SPANDEX MOOSE IN THE VPC

Fandom: Aqua Teen Hunger Force
Character: Dr. Weird

Live from my lab at the South Jersey Shore
My ass ate my hand -- it hungers for more
My creations chafe being called nerdcore
So I'll gobble up your scene until you're all done for!
Grey hair spiked with the fishbowl helmet
Y'all heard the name Walter Melon
King of the castle
Fist my asshole
Splice DNA
And cause a scandal
Purple gown cut with the nips displayed
My dick give more than Christmas Day
Gave your momma that swordplay
Got more fish than Hemingway
On holiday in Uruguay
Hold the country hostage
death ray on some bond shit
Leather servant bondage like

Ooh, do the Dr. Weird, do the Dr. Weird baby 
Ooh let's get fuckin weird let's get fuckin weird baby
Ooh do the Dr. Weird, do the Dr. Weird baby
Ooh you'll be fuckin weird you'll be fuckin weird ooh

Truth teller like no cap
Disrespect like no DAP
Made a bot that hates rap
Ben Shapiro, no WAP
His wife dry like Atacama
Doc got her wetter than a hot sauna
Capture all the local fauna
For the next monster to drop on ya
It's part shrimp, part dog, part duck
Got lightning breath, you're thunderstruck
Doc says you're outta luck
Cause you fucked around with ShrimpDogDuck!
This thing is almost ten foot long
Like a feral hog
Diet full of nitrogen
letting out these Primal Winds

Your track? Never heard of it
Bars? not a word of it
Cleverness? Not detected
My dick? Not erected!
Dope shades, protect me from these hater rays
You bouta need some Gatorade
You lookin like a mirror glaze
On entremet
I cut that cake now you're awake
Got new meds for you to take
Swallow now, sip of water
Have a nice dream of rappin harder
I'mma go to your house and clap ya mama
She slobber harder than a St. Bernard
Your dad ain't bad, imma ring the post
Then I get gone like a space ghost

VPC 7 Round 1

YNG SLLVN [LL YZZ, YNGSLLVN] - La Danse Palourdes

Fandom: Lord of the Rings 
Character: Bill the Pony

BILL THE PONY
BILL THE PONY

I started from the bottom then one day four hobbits came
They said let's get poppin' and we went to weather top n hey
I've got a brave heart like William Wallace, honest
But when those wraiths got on us I ran like they were coppers

But then I drank from the well in rivendell
now I'm unbeatable strap on your seat-a-belts
cos i got those buffs like gandalf right after he fell
and I'm oh so furry just like beast and belle

you'll only ever be half of me
they named the prancing pony after me
(that's not canon) mmmm shut up!
I'm the valiant stallion you're as soft as butter

I'm like if rainbow dash n lil sebastian
had a passion for smashin' call me lil lil sebastian
just imagine! i'm magic
I'm such a Star they be callin me Patrick

BILL THE PONY
BILL THE PONY
BILLNBILLNBILLN
YOU FINNA KNOW ME

Let me introduce you to my fellowship it's hella sick
We'll be BFFs forever man we'll never split
Gandalf, Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, damn!
Boromir, Frodo, Merry, Pippin, Sam!

Fording rivers, crossing plains, climbin mountains day on day
Did you think I'm quittin on this mission? Neigh!
We're at the lake, chillin' by the gate
can't get inside , gandalf's in a rage

wha wha wha what's Elvish for friend?
"Mellon" and this is how it ends?
my protestations falling on to hollow ears
man ya'll a bunch of Boromirs!

enjoy your bloody trip to mordor orcs are 
round every corner sorta hope you fall in water
n get slaughtered n quartered cos it gotcha
I'm off ya'll enjoy "THE WATCHER!"


my teas gone cold I'm wonderin why
I got out of bed at all
the morning rain clouds up my window
but I can't see at all
and even if I could it would all be grey
put your picture on my wall
it reminds me that it's not so bad
it's not so bad...

Dear mister horses aren't allowed inside the mines
I ate your lembas bread good luck i'm sure you'll be just fine
It's been six months and still no word, I don't deserve it
I was your mane man now you carry the pots and pans you pervert

Frodo don't know you like I know you Sam, no one does!
They don't know what it was like as Shire lower class
Hey Sam I just blazed ya westfarthing! Dare me to ride?
You know that song by Bombadill where nothing happens
and everyones confused, that's kinda how this is
you could've pulled me off the floor
anyway I gotta stop now cos I'm a little horse.

