GridLine Rap Battles Season 3

New Season, New Vibes, New Battle! Today we have the 46th and current President of the United States, Joe Biden, pitted against old time folklore myth, Sandman! Enjoy!

CAST:
Zawesome as Joe Biden
Commander Jacob as Sandman

LYRICS:
JOE BIDEN:
Why is it that Joe Biden’s the first in his family
That’s forced into battling this fantasy, it’s a tragedy
But actually, I’ve faced bigger travesties in my past
Now Catholic Jack is taking America back, en masse
Ole Ole (Ole Ole), gettin’ intimate real slowly
Creepin’ kids right on their beds, that’s some malarkey, holy moly
I’m running laps (running tracks), around your ass, I’m a machine
And sleepy wants to beat me? In your dreams
But there’s a gleam brighter than my teeth when I talk to’em (talk to’em)
I inspire hope with a speech when I talk to’em (talk to’em)
What I brought to’em, taught to’em, vaccines, baby
All you do is put a crowd to sleep when you talk to’em 

SANDMAN:
Let me keep a close eye on your lines- now wait a minute
I think I’ve heard that verse before, it’s a bit kinning Kinnock innit
Step to the dream emcee, *stretch* I’ll go ham then
Run a track around me? *yawns* Let’s Go Brandon
I ain’t creepy, I’m calmin’, coolin’, soothin’ the juvenescence 
The iridescent candescent rapper spittin’ with efflorescence
Status Quo Joe, throwin’ stones, makin’ claims, but the film shows
With him rubbin’, perusin’, droolin’ over the adolescence
I’ma need ya to kill the hypocrisy, rampant in your democracy
Stop saying what you’re gonna do and fight for what you’re promising
Cu-Cu–Cu–Cu-Cuz you? You’re old news
Your sun is setting like the dude who came before you

JOE BIDEN:
What’s with that sluggish verse, you gotta clap back better
Because comparing you and me, I simply Build Raps Better
And Ole look it just takes a little time to get things moving
I’m tryin’ to bring us all together, get this nation improving
Unlike that immature adult, insecure asshole
Droppin’ 80 mill, got his ass out of the capitol
Droppin’ 2 trill, Scranton’s top office celebrity
Your office topped 300 mill, we dropped it from our memories 

SANDMAN:
Shhh, I think it’s time for you to go to sleep
Wanna be Roosevelt, but you can’t help being a sheep
To Chuck and Nancy, can’t stand on your own cuz you’re weak
Your only droppin’ promises Joe, now your futures looking bleak
But go on about the hope from your out of touch ticket
That’s great Joe, you did it, now do something with it

Beat By: Dansonn
Mixed By: Musiclide
Cover By: Commander Jacob

Joe Biden Vs Sandman | Gridline Rap Battles Season 3

Welcome to the bonus scene! Today after a long wait, we have the frantic inventor from Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, Flint Lockwood, against the enigmatic, recluse candy maker, Willy Wonka! Enjoy!

CAST
Snakebite126 as Flint Lockwood
Zawesome as Willy Wonka

LYRICS
Lockwood:
Um… I’ve never been in a rap battle before. Are there rules?
I just gotta build a verse? Alright, I have the tools
Writing (Ay), rhyming (Ay), flowing (Ay), dissing (Ay)
Lab coat: on! Your style? Missing! (Ay)
You got candy raps, Reese’s Pieces. I drop hot dogs, you’re still the bigger weenie
With those kids up your fudge pipe, It’s not charming; its creepy (Ew)
You’re a boring old man, trapping children is how you get your kicks off
Trying to scare life lessons into people like a Diabetic Jigsaw
I created an island and an ecosystem science has never had before
You emptied out a colony to work in your dollar candy store
Sparking flames, ‘cause Flint’s lit, your darkest days ain’t hit yet
Since my flow brings floods harder than spies into your business

Wonka:
When I see a mic, like my cane, I grip this. Pardon as I limp in to spit this
DJ Loompa, drop the beat. Let’s see just how much young Flint has bitten
I’m so high up on the food chain, it’s like I’m fizzy liftin’
Watch me drop these Wonka Bars, and all of them have a golden ticket
You couldn’t step to me with spray-on-shoes, while this magnate's earning millions
But your disses were bigger embarrassments than the Party-in-the-Box incident
Here’s an urgent news report: I gave your girl one or two calls
Forecast for your bedroom: Cloudy with a Chance of Blue Balls

Lockwood:
Here’s the cheese: I couldn’t be any grater, I’m serving you, call me your waiter
‘Cause for dope rhymes I’m known to cater, I’ll slip you the Bill for being such a Hader
I’ve invented something better than a not-so-great glass elevator
The Flint Lockwood Diatonic Super Mutating Dynamic Flow Replicator
Needed to find a successor before you bit the dust, may I give a suggestion
How about you hop on my dad’s boat if you wanna fish for attention
I’ll leave your head spinning like a tornado of spaghetti
I’d invent a way to limit your words, but your dad did that already

Wonka:
(Slowly ramps up speed)
There’s no earthly way of knowing, why you think you’re good at flowing
Only nowhere’s where you’re going, you’re sinking when the boat is rowing 
Ducked out for your idol, left your friends feeling betrayed
But realistically, who looks up to a guy named Chester, anyway?
25 years of failure, you think one success made you clever, kid?
But no, it’s fine that your machine worked harder than you ever did
How could your town ever succeed when your income is sardines
If you could give a monkey speech, it shouldn’t be that hard-- Steve!
Throw mommy’s lab coat in the trash. Oh how you’ve disgraced her
You get nothing, you failed, you lose, Good Day Sir! 

