Hello friends. I hope you can tell I've grown a lot. God has been gracious enough with me to have kept me alive to actually do the growing, and that's kind of what this song is about.

New Heart

This is a story
Start out happy
ends  up boring
outside it's pouring
Inside it's storming
gory movies playing
on the t.v. it's driving me insane
I think about the way the I'll die
and if you'll remember my name
my name
my name

Tell you that I'll change
do more of the same
Every day feeling a little bit  
more deranged
disengaged from society
high off of sobriety
we've come too far
we've come too far
for you to try to lie to me
I won't fall apart quietly
I won't leave till your smiling
I'm dialing your phone number
wake you from your slumber
spit out all my guts
prolly watch you as you leave me
love is tough
and hate is easy
I'm cliche and this is cheesy

I will laugh as you will tease me
I'm having a hard time breathing
You and the reefer have an odd effect
Kiss you goodbye 
when i get home send you a text

Misery loves company
and iron sharpens iron
I can't help but feel a failure
giving into my desires
this is me
if you don't like it you can leave
I promise I will guide you
long as you listen to me

and if I come up short
I take it out on myself
I take it out on my health
I'm self destructive
I don't listen to nothin

my flow comes with a current
you get caught up in it
I'm not of this world
I was brought up in it
taught to finish
what I start
use my mind
ignore my heart
you're my lights
when life is dark
just wait until the spring baby
Just like you & me
everything'll be blossoming baby
alright I'mma go out on a wing
and say you like it when I sing to you
Make time for each other
but we both have other things to do
I like you so I can't help but make fun of
and be mean to you

....
Money's not enough
it still takes love to make a man of me
Right now hit this tree but maybe someday start a family?
Who am I kidding
I don't even know
I ain't gonna rush it
let's just take it slow
I don't need to know
and I don't wanna
plenty fish in the sea
most of them pirannahs
I'm just being honest
because I could never lie to you
 I'm inside your mind
when I am physically inside of you
but just in case that's not enough
You make me blush when I least expect it
All my angers misdirected
I don't really mean it
I'm just busy fighting demons
 constant brink of extinction
not to mention
I'm tired and exhausted
But I still ain't lost the
spark that started
Me to want to be an artist

I'm here, I'll be here until the day  they take me
Label me a threat cuz of the way I am behaving
Got a storm inside me raging
Waiting to become uncaged
Tryna to keep up with the pace
I hear the sound of closing gates
 behind me

with the people that hate me
trying to find me
 this is a nightmare
This is a night where
nothings going right    
I'm tired of life
and I just might do something stupid
Have you ever felt this useless?    

Everytime I take a break
I let down my guard
it's so easy forming habits
why is quitting so damn hard
Like shit, this isn't good for me
So why do I keep doin it?
And using it
and feeling guilty
i swear this isn't the real me




Nameless

track 1 of 4

You can download for free.

Instrumental
-
  El Ten Eleven - My Only Swerving


6th Grade Love Letter

March Madness

[chorus]
your flaws aren't even flaws to me
and when you're feeling sad
know that you can always talk to me
she has a low cut shirt
that's a booby trap
she know i'm a dog
i call her a Scooby Snack
we smoked & then we made love
you could say I got the high score
You're so pretty looking at you makes my eyes sore

[verse 1]
No wonder i feel like a loser
i ain't been outside all day
i've been in front of the computer 
playing first person shooters
while she's working at hooters

and it feel like forever ago
I saw you glow
I gave you roses
I left them on your porch
it was partly cloudy on the night of July 4th
and you weren't home so I left you a note
I'm always sarcastic but this isn't a joke
I miss you, yeah, whatever
Go home, get high, forget her

Fuck bitches get cheddar right?
one hit single and you set for life
something just to get em hype
keep em payin attention
keep em fallin in love 
keep em falling in line
never falling behind
i'm never not on my grind

You're a keyboard
without the space bar
You're a bartender
I fucking hate bars
But i drink on occasion
Usually blazing
typically cool but pretty impatient
my soul is ancient but my body is fresh
I got a lot of love to give & some hope to express
and when I'm dying I will give you my best
you can have my bones and blood it ain't nothing but flesh