Spandex Moose [Mike Bananas, Frank Danger] - Bill The Pony

Super Mario Match Maker

Welcome one and all to the mushroom kingdom
Gettin' in mah groove I assume ya thinkin'
it's all PG, keep it honest like Lincoln
But they're tryna keep it hush dude just like Clinton

Baby Mario, Luigi, Baby Daisy, Peach
there's gotta some freakin' going on beneath the sheets
Bowser Jnr, Baby Rosalina, so freaky
women always gettin wet and wild with waluigi

wahhhhhh I'm not a shy guy
maaaan I was surprised to find
Princess Peach is out pimpin' peeps and
Birdo's doin' blowies on the cheep cheep beach

No more Paper Mario now we're usin' rubbers
On Toad's rockin' chode not tryna make mothers
and we're not even gettin' to the milestone yet
Cos your slipslide ride make my dry bones wet

You can pick and choose down at Big Boo's Haunt
the keys are in the bowls and it's on like Kong
There's gonna be jungle hijinxs witcha neighbour
we're making mistakes at mario's match maker

Mario might make you moan
Bowser's got a beast below
Peach is playing ping pong
But Donkey Kong's dong
Don't do no wrong

Mario might make you moan
Bowser's got a beast below
Peach is playing ping pong
But Donkey Kong's dong
Don't do no wrong


We're down in the basement lookin for DUCKHUNT (da cunt)
We're on an odyssey that's a homer run
If you know your Greek epics that's a sneaky pun
I'm also down here doin' cheeky cums

You know Wario's always playin' by himself
It's a good thing too cos the dude truly smells
Myself man I've got an abundance of wealth
I'll trade you 100 coins n I'll give you one up wahh

I don't want diddy kong baby gimme daddy kong
big balls like tanuki bringin' that daddy dong
whip it down my warp pipe pappa don't fear
I pinkie promise there's no piranha plant here

Treat me like Yoshi I'll be swallowing ya aggs
But once you've finished I'll be packin' my bags
I've gotta leave sweetie, not far to go
it's not you it's a me, Mario!

You can pick and choose down at Big Boo's Haunt
the keys are in the bowls and it's on like Kong
There's gonna be jungle hijinxs witcha neighbour
we're making mistakes at mario's match maker

Mario might make you moan
Bowser's got a beast below
Peach is playing ping pong
But Donkey Kong's dong
Don't do no wrong

Mario might make you moan
Bowser's got a beast below
Peach is playing ping pong
But Donkey Kong's dong
Don't do no wrong

VPC 7 Round 2

Spandex Moose [Mike Bananas, Frank Danger] - Mario Match Maker

Coconut Surprise (Slop Slop)

(digging)
Hey Frank! Frank!

What?

Check this out! I found a tape recorder!
Looks like a minute or two of battery left!

Great! We can use it to send out an sos

Welcome to Island Time Live! The number one rated (and only) program on Island TV! Please welcome your host... Mike Bananas!

Hey! Thank you so much! Hey how bout this one Frank. Check out these stretches!
What are you doing...
Pilates of the Carribean!
(Frank) So thirsty... help help!

chilling on the island
feeling like a pirate
cos I think I got scurvy
Haven't eaten in days

Cos coconuts equal diarrhea
And no TP makes a red-raw rear
(Been a year), and a little bit of poo between two good friends

urrgh...

time for a key change more like a seachange
when i do wees out my dick I get pee pains
Went from yellow, to turning red
Speaking of red, I got terribly sunburnt

Coconut solo!

Tree solo!

Crab solo!

Oh no! Frank what did you do to Sebastian?

Ate him.

I bet he was tasty, I feel so hungry.
So hungry... gonna eat Frank

(Frank) wait what?

I said I gotta be Frank I got a back up in my spank bank
300 days since I had a dank wank
And I really need to bust in a coconut
(Frank) Bust in a what?
Don't drink em! slop slop

slip slap gonna whack on a hat
walk down to the waves using hair from my back
to make rope (you've lost it..)
Look an Oasis! I guess today I gotta bring it back to you

(not even how it goes...)

