Fandom: Aqua Teen Hunger Force
Character: Dr. Weird

Live from my lab at the South Jersey Shore
My ass ate my hand -- it hungers for more
My creations chafe being called nerdcore
So I'll gobble up your scene until you're all done for!
Grey hair spiked with the fishbowl helmet
Y'all heard the name Walter Melon
King of the castle
Fist my asshole
Splice DNA
And cause a scandal
Purple gown cut with the nips displayed
My dick give more than Christmas Day
Gave your momma that swordplay
Got more fish than Hemingway
On holiday in Uruguay
Hold the country hostage
death ray on some bond shit
Leather servant bondage like

Ooh, do the Dr. Weird, do the Dr. Weird baby 
Ooh let's get fuckin weird let's get fuckin weird baby
Ooh do the Dr. Weird, do the Dr. Weird baby
Ooh you'll be fuckin weird you'll be fuckin weird ooh

Truth teller like no cap
Disrespect like no DAP
Made a bot that hates rap
Ben Shapiro, no WAP
His wife dry like Atacama
Doc got her wetter than a hot sauna
Capture all the local fauna
For the next monster to drop on ya
It's part shrimp, part dog, part duck
Got lightning breath, you're thunderstruck
Doc says you're outta luck
Cause you fucked around with ShrimpDogDuck!
This thing is almost ten foot long
Like a feral hog
Diet full of nitrogen
letting out these Primal Winds

Your track? Never heard of it
Bars? not a word of it
Cleverness? Not detected
My dick? Not erected!
Dope shades, protect me from these hater rays
You bouta need some Gatorade
You lookin like a mirror glaze
On entremet
I cut that cake now you're awake
Got new meds for you to take
Swallow now, sip of water
Have a nice dream of rappin harder
I'mma go to your house and clap ya mama
She slobber harder than a St. Bernard
Your dad ain't bad, imma ring the post
Then I get gone like a space ghost

VPC 7 Round 1

YNG SLLVN [LL YZZ, YNGSLLVN] - La Danse Palourdes

ADVERTISEMENT

Hey middle class humans, do you like sex, but hate how expensive it is?
Are you tired of spending fifteen dollars on a tiny bottle of lube and running out of grocery money?
Well, head on over to your nearest Walgreens, CVS, or Rite-Aid, and pick up a bottle of store-brand lube. You’ll slip right into the pleasure of saving $5.99. IT’S THE ONLY BRAND FOR YOUUUUU

(sped up) Warning: processed in a facility that also processes peanuts, eggs, name brand lube, cyanide, and superglue. May disintegrate condom and/or penis. Side effects include sticky fingers, middle class ennui, pregnancy, permanent pregnancy and/or death. 

[scratch] Hey what’s up, this is LEX the Lexicon Artist, and you’re listening to LexicOhm on the Nerdcore VPC. [scratch] Turn off the TV, I’m a rap star, listen to the PC.

SONG

[Hook]

(store brand lube, it’s the only brand of you)

Get the store brand lube  
Yeah it’s the brand for you 
Because your rent is due 
And it’s the best you can do 


[intro]

Aw yeah baby
Tonight’s gonna be extra special
Cause I wanna make love to you 
But as you probably know, my paycheck’s two days late and I had to cancel our Netflix subscription so I could pay for gas
So tonight, we’ll be using store brand lube


[verse]

Cause you’re a human being, and you have human needs
And everyday you wanna find a way to do the deed
It’s time for making a baby but you got two to feed
And cost of living is crazy now, wouldn’t you agree?

On top of student loans, on top of credit cards
You gotta pay for your stupid hobby of getting hard
And putting on a three dollar condom and spreading legs apart
And realize that all the lube is gone and you can’t even start

It’s getting chafed and it’s really dry when you rub it
Oil breaks latex and saliva doesn’t cut it
First you get frustrated, and then you’re like, fuck it
I guess I gotta learn to be a player on a budget

Don’t forget, we’re on your side
First step, cast aside the Astroglide
You could have more sex for just half the price
So slide into the pleasure of saving 5.99

[hook]

[verse]

We know about the rent up in San Francisco
But you deserve to get some at the disco
Your lack of sex is not genetic, it’s fiscal
We’ll help you get some sugar like a sexy Rubisco

Walk through the door, get the store brand lubricant
Our ingredients are a total exact duplicate 
Of popular name brands like KY Jelly
Except you save hella cash, hey why you jelly

Get into the vibe of this advertisement
Your slippery desires, we can satisfy them
From Walgreens to Rite-Aid, we standardize it
We take the name brand and we bastardize it

Squeeze it in your hand, liberally apply
Not gonna lie it gets kinda syrupy when it’s dry
And sticks to your thighs, and isn’t ideal I won’t deny it
But your finances are limited so deal with it and buy it!

