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Beat: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YffGs06X4s 

Lyrics:
You didn’t just hurt my feelings
You took my heart out and buried it 10 feet deep
You made it hard to keep on breathing
And when I asked for an apology 
You said I’m sorry for how you feel
And you still try to appeal as the good guy
People still ask me how you’re doing
And all I can do is give a blank stare
It’s unfair everyone thinks you could never mess up
But this time I’m calling enough is enough 

I still see you during the week
And after I see you I feel weak 
Cause you just take and your giving is superficial
Our little talks will never be beneficial 
They say it always takes two, but this time it was just you

You didn’t just make a scratch on the building
You caused collateral damage
And you told a 13 year old to manage it
All this baggage that I still carry 
Is the result of your collateral damage

But I
Still second guess my choice
Cause I hear your voice in my head telling me I’ll face the consequences 
Do you really know what you do
And you still expect me to love you
This is a vicious cycle of pain 

But that doesn’t matter to you
It never mattered to you
Cause you have something to gain from my pain
How dare you tell me to move on when i’ve been right all along
I know who you are and you can’t hide
Your lies are up and your time is up and this is our final goodbye

You didn’t just make a scratch on the building
You caused collateral damage
And you told a 13 year old to manage it
To this day you haven’t changed
Not for a minute and not for a second
All this baggage that I still carry 
Is the result of your collateral damage

Collateral Damage (Prod. Mila Moon)

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Beat: https://youtu.be/Zl3Smx-dkns 

Lyrics:
Of course I know what you mean
I don’t have to wait and see
You shared all your secrets with me
But then I left cause I didn’t believe 
You said what you meant 
And you didn’t 
You did what you said you believed to be forbidden
And I know you’ll never feel what I felt

I just wonder if it meant anything to you
If you still remember that I know the truth

What are the odds we’re on the same path
What are the odds I still care about what you’re doing
I wish I could unfollow you
I wish I could switch off my brain
Cause you drive me insane
I don’t wanna chase after you
But it’s hard when you’re following what I wanna do 
Of course I knew because I still know you 

I don’t miss our friendship
I’m cold hearted 
It’s not my fault you started to change
And I never got to arrange
Time for myself
The way you do for yourself 
Of course it’s gonna be easy for you
Cause it’s all made for you 
You did what you said you believed to be forbidden
And I know you’ll never feel what I felt 

I just wonder if it meant anything to you
If you still remember that I know the truth

What are the odds we’re on the same path
What are the odds I still care about what you’re doing
I don’t wanna chase after you
But it’s hard when you’re following what I wanna do 
The cryptic messages
Still make sense
The apocalyptic tone in your voice
Still sounds like a message to me
Of course I still know you

I Still Know You (Prod. Jacob Vallen)

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also let's ignore the little wind sounds that randomly appear my bad 😍
Lyrics:
Day off of people pleasing
Listen to my heart for once
When I say a day 
I mean an hour
Cause all I feel is a sour taste on my tongue
Tells me I did something wrong
You should’ve gone along being perfect
Don’t let them see your scars
But what if they turn into beautiful stars

I put my soul
Into everything I do
But what’s the point 
I could never impress you
I live for you 
I make things right
I stay quiet to avoid a fight
I’m stuck and 
I don’t know what to do
Cause everything wrongs you

No matter what you say
I’ll try anyway
Coming up with solutions
For your problems
Put my pain to the side
Don’t acknowledge the piece of you that’s died
It just hurts too much
So better to feel nothing at all 
Instead of the world coming to a fall

I put my soul
Into everything I do
But what’s the point 
I could never impress you
I live for you 
I make things right
I stay quiet to avoid a fight
I’m stuck and 
I don’t know what to do
Cause everything wrongs you

I know what I’m supposed to do
But I’m stuck in a routine
Keep reliving the same scene
I wanna be right and good for you
But I’m a person too

So I took out my soul
So I could put it in everything I do

But what’s the point 
I could never impress you
But I make things right
I stay quiet to avoid a fight
I’m stuck 
In piece
Broken glass
I can’t live for you 
But what do I do when everything wrongs you

People Pleasing

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You put on a show
For the whole world to see
Your life looks 
Nice through a screen
You seem like a wonderful guy
One who’d never lie
How funny 
Things seem

Cause you’re best at lying
You’re best at tearing hearts apart
But no one would know 
Cause you 
Run your life like a show
Put out the best parts of your life
While your family’s dying inside
It’s funny
They think you’re a wonderful guy
But you’re the guy that didn’t care when my heart died

New event 
New celebrity
Wow he’s so cool
New shoes
New car
He’s got it all together
It’s just a facade cause he
Lost all he had forever
He doesn’t know but things won’t get better
Cause when you lie and don’t apologize
Things goes south 
But everybody loves you
How funny

Cause you’re best at lying
You’re best at tearing hearts apart
But no one would know 
Cause you 
Run your life like a show
Put out the best parts of your life
While your family’s dying inside
It’s funny
They think you’re a wonderful guy
But you’re the guy that didn’t care when my heart died

