
or better yet, this Boogeyman should up and kill himself again!

Salad Fingers (1:37)
I was animated by a sole chap, so it’s rather poor 
That a whole sodding team made these CGI-sores
The fact that you’re more horrific than I am’s rather sickening
Making green off preaching prejudice and racist bigotry

Despite your devotion, you’re group isn’t blessed
Thou lied and are posing as “fruitful” instead
Queer; Quite the convoluted cut of clustered tales
That taste of soot and poo, are you Hubert Cucumberdale?

Larry Boy, a savior? I prefer Bibleman
Series so dead, I've seen Kenneth more alive, in fact 
Call me Qubo, as I again led you to the slaughter
Ahhh…. I do so enjoy the red water…

GamingPlush64 as Salad Fingers

SimplyRazzy as Bob the Tomato
Snakebite126 as Larry the Cucumber
Joosh as Junior Asparagus

Written By: 3ple, Michael Stark, SimplyRazzy, Mabel Pines, Jamie12o4, We Think Company, greenisnotprimary, & Cri
Produced By: Freshy Kanal
Mixed By: Michael Stark

Salad Fingers vs. Bob & Larry - Live Rap Battles

LYRICS:

ANNOUNCER
Let’s give it up for Stark’s Rap Battles!
Doc Brown and Marty McFly vs. Unus Annus!
Begin!

Doc and Marty (0:13):
Great Scott, Marty! We’ve finally arrived in 2022!
Ah jeez Doc, that’s heavy! We got any roasting fuel? Plenty, dude!
I’ve calculated the precise kinds of slights, said in such a tone and way that-
A coward and his masochist friend would have no chance of coming back

Unus & Annus (0:26):
Sorry to cut you off, Doctor, but time waits for no one, that’s absolutely true,
And like sand slipping through the Hourglass of Time, the end has come for you, too
We pride ourselves on our knowledge of death… And we embrace the end to come!
You tryna rap fast to surpass 88, but your track is barely passed mile one

Doc and Marty (0:39):
Your influence was just a grain of sand compared to our pop culture prowess
I mean cooking with sex toys, eating oobleck? It’s like their whole channel was just a loud mess!
This bad fad, cash grab cult’s got its whole moral philosophy in question
They’ll need something stronger than helium for their post-loss therapy session

Unus & Annus (0:52):
We’re Hunger Games victors, your defeat’s in the pictures, it’s clear that we’ve won
When you attempt your best to flex your predictability, surprising no one!
Your movie might be a cult classic, but we leave viewers truly awe-stricken
We’re drawin’ the line, leaving you petrified, hypnotizing another couple chickens

Doc and Marty (1:05):
Nobody calls me chicken! (Nope!) You just hunt for YouTube clickin’! (True!)
With all of that dairy around, you’re really milkin’ the content you’re fixin’
It’s really truly pathetic, with your “who’s the better host?” drama
This battle will be your biggest regret;  Even more than Pee Sauna!
I mean really, a pee sauna? What exactly were you two thinking?
Looking to your fans for more content? Not even Chica could save you from sinking!
I’ve never seen anything cornier than these Del morons begging for sponsorships!
But based on reuploads, Mark, this battle would be another time you’ve lost your shit

Unus & Annus (1:32):
Is anybody home? I don’t think so, think McFly, think!
You take the most minor inconveniences, find time to make a big stink-
And then you get your little happy ending, plot barren and you’re callin’ us corny?
It’s clear to see you’re history, when your biggest legacy is Rick and Morty

Doc and Marty (1:45):
You’re limiting yourselves with all your antics, face it: You’re just. Boxed. In.
Just give it a year and you’ll be forgotten just like. Tiny. Box. Tim.
(Both): Your whole channel was full of whack shit, black and white melts into bad trips
So just go back to being the King of FNaF and sad act Mr. Backflip

Unus & Annus (1:58):
Not even hitting your head again could help you get ahead and come up with a better flow
Spitting verbal manure on the track, but what does your pocket letter show?
Your fate’s been sealed and signed! Face your density, you’ll see you’re past your prime
We’re pronouncing rhymes, committing crimes, and you’re bound to find you're OUTATIME
As we wind down the clock and reflect as this song and dance that won’t be played again
You’re coughing inside a boxed-up coffin that you wanna call a Delorean
It’s too bad we won’t see you tomorrow, so hush now, don’t make a fuss
Farewell you two, Memento Mori, Unus… Annus…

ANNOUNCER
Who won… THIS time?
Who do you wanna see battle next?
Well, you decide!
This has been Stark’s Rap Battles! We’ll see you tomorrow!

