just another strong set of words that represents my daily struggles

In Pain Trance (Impatience) (Prod. Beyondhelen x Brxmley x Lvnarbeats)

WRECK (PROD. VENUS & GRIMSIDELBC)

PAIN (PROD. BRETTATHEW) (PROD. CYOUNGBEATZ)

THE GOOD DIE YOUNG (Prod. GRIMSIDE) (Prod. SAFE)

ALONE (PROD. MOON)

BURNING SUN (PROD.LUKE)

LOST BOY (PROD. INTENSYA)(PROD. GRIMSIDE)

I just wish life didn't have to be this way.. 
I hate chillin with my best friend at his grave.
It's not what you think.
So much to say in me.
So much so say in me.
Sometimes words don't come out, I just breakdown and cry uselessy.
We did so many stupid things.
I feel no release.
I feel no release.
How could you take your life and leave your loved ones wondering, wandering?
It's more than me.
Depression and anxiety takes the souls who can't eat or sleep.
It stays suppressing physically, mentally.
Really, really not letting you be who you wanna be.
Too much reality.
Lost in your own world, broken hearted from a girl that said she would never leave.
That was my destiny.
I'm just describing my own life, this is part of my story.
So much to say in me.
What do I get to keep?
Just death.
I have no peace, when do I have a chance to fucking breathe.
When I let it out I bleed.
Shadows are security.
Fuck this world and the drugs that you took so lonely.
Blood stays flowing.
So much to say in me.
I have no peace, when do I get a chance to fucking breathe.
When I let it out I bleed.
Shadows are security.
Fuck this world and the drugs that you took so lonely.
I really can't deny the pain I feel inside has haunted my whole life to the point where I wanna die.
To understand the light you must feel the otherside.
You cannot close your eyes to the GRIMSIDE.
If you fall consumed there's so much truth to getting up when you lose sight.
I can't play by the rules cuz my spirit flys.
I can't remember the last time when I felt alright.
How am I supposed to forget the negative?
You always come my way say I was never shit.
How am I supposed to forgive?
Away from it all when I split.
You can't handle it when I spit.
Turn your speakers up bitch.
They take advantage til I'm sick.
I say I believe in love.
I live with no regrets.
Shit keeps getting worse I been sitting in the dirt thinking I won't live.
Do I know my worth?
Even if I did, I have no more to give.
My life moves like the wind.
My fingers slip.
All I feel is death.
A sinking ship.
I'm lost in my fucking head and I been alone for far too long, it's wrong I feel already dead.
My music makes me live even if it makes you sad.
I'll say it again and again..
I stay with true self-expression for every dying man.















SO MUCH (PROD. PIERRE606) (PROD. 1ICAMI) (PROD. GRIMSIDELBC)

Ripped from my arms. 
Continuous grief. 
Taking my rest, my sleep,my peace.
Empty for eternity. 
The love in me is wandering abandoned and bleeding. 
Judged by society, darkness keeps me screaming.
You'll never kill the light in me as long as I'm breathing. 
GRIMSIDE.
nickydee L-B-C.
Drowning in feelings that leave me incomplete
Try to get some rest but I can't so I feel dead.
Thoughts of a pessimist mixed with death and no love is a recipe for the end.
No light in sight or a reaching hand.
I fucking can't relax.
I cannot accept that she won't come back. 
Shake the earth, strike the ground, yell out loud.
Fuck that.
What the fuck.
I'm not ok.
I cannot survive without the only one who added color to my gray days.
She met her demise when it should have me.
I've been waiting to die ever since I was 13.
I'll repeat that many times I'll say it again until I die. 
I've been trapped in my own mind, fake a smile, I'm filled with fire, I'm numb inside.
She was filled with so much life and it was taken away that night.
Can't believe he killed my love, thought that we would be alright.
Now I'm always hard to find.
Hide my face.
Can't show up.
If I let you in don't you ever be unkind.
Darkness is in my place. 
Nauseous I might really throw up.
They all left me behind. 


NOT OK (PROD.CURTES) (PROD. GRIMSIDELBC)

All at once this is just too much. 
I wanted to keep you safe. 
In me, you just lost faith. 
You slipped away into another place. 
When the life left your eyes I died that day. 
They said that you were missing..
You already passed, its been three 3 days. 
It was December 15th 20-23.
I see the fucking crash in my mind everyday.
Now I can never kiss your face. 
Now we can never run away.
Back to left on read.
Judge me cuz I'm dead. 
Hopeless romantic man. 
I have no fucking plan. 
How does this fucking happen to me? 
Swear to God I'm in disbelief. 
Feel a rope tied to my ankles and the bricks to my feet.
Except I don't jump I keep the pain in me. 
Cried so many tears sometimes I can't even speak. 
I know it's hard to believe. 
I'm shaped from tragedies. 
They are all apart of me. 
The sadness, the love, the memories, the feelings of feeling incomplete.
Rest in peace to the lonely deceased.
I'm not sure when I'll ever feel a sense of normlacy.
Rest in peace to the lonely deceased.
Rest in peace to the lonely deceased.
Rest in peace to the lonely deceased.