Struggling with things I shouldn’t be dealing with
Losing out on things I should have the most of
You really lost me 
And I’m not sorry
For putting my broken heart over your fresh start 
But they think you’re so perfect
How funny

Cause you’re best at lying
You’re best at tearing hearts apart
But no one would know 
Cause you 
Run your life like a show
Put out the best parts of your life
While your family’s dying inside
It’s funny
They think you’re a wonderful guy
But you’re the guy that didn’t care when my heart died

Wonderful Guy

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Lyrics:
If the world is really ending
And we’re all dying
Shouldn’t you have a little faith
Be brave enough to
Get out of your own head
You’ll ncver be this alive on the other side
Oh darling
You worry too much
I know you’ve had enough

So for one night
Will you let yourself live again
And for one night
Could you stop worrying about 
Doing the wrong thing
The universe is never ending So really nothing means anything

Oh I know
You’re so done
You have to create every oppurtunity 
For yourself
And you swear
You could be on screen
Maybe magazines  
If only you had someone to believe 
Your passion dies
Cause you feel like
You’re running out of time

So for one night
Will you let yourself live again
And for one night
Could you stop worrying about 
Doing the wrong thing
The universe is never ending So really nothing means anything

It’s all just one long life
One in a trillion Your choice ride
All you see is darkness
You stay up at night
But nothing makes you feel alive

So for one night
Will you let yourself live again
And for one night
Could you stop worrying about 
Doing the wrong thing
The universe is never ending So really nothing means anything

For One Night

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Lyrics:
I saw everything but the end
Now suddenly you want to be my friend
You tell me to forgive and forget
Protecting myself is
Something I’ll never regret
How dare you paint me out to be
A villian 
Like I was never willing to give
A second chance

You were miles away
Now you only show up
After I’m okay
How can you say that’s on me
I’m sorry
But were you even there? Did you see me crying on the floor?
Proving I was strong and fine
13 at the time
I was just a child
I should’ve been worrying about
Clothes or TV Not what the point of life means
Don’t you see? He wrecked me And I owe you nothing

I never said I needed you
Years of abuse  But find an excuse on how it’s okay If you wanna idolize him
Go ahead but I don’t have to participate 
You just hate
And you never cared about me
I was just entertainment
You’re new favorite show
But luckily we knew when to go

You were miles away
Now you only show up
After I’m okay
How can you say that’s on me
I’m sorry
But were you even there? Did you see me crying on the floor?
Proving I was strong and fine
13 at the time
I was just a child
I should’ve been worrying about
Clothes or TV Not what the point of life means
Don’t you see? He wrecked me And I owe you nothing

What was a year 
Felt like a century 
And I’ll never get an “I’m sorry”
The people who were supposed believe
Never did
And I’ll never get an “Oh I understand”
He has the upper hand
Don’t you realize you’re too self absorbed
To even give me a chance

You were miles away
I was just a child 
He wrecked me 
And I owe you nothing

I Owe You Nothing

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best sound with headphones :)
sorry for the little break I took! I am back now!

Lyrics:
You don’t get to miss me 
After what you put me through
All the blood and scars
Some I still haven’t outgrew
Your imaturity’s gonna
Last a century
Affecting me in every way  Relationships to day to day

So next time you have a sorry excuse
Just leave it
We’ll never be even
I’m can’t love you
Cause it’ll only hurt me
What makes you think you deserve me
You only care about your image
And you should know I’m a privilege 

Thought you were invincible 
But I broke you
And if you’re listening
I’ll always blame you
You act like you care
But have you been there
When you didn t care about the
Harderst times of my life
It felt like a cut of the knife 
It’ll never be the right time with you
People change
But narcissists are always the same

So next time you have a sorry excuse
Just leave it
We’ll never be even
I’m can’t love you
Cause it’ll only hurt me
What makes you think you deserve me
You only care about your image
And you should know I’m a privilege 

2 words all it is is I’m sorry
3 words just say you caught me 
You’l never understand
Your lies are what killed you
But you can’t stop
Til you’ve broken my heart
Even more

So next time you have a sorry excuse
Just leave it
We can never be even
I’ll never love you
Cause you only hurt me
You don’t deserve me
You only care about your image
And I’m a privilege

I'm A Privilege

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Lyrics:
What’s wrong
Did the high end I
Can’t keep pretending anymore 
How many more days
Will you spend
Writing on the floor
Thinking you deserve something more

Farewell to the life
I never had
Goodbye to the dreams 
It’s not sad
I’m happy
That everything’s fallen apart in my life
It makes an easier goodbye

7 billion people
Yet you think you’re the one
Just because it’s fun
To fantasize
Doesn’t mean it’s mine
2 months left in the year 
It’s gonna appear I’ve accomplish nothing 
She’s gonna kill me
If she sees another year
Of empty promises
It’s always me