Snakebite126 as Unus
Hatena360 as Annus
Alex M. as Doc Brown
Zawesome as Marty McFly

Written by: Michael Stark, Jenni No Mercy, CannibalWorms, GamingPlush64, Mason G, Dilly!, & Danii
Produced by Tristan
Mixed by Michael Stark

Back To The Future vs. Unus Annus - Stark's Rap Battles

LYRICS:

ANNOUNCER
FNAF Versus Anything
Robotic Fizarolli vs. Funtime Freddy

Robotic Fizarolli (0:14):
H-hey there implings! Wait a minute- what’s that my sensors spot?
A-a-ah, an overhyped unliked bear who should’ve been left to rot! (Whoo!)
Shipped straight from Big Ozzie’s factory, this teddy bear wants to battle me?
Oh Freddy-dee, you flatter me! I’ll rip out your Ennards and leave you trampled, see?
You’re quite bad at your job if humor’s what you’re after
You’re a kiddie killin’ captor, I’m the comic bringing laughter
There’s nothing your voice mimic could do to top this wacky rapper
After I grab this rope and have you swinging from the rafters
Don’t need a frontal lobe when your mindless gameplay’s cheap jumpscares for a light scream
I mean Scott keeps on spooning and scooping you clean like it’s some Fazbear’s Fright-Cream
Just face it you’re basic, your 8-bit games have made your hated name G-rated
With your complicated lore and public shame, it’s no wonder your fame has faded
You used to be a Hot Topic, but then Scott got swooned by corporate evil
He sold out to Funko and MacFarlane for cash, but I’ll still POP this weasel (laughter)

Funtime Freddy & Bon-Bon (0:59):
Hey Bon-Bon, it’s the birthday boy! Why don’t you play nice and say hi to our friend?
Freddy, this clown belongs with Baby but he’ll be back there before the hour ends (Chuckles)
It’s a Funtime when I hop on the mic, unlike you and your gang of Hazbin stars
Cuz when I rap in a fight, I’m packin’ the bite, you’ll see Freddy has Fazbars!
I mean how self-encoding can his programming be? He’s not even the real Fizzarolli!
He’s just ripping off the ripoff of me, this Dollar General Jevil thinks he’s earned bein’ cocky?
This toxic animatronic needs fixin’, maybe then you could try it, Sparky
Though from what we’ve seen from your posters and marketing… you’re used to “private parties”!

Robotic Fizarolli (1:30):
Ooh, somebody’s salty! Chuck E. Cheesier doesn't know the first thing about rapping
I’ve been more entertained by Blitzo’s jokes, and even then I wasn’t laughing

Funtime Freddy (1:37):
What a party pooper! Fizz is hardly super, especially when in his rapping stupor
Why don’t you Fizza-rolli pollie away like the kids when they hear your humor? (Ha!)

Robotic Fizarolli (1:44):
It took a VR title just to regain your relevance? Seems like innovation’s where your Help’s Wanted
You’re callin’ me toxic? Look at your fanbase residence, no wonder your creator’s haunted 

Funtime Freddy (1:52):
Nobody loves you anymore, after your death everything’s been going swell
Better call it “oo oo and” ‘cuz you’re taking all the L’s! (Maniacal laughter)

Robotic Fizarolli (2:00):
Sure, everyone used to adore your series, a lonely startup acting teary
But now everyone’s descending Into Madness with all your dreary theory queries
Now your timeline’s gone bye bye, it’s time to end this indie tragedy! 
There’s nothing left to salvage, take a bow! It’s the end of Five Rhymes at Freddy’s!

Funtime Freddy & Bon-Bon (2:14):
Your mutated friends can’t step to the Freddy Crew (Ooh!)
A back alley scrap pile is where you’re headed to (True!)
Tried to make a difference, but your chances blew (Yeah?)
I’d prefer Trash and The Gang to any of you! (Ohhhhh!) (Airhorn plays)
Your lines were so full of cheese that I’d almost wanna eat ya
But if I’m Chuck E. Cheese, that makes you ShowBiz Pizza! (Maniacal Laughter)
It’s shocking, isn’t it? Seems you’re not law-suited to handle losses, without a doubt
I mean, it’s pretty obvious when your Sister’s Location gets more clout
It’s time to shut down this run-down clown, I’m done with his fun and his games
My fire lines have made this the second time that you’ve gone up in flames! (Ha ha!)

Michael Stark as Robotic Fizarolli

Snakebite126 as Funtime Freddy
Azia as Bon-Bon

Written by: Michael Stark
Produced by Beatg33ks
Mixed by Michael Stark

Robotic Fizzarolli vs. Funtime Freddy - FNAF Vs Anything

-LYRICS-

ANNOUNCER
Welcome, weary traveler, to Cyphers of the Unknown
Today's matchup is: Zalgo
Against
Cthulhu
Commence!

Zalgo  (0:31):
Your cult rooms will be filled with gore as HE COMES to leave his mark
On this hentai monster who’s become nothing but joke fuel for South Park
Looking Sad, Satan? I've been waiting a century for you to spit a good rap
What kind of Dark Lord gets squashed by a sword that shoots out kitty cats?!
Read the text Squidward, my plague starts to spread ‘cross the land
To wipe out this gimmick with relevance more dead than the star that’s in my hand
Please! My candle’s light outshines all that you can spit in this
Kelly’s carnage incarnate’s bars leave squids sleeping with the fishes
You’re no Necronom-icon, forgotten when ‘zilla hit the stage
Telling me you got into politics? I’d still rather vote for Kanye!
Best go back to startling gamers, for ZALGO is seven times the rapper
This little munchkin’s been tarnished and now we can start the next chapter

