VPC7 Round Zero - Pre-VPC Preview Tracks

howdy, sport. is your father home? pass the phone along, please
that proper patriarch can push me up against the family tree
meet your new step parent, tiger, how’s the home been?
cause I’m about to come in like a wrecking ball and own shit

bone picking daddy whacker, give your papa back pains
slow grinds to jack hammers, whatever the man craves
whether shins down, on my tummy, back, or eyes
I have come to bring the thunder to his flat, vanilla sky

cause I’m fly like Norrin Radd, known to flirt with hella dads
tell your mom I’d relish bad romance with her better half
the last laugh is decent, the preceding scream is best
pour that sugar from the bottle neck directly on my chest

I confess, I’ve overreached but repentance is my mission
tell me papa don’t preach, but I’ve found my new religion
because the school is back in session for a lesson in some hard knocks,
a silver fox in charge of this chicken headed heart throb

HIDE YOUR FUCKING HIDE YOUR FUCKING
HIDE YOUR FUCKING FATHERS
HIDE YOUR FUCKING FATHERS, KID
HIDE YOUR FUCKING DADS
HIDE YOUR FUCKING HIDE YOUR FUCKING
HIDE YOUR FUCKING (daddy)
HIDE YOUR FUCKING FATHERS, KID
HIDE YOUR FUCKING DADS

we can beat around the bush or get “straight” to the bottom
drop bikini line and sinker, with a single hook I’ve caught him
got a problem with my plumbing but your pops is on top of it
big dad energy in liquid form, harvested

…

how’ve you been, slugger? miss your daddy in a bad way?
he’s puttin in that overtime and coming for that back pay
late nights, calves strained, sweat levels flu-like
he’s my Al Borland and it’s always fucking Tool Time

I know that he's a family guy, I'll keep the oven warm
till he comes home from work, then I'll take him to the floor
inform Honey Bear Sr. bout my five finger discount
if he ain’t reached his full potential, guarantee I’ll pull it out

about to carpe mentula, from frenulum to scruff
then he can slide into my dm’s cause I’m slippery when wet enough
I’m tough but he can tenderize and marinate my brisket
put the grill on high heat and flip me over every twenty minutes

this is super villain shit, where heroes gets seduced
he's the Bruce to my Selina on the rooftops in leather suits
the way we move’s an art-form, the painting’s great for stress
and we’re guaranteed to sketch it out in fifty shades or less

HIDE YOUR FUCKING HIDE YOUR FUCKING
HIDE YOUR FUCKING FATHERS
HIDE YOUR FUCKING FATHERS, KID
HIDE YOUR FUCKING DADS
HIDE YOUR FUCKING HIDE YOUR FUCKING
HIDE YOUR FUCKING (daddy)

we can beat around the bush or get “straight” to the bottom
drop bikini line and sinker, with a single hook I’ve caught him
got a problem with my plumbing but your pops is on top of it
big dad energy in liquid form, harvested

VPC 7 Round 0

ExtraDial [Damn Selene, lizardgrove] -  POFF(glucosisedso reprise)

Verse 1 (Messiah Carey):

Just call us brackets
and check how long we been at it
I remember when the Olympics hit Placid
Before Orlando had Magic
Back when Gretski hit us with the hat trick
I listened to Prodigy and Havoc
and Mr Boombastik
before Slip Knot maggots
and Juggalo hatchets
when muggles used match sticks
and blockbuster had it
long enough to flip a track quick
sayin this is that phat shit
hangin out with the bad fish
drinkin fuckin Zimas gettin blasted, shit
you either had it or you matched with it
and we always had the baddest clique
since then we stayed passionate
at this point you could say we're just mashin it
like potatos
tell we where the day go, when the world was dayglow i would hit you with my payphone
horde all the play dough
run you for your pesos
you ask me why? senor cuz i say so
paint i'm huffin, hey awe muffin
what more can i say? I'm bluffin
I never stole nothin from anyone
i come through, and i'm getting done
getting finished
it's not a realtime scrimmage
i do what i can from here in to infinites and beyond and back
i'm stompin crap
this aint the 80s i want it back.


