Bug Collector (Haley Heynderickx)

It reminds me of my 5 year old naked self, running around in reckless–happy–juvenile-abandon, in the midday sun with birds flying overhead, the somewhat damp ground beneath my feet and freedom overflowing from just being alive.

Yes; it reminds me of grandma’s hugs and kisses, mum’s love filled cooking, dad placing me on his shoulder… making me feel a giant.

It reminds me of 8 year olds playing hide and go seek, long lost summers, family filled winters, old school stories.

It brings back memories of lost adventures, being caught in the thunderous summer rains, hiking trails, the naive yet unwavering belief that hills were mountains, streams rivers and lakes oceans.

Yes; it reminds me of long spring days and even longer autumn nights. It reminds me of my young hero worshiping moments, when superheroes were real, superman decedent from our fathers and wonder woman our mothers.

Yes; I know this song. It reminds me of innocence and hope, the undying love of food without the knowledge of calories, the soundtrack to my first love, my first break up, my first loss and my first grief.

It was playing in the background the first day of kindergarten when mother left me crying at the gates. I cried myself to sleep. It plays out in Technicolor the emotions felt when she came back to and for me at 3:05 pm. When we realised she would keep coming back.

It’s the backdrop to my first friendship, first betrayal, and first fight. It lives in my silent moments, the teary emotional outbursts, the searing once believed to be never ending pain, vociferous laughter and the unreasonable, uncontrollable, increases in heartbeats.

Oh yes; this is the song that’s lived within me unidentified until this moment. The song that interlaced the peaceful moments lived once on my mother’s back, in mother’s arms after feeding, in mother’s womb while growing, close to mother’s heart as I fell asleep.

It’s the sounds I hear when the wind swipes through the trees, the ocean breaks on the shore, the rain lands on the zinc roofs, when clouds flow over mountains.

It’s in the smiles of the old, laughter of young, the boundless energy of nature, the unstoppable force of love, the immovable truth of conviction.

Yes; I have heard it always, consciously and unconsciously, in my thoughts and in my emotions. I remember this song as it played in lives passed away, in the life at present, in the births of future lives.

It reaches forth and touches the soul, collides with the heart and bids forth dreams.

Oh yes; I know this song. It breathes in a world within a world that’s lost in the world… it is my sisters shoulder when days are dark, my bothers protection when enemies are about. 

It is old school classics, vintage collector’s items in the market of life. It holds no logic. It has no need to be understood. It speaks not to the conscience, reaches deeper than the afterlife. It is of the ether, lost within the energies, amalgamated within the souls.

Music reminds me of you, of us. It reminds me of me.


Bug Collector (Haley Heynderickx)

morgan miller