Since I was little, I used to see girls with their fathers and ask myself, why am I not like them?  It was my dream to have a dad who buys me things, plays with me, jokes with me, scares me sometimes, but still loves me. But my life was never clear. I was happy but sad, I laughed but cried, I was so moody.  A dad who cares — but he’s not here. A mom who cares — but doesn’t understand. I grew up different. Every time I hear the word dad, I cry. I got used to it, but I never accepted it.  I feel like a failure, but also successful. I want to be free, but sometimes I just give up. I get jealous a lot, but sometimes I accept reality. I can’t express my feelings, and maybe I don’t even understand them.  When will this end? Will God help me? But I don’t deserve it.  I’m a star, but there’s no sky. I have wings, but there’s no air. I see far away, but there’s no path. I have stories, but who can I tell them to?

vibes

Artist (performer): Zhou Shen
Related: Honkai Impact 3rd Valkyrie Theme Rubia
Year: 2021
PS: re-amplified

HONKAI IMPACT 3rd - Rubia

Art Deco- Lana Del Rey

Beach Weather - Sex, Drugs, Etc. (sped Up)

softcore - the neighbourhood

The neighbourhood - Reflections  (sped up)

Reflections – The Neighbourhood (speed up)

Saint Avangeline's debut album, Gardener of Eden, tells the story of a young lesbian woman recalling her romantic, yet tragic encounters, doomed-to-fail relationships, and coming to terms with her traumatic sexual assault. Two months after attempting to take her own life, she began to write this album as a means to begin to accept what happened to her, and let it all out, using her pain as a source to create something beautiful, and to eventually heal from. 

Inspired by tracks from Lana Del Rey, Avangeline chose a similar moody, ethereal tracks (all from BeatStars), paired with her own personal gothic style of poetry, to create dreamy music layered with reverb. 

Armed with only Apple earbuds and a laptop, Avangeline learned to mix and master her own vocals and released this album independently in April, 2022.

daddy issues

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