Verse 2 (Jared Sparks):

We on some squiddle ditty dee blot

Spit like damn I hope these motherfuckers got they flu shots

We rep them boondocks

I wrote this one in camo shorts and flip flops

My carharts is older than your k pops

Brackets

hijack hi jinx like zaphod beeblebrox it’s a shame how

Shane made me censor this a lot, plus he's a cop

while Jared sparks

Kicks the beat box

Word on the street is that

We should really detox

Nah let’s push the Heart of gold to the weed spot

Eeeeert y’all got that cheetah piss?

After we squeeze these spider tits

We housin habanero hummuses and pita chips

And rehash every last one of these treatises

[#%^] [Messiah Carey, Jared Sparks] - Okboomerz

[Vincent E. L. the Earwig Linguist]
Vince is old school like Princess Toadstool.
Your grandma's sewing circle thinks it's so cool.
I rebuild and music is my principal tool.
I spit rhymes while these kids just flow drool.
I take it back to the olden days. The golden age
When MC's knew how to hold a stage
and stand on a mic with rhymes that fold the page
and leave you so ashamed of your own you can't show your face.
I'll go to-- [space]. A small step for an enby.
A giant leap away from any speckle of trendy.
Recommend me whatever the heck and send me a cheque
and I'll spend it on an endless assemblance of venerable tech.
We're the creme de la gremlins 2 [the new batch],
which you and your crew would be stupid to pursue the opportunity to match.
A true catch, like zubats or whatever the kids are into.
The rare shiny thing long since discontinued.

[CHORUS]
[Both] We told you what it could be. An oldie but a goodie.
We'll show you how to boogie with our logo on your hoodie.
[A]And we Truly kept it how it was just a few enhancements
And Maybe yo it's old school we some new advancements 
[Both] We told you what it could be. An oldie but a goodie.
We'll show you how to boogie with our logo on your hoodie.
[V] 'Cause the present is depressing and we're pressing our luck
betting the music of the past helps you forget that it sucked.

[Ardamus] 
 
So old school yeah yeah that's bold
Yeah I'm an old fart,
Still rippin' you an new asshole
Don't even care if there's even fiber in your diet
A wordsmith leave you enlightened by the science
Start keepin' ya trap shut, and leave it at that
And dont tell these damn nerds that it's easy to rap
Comics dont even do it with jokes
dope dealers dont do it with dope
Just revealin' the scope
what you think you see tho, taking it back
crates of breakbeats, breakin' ya backs
It was makin' ya rap
And rhyme hard
And You weren't a DJ because you showed up and you brought you iPod
iPad, iPhone whatever you kids buy
No need for guns if they're lettin' the fists fly
Breakin' on the cardboard, practicin' beatbox
See back in my days, yo it started with street hop

[CHORUS] 

[A]
Mindless chat, Time elasped
Out of pocket ass theory on what might collapse
Proofread it was written on the walls
Addictive old ways, now I keep gettin' withdrawals
Quick pause on the tape let's stay in the moment
Parallel universe take it and clone it
It wont be the same fade and the hi-tops
Turn it up a taste with the bass it might rock

[V] There's never been a time when everything was fine.
At least none that springs to mind.
We've been advised to leave that to which we cling behind,
kill it if we have to and never hit rewind.
But the thinner line might be minimized slightly
by the inner light we bring that shines brightly.
Strings that bind tightly, wings that fly lightly,
redefine things you think, and quite right, we-- 

 [CHORUS]

.5 Quartet [Vincent E.L, Ardamus] - Oldie But A Goodie

Fandom: Aqua Teen Hunger Force
Character: Dr. Weird

Live from my lab at the South Jersey Shore
My ass ate my hand -- it hungers for more
My creations chafe being called nerdcore
So I'll gobble up your scene until you're all done for!
Grey hair spiked with the fishbowl helmet
Y'all heard the name Walter Melon
King of the castle
Fist my asshole
Splice DNA
And cause a scandal
Purple gown cut with the nips displayed
My dick give more than Christmas Day
Gave your momma that swordplay
Got more fish than Hemingway
On holiday in Uruguay
Hold the country hostage
death ray on some bond shit
Leather servant bondage like

Ooh, do the Dr. Weird, do the Dr. Weird baby 
Ooh let's get fuckin weird let's get fuckin weird baby
Ooh do the Dr. Weird, do the Dr. Weird baby
Ooh you'll be fuckin weird you'll be fuckin weird ooh