APART OF ME (PROD. CHEMICAL) (PROD. GRIMSIDELBC)

If only they knew.
I was the saddest in the room.
Filled with passion kinda rude.
Love assassin with my tool.
Keep on smashin when I lose.
It's the truth.
I keep losing my love cruel.
Maybe they know. 
They don't give a fuck about a lost soul.
No trust cuz somebody left your world cold. 
So fucked, I give my all, I get left alone.
The children sad they don't have a mom.
I give my love I'll always answer if you call. 
I just cry and hit the wall. 
My memory is on fire. 
What does it mean to you to have it all?
I used to have it all. 
Have it all.x4



HAVE IT ALL (PROD. VELVET.WAVE) (Prod. GRIMSIDELBC)

So what I'm sad.
Fuck it I'm mad.
Fuck a lame bitch that don't wanna love me.
GRIMSIDE nickydeeLBC.
I get the cash.
Never be last.
Even if they took it all from me.
I got the swag.
Lost in my past.
There is no way that I cannot love you.
Die to bring you back.
I can't relax.
All there is left is pain, they did not come through. 
Feel my mind attack.
Might fuckin relapse. 
Didn't come all this way just to lose, that is all true.
Stop ,I just can't.
Deal with the fact.
Never be the same without my wife but I cannot fall too.
Lost in past.
Memories crash.
There is no way that I cannot love you.
Hope my breath last. 
Don't wanna die fast.
All of this rage keeps me confined and consumed.
Abused.
One of the used.
Keep me confused.
Leaving when I'm bleeding is terribly rude.
It's the way I see things that kill my mood.
Trust me I'm the real thing when I say I love you.
I'm tired of fucking screaming, im so alone I can puke.
There is no way that I cannot love you. 
There is no way that I cannot love you. 
Sacrifice my whole life give it all up for you.
There is no way that I cannot love you.











NO WAY (PROD. USHANKA BOY) (PROD. GRIMSIDELBC)

Sometimes pain runs deeper than you'll ever know...
Sometimes I'm in more pain than I'll ever show..
If I had arms of steel I could break the fucking ground from the emotion I feel. 
My entire world changed when my wife got killed. 
Memories on my brain haunt my brain so real.
You ain't trying to get in the paint that's blood all over the wheels. 
Don't ever ask me if I'm okay if you're part of the reason why I feel how I feel.
There's nothing to explain. 
When you were needed you just moved out of the way.
That's just not real. 
I can't relate. 
I'm the type that can't bear to see my family in pain. 
But now I have no family I'm just a ghost that screams. 
Feel so fucking stranded, I'm in a state of disbelief.
Off of this planet, sad and laughing, smoking just so I can eat. 
Don't ever say you know me when you just left me lonely feeling worthless.
I'm not fucking perfect but if you lost what I lost I wouldn't have left you deserted. 
And if I didn't wear this cross you would be in the dirt bitch.
I really struggle with forgiveness. 
You don't give a fuck what it cost me so I'll just leave you clueless.
I don't want to bury my head in my hands and continue to feel like I'm useless.
I don't need you to tell me that I'm the man when I already know what I'm doing.
You don't even got to deal with what I got to deal with.
I go to sleep and wake up every morning feeling fucking sickened without my wife and children. 
If you only plan to make shit worse trust me you do not exist. 
Make you feel my abyss.
I am not the one to fuck with. 
My only one was gone quick. 
Now I have no fucking trust it has gone with the wind.
I am him.
Abandoned.
Abandoned.

ABANDONED (PROD. SANTORYO) (PROD. GRIMSIDELBC)

Honestly fuck this feeling.. x3

Can't give a fuck if you were late.
Can't give a fuck if you relate.
I'm eating steak on my dinner plate. 
Smoking dank.
Always in pain.
I might pass away.
I'm all alone chilling in my grave.
I'm fuckin stoned.
I'm in a tomb in my brain.
nickydeeLBC.
All he feels is pain.
GRIMSIDE.
Sick and fuckin tired so I hide away.
Got a lighter? 
Just get higher, shout out Juicy Jays.
When I get caught up in the fire, I really make it rain.
When I get caught up in the fire, I really make it rain.
Try to live my life wiser and learn from my old ways. 
Try to live my life wiser and learn from my old ways. 
I'm a lover, I'm a fighter, I'm a writer when I rage. 
I hold the mic and fuckin scream.
I'm a demon in the sheets.
Keep on bleeding cuz I'm me.
nickydeeLBC 
GRIMSIDE 
Lost my Meli, only kiss her in my dreams.
Loss is heavy.
Glock stay ready if you really fuck with me.
Aim stay steady.
You ain't ready for the beam.
So just leave me in peace or I'll really set you free.
Yeah.
Loss is heavy.
Glock stay ready if you really fuck with me.
Aim stay steady.
You ain't ready for the beam.
So just leave me in peace or I'll really set you free.
Show you suffering.
Show you the meaning of ugly.
Yeah 
Loss is heavy 
Show you suffering.
Loss is heavy.
Glock stay ready if you really fuck with me.
Aim stay steady.
You ain't ready for the beam.
So just leave me in peace or I'll really set you free.
Show you suffering.
Show you the meaning of ugly.
yeah.
Loss is heavy.
Glock stay ready if you really fuck with me.
Aim stay steady.
You ain't ready for the beam.
So just leave me in peace or I'll really set you free.