You're physically rich
But your soul is starving  
would have got to heaven 
but you couldn't find parking
spiritually drained
and mentally exhausted
You didn't even give your love away
you lost it

You got in my head like DMT
I saw myself inside of you
what did you see inside of me?
 
i saw the future
moving furniture in
us laughing
having drinks with out friends
God forgiving me for all of my sins
& you loosening up because you seem really tense

if a good guy can have a bad past
and a skinny girl can have a fat ass
then a white kid can rap
and a black kid can play chess
they mad that I'm skinny
I'm just mad that I don't weigh less

If you inside my head
then why my heart heavy?
huh? tell me why my heart heavy?

I am a nomad but you already know that
once you get me started im impossible to hold back

I am a nomad, you already know that
Once you get me started I'm impossible to hold back

[chorus]

[verse 2]
Stop rewind never let this happen
you don't even care you were just really good at actin
i am so sick of losing myself inside of distractions
i need something that will last
not just another piece of ass
I mean I'm young but I'm not dumb
I don't want you for your body
I want you for your love

i'm going in
like I don't care if you reject me
it's 99 percent a no
but that's still a one percent you let me in
on all your secrets
in that calloused heart where you keep them
I've thought of you for weeks
and now we're  finally face to face
so, how are ya?  great
I really do care 
I just don't know how to show it
i've been fucked up for so long
that it's just hard to stay focused
you can see my movements
 only God will know my motives
that's why i blow this
i try an be a light that others notice
i try to be happy
 when inside i'm hopeless
everytime you smile
it becomes the Summer solstice 
warmer than your sunkissed soul is
and with the way that you were dancin 
I would think that  you were Polish
with the way that I am flowin 
you would think that I had stole it
but I didn't,
the beer is cold and the bowls lit
i put my life on it, I put my soul in it

[outro]

if i put on my best will you show me your worst?
i got so much love inside me that sometimes it start to hurt
why is everything a blessing and a curse at the same time?
who she loves and who she hate is the same guy 

[chorus]



No Take Backs

(intro)
 I used to sleep with the light on 
Cuz I was afraid of things I could not see
Well, I grew up just to find out
The monsters were inside of me

My mother read to me
beautiful stories
and would pray with me
when it was thunderstorming

when I close my eyes
I feel you here with me
lending me your love
granting your blessings

I grew old over night
and it seems like
nothings changed
but everythings changed

(verse 1)

So there's a party at my crib
are you comin?
you know me imma be (im-a-bee), already buzzin
fuck,   sorry I'm tryna stop cussin
but when I'm drunk you can't really tell me nothin

They try to label me
but my new shit sweet as maple leaf
this is all just make believe
we walk around just breaking things

unaware of our effect we
kill each other indirectly
my mind matches my room 
cuz every day that shit gets messy
  
and nothings gonna change
unless we 
change ourselves
and it's really weird cuz in a way
i swear the pain will help

shake you,
wake you,
from that numbness
there's still treasure
in your cargo
even though your ship has sunken
this is for the kids 
who ain't have money for the function
so they sittin in they room
smokin a little somethin

this is a hope for the youth
this is food for the poor
you were new to the neighborhood
So I knocked on your door
with a cake that I baked you
like welcome to the lake view
where everybody loves you
and nobody hates you

(verse 2)

 Even demons know that God exists
sometimes the rarest diamonds 
you can find inside a pot of shit
tell me that I got to quit
watch me keep on doing it
put my soul into it
cuz my heart would just ruin it

when you feel like you can't
that's when you got to
show em your flaws
take off your costume

hate inspired by envy 
I'll pretend we never heard it
I smoke weed when I'm nervous
I smoke weed when I'm bored
I smoke weed when I smoke weed
then I smoke weed some more
You feel my love on the surface
but it comes from my core

Tryna set an example but I keep making mistakes
everyone I meet is fake
my real friends been here
been there, done that
you can shed light with one match
i drop knowledge
that's fun facts
catch me where the sun is at
believe me it's hard but looks easy
I'm high & I'm sleepy
you're so cold you say "i'm warm" when it's freezing

Flesh of the gods, ingested by humans
you saw beauty in your pain
and that got rid of the gloom
and when you stepped out of your room 
it was beautiful
take a trip outside your mind
out of your cubicle