Alright! Well goodnight everyone, hope you enjoyed the show. I know I did. I host the show. Me. Mike Bananas. Every week. So until next week. See you later!  


mike! mike! tell them the coordinates
Oh yea! 
BATTERY DEPLETED

VPC 7 Round 3

Spandex Moose [Mike Bananas, Frank Danger] - Coconut Surprise (Slop Slop)

Ooh, it's a sexy ass beat in the headphones
I was moving my feet even when I was alone,
Now we're close, and you're closing the door
I want more, baby show me what you got

Like a head in the sky, feeling so high,
Now I'm being lain down low, so slow, oh my
So nice, we caress, fingers run across your chest
Running through the little hairs, like a nest, come here...

I get close and I whisper in your ear
All the things you know I wanna hear, and some you don't
I say "Mike, every castle needs a moat", "and you know,
that you're mine, you protect me like the outermost

wall of a keep", "you're the lord to my lady, but baby,
there's something you should know":
They're saying we make fun of rap. They say we're whack.

They say we're whack?

"You're making fun of rap!"
wHy dOn'T yOu cRy aBoUt iT
"You're rhymes are fuckin whack!"
wHy dOn'T yOu cRy aBoUt iT
"I wish you'd take it seriously, it's not good, not for me"
wHy dOn'T yOu cRy aBoUt iT

Ohh, I'm in bed,
tucked up tight for the night, I'm wrecked, all set,
For a helluva snooze, got a flight direct
Down to noddy land, I body slam,
Down on the sheets, so silky soft,  
And I'm lost in the dreams in my head, instead

DING DING on the phone on my nightstand
Right then, message on read
"They're saying we make fun of rap"
"They say we're whack"
Now I'm shell-shocked staring at the text
Hit em with the "new phone, who dis?", Frank says "dude it's,
me" and you know what's next 
We hold each other tight, we cry together 
We try to make it better cos we're so depressed

And the messages are coming in the streams.
Y'all motherfuckers mean.

"You're making fun of rap!"
wHy dOn'T yOu cRy aBoUt iT
"You're rhymes are fuckin whack!"
wHy dOn'T yOu cRy aBoUt iT
"I wish you'd take it seriously, it's not good, not for me"
wHy dOn'T yOu cRy aBoUt iT

When you, go hat shopping you want a hat
So how is that bad? Your feedback is whack
Not my raps, I'm hot and my rapping is sick
Like a dog when its got a paralysis tick

Click click, have you ever ever felt like this
When strange things happen and you're going round the twist? (this is a reference to an australian show you don't know)
A group from Down Under just went over your head (this is a reference to how you didn't get that last reference)

We're under ya bed, like Sulley, 
And we're landing on the Hudson
Guns on my belt, I'm hot and my rapping is sick
You can celebrate this dick

*random hype noises*

Spandex Moose is the best band!
In the VPC, every year!

Spandex Moose are the best rappers!
In history, this is some Wu Tang Shit

Celebrate (Spandex Moose!) come on!


It's the moose, dawg
Number One like Hoops, dawg (this is another funny reference you don't get but it's funny trust me)
Thats the truth, dawg
Two man wrecking crew, dawg
We're just front-page news, dawg
Call us Murdochs

We're from the Antipodese
Yeah antipod-eez nuts

You had garlic? How bout you garlic my butthole

Kings of the mic
And if you don't like it?
wHy dOn'T yOu cRy aBoUt iT
*mic drop*

VPC7 Round 4

Spandex Moose [Mike Bananas, Frank Danger] - wHy dOn'T yOu cRy aBoUt iT (ft. Joey Zed)

I DON'T GO OUT!
I just stay at home
COS THAT'S WHERE ALL MY SHIT IS (shit is)
so don't hit up my phoooooonnnee

I won't even leave you on read nah
Like I know you're definitely my friend but
I'm gonna do that thing where I flick down the screen
and pretend that I didn't see ya,

but I seent it, Gotta get the mood right
set my smart bulbs to candlelight
whip it out, gonna work on myself
journaling for my mental health

how I feel: good
sense of self: strong
what I want: pud
sexy elf: wrong

therapist asked me to write my thoughts
sitting here in my jimmy jam shorts
Asking what I do when I'm home alone
Motherfucker y'all already know

I JIMMY JAM WITH MY JIMMY JAM SHORTS ON
I JIMMY JAM WITH MY JIMMY JAM SHORTS ON
I JIMMY JAM WITH MY JIMMY JAM SHORTS ON
JIMMY JAMMY JIMMY JAMMY JIMMY JAMMY
SHORTS ON!