FUCK THIS FEELING (PROD. PRXD_AJ)(PROD. GRIMSIDELBC)

Head to the chrome, fuck a crowd, 
I'll leave the room alone and pray that I just make it out.
Knife to my wrist, I know that they won't miss me now.
Feels fucked up when I say that all out loud, out loud.
Just my honest thoughts no it ain't for clout.
Don't wanna keep on crying baby I don't wanna drown.
Never felt this crazy and lonely, I hope that I can make it out.
Hope that I make it out.
Hope that they stay down.
I don't wanna feel the rain come down.
Never felt this crazy and lonely, I hope that I can make it out.
Hope that I make it out.
Hope that they stay down.
I don't wanna feel the rain come down.
If I give up, see me laid out.
Shot rings out, blood and brains pour out.
Don't wanna fucking halo now.
Unstable, the savior of the bleeding sound.
An angel that has fallen down yet still is proud.
A love like you never known is around.
If I let go just know I that found no other way to see beyond the clouds.
Fighting myself.
If I just let go, I can't just let go, I can't keep fighting myself.
Yeah.
If I just let go, I can't just let go, I can't keep fighting myself.
Yeah.
If I just let go, I can't just let go, I can't keep fighting myself.
Yeah.
If I just let go, I can't just let go, I can't keep fighting myself.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I can't keep fighting myself.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm in hell I can't keep fighting myself.
Yeah.
I'm in hell I can't keep fighting myself.
Yeah.
I'm in hell I can't keep fighting myself.








FIGHTING MYSELF (PROD. YUNG LEXAR)(PROD. GRIMSIDELBC)

How the fuck do you say you're my friend?
Stuck, you left me in the deep end and I didn't see a hand.
Never act like you really had my back.
When you hit my phone I'm always last.
I don't want no fake friends.
Stay the fuck away never talk to me again. 
Stay the fuck away never talk to me again.
And when I turn the page there's no fuckin regret. 
I'm him.
A man full of pain just trying to win.
A man full of rage that's just so sick.
Grief made me insane but I keep living.
Keep loving.
Pray to God above me there's someone out there for me.
Pray to God above me there's someone out there for me.
Give fuck if you judge me.
The whole world is ugly.
Give fuck if you judge me.
It's always fucking something.
It's always fucking something.
It's always fucking something.
Spin In my head, spin In my head, spin in my head,
Fuck fake friends.
Spin In my head, spin In my head, spin in my head,
yeah.
Spin In my head, spin In my head, spin in my head
Fuck fake friends.
Spin In my head, spin In my head, spin in my head bitch.
Spin In my head, spin In my head, spin in my head,
Fuck fake friends.
Spin In my head, spin In my head, spin in my head,
yeah.
Spin In my head, spin In my head, spin in my head
Fuck fake friends.
Spin In my head, spin In my head, spin in my head bitch.
How the fuck do you say you're my friend?
Stuck, you left me in the deep end and I didn't see a hand.
Yeah.
Never act like you really had my back.
When you hit my phone I'm always last.
I don't want no fake friends.
Stay the fuck away never talk to me again. 
Stay the fuck away never talk to me again.
I don't want no fake friends.
Stay the fuck away never talk to me again. 
And when I turn the page there's no fucking regret.
Yeah.
And when I turn the page there's no fucking regret.




FAKE FRIENDS (PROD. M.EXO46) (PROD. GRIMSIDE)

nickydeeLBC 
Grimside
This is disparity.
Fuck.
This disparity 
My house is paper thin. 
The spirits walk around and scream from the abyss. 
I am him. 
The one who knows loneliness. 
Took a look around and all I saw was death.
Thoughts keep screaming loud, lost up in my head.
Will I make it out or die from my own hands?
My flame is burning out, I don't really understand. 
Don't understand.
There's people that walk around really giving all they can. 
Done all they can.
I'm not like any other man. 
The way I gave my all and now I'm sad.
Wish I had someone to call my own but I'm alone and that's what makes me mad. 
If you could only know but you don't so just relax.
Just relax.
I smoke to not lose control of my own life fast.
This is disparity.
I know more than I wanna know and that's what scares me.
This is disparity.
I feel more than I wanna feel.
I say more than I wanna say.
They still don't hear me.
Back to the dispensary. 
This is disparity.
I smoke when I wanna smoke.
My thoughts scream loudly.
Yeah.
This is disparity.
Get high, I just wanna float that sounds relaxing.
This is disparity.
Can't stop dabbing.
Grimside on the mic bitch I die everyday it's a tragedy.
Yeah.
This is disparity.
I know more than I wanna know and that's what scares me.
This is disparity.
I feel more than I wanna feel.
I say more than I wanna say.
They still don't hear me.
This is disparity.
This is disparity.
They still don't hear me.
This is disparity.
This is disparity.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This is disparity.
I'm not like any other man. 
The way I gave my all and now I'm fucking sad. 
The way I gave my all and now I'm fucking sad. 
The way I gave my all and now I'm fucking sad.
The way I gave my all and now I'm fucking sad.
The way I gave my all and now I'm fucking sad.
The way I gave my all and now I'm fucking sad.
The way I gave my all and now I'm fucking sad.