I used to be so sure, now I'm just suicidal
I said I was sorry, but kept on worshipping idols
I am love, I don't need a title
when you see me get your camera out 
like it's your daughter's dance recital

I keep it real I don't need a facade
I put love into my music
and i put my faith in God

Lakeview

couple labels saw me saucin
got my cake i need that frostin
got a cousin out in Boston
my brother is out in cali
he told me "come to the valley"
now we don't usually do this
but i'm swaggin somethin stupid
ever since i became lucid
i've been grindin grindin grindin
hustle, hustle, got to get it
i ain't quittin till i'm dead
i hope these bitches get the message
let em know
let em know

take the highs and the lows
and try to make something of it
you testin my patience
man I'm about to say fuck it
twenty years old 
an nah I ain't post malone
i got off work at one thirty
and smoked all the way home

i need a two week vacation
from my two week vacation
I need some patience right now
i guess that makes me impatient

we could run away
we could live alone
i could lift your burdens
if you heal my broken bones (x2)

taking pictures
drinking liquor using mixers
got the juice
we'll make elixirs
cook so hard
that my wrist hurt
she broken
 and i do not try to fix her
let her love me
 when i'm with her
she my misses
i'm her 
mystery

give me that thrill 
that i been missin
can't believe i cared about
those other bitches i was trippin 
all is love 
all is forgiven
yeah

i love it when she come through
i love it when the beat hot
and everywhere i touch her
becomes her weak spot

dancing through the graveyard
sippin on wine
the smell of fresh snow
winter air and wet pine
trust me, I ain't tryna get signed
even though every bar i spit is my best line
i ain't really good, I just invest time

i'll give you everything you ever wanted
and then some 
i'll make you moan when i'm in it baby
 then cum


if you don't feel the love then I'll send some
sendin texts from my trap phone, samsung

aye, we in it
this shit is splendid
just keep me suspended in time
i'm fine in the moment
lost in the music
one with the youth
cuz we all goin through shit

we could run away
we could live alone
i could lift your burdens
if you heal my broken bones (x2)

instr. credits https://soundcloud.com/zach-aum/chills-instr?in=zach-aum/sets/prologue-instrumentals


Run Away, Live Alone

tropical music being played in Iceland.

i am a mountain
i am a cloud
i was created
i am not proud

i am a shadow
a peak and a plateau 
a beacon of a light
i  bask in the day
 i weep in the night
my circle is small
I keep it tight


but Judas lied to Jesus
for some drachma
this shit is not hot
it's magma

 Brutus killed Caesar
he stabbed him in the back
i'm not making this shit up
these are all facts
 
let the sun shine through 
let it cleanse you
you don't have to do
everything that your friends do
and when they talkin shit
I'll be the one that defends you
love with all your heart
even when it don't make sense to

you are the light in the window
you are the wind in the trees
you are the ache in my heart
you are the arch in my knees

you are my strength 
when I have none
you're my bullet proof vest
when they have guns
you're my mothers voice
saying "have fun,
but be safe.
Be humble,
but be great"

and everytime I close my eyes
you break me down
you make me weak
and even when we don't speak
I will always love you

We're singing in the night
like the owls and the bugs do
humming, buzzing, hooing
I am not sure what we're doing
i am restless, I am tired
we were smoking getting higher
listening to Band of Horses
I thought "oh my God she's gorgeous"
I got nerves on nerves on nerves
and she got curves on curves on curves
she said "I think this is the best song that I've ever heard"
and then I fell in love with her

I drink wine...
and break bread...
wakin up at noon tryna fake dead
don't fuck with me, but that's just what Drake said
o-m-g becky i'm so white boy wasted
the crowd going crazy
they call me amazing
but don't really love me
I swear I'm too rich
to fuck with the money
most of these people
just want somethin from me

underrated
that's prolly the best term
and if you don't know
then you best learn
and if you don't want to
 your conscience will haunt you
the angels they beg you
your demons they taunt you
you constantly save me you
consistently love me
this peace that you gave me
they cannot take from me
I wait for the day
where all this means nothing
my flesh fades away
and I count myself lucky
I pray that I make it 
I pray that I'm strong
when shit gettin crazy
that I can stay calm
when nothing is in me
i give it my all

I can't give up
cuz people countin on me
i'm resilient
man you could put a mountain on me
bet all my friends come and dig me up
i ain't have a ride to the party
so you picked me up
and when I'm feelin sad,
you remind me what I have
and everytime I'm mad 
you tell me why I shouldn't be
why are you so good to me?