Cthulhu (1:17):
Zalgo claims to be a god, but he’s barely short of the Funnies
And even when this comic’s stripped down, he’s just a comfort cryptid for some sentient monkeys
So fear the Call of Cthulhu, a true Lovecraftian creation
You’re an outdated fad meme, rejected by the SCP Foundation
This Deviant’s Art is tasteless! Creepypasta crap, ever so bland
The corniest of TV Tropes can’t even flee from his own cartoon land
And the mic clips? Messy text? That’s your method of inflicting pain?
Being eyeless won’t help, just hearing my bars will make you go insane!
Your lyrics? Unspeakable, while in my stories I’m the pinnacle, invincible
The hivemind hides rhymes behind whines, you’ll find his lines are miserable
Archie’s comical to think anyone’s fooled by his flippant trickery
Just check Behind The Wall and see it’s me who’s taking the victory
Seven goddamn mouths, you’d think at least one would try to win
Quite un-4chan-ate, but I’ll still be leaving this flightless Bird- Boxed- in
I’M THE EMBODIMENT OF CHAOS, BUT IF HE’S INSISTENT ON PERSISTENCE
I’LL CONTROL HIM, ALTERNATE HIS LIFE, AND DELETE HIM FROM EXISTENCE

Zalgo (2:17):
That’s enough from the kraken, thought I told you to shut it
This is boring me, let's see how you fare with one of my puppets…

Zalgo as Garfield (2:25):
(Yawn) What’s this? It looks like Jon tried making calamari
But I’ll boot ‘em off the track like Odie, and this time, I’m not sorry

Zalgo (2:32):
Z͜͡͡AL͟͡G҉́Ò '͢͞S͟ ̀͡A͝͡R͠R̷̛IV̢̛E҉͞D̡ ͞A̸̶Ń̢D̴̵ ̀I̡T͏͠' ͠҉͡S̶ ͏U̷N̸͏̢W̷̴̡IS͜É ̀T̷̷͞O̧ ̧̀T͟͏͝H͝͏I͞N҉K͟҉ ͟͞T͘͞HA̛T͜͟ Ý̢OU҉̶ ̵̡̛C̷̨͝AN̡͢ ҉̡̕D͘͞E̶FE҉A̧͜T HI͡M͡
C̷͠͏A̢͜ŲS̡͘È H̀͢E͟ '͜҉̨ĹL̵͘ ̀C̵OR̛̕R̵͘Ù́̀P̷T҉ ̡YǪ͠U̶͘R̴̨͢ ̛́M̷ED͏̷̀I҉̡A͞,̸ ̶̧LE͏A̸͞V̛I̛͞͠N̸Ģ̧̡ ͝Y̶O͠͝U͘R ̢̨͞P͠A̸̡T͢H͝E̡T̨Ì͜C̶̵ ͠B̷ǪOK҉̕S͜͝ ̵͡T̵O̵̢R̀N̡ ̵T̕O ͢͝PI̴E̴͏C̀E̕S̡
Such a Weird Tale that you’ve woven, claiming to be superior to me
It’s Something Awful really, but now I’ve finally put an end to your series

Cthulhu (2:47):
Really? A puppet show to fight me in this battle? Honestly, it’s your Loss
But Dream No More, heathen, this is the only time our paths will cross
Your lines just put me back asleep, facing a god’s not something you should risk
They said “Zalgo’s coming”, but even after this I’m still waiting for a good diss…
(Malevolently Chuckles)

ANNOUNCER
Who conquered the mic?
Who Should Cypher Next?
Comment Down Below
And prepare yourselves for the next
Cyphers of The Unknown

Vladimyr P
Michael Stark
Matthew Thomas
MetalFireVA
Fightmarker
Commander Jacob
M!CAH as Zalgo

Mancha as Cthulhu

Written By: Michael Stark, M!CAH, ColeTheCole & Cri
Produced By: Dansonn
Mixed By: Michael Stark

Zalgo vs. Cthulhu - Cyphers Of The Unknown

LYRICS:

Greentext (0:14)
>be me; a sick motherfuckin battle rapper
>be you; fodder for some shitty Shorts reactors
>speaking of short: two lines aint enough to get the reader hooked
>creepypastas in two sentences? look up: definition -> undercooked

>thought you're leaving brains scarred? but we know you aint hard
>writers want to make dark stories but they stay stark
>everyones the same, farming upvotes just to gain karma
>mfw I won the battle with only 8 bars

Two-Sentence Horror (0:44)
I entered a battle, expecting a good show
But to my surprise, a dead thread is my new foe
Post that on the subreddit, and I'll get the numbers sendin'
Thanks for the gold kind stranger, now this fucker's dead

You’re not important- was dropped to be locked onto 4chan
Claiming your format’s a fortune- now your following’s full of four-chins
My stories are iconic horrids- leaving courage left on the doorstep 
But it seems that that's where this whore's been- ‘cause to me the dead isn't foreign

Greentext (1:13)
>joke’s on you, petulant fool, half what i say isnt even true
>know you’re through, and in this duel, it seems ive already beaten you
>but when i bust out with bars blazing you know you aint ready
> (long pause) hey want some spaghetti