DISPARITY (PROD. YUNGO17) (PROD. GRIMSIDELBC)

nickydeeLBC 
GRIMSIDE MOTHAFUCKA 
I'm not complaining.
This pain is neverending.
Never. 
Ending.
This pain is neverending.
Never. 
Ending.
A dab to you is a bowl to me.
So I take 3.
The pain I feel's controlling me.
When I smoke too much I just go to sleep.
When I feel alone my thoughts creep.
I go into zone when I'm really lonely.
Dead alive, living ghost, I get so high, I'm so sad, it's overflowing. 
If you sit in the shadows you might know me. 
If you live to see tomorrow, you are lucky.
I hold so much sorrow, it gets ugly.
I lead, I do not follow the untrustworthy.
My heart keeps feeling hollow, life is burning me.
Wallow, bleed and bleed until I'm worthy.
I cannot believe I lost my one and only.
Yeah.
2023 has taken apart of me, to start again is so concerning.
The pain is neverending.
Never.
Ending.
I am so incomplete.
I'm learning to breathe.
This codependency is embarrassing.
Without her I really feel like I am nothing.
I'ma doubter, I'ma downer, fuck you if you think this shit is funny. 
Yeah.
Let me create a painting.
The colors say I'm insane and crazy.
I have too much love, somewhere along the way when I gave it away, I swear it fucking killed me.
I have too much love, somewhere along the way when I gave it away, I swear it fucking killed me.
I'm not complaining.
This pain is neverending.
Never.
This pain is neverending.
Ending.
Yeah.
Never.
Ending.
Never. 
Ending.
Never.
Ending.
Yeah.
Never.
Ending.
This pain is neverending 
This pain is neverending.






NEVERENDING (PROD. L3v3lRov3r) (PROD. GRIMSIDELBC)

nickydeeLBC mothafucka
Yeah
GRIMSIDE 
Eastside mothafucka

Never leave me alone
Never leave me alone
Never leave me alone
Never leave me alone

Sit on my lap while we smoke.
Like Nate said never leave me alone.
My eyes red from the dope.
Roll up some gas and just float. 
Take a dab, relax, just to cope when I'm so sad, yeah alone.

Never leave me alone.
Never leave me alone.
Never leave me alone.

Outta mind so I get stoned to get outta my mind when I feel like a ghost. 
All I wanted was love but I'm left so cold.
I don't want to die without a family of my own. 
Spent so many nights staring at my phone.
Will I ever find peace?
I don't fucking know.
I've been trapped inside my mind for so long on this road.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sit on my lap while we smoke.
Like Nate said never leave me alone.
My eyes red from the dope.
Roll up some gas and just float. 
Take a dab, relax, just to cope when I'm so sad, yeah alone.

Never leave me alone.
Never leave me alone.
Never leave me alone
Never leave me alone
Never leave me alone.

Yeah.
I'm a mess.
I'm depressed.
I survived when you would fold.
Still take the time to heal my soul.
I just grind and hide from hoes.
Got no time to lose control.
I'm on fire.
Now you been told.
I show no mercy, captain insano. 
It really depends how the mothafuckin day goes.
Please don't hurt me..then I will be cutthroat.
Just don't wcall me the worst thinsg. 
I really go with the flow.
Sit on my lap while we smoke.
Like Nate said never leave me alone.
My eyes red from the dope.
Roll up some gas and just float. 
Take a dab, relax, just to cope when I'm so sad, yeah alone.

Never leave me alone.
Never leave me alone.
Never leave me alone
Never leave me alone

Never leave me alone
Never leave me alone
Never leave me alone

Never leave me alone
Never leave me alone
Never leave me alone

Never leave me alone
Never leave me alone
Never leave me alone

Never leave me alone
Never leave me alone
Never leave me alone








NEVER LEAVE ME ALONE (PROD. 1LONZO) (PROD. GRIMSIDELBC)