[Chorus]










Created

spent the past three days playin pokemon Go
i don't want to hear it, I already know
the heat in my hand and the work on the stove
too busy workin to flirt with these ho's

riding through the city with my
 woes
the streets are empty
and the shops are closed

i been buzzin
i don't hear em hatin
i just hear em lovin
when they come an try to take it from me
i won't give em nothin

i sleep an i work 
and i'm made out of dirt
i smile and I laugh
and i try not to hurt
but what's it all worth
if i don't make it to ya?
 you prolly don't think about that 
or do ya?

the people that you love
have hurt you the most
the truth that you seek
is right under your nose
in love with my baby
don't fuck with these ho's

riding through the city with my
 woes
the streets are empty
and the shops are closed

i do not care what you sound like
or the color of your skin
it's your love that keeps me here
the same love makes the Earth spin


erode and decay
or flourish and thrive?
you aren't the reason
that you are alive
you do not know 
you cannot fathom
you are just made up of ether and atoms
you are not hollow
you are the moon 
and i am apollo
i die inside
everytime that you swallow
don't mean to sound shallow
but this how it is
i need your love 
 i don't need to be rich
fuck bout the paper
and fuck bout a bitch
funny how quick that all your friends can switch
you wanna match? oo this shit is lit

riding through the city with my
 woes
the streets are empty
and the shops are closed


Apollo

Misunderstood

Sad On Saturn

this the type of shit that make me wanna quit my day job
i don't want what you have, just gimme what they got
gimme gimme gimme man i'm smokin up a chimney
just praying to God that I got it in me

i was pickin pennies up
but you were a dime
i got nothin to lose
all I got is time
all i got is time

take it back to the basics
an watch nobody say shit
you hatin on the sidelines
and that's why you ain't shit

i make my own beats
i spit my own heat
i keep one rolled
in case that i get lonely

show me love show me fuckin love
you way too grown to be fuckin up

even when it's dark 
you gone see another day
i got angels prayin for me
and these demons in my way

i put my love into my work 
and watch it manifest
my cannabis 
is the cannabest

it's better than snoop's
 better than wiz
 it's better than hers
 better than his

it's better than felly's
better than skizzy's
better than what's  
inside Mexico City

i'm doin the most
let's  make it a toast
hands in the air
and stand on your toes
i don't know none of you
none of you ho's

hey chance
hey cudi 
how much for a feature?
because i got too much game
i can't be sittin in these bleachers
i am fully focused
half-stoned
the dead will prolly hear this
and wake up inside their catacombs

give it a second
give it a minute
give it an hour
wait till i'm finished
we ain't done talkin business 
i got a hit list 
lookin at my problems
 guess it's time to do the dishes
i ain't every other rapper rappin
 "bitches bitches bitches"
"ice, ice, gold, chain"
"got beef? make it rain"
 don't be worried bout me
you just stay in your lane

this the type of shit that make me wanna quit my day job
i don't want what you have, just gimme what they got
gimme gimme gimme man i'm smokin up a chimney
just praying to God that I got it in me

i was pickin pennies up
but you were a dime
i got nothin to lose
all I got is time
all i got is time

my head is haunted and my bed is unmade
an to be honest witchu i don't go no time to throw shade
i just speak my mind an I ain't ever afraid
and whenever i get worried i look up an i pray

 where do i start
 you know my mind and my heart
you know i'm blind in the dark
at times i'm fallin apart

while you were talkin shit
i was busy makin music
i ain't ever gonna quit
to stop it would just be stupid

started from scratch now this
i swear my first hit felt like my first kiss
i swear my first kiss ain't feel like shit
i swear my first kiss ain't feel like shit

i cannot stop i cannot i cannot
i keep on giving everything i got
but all that i have
i think it's not a lot
i don't know much
i know this shit is hot though

this the type of shit that make me wanna quit my day job
i don't want what you have, just gimme what they got
gimme gimme gimme man i'm smokin up a chimney
just praying to God that I got it in me

i was pickin pennies up
but you were a dime
i got nothin to lose
all I got is time
all i got is time