>eyes lay on my text causing thousands to laugh then turn to your page to be thrown in the trash
>be like me, my music gets applause when i rap- i plugged your verse into the aux and nobody clapped
>you dont even need two sentences to know you aint beating me
>i-just-took-the-W-and-you-took-the-L.png

Two-Sentence Horror (1:43)
I bring real scares that is messin' up youths
You can see what just two sentences do
Your records are viewed as the bendin' of truth
Of Anonymous or a confessional booth
And the net that you've suited's offensive, the users
All fester in groups to be edgy and rude
The Reddit is brewing up actual horror
That Netflix is tuning in, getting a scoop

Your shit is too fantastical for anyone to even care
Your source is always like “bro it happened, please I swear!” (I made it the fuck up)
You really thought you could send me back to the graveyard
With only 8 bars? Please, it's more like you ate the bars

Michael Stark as Greentext Stories

Cri as r/TwoSentenceHorror


Written By: Michael Stark, Cri, 3ple, & GamingPlush64
Produced by: 2Deep
Mixed by: Michael Stark

Greentext Stories vs. Two-Sentence Horror - Meme Melee: Reposted

LYRICS:

ANNOUNCER
It’s Live Rap Battles!
Waluigi vs. Benito Mussolini!
Lights, camera, action!

Benito Mussolini (0:20)
Cool mustache- Wait, who’s this menace in my presence?
No matter, I know just an L can make this mess jealous
Prime Minister in his Prime, talk shit, get smacked up
Cause now I’m ending your reign, call it Wa-Luigi Facta
The only sauce you got belongs atop linguini
While I’m the conqueror with gold bars - Mansa Mussolini
Prepare to be overruled, you’ve never seen a flow doper, dude
I pack a bigger bite than the plant that they chose over you

Waluigi (0:40)
Waluigi’s gonna win, stomping all your army men!
Bringing your demise, like it’s a Mario Party-san 
Don’t dance around the facts-a man, your Facism ain’t happenin’
Ya can’t bribe me to stop these words; I ain’t the Vatican
I’m hung like a horse, you were hung like a bitch
Like my hat, took an L and then your body got flipped
You’ll forever just be known as history’s biggest cuck
Watching and waiting as a bunch of dudes filled your mistress up! (Wah!)

Benito Mussolini (1:01) 
I couldn’t cause as much harm as that voice just did 
That verse was akin to assasination- I avoided it
I crush foes with ease, your crush would rather stay away
Love triangle? (Ha!) You’re on the tail-end of her Daisy-chain

Waluigi (1:12)
And you’re a flip-flopping brute that Italy gave the boot
A tacky treaty-signing toot - Jeff Bezos without the loot!
You’re balding, I’m balling when striking against a fascist
Enough chit chat, it’s time my pal attacks to tax this axis!

Wario (1:22)
YOU FORGOT THE WAH, AND YOU KNOW IT’S A MISTAKE
I EAT TYRANTS FOR BREAKFAST LIKE THEY’RE TOPPED WITH GARLIC PASTE
Wario’s got the Smooth Moves, in another war that you’ll lose
Those verses packed with poo poo, just prove you’re crazy, cuckoo!

Benito Mussolini (1:32)
You can’t halt my drive, so just eat my dust
This stinky capitalist packs that Elon Musk 
But with your fatass, that’s one his rocket couldn’t even carry
I got drip like the Blackshirts, but what’s Wario wearing?

MUSSOLINI
If you get to bring in a friend, then I do too!

WALUIGI & WARIO
NO, PLEASE! WALUIGI NO LIKEY!
THAT’S A BIG NO NO FOR WARIO!

MUSSOLINI
...Fine, I’ll do it myself. 
Ahem...

Benito Mussolini (1:53)
You try time and time again, but still get wiped from every scene
Parties, sports, and cars? You’re the whitest dude I’ve ever seen!
While I’ve both balls and a Pact of Steel
Your claim to fame is a racetrack- cuz you’re the fourth wheel
That racket from your fans’ the only love you’ll ever get
It’s your own fault you’re getting served so hard on the net
My March on Rome brought me from socialist to leadership unrivaled 
Your fans couldn’t get your ass into a main title
Benito Amilcare Andrea Mussolini
He’s the winner of this battle and the savior of Italy! 

Waluigi & Wario (2:19) 
You think you’re all that with those wack raps and golden trim?
Can’t be scarier than when his people got ahold of him!
You’re just a player two; A second fiddle to Hitler!
They called you Deuce ‘cause you flushed your whole country down the shitter 
We can take you, your Blackshirts, and all your racist friends- (wahahaha!)
And serve them all like my namesake’s Mercedes Benz
You shat the bed in Greece and still brag about your might now?
Usually your troops aren’t supposed to get wiped out 
While you went down in infamy, ran Italy so shittily
Wario and Waluigi took the dub like Sicily!

AdamSandlerDRB as Benito Mussolini

Zawesome as Waluigi
Fightmarker as Wario

JosaiahGAmesTV as The Announcer

Written By: Michael Stark, SimplyRazzy, Commander Jacob, Snakebite126, Zawesome, Fightmarker, & 3ple
Beat Produced by: Allrounda Beats
Mixed by: Michael Stark

Waluigi vs. Benito Mussolini - Live Rap Battles

LYRICS:

ANNOUNCER
Let's give it up for Stark’s Rap Battles!
Dream vs. W.D. Gaster!
Begin!