Farewell to the life
I never had
Goodbye to the dreams 
It’s not sad
I’m happy
That everything’s fallen apart in my life
It makes an easier goodbye

Maybe that’s who I’m meant to be
A girl with dead dreams and fantasies
Maybe I’m supposed to be the one comedy
Somebody who they can laugh about behind my back
I rack my brain 
Something that’ll hint at my
Insane belief
All I am 
Is sorry

Farewell to the life
I never had
Goodbye to the dreams 
It’s not sad
I’m happy
That everything’s fallen apart in my life
It makes an easier goodbye

An Easier Goodbye

only had one take to record this lol
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Lyrics:
Hide the tears on your sweater
It’s a tough day don’t worry it’ll get better
Is what you’d say
Exactly why I don’t tell you the way I feel
There’s an inner battle it’s always me against me
I can’t heal 
And I’m afraid I’m alone this time

It hits me even harder
Cause there’s no one to blame but myself
I lie and say I’m fine 
But I did too much this time
It feels like my body’s
Shutting down on me
And I’m afraid of who I might be
But it won’t help if I talk to someone else
Cause it’s always me against myself

I’m trying so hard
I portion out every hour of my day
Make sure everything fits in some way
Something just feels wrong
Every time I go along 
My heart starts to pound
My eyes well up
Am I cursed with bad luck?

It hits me even harder
Cause there’s no one to blame but myself
I lie and say I’m fine 
But I did too much this time
It feels like my body’s
Shutting down on me
And I’m afraid of who I might be
But it won’t help if I talk to someone else
Cause it’s always me against myself

I wish it was someone else
Slandering my name
Causing me great pain
What am I supposed to do
When it’s my own self 
I have to live with her 
There’s no escape
I can’t face my problems
When I’m the only one who can solve them
I wish it was someone else ruining my days

 It hits me even harder
Cause there’s no one to blame but myself
I lie and say I’m fine 
But I did too much this time
It feels like my body’s
Shutting down on me
And I’m afraid of who I might be
But it won’t help if I talk to someone else
Cause it’s always me against myself

Me Against Myself

i dont even know what this is tbh just tried not to make another sad song!
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Lyrics:
The more I want it
The farther it slips away
I spin the wheel
I wait for answer to appeal to me
Why am I always waiting on somebody
That somebody being me
Why am I so afraid of my dreams

Sometimes I wish I could be you
But I remember what I’d lose
I forgot you’re you and I am me
I don’t go around breaking hearts freely
At the end of the day what do you have
An empty soul and mold growing on our relationship
Go on and live your life 
But one day it’s gonna be mine

You think you have the wheel
You think my stance isn’t sealed
Newsflash you don’t get my heart back
You lie to the town
You life’s perfect
You get to be who you wanna be
But that’s just the outside
When you come home don’t you feel alone
And don’t you wish I’d answer my phone 

Sometimes I wish I could be you
But I remember what I’d lose
I forgot you’re you and I am me
I don’t go around breaking hearts freely
At the end of the day what do you have
An empty soul and mold growing on our relationship
Go on and live your life 
But one day it’s gonna be mine

Yes, one day
It’ll be mine
And I’ll actually deserve
I do things the old way
I don’t live for facades
And I can beat all the odds

Sometimes I wish I could be you
But I remember what I’d lose
I forgot you’re you and I am me
I don’t go around breaking hearts freely
At the end of the day what do you have
An empty soul and mold growing on our relationship
Go on and live your life 
But one day it’s gonna be mine

One Day

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Lyrics:
When people bring up your name
I can’t help but laugh 
And I’m not even half healed
I play it off like a joke
They think I miss you I don’t
But why did you have to hurt me

I’ll put it simply
You’ve understood 
What I mean
And I never should have seen
What you showed me at 13
I could be happy now but
You taught me 
To cling to feelings of pain
So now my brain is a reel 
Of anything that makes me not want to feel

Have I processed our time
I guess not
Cause you cross my mind
How can I miss someone
Who crushed me with their hands
And all of our plans
You never cared at all
You’d make the jump
But it was only me who’d fall

I’ll put it simply
You’ve never understood me
And I never should have seen
What you showed me at 13
I could be happy now but
You taught me 
To cling to feelings of pain
So now my brain is a reel 
Of anything that makes me not want to feel

I talk like I’m healed but
I don’t know where I am
Is it better not to feel at all instead of walls
Suffocating me
And occasionally I wish you would.bother me
Cause if you did I could tell you everything I feel
But your ears were never tuned to my voice
It was your choice to speak a different language

I’ll put it simply
You’ve never understood 
What I mean
And I never should have seen
What you showed me at 13
I could be happy now but
You taught me 
To cling to feelings of pain
So now my brain is a reel 
Of anything that makes me not want to feel

i'll put it simply

2+ songs a month!
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 - Email: maryamsmusic1@gmail.com
- if you stream my music i just wanna say thank you from the bottom of my heart, it truly means a lot <3

MJ <3

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