Chapter: Life Is Short, So Cherish the Happy Moments
Chapter: Remembering the Blessings

09 Life Is Short and Remembering the Blessings by Shaykh Jameel Finch

[13/08/2023] Ten Ill Effects of Being Undutiful to Your Parents – By Uways At-Ṭaweel (حفظه الله) – SalafiPublications Summer Conference 1445 | 2023. Masjid Salafi, Small Heath, Birmingham, UK.

Some points covered by Uways At-Ṭaweel during this lesson:
- Proof for the high status of the parents.
- The linguistic meaning of al-‘Uqūq.
- The meaning of the verse, “Those who break Allāh's Covenant after ratifying it, and sever what Allāh has ordered to be joined, and do mischief on earth, it is they who are the losers.” [Sūrah al-Baqarah 2:27]
- The definition of being undutiful to one’s parents from the statements of al-Qurṭubī, Ibn Ṣalāḥ, Ḥāfiz Ibn Ḥajar al-Asqalānī and Ibn Ḥajar al-Makkī (رحمهم الله). 
- The importance of knowing what is acceptable in one’s culture as it relates to dealing with one’s parents and the parents of one’s spouse.
- Determining the ḥukm (ruling) of an affair based on ‘urf (normal practice/custom of the people), and what should be done if there is differing in ‘urf.
- ‘Abdullāh b. ‘Umar (رضى الله عنهما) on causing one’s parents to cry.
- Ṭawūs b. Kaysān (رحمه الله) on the four categories of people it is from the Sunnah to honour.
- Ibn al-Qayyim (رحمه الله) on the one who leaves his family members to starve or remain unclothed.
- ‘Abdullāh b. ‘Amr (رضى الله عنهما) on the one who truly keeps the ties of kinship.
- Ten ill effects of being undutiful to one’s parents:
- 1. Ingratitude to Allāh.
- 2. The person deserves the curse of Allāh. 
- 3. Punishment/retribution is hastened in the dunyā before the ākhirah.
- 4. It is from the means and causes of entering the fire.
- 5. Allāh answers the du’ā of the father against his son who severed ties with him.
- 6. Barakah is stripped from his life.
- 7. Allāh will not look at him on the Day of Judgement.
- 8. Allāh does not accept from him ṣarf or ‘adl.
- 9. The blessing from his provisions is stripped away. 
- 10. Allāh will cut him off. 
- Maymūn b. Mihrān (رحمه الله) on three things that must be given to a person regardless of if they are righteous or wretched.



Questions:
1. Is there ever a situation where you can mention the favour you did to someone, not to torment them but to remind them to have gratitude?
2. How does a person manage the relationship with his parents who dislike his practicing wife and cause marital conflict due to their disdain for Islām?
3. My father is a criminal and I find it hard to respect him. What advice do you give?

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