W.D. Gaster (0:15):
Lost souls are never seen again trying to step to me
'Cause I make foes go missing, call you MC #17
I’ll leave you begging and pleading, but this isn’t someone that I’d spare
Quite ironic your name is Dream, when all you’re giving people are nightmares
The W.D. Gangster ‘boutta break apart your entire script
This MVP’ll 404 your SMP of Super Minecraft Pricks
My followers stay loyal, bending to my every beck and call
Your followers go and dox you, guessing you don’t want that addressed it all (evil laugh)
I’ll turn a hyped up mob spawner to a Hyper Goner
I’d rather watch idiots try to land some backwards long jumps
Dropping the hard R around your fanbase of minors
Yet your skin couldn’t be Light Lighter Yet Lighter

Dream & George (0:55):
Hey George! (Yeah?) Who’s this? I’m not subscribed to this white guy!
Guessing Einstein’s in shambles ‘cause he got split across his timeline
Screw the Manhunt, I’m turning the tables, you’re going toe to toe with the MC pro
You’ll get dropped again ‘cause I tower above you with my water bucket flows, oh!

(Doubletime)
Dream’s come to reap, but your fans did that for me
Poked and prodded till they took apart your whole story
You’re weak with each scheme, when each time I stole glory
Leaving you split more than your laboratory
Getting clicks while you’re ignored by the masses
Spitting sick, that’s what the point of the mask is
Shattered and scattered, I’mma fire blast ya
And leave you to tears: W.D. Ghast-er

(Normal time)
You offended, SJW-D? Oh, I can tell
So just sign off, language police, and take this AS-L

W.D. Gaster (1:29):
You left me counting sheep although you think you’re spitting mean
But Dream, it’s only rude to talk about people that are listening
This scientist, you can’t deny, ‘cause the numbers I’ve seen don’t lie
Let's face it, to face me you’d have to be a dirty cheater, right?

Dream (1:42):
If you wanna talk trends, I've been ballin' every month
'Cause you're always in the back, while I'm always in the front, oh!
Twenty speedruns of your game, (yeah?) Gaster’s still NotFound (Ooh!)
I mean I couldn’t get any FUN value out of your entire Underground
C’mon now W. D., for me, it’s nothing to leave a creep murdered
‘Cause when I’m speedrunning the beat, I bring double the beef like a Dream Burger
Whine all you want man, the darkness can’t cut deeper than my axes can
Keep talking shit and they’ll have to call you the man who catches hands

W.D. Gaster (2:09):
Testing the royal scientist was the least of your big brain plays
Can’t tell what’s faker; your persona or your pig trade gains
For years I studied the effects that human souls could deliver 
All you can do is make the net RESET their timelines... on Twitter!
With how far you’ve fallen, no boats or horses could save your skin
Goodbye Dream, your journey’s met an end here that you can’t pay-to-win (evil laugh once more)

Dream (2:30):
Sorry you feel that way, but you're getting dunked on, dawg!
I’ll leave you ditching this battle - call it your Jon Swan song
The bar-dropping lava-hopping River Man just sank your boat
I’ll keep my victory screech, ‘cause this white man just got ratio’d! (Ooh!) 

ANNOUNCER
Who got lucked out and won the battle?
Who do you wanna see battle next?
Well, you decide! 
This has been Stark’s Rap Battles, we’ll see ya next time!

Production:
Commander Jacob as W. D. Gaster

Eric The Audible as Dream
littleflecks as GeorgeNotFound (Cameo)


Written by: Michael Stark, Snakebite126, GamingPlush64, 01Tyler10, Commander Jacob, MasonG, Meta
Produced by Ihaksi
Mixed by Serena

Dream vs. W.D. Gaster - Stark's Rap Battles

Thumbnail: Michael (Stark Media)
Meme Melee Logo: Nel
Beat: Tristian
Pepe and Dat Boi: Michael (Stark Media)
Written By: Michael (Stark Media)

LYRICS:
Dat Boi (0:13 - 0:40):
Here Come Dat Boi rollin up, Oh shit what up!
When it comes to best memes, there ain’t no better lineup
I’ll run you over like a motorcycle, I’m Fast and Furious on a unicycle
Another meme about a frog? You just reduce reuse recycle
I have dedicated Facebook pages, while you get confused with the masked Grinch
Too bad you like your Boys Club so much, I will destroy it in a cinch
You’re just a racist tasteless meme, with a kind of adult theme
After your trashy lines and rhymes, we’ll finally see who reigns Supreme

Pepe (0:40 - 1:07):
Destroying a sloppy impersonator? Oh That Feels Good Man!
I’m in the Elite Meme Club, while you’re just stuck as the doorman
Dat Boi has Facebook? Try Myspace you Kermit wannabe
You say my themes are adult? They seem alt-right to me
You’ll face my Furie if you try to step to this king, no one even remembers your reign
I have an entire cult worshipping, Kek will rise to power again
You claim to be my inspiration, but your normie depiction’s just not becoming
Woah Dat Boi wiped off the face of the Earth? I did Nazi that coming

