one n only

Yooo faggotsss:)
And yeah i know, the kid in my background is a black tall Mexican boy who I love😔✌️💙

Messages are open, feel free to message, but before you ask, yes I miss you so much. Every single day I wake up and it hits me all over again how dumb I was, how blind I was, how I let the best thing I ever had slip through my fingers. I miss the way we texted for hours, the way it never felt like enough, the way your words could light up the darkest part of my day even though I couldn’t hear your voice. I miss the way it felt like we were the only two people in the world who really understood each other. I miss the way you made me feel safe, like nothing else mattered, even though we were miles apart. I miss the little things, the quiet moments, the random messages that made me smile when I least expected it. I keep thinking about all the perfect little memories we made and I cannot believe I let them go. I replay every word, every emoji, every single thing you typed, wishing I could go back and hold on tighter, say the things I didn’t say, show the love I didn’t fully understand back then. I was so dumb for losing you I could NEVER find something better, theirs nothing that could even come close to what we had, nothing, and I mean NOTHING compares. And now that it’s gone, I feel this hollow ache that just won’t leave me. Long distance made everything so hard, especially when texting was all we had. Every message from you felt like a lifeline, and I miss how much I used to look forward to seeing your name pop up on my screen. I miss crafting my replies, wondering how you’d read them, hoping you’d feel the same way I did. I miss the little battles we fought over text and the way we always found our way back to laughing together. I miss staying up late, staring at my screen, counting down the hours until I could text you again, wishing I could somehow close the distance with words alone. I keep asking myself why I let it happen. Why I let the best love I will probably ever have slip away like it was nothing. I am angry at myself, but more than anything I am sad because I know that what we had was real. It was perfect in ways I didn’t even know could exist, and I let it go. I miss the way you understood me without me having to explain, the way you made me laugh even when I didn’t feel like it, the way it felt like home whenever I saw your messages. I am left here wishing I could tell you all of this, wishing I could make you see that I know now, I understand now, and I would never let us go if I had the chance. I miss you so much it hurts, and I hate that I let my own stupid pride and mistakes ruin something so rare, something so real. I would give anything to go back, to hold on, to fight for us the way I should have. But all I have now are these memories, the regret, and this aching heart that cannot stop missing you. Even though we were far apart and could only text, I always felt close to you, closer than I have ever felt to anyone else. The distance didn’t stop me from loving you, from needing you, from wanting you, from hoping every single day that somehow it would work out. And now that it’s gone, I realize how much I underestimated what we had. I underestimated how rare it is to find someone who knows you so well, who makes you feel so safe, who makes the miles feel smaller just by sending a message. I miss the little things more than anything, the inside jokes, the way you remembered what I liked without me saying it, the way you always made me feel like I mattered, like I was everything to you even through texts. I hate that I let it end. I hate that I took it for granted. I hate that I thought I could find something better. I hate that I didn’t fight harder when the distance made it so hard, that I didn’t show you enough, that I didn’t appreciate every single message we sent. I am left with nothing but the memory of your words, the way they made me feel, the way it felt to love someone so deeply and know they loved me back even from miles away. And now it’s gone, and I can’t stop missing you, and I can’t stop wishing I could go back and do it all differently. And to think we met on soundcloud... best day ever.

Nafeesisboujee, the new wave of indie pop, remember the name. 

smile for the camera.
my music is on all platforms <3 love u

one n only

nafeesisboujee