Truth teller like no cap
Disrespect like no DAP
Made a bot that hates rap
Ben Shapiro, no WAP
His wife dry like Atacama
Doc got her wetter than a hot sauna
Capture all the local fauna
For the next monster to drop on ya
It's part shrimp, part dog, part duck
Got lightning breath, you're thunderstruck
Doc says you're outta luck
Cause you fucked around with ShrimpDogDuck!
This thing is almost ten foot long
Like a feral hog
Diet full of nitrogen
letting out these Primal Winds

Your track? Never heard of it
Bars? not a word of it
Cleverness? Not detected
My dick? Not erected!
Dope shades, protect me from these hater rays
You bouta need some Gatorade
You lookin like a mirror glaze
On entremet
I cut that cake now you're awake
Got new meds for you to take
Swallow now, sip of water
Have a nice dream of rappin harder
I'mma go to your house and clap ya mama
She slobber harder than a St. Bernard
Your dad ain't bad, imma ring the post
Then I get gone like a space ghost

VPC 7 Round 1

YNG SLLVN [LL YZZ, YNGSLLVN] - La Danse Palourdes

You know I live a life of intrigue
Big fish, you wish
I know I'm in my own league*
20,000 under the sea
What up, Sebastian
Y'all crabs I'm Viagra
Because I'm lasting
My time is Neverending Story
But I'm not a cheater, Peter
Hauling in my lorry/Lorre**
Y'all bore*** me
Like a worm in my tomato garden
Y'all lames in flames
You couldn't get my James Harden****
At Busch Garden
With my homie from the Nerdlucks
I can't hear your raft
Because I never herd/heard ducks*****
Spare me if I can't strike******
When you dare me to touch a
Mike/mic Myers/My, yers*******
Don't matter just let me at a butcher knife
Life is but a dream sweetheart
And I'm the dream master
Sewing******** at the speed of light
Yeah I know I seam/seem faster*********
And I can't even tell if you're listening
I stay posted********** like the mail
The most interesting

*nautical / sports
**actor / British term for semi truck
***ennui / insect action
****basketball player / penis erection
*****to gather a group (raft) of ducks / to hear + water fowl / sucker mcs
******bowling  / oh please (spare me) + attack (strike)
*******Halloween villain / microphone + possessive pronouns
********planting seeds / making clothes
*********sewing / appear to be
**********mail / vigilant


I'm the most interesting man in the world
Holding a beer in between two girls
Salt and pepper beard
And the moment that you feared
Is when I grab the mic
And proceed to get weird

I don't always wild out 
But when I do it's full moon
Don't always play guitar
But when I do it's in tune
I don't always hate
But when I do it's because I'm driving
I don't always turn away
But when I do it's because you're lying
Don't always lock the door
Except when I've been watching Forensic Files
Don't always get high
But when I do
New hairstyle
I don't always need a friend
But when I do it's because I"m tripping
I don't always use an mp3
My LP was skipping
I don't always eat meat
But when I do I wanna have a cow
Don't tell me what to do, Bart
I hang with homies that allow
Me to be the most interesting G
And I don't always do coke
But when I do it's because it's free
I don't always dance
But when I do it's Paper Planes
Maybe Mamma Mia
Or Jump Around by House of Pain
I don't always sell drugs
But when I do it's marijuana bud
And I don't always wrestle
But when I do it's mud
Don't unsheath my katana
Unless I wanna draw blood
Don't always use a drywall anchor
Unless the hole's not on a stud
I don't always make the beer run
But when I do I get snacks
Don't always play M.K.
But when I do I pick Jax
Don't always go to church
But when I do it's cus of funerals
And when I make a sequel
I use the Roman numerals
I don't always confess
Unless they use a wire tap and
I don't always talk mess
But when I do it's because I'm rapping

Zero Cool - Stay Thirsty

Instrumental by DopeBoyzMusic.
--------------------------
They say I should stop making diss tracks 
Against these bastards who are just acting as rappers and probably wouldn't hit back
But I gotta make em pay for the errors of their ways.
As a hacker and a rapper, I put interest on their syntax
I see the racism inside, I peeped the peephole
You get through ya life, stereotyping all people
You say that it’s common sense but try to escape the consequence
With back-handed compliments, your tactics are all see through
mc chris-level apology, it don’t even matter
You can't see the problem with ya tweets, and that’s even sadder
They say I should rise above, get my feet up on the ladder 
But I'm pissed off, you'll get pissed on. Suck my dick, I'll clear my bladder
You actually call yourself a rapper.  The audacity
Get out the kitchen, Josh. You ain't cookin' bars. You can't stand the heat  
It’ll cost you an arm and leg to think you can handle me
And when you've lost, we'll see your family bury an amputee