Pepe Vs Dat Boi | Meme Melee #1

Thumbnail: Michael (Stark Media)
Meme Melee Logo: Nel
Beat: 2Deep
Big Chungus and Ugandan Knuckles: Michael (Stark Media)
Written By: Michael (Stark Media)

LYRICS:
Big Chungus (0:19 - 0:39):
Bounding into this battle, this bunny’s bound to destroy these racists
When it comes to recent memes, you can consider me A-list
Using clicking and spitting to communicate with your “brothers”?
You better hop off the mic before you get beat by your mothers
You, your clan and your queen are like Elmer, a horrid eye strain
They had to mix the us both to make you relevant again!
You’re trash, so I’ll show you to the can. Do u kno da wae?
I hope you liked your restful retreat, now head back to Zimbabwe

Ugandan Knuckles (0:39 - 0:59):
We come from Uganda not Zimbabwe you imperfection!
You rap like you have ebola, your body is the sign of your infection
We spit our raps like how we spit on the non-believers
You just get slapped on everything by normie underachievers
Your chunky rolls are nothing compared to our Ugandan power 
Neither you nor the penguins will win, so just run and cower
Our army will make you shuddah, you bettah run for covah
Because we’ve won this dead meme war, long live dah bruddas!

Big Chungus Vs Ugandan Knuckles | Meme Melee #2

Thumbnail: Michael (Stark Media)
Meme Melee Logo: Nel
Beat: Marsad Men
Moth Lamp and Loops Cat: Michael (Stark Media)
Written By: Michael (Stark Media)and Nel

LYRICS:
Moth Lamp (0:09 - 0:47):
Unlike the lamps that attract me, you're not very bright!
I need an epic voice, I shoulda been voiced by Light
Stick your loops on your wheelchair and make Pyro laugh some more
Did you buy your cereal at the Dead Memes R Us store?
I’m the new and improved, you're the failed furry abortion of Sprite Cranberry!
You need to lay off the cereal, cuz you seem a little loopy!
As they say around these parts, Loop Cat Prime, Loop Cat Prime!
You better not flip my switch, it’s my time to shine!

Loops Cat (0:47 - 1:24):
If we compare strength to lamps, you’re barely a night light
The only relevance you gained was from your skin in Fortnite
Insects becoming memes? Well I guess I missed the meme-o
You’ll be like the loops in my bowl, overrun with my milky flow
Between Edison and stealing meme formulas, I’ll show you Wat’s Wat
I won’t need to distract you with my glowing rhymes you lamp nut
I hope you liked my raps, cuz I just served you a spoonful
Cuz you almost got primed by a beaver, oh how de-lightful

Moth Lamp Vs Loops Cat | Meme Melee #3

The Dream Demon and the Sinister Skeleton go head to head in a rap battle that may seem overdone, but this has never been seen before.

-CAST-
Michael as Bill Cipher 
Michael as Sans

-PRODUCTION-
For Trakked's Rap Battle Contest
Beat: Tristian
Mixed by Jordy
Thumbnail by Michael

-LYRICS-
Bill Cipher
It’s good to be back after a three year hiatus!
Now let’s see who’s stepping up to challenge me and my godlike status
A skeleton with a pun complexion? This should be a snap!
Cuz I don’t need a physical form to best this bonehead in rap
You’re just a copy of me from the one eye to the blue flame
And with your raps doing minimal damage, I’m sure we won’t meet again
I’m sorry, it’s funny how dumb you are, I won’t need to crawl inside your mind to find
That I’m the winner of this battle, I’m the master of the mind!

Sans
Hot dog! This skele-ton of failure trying to FIGHT against a skeleton with standards
If you think that you’re winning this, it’s like your speech: you have it backwards!
With your show’s many watchers, maybe you’ll get your redemption discovered
I’d say I’d keep an eye socket out for ya, but it seems you already have that covered!
Try and rap your Weirdmageddon verse, but I’ll stay determined to the end
It’s a beautiful day outside to be ruined by a dorito about to be condemned
There’s no lamp for you to hide behind, and no phony cronies to blame
Facing me takes a lot of backbone, I’ll chalk it up to being insane


Bill Cipher
Sure I may be insane, punny man, what’s your point?
You’re awfully persistent with your resetting child-like checkpoints
Put ‘er there pal, how about we make a deal?
You stop crying about your brother and I’ll come through with becoming real

Sans
(Snoring) Huh, did you just rap your second verse?
It was almost as boring as a Monster Kidz Word Search
I’d go genocide mode on you, but it seems it won’t be needed
You were forgotten after your dauntin loss, while I remained undefeated

Bill Cipher
Forgotten by my fans? Kid, they want a reboot!
Which is way better than your sad appearance in Undertale 2

Sans
Sad appearance? When gamers saw me it just made my popularity climb
I’d say the same for you but you just had a hell of a bad time

Bill Cipher vs Sans | Trakked's Rap Battle Contest

Two of the biggest educational tools for students face off to determine, once and for all, who is the best between them. Who will take the gold, and who will be left in the dust? You decide!