Quit my Day Job

the voice inside my head want me to give up
and quit making music cuz all my shit suck
but all my shit is fire
or is it water and I'm just a liar?
my fans ain't sleepin on me
even though they really tired

this is the way of the simple
 this is the love of the ancient
you have the wind at your back
you have unwavering patience
you got a spark in your heart
so cultivate it
this is consecrated ground
even the sound is sacred
there are some people in this world
that are full of hatred
and they ain't shit

do you need me now ?
do you like my music?
i hope everytime you think
of me you start to lose it
every time i think of you
i'll spark some shit
and i'll get boosted 
industry like "oh shit"
who is the new kid?

i don't need a ghost writer
baby i'm a ghost and you're a ghost rider
you a lover i'm a fighter
you a flower i'm the sunlight 
 give me one night
 i'mma show you how it's done right

i'm just tryna get it any way that I can
sellin cd's out the back of my van
i got a hole in my heart
i got a blunt in my hand
you ain't a hater
you just a confused fan

aye, tell me that it ain't true
we got nothin but we make do
i got dreams of a boat and a dog
and a lake view
but I'm loving the moment
that's a break through

im lookin the mirror who the fuck am I?
my inner dialogue would prolly make you  cry
praying everything you told me wasnt just a lie

i'll be the reason that you smile even on the day I die
sendin love from the next world
let my life be a sweet prayer
everybody has their rough days
just to be fair 

you're relevant
and time isn't
let me you show you why
i'm different

sleepin on the couch
i got my cup in my hand
she say i'm borin
all she wanna do is dance
but i'm white 
so i can't
so im chillin drinkin liquor 
smokin plants

relax, you don't need to relapse
you giving head?
my friend giving out free hats
and if you want to be yourself
then you should go and be that
and if you hatin on me i ain't fuckin with ya weak ass

i do not want to see you later
i just want to get to bed
i am so tired of the same shit
rolling over in my head
in my head

 and i don't really want this no how
and i don't really need y'all no way

but i been hopin that you see the light of day
and the blessings of tomorrow
everything we have is borrowed
you ain't ever to old to feel sorrow
or be forgiven
take a nap or pet a kitten
i admit that i'm the shit
 don't need a watch up on my wrist
I feel like the son of Osiris
feel like i defeated Isis
feel like my flow is the nicest
feel like all you do is hype shit


why is all you do is hype shit?

feel like all you do is _____
why is all you do is ____ ?

keep it low that's a cop car
they only wanna be my friend cuz i got bars
talk all the shit you wanna 
i went harder when it got hard
i ain't playin games this is not Wii, not cards
i got soul
i got heart
there is nothing in this world that is not art

i put too much love into it
they told me i couldn't do it
they said I ain't have it in me
and that everybody knew it
now i'm doin what i love
and all my haters lookin stupid
and they lookin at me funny
because I am the new kid

 i been doin this shit 
since i can remember 
its been my mission
keep sharin vision
i look up an pray
when I'm makin decisions
send water from heaven,
oh bread and provisions
i keep makin tracks
i don't need your permission
 fishin for souls
and i'm fishin efficiently
since the first day
i have not acted differently
love & consistency
i got the formula
i am just warmin up
i hope this fire i'm spittin is warm enough

Love & Consistency

i got 
a chemical imbalance
in my brain
i'd rather not
talk about it
makes me feel insane
i got 
a lot of people
know they feel my pain
pray for the sun
but you can't live without rain

verse 1

yungin tryna push a record
get it jumpin like checkers
 you think you better?
 homie here go the mic
this is so much more than likes
okay so fuck being white
they got the people losin
sight of whats important
they got shit on every channel
man it's so hard to ignore it
make me wanna put my shit in storage
 go live in the forest
that would be my fortress
tend to my orchids 
 own a couple horses
i would pray to forces that i can't see
but this is just my fantasy