I JIMMY JAM WITH MY JIMMY JAM SHORTS ON
I JIMMY JAM WITH MY JIMMY JAM SHORTS ON
I JIMMY JAM WITH MY JIMMY JAM SHORTS ON
JIMMY JAMMY JIMMY JAMMY JIMMY JAMMY

I DON'T GO OUT!
COS THAT'S WHERE ALL THE PEOPLE ARE (people are)
And I'm in a lockdown zone
So I can't really travel far--BUT

I got feet pics if you want 'em
I got feet pics if you want 'em
I got feet pics if you want 'em
I got feet pics if you want 'em

Spandex Moose onlyfans
Only man's but trust me...
they're good

I'm not alright, I'm not good
Feeling like, I've had too much pud
I'm not alright, I'm not good
Feeling like, I've had too much pud

too much pud? too much pud
too much pud? too much pud
too much pud. too much pud.
too much pud. too much pud.

Hi Mike, it's your therapist. I wanted to talk to you about these journal entries. I'm not sure I really understand what's going on. You keep writing about jimmy jams? Not sure what those are. And why did you write about feet pic--

by the time you hear the next drop
the jam shall be within you.

I JIMMY JAM WITH MY JIMMY JAM SHORTS ON
I JIMMY JAM WITH MY JIMMY JAM SHORTS ON
I JIMMY JAM WITH MY JIMMY JAM SHORTS ON
JIMMY JAMMY JIMMY JAMMY JIMMY JAMMY
SHORTS ON!

I JIMMY JAM WITH MY JIMMY JAM SHORTS ON
I JIMMY JAM WITH MY JIMMY JAM SHORTS ON
I JIMMY JAM WITH MY JIMMY JAM SHORTS ON
JIMMY JAMMY JIMMY JAMMY JIMMY JAMMY
SHORTS ON!

(phone call)

VPC7 Round 5

Spandex Moose [Mike Bananas, Frank Danger] - JIMMY JAM

ROUND 1 - Sincerity

Vocalists:

Write a sincere song.

Throughout history music has been used in tandem as both an expression of passion and a way to communicate difficult messages.  Many times throughout history, things that may not have been acceptable to say via spoken or written word—or may not have been as palatable or visible—have been communicated through music.

Whether it was coded messages to help slaves navigate the Underground Railroad, the protest songs in the 1960s that helped change and shape the American culture, or a love song a young man wrote to propose marriage to the love of his life, music has been used to accomplish some very important things.

This song should be important to you.  It would be easy to go for the cheap laugh by planting your tongue firmly in you cheek and being ironically or satirically sincere, but that’s not what this challenge is about.

One of the most vulnerable and challenging things to do as an artist (especially a musician) is to make art about something that you honestly value and care deeply about.  Criticisms of these songs can feel very personal and more weighty than with other songs because of the gravity of the content.

This song can be persuasive, defensive, accusatory, romantic, grateful, encouraging, heart-warming, hate-spewing, philosophical, political, spiritual, or epistemological; but the one thing it must be is sincere.

Producers:

Produce and mix this song in a way that is vocal-centric.

Your task in this challenge is to craft a song that showcases not just the vocal track, but the lyrics of the song.  Make sure your composition, arrangement, and mixing all serve to highlight the lyricism of the song.  This could mean minimal instrumentation, breaks to highlight certain lines, dynamics that complement fluctuation of
the vocalist’s lyrics and delivery.  It does not mean simply making the vocal track louder.

Vocalist/Producer Challenge 2, Round 1 Entries

Happi MC & Matt Cassel - Thoughts of Home

You know I live a life of intrigue
Big fish, you wish
I know I'm in my own league*
20,000 under the sea
What up, Sebastian
Y'all crabs I'm Viagra
Because I'm lasting
My time is Neverending Story
But I'm not a cheater, Peter
Hauling in my lorry/Lorre**
Y'all bore*** me
Like a worm in my tomato garden
Y'all lames in flames
You couldn't get my James Harden****
At Busch Garden
With my homie from the Nerdlucks
I can't hear your raft
Because I never herd/heard ducks*****
Spare me if I can't strike******
When you dare me to touch a
Mike/mic Myers/My, yers*******
Don't matter just let me at a butcher knife
Life is but a dream sweetheart
And I'm the dream master
Sewing******** at the speed of light
Yeah I know I seam/seem faster*********
And I can't even tell if you're listening
I stay posted********** like the mail
The most interesting

