discord: https://discord.gg/hC6jnwu6ma


I haven't slept for two nights.
Insomnia is not new, but this time he has no voice.
Before I thought about tomorrow, in things that were never going to happen, I invented futures to calm myself down.
Now there isn't even that.
Just an empty hum, a phrase that repeats in my skull:
You're not going to sleep, you can't, you're not going to sleep.

I have become addicted to shortcuts.
Pills that put out fires, but also the light.
And now that I try to leave it I burn in the abstinence of rest.
I don't know if this is syndrome or punishment, but I feel so fucking awake which seems like a joke to me.

I put on white noise, I meditate, I count the cracks in the ceiling as if they were sins.
And nothing.
Not a yawn, not a slit.
The body wants to sleep but he doesn't know how to do it.

And then comes the dilemma:
Should I close my eyes and pretend?
Do I see another series that consumes my hours?
Do I give up?
Because I don't know whether to fight this anymore
It is an act of bravery or stupidity.

I'm so tired, but I don't believe it.
The body does not give up,
He doesn't even complain.
It's just there, dead in life, no signs.

And I get angry.
Because everyone tells me to do my part.
But if I can't even handle my body,
How am I going to move my soul?

And the clock ticks as if he enjoyed the show.
I look at him and say:
I don't want the night to come.
But also:
I hope I arrive and fall asleep without realizing it.

Although I know it's not.
Although it hurts me to know.
And yet, I'm still here.
Without knowing why.
Awake.

fatally wounded and left to die

I'm running on 3hr of sleep, caffeine, nicotine and pure self hate, I'm one fuck it away from early grave, but fuck it we ball

Join my discord - https://discord.gg/GcmehdZZVu



Yo, How ya doin ?

FL Studio // Ableton
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deep meditations. dark contemplations. soundscapes terraformed by lost dream states, etched by the darkest drones.

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fatally wounded and left to die

NØBODY