Meet me
where i can always find you
let me know that 
you're tryin to

verse 2

the moon is in love with the ocean
but the sun is in love with the moon
so the sun stopped coming outside 
now he just stays in his room

I'm just in love with the Earth
been here since birth
I try not to hate it 
I wonder why
I was created
money won't make me feel
like i have made it
this food for the soul
water for spirit
you don't want to hear it
but you need to listen
you workin in vain
it's the human condition
sign the petition
avoid the perdition
you don't need tuition
to have intuition
you just like me
out here hittin and missin
trippin an trippin
just tryna grip what you can while you fall
just tryna ball
when all said an done
i'll be the one
i'll be the two
do you know why
you do what you do?

I don't need to see a comma
i just need to make my mama proud
I came a long ways from noddin out

Meet me
where i can always find you
let me know that
 you're trying to 

verse 3

hard head with a heart to match
pull up to the spot; no parking pass
you can tell thats my boy cuz he talkin trash
i started a wave you just makin a splash

i swear im so broke that i might need a cast
but i'm high on love man i hope that it lasts
i got too much to live for, be stuck on the past
im on high love man i hope that it-

the floor is lava and the air is polluted 
she want two hundred but I just want two kids
and i know i ain't perfect but that ain't fair cuz baby who is?
you is

this world'll turn you into somethin that you're not
i swear that even when you givin it everything that you got
you got the critics that will tell you how you should be
but even through the rough shit God was always good to me

Meet me
where i can always find you
let me know that 
you're tryin to

Catalyst

tell satan i'm sorry
cuz i ain't call him back in a week
an he's been askin "what are we?"

i  been in the lab
i been in the cave
 only took a day without
you here until i caved in
but i ain't worth all of the people you'd be savin

you say "what you sayin?"
 shit ain't how it supposed to be
i just want you next to me
 but don't try to get close to me
don't you got some shit to do?
i don't know, groceries?

but in reality all i want is you to move it slow for me
cuz if you're under me then how could you be over me?
this is why nobody likes the sober me
 we could be at a green light and you still wouldnt go for me
 
theres a rhythm in the vibe
and a pulse in the groove
and an essence in your body
and the way that it moves
in the way that it moves

this just had to be
i wish it weren't so
you were the only reason
that I had to curve ho's

but now you ain't here
so what i got to lose?
i smoke a lot of weed
i drink a lot of booze

but you can't hear me now cuz
i'm inaudible 
and when i say i miss you
you say that a lot of bull...

karma comin for me
i just got a feelin
and i can't tell if that's
a good thing or a bad one
 
but i love you, and i had fun
 and i thought you, were the last one
but i fucked up; like i do best
and i can't seem to love you less


theres a rhythm in the vibe
and a pulse in the groove
and an essence in your body
and the way that it moves
in the way that it moves

tell satan i'm sorry
cuz I ain't call him back in a week
and he's been askin what are we?

i been  busy
makin beats tell em leave a message
the way you love is blessed
i swear i wish i possessed it

you embody it, perfect it and manifest it
into the way you walk to your car
while i talk to the stars about how beautiful you are
bout how your body is art
so kind pretty and smart

only 21 and tryna settle down
i just never been the type of guy to get around
sorry that i had to be the one to go an let you down
sorry that you thought you found the person
that would love you while you studied nursin
that would love you forever and ever and ever and ever
and ever and ever

theres a rhythm in the vibe
and a pulse in the groove
and an essence in your body
in the way that it moves
in the way that it moves

Sorry

[chorus]
all i ever do is think of you think of you think of you think of you
i don't even know what to do what to do what to do (x2)

so i been in my room killing time
i saw all the signs
but i couldn't believe it
i wrestled my conscience
 fought with my demons
 told em  hold em up 
lemme see what you got
i swear you're enough for me
 you say  you're not
and that shit make me feel like i just got shot
so hollow and heavy
i swallow my pride
you took back your love
on the day that i died