YEEEEAH, there’s some like Joshua
Racists around the world stay dumb like Joshua
YEEEEAH, better run fast Joshua
Black rappers in nerdcore and none like Joshua

You say that Asians dominate intelligence, you don't
Say that to my face and try to walk away, you won't
You need to check yourself, better talk with a new tone
Or I'mma having you cryin' for your momma like a Cubone
Culture vulture, fast rap isn’t done well
Got receipts of deleted tweets, left a crumb trail
You advertised music with "RAP" in ya thumbnails
After George Floyd, you advertised with Blacks in ya thumbnails
Checked your Youtube, saw millions of new views,
Plus some rappers  you were dope, but I ignored them  
I watched some video of yours, my IQ getting low of course
You bring a whole brand new definition to boredom
The only difference tween you and these other generic
Youtube anime rappers is occasionally you tour some
But underneath I see that you only achieve to be another
White rapper in the scene appropriatin' for fun

YEEEEAH, there’s some like Joshua
Racists around the world stay dumb like Joshua
YEEEEAH, better run fast Joshua
Black rappers in nerdcore and none like Joshua

Alright, that last line might seem like a pompous statement
Because you say there's a part of you that's partly Asian
Now I ain't tryna hate on the way you that address yourself
But take a  good long look in the mirror and assess yourself
You used to record verses, said you like rappin' 
Then you grew a beard, now you're white-passin'
So when I say appropriation, there's a way I mean it
You only bring up being an Asian when it's convenient

YEEEEAH, there’s some like Joshua
Racists around the world stay dumb like Joshua
YEEEEAH, better run fast Joshua
Black rappers in nerdcore and none like Joshua

None Like Joshua (Diss)

[Ardamus's verse]
Famous in Nerdcore, shit, I'm cool on it
No hatin', just sayin'if that's you wanted
And I don't give a damn if you rap at the right pace
Some yall like rap when its backed with a white face
And if that ain't you, just shut fuck up
Take a three clover, it's over your luck's up
Some of us battled fools who had guns in their waistline
Way before you could even function with face time
Before adult swim came on a late time
Back when your parents kept ignorin' the hate crimes
(Oh they still on it) no actual silence
Yelling all your plans like the Capitol riots
If I make you mask up, factual science
If I take ya task up, ya have an alliance
With the bathroom floor, as I take away stans
I'm like Urkel on the court with the breakaway pants

[Ardamus's Hook - 3x]
So sick of this shiiiiit.....
I got outta bed for this.....

[Vincent E. L. the Earwig Linguist]
Your non-weedsmoking token Swede made this dope ass beat in point five of a minute,
and I've got private citizens high, none the wiser, vibing with it.
Sky's the limit, type of shit I wipe from my lids in the morning,
I make heads nod in the middle of yawning.
Got you drawn in, fawning, on and on again.
It both is and can't be beat, 'cause it's a homonym. Astonishing
prominent promising competent shaman in audio processing,
vomiting vowels and consonants. Towels? Come toss 'em in.
Play possum and cross the jostling off of the list,
'cause .5 think outside the sarcophagus.
Hands and esophaguses discharing raw awesomeness.
Possibly blossoming into gods of incomparable consciousness.
Cream of the crop of this contest, no opposition.
This competition will end with one position.
Not first, point five. Half a double decker sandwich.
This is the part where I remind you it's my second language.

[refräng]
Så trött på skiten... Är det här vad jag klev ur sängen för?