*nautical / sports
**actor / British term for semi truck
***ennui / insect action
****basketball player / penis erection
*****to gather a group (raft) of ducks / to hear + water fowl / sucker mcs
******bowling  / oh please (spare me) + attack (strike)
*******Halloween villain / microphone + possessive pronouns
********planting seeds / making clothes
*********sewing / appear to be
**********mail / vigilant


I'm the most interesting man in the world
Holding a beer in between two girls
Salt and pepper beard
And the moment that you feared
Is when I grab the mic
And proceed to get weird

I don't always wild out 
But when I do it's full moon
Don't always play guitar
But when I do it's in tune
I don't always hate
But when I do it's because I'm driving
I don't always turn away
But when I do it's because you're lying
Don't always lock the door
Except when I've been watching Forensic Files
Don't always get high
But when I do
New hairstyle
I don't always need a friend
But when I do it's because I"m tripping
I don't always use an mp3
My LP was skipping
I don't always eat meat
But when I do I wanna have a cow
Don't tell me what to do, Bart
I hang with homies that allow
Me to be the most interesting G
And I don't always do coke
But when I do it's because it's free
I don't always dance
But when I do it's Paper Planes
Maybe Mamma Mia
Or Jump Around by House of Pain
I don't always sell drugs
But when I do it's marijuana bud
And I don't always wrestle
But when I do it's mud
Don't unsheath my katana
Unless I wanna draw blood
Don't always use a drywall anchor
Unless the hole's not on a stud
I don't always make the beer run
But when I do I get snacks
Don't always play M.K.
But when I do I pick Jax
Don't always go to church
But when I do it's cus of funerals
And when I make a sequel
I use the Roman numerals
I don't always confess
Unless they use a wire tap and
I don't always talk mess
But when I do it's because I'm rapping

Zero Cool - Stay Thirsty

Instrumental by DopeBoyzMusic.
--------------------------
They say I should stop making diss tracks 
Against these bastards who are just acting as rappers and probably wouldn't hit back
But I gotta make em pay for the errors of their ways.
As a hacker and a rapper, I put interest on their syntax
I see the racism inside, I peeped the peephole
You get through ya life, stereotyping all people
You say that it’s common sense but try to escape the consequence
With back-handed compliments, your tactics are all see through
mc chris-level apology, it don’t even matter
You can't see the problem with ya tweets, and that’s even sadder
They say I should rise above, get my feet up on the ladder 
But I'm pissed off, you'll get pissed on. Suck my dick, I'll clear my bladder
You actually call yourself a rapper.  The audacity
Get out the kitchen, Josh. You ain't cookin' bars. You can't stand the heat  
It’ll cost you an arm and leg to think you can handle me
And when you've lost, we'll see your family bury an amputee

YEEEEAH, there’s some like Joshua
Racists around the world stay dumb like Joshua
YEEEEAH, better run fast Joshua
Black rappers in nerdcore and none like Joshua

You say that Asians dominate intelligence, you don't
Say that to my face and try to walk away, you won't
You need to check yourself, better talk with a new tone
Or I'mma having you cryin' for your momma like a Cubone
Culture vulture, fast rap isn’t done well
Got receipts of deleted tweets, left a crumb trail
You advertised music with "RAP" in ya thumbnails
After George Floyd, you advertised with Blacks in ya thumbnails
Checked your Youtube, saw millions of new views,
Plus some rappers  you were dope, but I ignored them  
I watched some video of yours, my IQ getting low of course
You bring a whole brand new definition to boredom
The only difference tween you and these other generic
Youtube anime rappers is occasionally you tour some
But underneath I see that you only achieve to be another
White rapper in the scene appropriatin' for fun

YEEEEAH, there’s some like Joshua
Racists around the world stay dumb like Joshua
YEEEEAH, better run fast Joshua
Black rappers in nerdcore and none like Joshua

Alright, that last line might seem like a pompous statement
Because you say there's a part of you that's partly Asian
Now I ain't tryna hate on the way you that address yourself
But take a  good long look in the mirror and assess yourself
You used to record verses, said you like rappin' 
Then you grew a beard, now you're white-passin'
So when I say appropriation, there's a way I mean it
You only bring up being an Asian when it's convenient

YEEEEAH, there’s some like Joshua
Racists around the world stay dumb like Joshua
YEEEEAH, better run fast Joshua
Black rappers in nerdcore and none like Joshua

Happi MC & Matt Cassel - Thoughts of Home

NerdcoreVPC

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