nickydeeLBC 
GRIMSIDE 
Bitch I'll catch a flie in the sky don't bother me like Mr. Miyagi.
Sometimes I feel like I'll never be with anybody, who wants to be with a horror story?
YEAH
Dank hit my face, blam, Bruce Lee. 
Jungle boys in LA got me high as can be. 
NickydeeLBC. 
Grimside. 
Call me Grim when we speak.
Might be happy or angry.
Maybe sad as can be.
Probably chilling, dabbing, rapping, cuz life such a sad thing.
YEAH
Dead and alive, I bet your not surprised that Im still stuck from tragedy.
I really try my best to not focus on what bothers me.
I keep smokin an smokin an smokin to stop the demons from following.
Whole heart open.
Third eye open. 
I can't keep on suffering.
I have to control that part of me.
All the loss took a hold of me.
YEAH.
Took a toll on me.
I just kept bleeding.
No one to save me.
I just kept screaming.
Where the fuck is my baby.
You don't have to believe me.
I just wanna be enough.
I just wanna feel the love.
Fuck being the broken son.
I know I'm not the only one.
Really lost it all and now I'm numb.
Fuck this violent silence.
There is so much life in him.
He is kept in a mental abyss.
Kindness is letting the light in.
My cries lead to arguments.
My life is confinement.
I am not fine.
Waiting for the day I don't burn in the sunlight. 
YEAH.
If I can't have love just let me die.
YEAH.
If I can't have love just let me die.
I am enough although I live with sad eyes.
YEAH.
I am enough although I live with sad eyes.
I am enough although I live with sad eyes.
I am enough although I live with sad eyes.
YEAH.











SAD EYES (PROD. VERME) (PROD. GRIMSIDELBC)

I AM WHATS REAL.
REMOVE AND REVEAL.
nickydeeLBC 
GRIMSIDE 
I am still here.
YEAH
Remove and reveal.
YEAH.
I hold no fear.
Consumed, full of tears.
Death is not near.
I am what's real.
That is so clear.
Too used I feel weird.
Confused I can't see her.
I'm a believer.
Don't wanna suffer.
Don't want you be just my lover.
Don't want you be just my lover.
Wanna keep you.
Hold you forever.
Never say never.
Just wanna get better.
Whatever's clever.
Too many times forever severed.
So many crys.
I'll be the upsetter.
Not the one to fucking lecture.
Yeah 
Yeah.
Yeah.
Fill me with lies, I'll be the forgetter.
Stay by myside for worse or for better.
I promise you will see me shine like I'm on fire.
I promise you will see me shine like I'm on fire.
I am still here.
Remove and reveal.


REMOVE AND REVEAL (PROD. BLIX) (PROD. GRIMSIDELBC)

nickydeeLBC 
GRIMSIDE

I stay far away.
You'll remember my face.
My name.
GRIMSIDE.
nickydeeLBC.
FROM LB AND LA.
We don't dab the same.
That's everyday to kill my pain.
Its everything to kill this fucking rage.
I stay in the batcave high off hall of flame.
I just medicate and hope for better days.
I begin to separate when you're throwing shade.
I begin to elevate when It's all love, no hate.
Swear I really don't feel no shame.
I been dead since the day he took my love away.
Fuck the feds.
Swear I see red when I see a pig.
Fuck the whole squad.
Catch a fuckin hollow tip.
It's GRIMSIDE.
TOO MANY GHOSTS OUTSIDE.
Bet I'll show up right on time for my happiness.
You can bet I'm out my fuckin mind to just find it.
Can't pretend, my whole my life I been so fucking haunted.
Bet I'll show up right on time for my happiness.
You can bet I'm out my fuckin mind to just find it.
Can't pretend, my whole my life I been so fucking haunted.
HAUNTED 
HAUNTED 
HAUNTED 
HAUNTED 
Yeah
Somebody help me find my mind I lost it. 
I've been praying to the sky cuz I don't want to feel so rotten. 
If it's not real love I don't want it. 
I've been feeling real fucked.
I'm a living horror story. 
Bury me inside of your garden.
HAUNTED.
It's GRIMSIDE.
TOO MANY GHOSTS OUTSIDE.
Bet I'll show up right on time for my happiness.
You can bet I'm out my fuckin mind to just find it.
Can't pretend, my whole my life I been so fucking haunted.
Bet I'll show up right on time for my happiness.
You can bet I'm out my fuckin mind to just find it.
Can't pretend, my whole my life I been so fucking haunted.
HAUNTED 
HAUNTED 
HAUNTED 
HAUNTED 
CANT PRETEND, MY WHOLE I BEEN SO FUCKING HAUNTED

 