.5 Quartet [Vincent E.L., Ardamus] - Outta Bed

[Vincent E. L. the Earwig Linguist]
Assigned producer or vocalist.
Separate and distinct, otherwise you're a loser or don't exist.
One of two roles, but I've found that they might vary
and when have I ever bowed down to a binary?
I'll lie buried before I prioritize winning,
eyes brimming at the prize, grinning in the ninth inning,
over taking part in the creative challenge  
without wasting talents, holding back in the name of "balance".
Eighty gallons of raw skill, and you want half of it?
Pour out the forty in a sacrifice to Baphomet?
Don't want your teams too passionate?
Just a fraction of the imaginative capacity of this cabinet?
The sign says "must be this tall to ride".
Well, we're above it, so we're disqualified.
And when you all have died and the dust has settled,
there won't be anyone upon whom to thrust the medals.
Rusty kettles whistle as we boil over, soil coasters  
and spoil your royal clover club with soy yogurt.
Annoy voters by proxy, openly mocking the system
and showing the moxie to throw the whole competition.
We'll talk, you'll listen, you'll all be wishing we won
when the mission is done, consensus is "this has been fun".
The distance we've run will be worth it,
'cause we multiplied the challenge and managed to still be perfect.

Unless you're super judgmental,
here's .5 Quartet, two for one special.
Twice as many as half of all of us.
Too advanced of math for dogmatists.
With risk you'll lose a blood vessel,
here's .5 Quartet, two for one special.
Doesn't matter if it's good or bad.
Just imagine what you could've had.

I'm pulling double duty, but I'm only one part of this.
I didn't make this beat, but I sent one off to Ardamus.
Our tracks will have you begging for an armistice.
Not for mercy, but rather to offer arguments
in our favor to the judges
till their stance on team structure budges.
Anything between raucus riots and humble nudges
till the maximum number of tracks per round fudges.
But don't hold grudges at our inevitable loss.
We're the martyrs in this myth and heavy is the cross.
The devil's in the flaws and the gods are gonna hate on us,
but in a few weeks all your followers are satanists.
We're great at this. It's like we're spinning thread.
We could do this even if we were the living dead.
Wait, I just got word from Ardamus, it seems I've been misled.
He won't be doing vocals, so I guess we'll simply win instead.

[Ardamus]
...Sike....
I drove you crazy
don't trip, I'm still gonna rip that beat you gave me
but i had to be an opportunist
they jump the gun with their round 0 but they never try and hop the bullet
More than Mario
doing Cardio
Sorry yo
I was never from the streets but I played around in barrios
Pardon my pardon beggin' my pardon no Dolly Parton
Startin' to get my star when they often keep jockin' my jargon
Harden with beard on my face, tryin' to ball again
I'm hardened with a sneer on my face, high as balls again
Figured its a good idea to show a little 
what could happen when you have the right combination and flow a little
and...show a little, in this showcase, flow great
I kept diggin' and diggin' now I got mo' crates
Sure bet with the point five quartet
with EL on my drums, you should know we're a sure threat

.5 Quartet [Vincent E.L., Ardamus] - 2-For-1 Special

SO I SPEAK RAPS, WEAR A SNAPBACK AND ADIDASS
PEEL YOUR WIG LIKE A SAILOR DO A CAN OF SPINACH
ME AND BEAKER SLEEK, KEEP CASH AS WE CLINK GLASS
HIT UR SHORTY WOPS NEAT ASS WITH A SKEET BLAST (CONSENSUALLY)
WHILE YOU WERE WATCHIN HENTAIS WITH TENTACLES, ANEMONES
NEVER CALL ME SENPAI BRO YOU ARE DEAD TO ME
CHEAP DOC DEMENTO SHITS OFFENDING ME
AND YES ITS ME, YET YOUR WHOLE STYLE IS PRETEND TO ME
(FAKE) NO YOUR BANDCAMP ALBUM ISNT TEMPTING ME
HEAVILY, IM SHARPENING MY BLADES IN THE HEBRIDES
I'M GREAT, YOU WILL NEVER BE, IN A CENTURY
AND YOU COULD NEVER PLAY THIS LORD...EVONY
DA BUTO (YEAH), THE PYTHON (DA BUTO)
NEAT BITCH, TALI FEET PICS WITH THE TWO TOE
PYTHON LIKE FOR EACH LOOP EXECUTE CODE
PYTHON LONG JOHN SILVER YOU ARE TOO CHODE
MOOK FLOW (PAID) MAD RESPECTABLE THE FLAT RATE
YALL AINT GOT THE GOUDA THEN YA TELL ME HOW MY MASK TASTE
CASH, CAKE, TALENT, ITS EXPECTED THAT I SMASH GREAT
STATE THAT EVEN LADY DIMITRESCU COP THE FAT EIGHT

ExtraDial [Damn Selene, lizardgrove] - POFF(glucosisedso reprise)

NerdcoreVPC

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