-CAST-
Swoldow EVGRB as Kahoot
Raichous as Quizlet

-PRODUCTION-
Written by Michael, Swoldow EVGRB, [REDACTED], Fightmarker, Mason G, [REDACT]
Beat produced by Vylet Pony (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCDnYX2jqzQXMST8Yo4NzQZQ), Extended by Michael
Mixed by Jordy

-LYRICS-
Kahoot (0:16 - 0:48):
Question 1: Who will destroy this copy and put them in the ground?
You’re wrong, it’s Kahoot, because I actually have beats to throw down
From education to movie quotes, my selection is unbeatable!
From your “teambuilding” to hard minigames, you’re closer to irredeemable
I make learning and rapping awesome, on the Hot Streak with my lines
And with the sick music pouring from the speakers, I’ll leave you moping on the sidelines
Put a Game Pin in it ya ripoff, it seems you’re not even in the Top Five
To get the first place in this battle, I shoulda beat Quizlet, Live!

Quizlet (0:48 - 1:20):
Alright class, get in teams to teach this outdated class tool a lesson
And remember, do your worst to keep up the tension. Did I mention?
You can’t Match my skill, you must not grasp the Gravity of this situation
Guess I need to pick up the pace to Spell out your expiration
FAST RAP
Now listen up Kahoot, I’m gonna teach you how to rap
In this scrap, I’m the champ, and I’m here to close the gap
You’re mindless and lifeless, with all your lousy gameplay
Your app unknown, so students surf the web to play
I’m the one teachers go to lessons, laughs, and learning
While you sit there in cyberspaceby yourself, yearning
To be loved, but like those in the back of the pack
You’re bitter that I’ve passed ya, I’ve conquered in this rap! 

Kahoot (1:20 - 1:52):
Were you tooooooo fast, Quizlet? Don't try jumping to conclusions
Since when all teachers were choosing me, a team battle was your solution
Kahoot wins! It seems you didn’t Learn, and ended up getting destroyed
Since all you did was fall, crash, and burn like any other Asteroid
I got verbal Classroom Superpowers, you're a Class-ic Super-bore
Since cramming for tests using your flash cards is all that children need you for
I bring fun to every subject, while your success still remains unknown, it
Seems like I’m taking the bronze, silver, and gold cuz you weren’t a true opponent

Quizlet (1:52 - 2:24):
“Not a true opponent”? Do you mean me, or the kids that use you?
You're just a nuisance to the teachers when dealing with the kids that always abuse you
You’re irrelevant from the raunchy nicknames to shouting the wrong choice
How bout I put the cursor on your name and kick you out. You annoyed?
Everyone prefers me to you, with those ratings, there’s nothing to compare!
It’s evident that you’re uptight and jealous, it’s no wonder you’re such a green square!
How would I rate this Kahoot’s rap? No stars, thumbs down, and a frowny face
Whoops! It seems you’ve crashed again, leaving Quizlet here in first place

Kahoot Vs Quizlet | Stark Media Rap Battles

In this updated version of Bowser Jr. and Bowser Vs Lancer and King Spade you'll find some updated vocals, writing, and casting. Thanks for listening, enjoy!

-CAST-
Swoldow EVGRB as Bowser Junior
GamingPlush64 as Lancer
Raichous as Bowser
Light as King Spade

-WRITERS-
Michael
Mason

-Additional Chiseling-
Fightmarker
Raichous
Gamingplush64

-PRODUCTION-
Beat: https://drive.google.com/file/d/13qgew52JuSxVo636RVj08Fjn4xmN0gQg/view?usp=sharing 
Beat By Copyright Free Music and Toby Fox
Mixing by Light

-LYRICS-
Bowser Junior (0:44):
I’m gonna hop in my Airship and blast these Spades to pieces
Cuz even my Bullet Bills travel faster than your releases
All my cannons and minions are gonna scare you like King Boo
Your dad had to command his in order for them to like you
We’re gonna delta-ruin you, you can say we’re spittin’ fire
You behave not like a king’s son, but as a Jevil for hire!
Biting your face off like Susie, better get your bucket ready
And don’t rely on your father, with a bond that unsteady
Your maturity at this rate won’t make you “son of the year”
I'll fold this deck of cards so that they never interfere
Why don’t you work on evil speeches, if you think you’re so Clover
In conclusion, you’re just a loner, leftover, seceding crossover

Lancer (1:19):
You clowns’ll get thrashed when I take my bike and bulldoze
You’ll be Koopa-Trippin when you stumble over your Dry Flows
Nintendo's ace in the hole, only dug out with a spade
To rehash his bratty role in Smash and games nobody played
Same plot, same hero, same villain, same stencil
Acting like a Spooky Sword, but raps Halloween Pencils
Now I can’t say tier two curses, but I swear we’ll be your doom
I can’t take you seriously because you’re small as a shroom
Don’t you ever give up? You’re in my Shadow, that’s no question
And it’s fitting you’re a junior, cuz in this battle you’ll be second
So here, read the signs, it’s about time you found your answer
“Ho ho ho! Well if you’re reading this you’re dead!”, signed, Lancer

Bowser (1:52):
Alright Slugger, time for me to leave this figment out of luck
“LoOk At Me! Im InDiE!” just means you’re a Delta-level schmuck
You little brat, shut your trap before I slam you to the ground
And as for papa, well, he plays second fiddle to King Round! 
We reuse elements? (Ha!) You have your son’s laugh but deeper! 
Knock down your house of cards, as the conflict gets steeper
You need the Eastern Fountain to keep rule over your land?
I order the kidnappings of royalty with the wave of my hand
Check my castle, you ain’t got Jack, I’ve got way more traps than you could stab at
You Kris-crossed the gaming scene, now Toby's mad at Matpat
You wanna be a better rapper? Why don't you give the truth a whirl? 
You will always be inferior, no one can choose who they are in this world. 