HAUNTED (PROD. ELEBOIII) (PROD. GRIMSIDELBC)

nickydeeLBC mothafucka
GRIMSIDE
My foot on your neck I know your suffering.
Every minute every second you strangle me.
This sadness is a sickness I cannot breathe normally.
The shadows lead me to the gallows and start fucking drowning me.
My Intent is to forget all the shit thats killing my dreams.
Manifest a power that Ive never even seen.
Feel that stab in my chest every other thought I think.
I dont wanna hear my own voice in my head Im sick.
I'm fucking sick.
Fucking sick.
Violent silence keeping me awake.
Tossing and turning when I try to sleep.
Dabs and trees are burning cuz I just feel no peace. 
My love is not returning now I feel incomplete.
Violent silence keeping me awake.
Tossing and turning when I try to sleep.
Yeah.
Dabs and trees are burning cuz I just feel no peace. 
My love is not returning now I feel incomplete.
Yeah.
Learned my love is distant, that's why I break.
Waiting all my life just to feel no pain.
Depression and tension creates rage.
Suppressing feelings of being lonely again.
So sick of it..
Again and again and again..
Tossing and turning again and again..
Oh.
Violent silence keeping me awake.
Tossing and turning when I try to sleep.
Yeah.
Dabs and trees are burning cuz I just feel no peace. 
My love is not returning now I feel incomplete.
Oh.
Violent silence keeping me awake.
Tossing and turning when I try to sleep.
This violent silence is pushing me down.
In this violent silence I am found. 
Violent silence 
This violent silence is pushing me down.
In this violent silence I am found.
Found.
Found.



VIOLENT SILENCE (PROD. UKIAH BEATS) (PROD. GRIMSIDELBC)

These people don't care about the Dead. 
nickydeeLBC 
GRIMSIDE 
I would have your back if you were clueless. 
Behind my back I know you would fuck my bitch.
That's the difference. 
The ignorance and arrogance. 
I can't let the devil win. 
Can't let him in.
People skilled in evil move with natural pestilence.
Diseased.
You're really fucking see through bitch you're not a friend. 
I cannot pretend. 
These people don't care about the dead.
I can't pretend. 
These people don't care about the dead.
Forever stressed.
Sit and watch the blood spray from his neck. 
Next second celebrate the death.
You complain about disrespect but don't have the facts. 
No brain, no shame. 
Just sit and laugh.
I'm speaking as a dying man.
No I can't relax.
There was a crash.
At one time I almost had the family that I dreamed I'd have. 
Everyday I am so sad. 
The love I gave made me a man.
Her murder mad me fucking mad.
I swear I want to hold her hands. 
Kiss her.
Hug her. 
Love again.
I cannot pretend. 
These people don't care about the dead.
I can't pretend. 
These people don't care about the dead.
I cannot pretend. 
These people don't care about the Dead. 
I can't pretend. 
These people don't care about the Dead.
Forever stressed.
I'm all alone it never ends.
I've lost control.
I just need rest.
I just need rest. 
If we're talking peace that's something I can't get.
CPTSD.
If we're talking peace that's something I can't get. 
CPTSD.
IF WE'RE TALKING PEACE, THAT'S SOMETHING I CAN'T GET.
THAT'S SOMETHING I CAN'T GET. 
THAT'S SOMETHING I CAN'T GET. 
THAT'S SOMETHING I CAN'T GET.
I just need rest.
I just need rest. 
If we're talking peace that's something I can't get.
CPTSD.
If we're talking peace that's something I can't get. 
CPTSD.
IF WE'RE TALKING PEACE, THAT'S SOMETHING I CAN'T GET.
THAT'S SOMETHING I CAN'T GET. 
THAT'S SOMETHING I CAN'T GET. 
THAT'S SOMETHING I CAN'T GET.
THESE PEOPLE DONT CARE ABOUT THE DEAD.

THE DEAD (PROD. GEEZZZ) (PROD. GRIMSIDELBC)

REST IN PEACE JUICE WRLD!
999!
nickydeeLBC MOTHAFUCKA!
GRIMSIDE!
More hopeless. 
More romantic. 
More hopeless. 
More romantic. 
More hopeless. 
More romantic. 
More hopeless. 
More romantic. 
Torn and out of focus.
So tragic.
So manic.
I just want her to love me.
Just stop all the panic.
Give all of her of me.
I can't stand the sadness. 
Give you all my passion.
My loves everlasting.
I deserve to be happy. 
My world keeps on crashing.
My world keeps on crashing.
More hopeless. 
More romantic. 
More hopeless. 
More romantic. 
Can somebody stop me from falling?
I lost everything.
If you could only know what that means. 
I'll be lucky to get any sleep.
I cannot rest until she kisses me.
Manifest real healing.
GRIMSIDE.
nickydeeLBC.
Hard to reach.
Rare to see.
Had no choice but to find my peace.
Hard to breathe.
Kill the noise when I over think.
I make noise when I fuckin bleed.
Mind attacks CPTSD.
Complex post traumatic stress in me.
Don't ever invest if you plan to leave.
I pray to the Lord my soul to keep as I hold our rings.
Face the sword if you cross me.
Don't know what to do with all the love I bring.
Just a fucking broken human being.
I'm not where I want to be.
More hopeless.
More romantic when I speak.
I am more than what you see.
Wise from all this suffering.
Wise from all this suffering.
More hopeless. 
More romantic. 
More hopeless. 
More romantic. 
More hopeless. 
More romantic. 
More hopeless. 
More romantic. 