Lockwood:
Well wait just a minu-

Wonka:
I SAID GOOD DAY!

Art by Valonide
Cover Art by Commander Jacob
Mixed and Mastered by Freshy Kanal

Flint Lockwood Vs Willy Wonka | GridLine Rap Battles Bonus

Happy Halloween y'all! We've finally come back with a full battle for the holiday season! Today we have the classic serial killer, Michael Myers, pitted against legendary actor and comedian, Mike Myers! Enjoy!

CAST
Mr. Tibbs as Michael Myers
Zawesome as Mike Myers

LYRICS
MICHAEL
Happy Halloween, All Hallows’ Eve 
When Michael’s on the scene, all who follow dream
Of the precedent, the legacy I carried on my back
That no goalie or roasty toasty ghostie can try to match
While your legacy was capped by some animated trash
Meant to latch and piggyback off a better studio
Can’t make another movie though, got moody, ask the cast
This cat is a bat shit hack
With the hat trick of bad flicks crashin’ your whole career
It won’t move as slow as me when the ends near
And with Shrek in the rear view mirror, you fell flat
Plus your improv isn’t funny, didn’t laugh

MIKE
Mr. Powers, there’s no room for you, I’m afraid
If you’re looking to “spit sick” it’s too late
I’ve sent a killer on the mic to “kill you” quick
Well I’m afraid, Doctor, he can’t spit. Well shit.
So let’s use some hindsight, are you really that iconic?
It’s hard to find a “Best” list with even your first movie on it
And it’s not like there’s new hits, by like your sixth, it’s all hollow
But no matter how bad the new flicks blow, shit follows
Like sure you’re the basis for the rest, now you’re a joke, a mess
Just a silly bitch, comedic fluff at best
I speak for a generation, it’s mean, but it’s gotta be said
I beg, after this time, stay fucking dead

MICHAEL
Made cherished characters, the love grew without you
Became sellouts too, then they fell out too
Boxed up in the attic, you tried to go dramatic
Then proceeded to shit out movies in the discount rack, it’s
Pathetic, you has been neurotic nutcase on your last grace
Shrek rose from the grave, letting you save yellow face
No matter the timeline, I can never be stopped
Just like how you'll always make classic films... Not.

MIKE
It’s quite sad when an indie series sells out for a buck
Cuz your new stuffs like Pizza Hut, they fucking suck
Let’s be real, the classics are trash, there’s no flash, pizzaz
For the gashing, blood splashing, supposed to be cool slashing
Career revered, look at my shelf, I got gold
No longer fun, collects dust on the shelf, You got old
Because you’re boring! Relevance tied to Youtube rants!
Your rhymes have become tiresome! Now ve dance!

Cover Art by Commander Jacob
Mixed and Mastered by Freshy Kanal

Michael Myers vs Mike Myers | GridLine Rap Battles Season 3

Happy Holidays everyone! We're back again with a seasonal classic, it's the salty sea scourge, Blackbeard, pitted against everyone's favorite and iconic Christmas time mascot, Santa Claus! Enjoy!

CAST
Mancha as Santa Claus
Mr. Tibbs as Blackbeard

LYRICS:
SANTA:
Some fruit for your crew, some crackers for Polly
Leave hooks for the good, diss tracks for the naughty
Take a seat on my lap and let's get down to business
Tell me little Eddie, what would you like for Christmas

BLACKBEARD:
This saint he be missin’ what I want for christmas, I want to be like you (Yar)
Cop treasure aplenty, rob corporate plenty, booty for you and yer crew (Bars)
Can you spare a few doubloons from pockets deeper than the deep blue?
Now that ye wouldn’t do, Nick, it’s ye I see through cuz
Your ho-ho-hokie shit is so below me Davy Jones be
Drowning, he be choking on the sickly sweet baloney 
Yee be feedin’ to the children like yer more than just a fable
Christian pricks pitting their kids like several Cain & fucking Abels
Over gifts they get in scores, cause they did a couple chores
But they all tend to ignore, the creep peepin’ through their door
As you rummage through their drawers, hoggin’, downing all the noggin
Step away from the stockin’, Nick, it’s time for a floggin’

SANTA:
Ho ho hold up, I can’t stand the lies you spin cause
I won’t take the slag off the seadog who put the virgin in Virginia
Mad your shabby shanties don't match with my carol lines, huh?
Go take a Bath, not talking the Carolinas
Lit without the coal. Kick you in the south pole, but
It’s not on the pole with ya, Buy Coca Cola 
Pop your head like a screw-off cuz it’s best if you cruise off
Catch me on the roof, dog. Red dot on you like Rudolph
When I come in commandeering the deer and sleigh I’m seen in
Being loved by the masses is the only care I be in
But this scallywag wouldn’t know how that feels; unfortunate
Where’s your Christmas cheer? Keep your head up, as an ornament 
 
BLACKBEARD:
I owned the high seas, ye dined on milk and sweets
Wouldn’t hurt to spare a couple to the elves and Black Pete
A fate worse than with the fishes when all you get is hershey kisses
I be gettin’ naughty listed when I set sail with yer missus

Cover Art by Commander Jacob
Mixed and Mastered by Freshy Kanal

Michael Myers vs Mike Myers | GridLine Rap Battles Season 3

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