I know what we had
 know what I lost
now when you're wet
it's just cuz the frost 
on your heart starts to melt
to a puddle beneath you
 I swear I can love you in the way I treat you
i love your smile and your hair and your feet too
this ain't a storm we can sleep through
i tell the truth when I say that I need you
I'll give you love you can see through
ain't nobody else ever get it like i gave it to ya
i miss you so damn much that  i'mma save it for ya
i'mma learn how to behave for ya
i'mma start a wave for ya 

all i ever do is think of you think of you think of you think of you
i don't even know what to do what to do what to do 

caught in this feeling
i cannnot let go
we were never good
at taking things slow 
i thought that i grew  but i just look older
she was too good for me, so i told her
but she didn't listen
and now we both wishin
that we could go back in time
things would be different
 i've always loved you
don't tell me I haven't
you left my heart blackened
and sickened
and stifled and 
stricken and numb
please don't let me succumb 
this is choking me up
sort of like i did to you until you had enough.. 

i don't know i don't know i don't know 
maybe i give up and move out to Idaho
throw all my shit away
i do not need it

love is as free as it gets
maybe why i can't forget 
when you showed me your soul
and you made me feel whole again
this is all i have been holdin in
my angel with golden skin

i don't know i don't know i don't know 
maybe i give up and move out to I don't know

all i ever do is think of you think of you think of you think of you
i don't even know what to do what to do what to do

gold

Golden Skin

Lonesome

hairy messy as his mind is
got a heart of gold so he always showing kindness
demons in his path but he's got God behind him
lost in his mind again, you can't find him
I'm him

dry in the sun, bathe in the water
keep your love pure, that's what I'll tell my daughter
but i need to grow
and you need to heal
i need to know
can this be real?
could this be love?
reflecting of light
reflecting of grace
the author of life
had come down from his place
just to give us a taste
 imagine his face
when He saw what we wasted
took all our love and replaced it with gold
took all our gold and we gave it for paper
don't you know one day that you'll meet your maker
you on your knees, Him on his throne

took your own life cuz you felt so alone
beggin "pick up the phone" just pick up the phone
look what you did
 Mom lost her kid
Dad lost him too
now every day that you're gone they just think about you

and if dad breaks down
how could mom stay strong
and your friends don't know
where it all went wrong
and they really just hurt
throwin dirt into their wounds
your mother carried you
for 9 months in her womb
now she break down
when she walk by your room
tellin God it was too soon it was too soon it was too soon

man on the moon? more like a kid
tryin to die I don't know what i did
to deserve this
starin at the stage oohh im gettin nervous
but i know what I do it for
i know who i do it for
you feel it in your soul
look like you just saw a unicorn
we goin through a super storm
i had to go super saiyan
i don't like to go online
cuz everybody's stupid man
even when I improv I'm stickin to the plan


blessings and curses
blessings and curses
searching for love, God
searching for purpose
searching for soul
only scratchin the surface
we fall into evil
and give into sin

I'm lookin around
at the world that we in
all of this pain I cannot comprehend
all of this hurt that we don't understand
without Him we cannot but with Him we can

see God does not have just a list of demands
his love is the waves, and His people the sand
oh He does not live by the standards of man, no
mercy and grace he still holds in his hands for us
but we cling to these things that are cancerous
and we asking God why won't he answer us?
if we only had faith in His plan for us
but we cling to these things that are cancerous


maybe tomorrow
maybe today
you will let go of what gets in your way
it won't be easy but it will be worth it
in light you were forged and with blood you were purchased
and i don't care what crown you wear you a servant
thank God for grace because I don't deserve it
I feel your love in my soul I am certain
they hatin, they hurtin
they fall in the dark
they drowning in sorrow
so you built an ark
ain't have nowhere to play
so you built us a park
your love is my light in the dark
i still got fight in my heart
so much within me I might split apart
but i feel a change in the tide
i feel a shift in the war
i feel your Spirit
like never before
Dear Lord please show me what I'm here for

Purpose in Pain

Formerly - The Faded Youth

independent / alternative

My promise to you is to reciprocate all the love that you show me. To give back all that I'm given. 

Desiring to make the world a better place means first, being a better person. You can't be a better person without knowing what it is to be good. Good is not defined by looking out at those around you who share in your fallen, imperfect, brokenness, but upwards to a holy God who is perfect in love.

Nathaniel Scott

Pinned to spotlight

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