King Spade (2:25):
It’s the Bad Guy’s verse, I’ll show you some real villainy 
Dis-Kaard your bad raps, would you really hurt my mini-me?
Double Dash out this battle, that’s all you can seem to do
I’m a true Darkner, (Yeah!) my subjects more useful than your crew
When it comes to the best villains, you’re no diamond in the rough
You’re too soft and emotionally vulnerable, HeartsDonut? 
Do us all a favor, jump off the edge and press Down B
All anyone needs to know is that chopping down your bridge is the key
I feel for you and your adopted kids King Bowser, really I do
But unfortunately my loyalty resides sorely with the Knight's crew 
I thoroughly enjoyed crushing you turtle scum in this battle
Now kneel before your King and become my personal chattel!

Bowser Jr. Bowser Vs Lancer and King Spade | SMRB UPDATED

It might be a tad late for Halloween, but there's always time for a spooky meme! Thanks for tuning in to another Meme Melee, featuring Doot Doot against Spooky Scary Skeletons. Two spooky memes goin' at it, but who will come out a-head in this battle? Only one way to find out!

-CAST-
Alex as Doot Doot
Raichous as Spooky Scary Skeletons

-PRODUCTION-
Thumbnail by: Michael / Stark Media
Written by: Michael / Stark Media, Fightmarker, Mason
Mixed by: Vladimyr P.

Doot Doot (0:14 - 0:42):
Doot Doot, comin’ through! It’s the best halloween meme that kick starts this holiday
“Internet’s Spookiest Meme” doesn’t get much better than that, wouldn’t you say?
Comin’ from the abyss it’s Skull Trumpet, answering the call of duty
Linin’ up these lyrical headshots like it was Call of Dooty
This outdated fad meme sure ain’t Shooting Stars
I spit Gold that even Andrew would be jealous of my bars
There’s no way you get my Seal of Approval, for doesn’t take much to dissect
You’re in LeWrongGeneration who’s forever staying an outdated Disney reject

Spooky Scary Skeletons (0:42 - 1:11):
Spooky scary skeletons, sending disses with these lines
Shrieking notes from subpar trumpeting, will make your ears bleed tonight (Yikes!)
We promise this frightening flow will send shivers crawling up your back
The spirit of 1929 has come to haunt you on this track! (Boo!)
Rising from the grave to teach wannabe-Louie a lesson, like
I mean seriously, you got famous for a noise made on a bike?
You couldn’t frighten a child because it’s clear you lack the backbone
Sending you back to hell while I’ll go back to Living in my Tombstone

Dwight With a Pumpkin on His Head (1:11 - 1:40):
False! I’m sorry Mr. Skeletons, I don’t want to socialize
But I’ll take great pleasure in watching the light die from your eyes
Serving these lines and rhymes like they were pumpkin pie with a crunch and
I’ll be leaving your verses more hollow than three hole punches
“Internet’s spookiest meme”? Identity theft is not a joke, see?
If it is, please report to HR, cuz frankly you’re not even on par compared to me
Dance for me skeletons! Your superior demands it of you!
Like waiting for my pumpkin your shoddy rotting lines should come to pass too

Skeleton with a Gun (1:40 - 2:09):
BANG BANG! Looks like there’s been some shots fired!
I got a bone to pick with all of you, these dead memes need to be retired
Poppin’ some calcium caps into your skulls and rattle you to your core
Gettin’ on my nerves more than Jon, but there’s no telling what I have in store!
Tibia honest, your attempts to do any harm are straight up humerus
Against my sans-ational rapping, I can feel it in my bones your loss is numerous
It usually takes a lot, but you numbskulls have gotten under my skin
So just be careful next time you check your closet, I’ll be waitin’...


Goosebumps (2:22):
Coming in to end this battle, any rappers beware
If you were expecting anything less than a true scare
A couple seconds on Jontron, that’s what all of you deserve
I’m a Fox Kids classic, best buzz off or get served
Your horror-ible raps are terrifying, going unparalleled
Stine’s on my side while Dwight’s on the level of Seinfeld
The undeniable king of Halloween, the scariest around
These undead memes should’ve stayed buried in the ground

Dani Frias as Dwight with a Pumpkin on His Head
Fightmarker as Skeleton with a Gun
Raichous as Goosebumps

Doot Doot vs Spooky Scary Skeletons | Meme Melee Halloween Special

I make rap battles mostly

Original stuff on the way

Michael Stark

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