MORE HOPELESS. MORE ROMANTIC. (PROD.HARUHI X SPLASH) (PROD. GRIMSIDELBC

I only feel alive when I tear down my walls. 
nickydeeLBC mothafucka.
GRIMSIDE.
Weirdos stay talkin, they hate it because Im real though.
Nowadays walkin people stay with that metal.
You can hit if you really wanna get stoned.
I dont give a fuck, I wont bust with my eyes closed.
Bitch you better watch it Im duckin for the blast hoe.
Bitch you better stop it, no luck inside you, theres just a dark hole.
Sick, heart severed, haunted, Im not known to anyone, keep ya mouth closed.
Since 21, Ive died an came back alive slaughtered, fuck all the drugs, dabs saved my soul.
Im not the one, mad, left alone with all these struggles, sons and daughters burning slow.
I Pray for god to save us all.
Will he ever hear my calls.
I stay writing while Im dying, 
Yeah.
I only feel alive when I tear down my walls.
I only feel alive when I tear down my walls.
I only feel alive when I tear down my walls.
I only feel alive when I tear down my walls.
Dont be so suprised when Im sick and tired of yall.
Feed me all the lies even though its wrong.
Leave me just find Im the flyest of dogs.
Must be hard to show love actin like a wack job.
This is a living hell, I am not calm.
Just a damaged savage saggin, dabbin, smokin blunts and smokin raws.
Laughing at these bastards praying that I fall.
Onto the next chapter cuz you never called.
I only feel alive when I tear down my walls. 
I only feel alive when I tear down my walls. 
I only feel alive when I tear down my walls. 
Feel alive 
Feel alive
Feel alive
I only feel alive when I tear down my walls.





FEEL ALIVE (PROD. VERME)(PROD. GRIMSIDELBC)

Swear to God my heart straight gonna break.
Yeah
nickydeeLBC 
GRIMSIDE 
Yeah
Don't pretend to care if you really don't.
My thoughts are everywhere, I'm always down to smoke.
Some times I'm scared I stay up at home.
Never hated anything more than being alone. 
These friends are fake they turn into foes.
Never gave a fuck that I was stuck in my woes.
All I wanted was some love when I lose control.
Felt like no one gave a fuck that I was sad and stoned.
This is the longest road.
Never thought that I could feel such an ache.
There is pain in my feet up to my face. 
My home is gone, the ashes fall, the fire rains.
How can I explain this fucking ache.
Yeah
Two words. 
Sadness.
Rage.
Sitting on the curb, there's a current in my brain tryna find the words to explain how I'm insane.
This is that fucking hurt you cannot escape.
I don't wanna burn everyday.
When is it my turn to be more than okay.
Never thought that I could feel such an ache.
There is pain in my feet up to my face. 
My home is gone, the ashes fall, the fire rains.
Ay.
Ay.
Ay.
SWEAR TO GOD MY HEART STRAIGHT GONNA BREAK.
(How can I explain this fucking ache?
Ache.
Ache.
Ache.
Ache.
Ache.
Ache.
Will I see happiness before the grave?
Grave.
Grave.
Grave.
Ache.
Ache.
Ache.
Swear to God my heart straight gonna break.
How can I explain this fucking ache?
Will I see happiness before the grave?
Ache.
Break.
Grave.
Swear to God my heart straight going to break. 
How can I explain this fucking ache?
Will I see happiness before the grave?




ACHE (PROD. WHOAMI) (PROD.GRIMSIDELBC)

You mobbing like you from the dark side. 
Not from light.
Your story can hold dark times and still choose life.
Why am I GRIMSIDE and nickydeeLBC at the same time?
Too many people treat me unkind.
I still fight for what's right. 
I'm from the city by sea.
Thats Long Beach on the Eastside.
Everyday to get by I get so fucking high.
Lately I'm not fine. 
It's like I have 9 lives.
Always alone in the night time. 
Swear I died 9 times.
Some days I don't feel right. 
Stay stoned, see my red eyes.
Need love, I am not fine.
Stay up til the sunrise.
Out of my damn mind.
Not out of faith.
Yeah
I can tell you don't care that I'm not ok.
I been by myself all damn day.
Heartbreak only comes my way.
If you look deep in my face.
Ask me why I'm in so much pain?
There's war in my fucking brain..
I can't keep on living staring at the ceiling filled with all this rage.
These waves keep on crashing, filling my lungs with fucking hate.
I don't know how to forgive, I pray that God forgive my ways.
So when you don't give a shit I will show you flames. 
Been too long since I've lived, it's me versus me every fucking day. 
I need love cuz I'm sick from the loss of my people, I pray that God remove evil from coming my way.
Fuck all the evil coming my way. 
I can't trust these people too many are fucking lame. 
Fuck all the fucking lames. 
nickydeeLBC.
GRIMSIDE is my fucking name.
ONLY ONE IN MY FUCKING LANE.
I'M LOST AND I'M TIRED FROM GIVING MY LOVE AWAY. 
SO WHEN YOU STAY ON THIS RIDE I NOTICE IT RIGHT AWAY. 
WHEN I SPEAK BOUT MY LIFE GET YOU HIGH LIKE THE FUCKING DANK.
I DON'T GIVE UP, I FIGHT ALL THIS STRESS TILL DEATH, TILL MY BREATH FADES.
Lately I'm not fine. 
It's like have 9 lives.
Always alone in the night time. 
Swear I died 9 times.
Some days I don't feel right. 
Stay stoned, see my red eyes.
Need love..
Need love.
Need love.
I am not fine.
Stay up til the sunrise.
Out of my damn mind.
Out of my damn mind..
Out of my damn mind.
Yeah..
Out of my damn mind.
Out of my damn mind.
Out of my damn mind.
Not out of faith yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. 
Yeah.
Yeah. 
Yeah..
OUT OF MY..
OUT OF MY..
DAMN..
MIND..
yeah..