[hook]

[verse 3]

Put your savings on lube in your 401k
Maybe you will find a use for it one day
Or you could take your savings and donate to a charity
dedicated to mitigate economic disparity

But actually here’s a better idea
You could get yourself a new bed frame from IKEA
Take your girl to dinner at the Cheesecake Factory
And bang her with a lube that is passably satisfactory

[hook x2]

Lexicohm - Store Brand Lube

You know I live a life of intrigue
Big fish, you wish
I know I'm in my own league*
20,000 under the sea
What up, Sebastian
Y'all crabs I'm Viagra
Because I'm lasting
My time is Neverending Story
But I'm not a cheater, Peter
Hauling in my lorry/Lorre**
Y'all bore*** me
Like a worm in my tomato garden
Y'all lames in flames
You couldn't get my James Harden****
At Busch Garden
With my homie from the Nerdlucks
I can't hear your raft
Because I never herd/heard ducks*****
Spare me if I can't strike******
When you dare me to touch a
Mike/mic Myers/My, yers*******
Don't matter just let me at a butcher knife
Life is but a dream sweetheart
And I'm the dream master
Sewing******** at the speed of light
Yeah I know I seam/seem faster*********
And I can't even tell if you're listening
I stay posted********** like the mail
The most interesting

*nautical / sports
**actor / British term for semi truck
***ennui / insect action
****basketball player / penis erection
*****to gather a group (raft) of ducks / to hear + water fowl / sucker mcs
******bowling  / oh please (spare me) + attack (strike)
*******Halloween villain / microphone + possessive pronouns
********planting seeds / making clothes
*********sewing / appear to be
**********mail / vigilant


I'm the most interesting man in the world
Holding a beer in between two girls
Salt and pepper beard
And the moment that you feared
Is when I grab the mic
And proceed to get weird

I don't always wild out 
But when I do it's full moon
Don't always play guitar
But when I do it's in tune
I don't always hate
But when I do it's because I'm driving
I don't always turn away
But when I do it's because you're lying
Don't always lock the door
Except when I've been watching Forensic Files
Don't always get high
But when I do
New hairstyle
I don't always need a friend
But when I do it's because I"m tripping
I don't always use an mp3
My LP was skipping
I don't always eat meat
But when I do I wanna have a cow
Don't tell me what to do, Bart
I hang with homies that allow
Me to be the most interesting G
And I don't always do coke
But when I do it's because it's free
I don't always dance
But when I do it's Paper Planes
Maybe Mamma Mia
Or Jump Around by House of Pain
I don't always sell drugs
But when I do it's marijuana bud
And I don't always wrestle
But when I do it's mud
Don't unsheath my katana
Unless I wanna draw blood
Don't always use a drywall anchor
Unless the hole's not on a stud
I don't always make the beer run
But when I do I get snacks
Don't always play M.K.
But when I do I pick Jax
Don't always go to church
But when I do it's cus of funerals
And when I make a sequel
I use the Roman numerals
I don't always confess
Unless they use a wire tap and
I don't always talk mess
But when I do it's because I'm rapping

Zero Cool - Stay Thirsty

Instrumental by DopeBoyzMusic.
--------------------------
They say I should stop making diss tracks 
Against these bastards who are just acting as rappers and probably wouldn't hit back
But I gotta make em pay for the errors of their ways.
As a hacker and a rapper, I put interest on their syntax
I see the racism inside, I peeped the peephole
You get through ya life, stereotyping all people
You say that it’s common sense but try to escape the consequence
With back-handed compliments, your tactics are all see through
mc chris-level apology, it don’t even matter
You can't see the problem with ya tweets, and that’s even sadder
They say I should rise above, get my feet up on the ladder 
But I'm pissed off, you'll get pissed on. Suck my dick, I'll clear my bladder
You actually call yourself a rapper.  The audacity
Get out the kitchen, Josh. You ain't cookin' bars. You can't stand the heat  
It’ll cost you an arm and leg to think you can handle me
And when you've lost, we'll see your family bury an amputee

YEEEEAH, there’s some like Joshua
Racists around the world stay dumb like Joshua
YEEEEAH, better run fast Joshua
Black rappers in nerdcore and none like Joshua

You say that Asians dominate intelligence, you don't
Say that to my face and try to walk away, you won't
You need to check yourself, better talk with a new tone
Or I'mma having you cryin' for your momma like a Cubone
Culture vulture, fast rap isn’t done well
Got receipts of deleted tweets, left a crumb trail
You advertised music with "RAP" in ya thumbnails
After George Floyd, you advertised with Blacks in ya thumbnails
Checked your Youtube, saw millions of new views,
Plus some rappers  you were dope, but I ignored them  
I watched some video of yours, my IQ getting low of course
You bring a whole brand new definition to boredom
The only difference tween you and these other generic
Youtube anime rappers is occasionally you tour some
But underneath I see that you only achieve to be another
White rapper in the scene appropriatin' for fun

YEEEEAH, there’s some like Joshua
Racists around the world stay dumb like Joshua
YEEEEAH, better run fast Joshua
Black rappers in nerdcore and none like Joshua

Alright, that last line might seem like a pompous statement
Because you say there's a part of you that's partly Asian
Now I ain't tryna hate on the way you that address yourself
But take a  good long look in the mirror and assess yourself
You used to record verses, said you like rappin' 
Then you grew a beard, now you're white-passin'
So when I say appropriation, there's a way I mean it
You only bring up being an Asian when it's convenient

YEEEEAH, there’s some like Joshua
Racists around the world stay dumb like Joshua
YEEEEAH, better run fast Joshua
Black rappers in nerdcore and none like Joshua

Lexicohm - Store Brand Lube

NerdcoreVPC

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