9 LIVES (PROD. YOUNGTIDY) (PROD. GRIMSIDELBC)

nickydee L-B-C 
GRIMSIDE 
Talking to your ghost in the morning. 
I feel so alone but your spirit is warming me. 
Looking at my phone see your face on my home screen.
Tears start to flow now I know you'll never hold me.
Held me down.
You were around constantly. 
Now you're know where to be found and I can't fucking breathe.
I can't, I can't breathe. 
Yeah
Without my love I feel so weak. 
Feel like I'll never be enough cuz I hold tragedies.
Tragedies.
Yeah
Will I ever see love surround me?
I don't want no fake fuck around me. 
Fuck drugs, don't give me a fake hug when you don't give a fuck how I'm drowning. 
Still proud to be me.
Trust no one, bitch I'll scream that loudly.
Just being numb, lost all sanity.
Life's no fun now it's hard to be me. 
I won't run, I just keep on suffering.
Yeah 
Yeah
I just keep on suffering.
Mourn my love.
I'm numb.
My mind is so fucked.
Long gone.
Why do I get no love when I'm really number one.
Really feel like you don't understand me.
Suffering.
Suffering.
Suffering.
Yeah.
All in my head, I'm on the edge and I'm suffering.
Suffering.
Suffering.
Suffering.
Suffering.
Yeah.
Talking to your ghost in the morning. 
I feel so alone but your spirit is warming me. 
Looking at my phone see your face on my home screen.
Tears start to flow now I know you'll never hold me.
Held me down.
You were around constantly. 
Now you're know where to be found and I can't fucking breathe.
Suffering. 
This is suffering. 
Again and again I keep suffering. 
I cannot pretend, I'm as sad as can be.
IM SAD AS CAN BE.
IM SAD AS CAN BE.
SUFFERING.

SUFFERING 2 (PROD. DEVILSHIP) (PROD.GRIMSIDELBC)

Make you fall straight to your knees like October leaves.
It's nickydeeLBC.
If you blind.
GRIMSIDE will make you see.
True honesty.
Loving you when you're loving me.
I don't know where to find that though so I keep on falling.
There's no one to catch me.
Every day it feels so damn cold even when the sun is shining.
All black clothes on my body.
Represents the pain that I hold and how it surrounds me.
Johnny Cash flow stuck in my woes cuz my baby rests in peace.
You don't want the smoke.
That's a hole in ya dome.
I've been dying all day.
I've been dying all year.
I've been dying all fucking week. 
Yeah.
Don't ever try to lie to me.
I have a fear that I'll never even find peace. 
Mentally diseased, my brain won't stop hurting me.
Funny guy.
I'm broken deep inside, you'd be surprised that sometimes I can hardly even speak. 
Rinse and repeat.
I just turn the music up and smoke some trees.
In the sky while I'm bumpin a beat.
Too confined, too high, can't wait to find the love I need.
Sometimes I fall like October leaves. 
Everyday really fucking feels like Halloween. 
I died when she left me. 
Never give up I try to be the best I can be. 
When shit gets rough I burn some trees.
If you feel like you're not enough because of tragedy you're just like me. 
Just know that your loved, you're not alone, I hope you make it to the end of the road that you're walking. 
Yeah.
Sometimes I fall like October leaves. 
Everyday really fucking feels like Halloween. 






OCTOBER LEAVES (PROD. 1314) (PROD. GRIMSIDELBC)


RIP MY WIFE 💍🕊️❤️‍🔥
MELISSA MAROBIA DU ROSS
🙏🏾✝️🦋🕊️🥀💔


Insta @grimsidelbc
34, names Nicky. Born in Hollywood. Raised in Long Beach on the Northside til I was 11 and headed out to the Eastside.
Met a dope girl with 3 kids in 2022 and I fell in love. She was tragically killed before we were supposed to get married July 1st 2024 on our two-year anniversary.
Life is now very different..💔
All vocals and lyrics by me.
Looking for dope beat artists all the time.
I have very good energy and material in my head.
What I have to say in my music is real and hands on to how I think and how I feel. 
I will be coming out with material as much as possible. Stay tuned. All love 

𝖓𝖎𝖈𝖐𝖞𝖉𝖊𝖊𝕷𝕭𝕮

Pinned to spotlight

Popular tracks