Making Hip Hop - Cyphers 2018

Entry for MakingHipHop's Cypher Vol 1 - Beat by LesMoss. Theme: Outsider

LYRICS:
I really really really wanna be a rapper but I’m posh, white, and not funny
I don’t come from the streets, I haven’t got money
I never made it with a lady or hot honey
Asking for advice they just say “You should stop, sonny”

What do they want from me? To get an desk job?
“I need these reports before three” OK yes Bob.
I’d waste my day typing rhymes onto my desk top
Saved with names like ‘Q2 Accounts’ so I don’t get caught

Seems like the kinda routine that I’d get stressed from
Pushing pens without the paper’s bound to make ma head throb
I’d rather get lost in a world of my own creation
and display what I’ve made cos I crave appreciation

I wanna expand my fanbase, and cast my net wider
Soon I’ll be taking off like I’m a jet fighter
Maybe Try Korean Speed Rap with MC Sniper
cos then I know I made it as a real Outsider

Pen Pusher (Cypher Vol. 1 - "Outsider")

Entry for MakingHipHop's Cypher Vol 2 - Beat by @https://soundcloud.com/djking_69/som. Theme: Pizza Delivery

LYRICS:
Hello? Yes sir, what will it be?
 Stuffed crust pizza with herbs and cheese? 
Certainly, that’ll be thirty three dollars
Delivery? Yup, that works for me.

OK see you soon, thanks. Wha- Our guarantee?
"Pizza delivered in 30 minutes or it’s free!"
We’ll bring your food piping hot to your table
The bill is prepaid but please tip if you’re able.

That’s great then. Have a good day, Sir. 
What? No, I can’t describe the flavour.
You want advice on the best way to savour
The remains? Are you insane? They don’t pay me
Enough to justify putting up with this dumb stuff.
If you decide that you don’t like what you’ve ordered then it’s tough luck.

Holy fuck dude! Why are you still complaining?
Then I check his ticket: “5 minutes remaining”  

“Thanks for the free pizza! hahahaha"

30 Minutes Or Free (Cypher Vol. 2 - "Pizza Delivery")

Entry for MakingHipHop's Cypher Vol 3 - Beat by @https://soundcloud.com/mcgingy – Som. Theme: Photo Album

LYRICS:
This first snap is me aged four
See we write our heights on the door
Straight backs, flat feet was essential
But still I’d reach up on my tiptoes when my mama grabbed the pencil

This is a pic of my first day at school.
Dressed to impress, thinking maybe I’m cool?
I remember I was having the worst days in third grade
Only work I liked involved language, spelling or wordplay

Here I am writing. No I mean “writing”!
When I’m penning tight rhymes, it was exciting 

Look it’s a picture of me in the booth
Aim to spit flames when I’m raising the roof
Making the music I wanted to make
And I’m spending my days with the craziest dudes. 
My favouritest too, amazing but true
“You work at a desk? I’d hate to be you!”
I tasted the fruit from the tree in the garden of eden
Believe me, I savoured the truth

Out of all these pics,  here's one that's my favourite
Selling out a show, yeah I reckon that I’ve made it
but then I’m getting stressed at the limits of my progress,
I’m hopeless, and slowly I see my dreams are fading

This picture is me in an office.
I manage profits and losses and… I've got to stop this

Garden of Eden (Cypher Vol. 3 - "Photo Album")

Additional bars that fitted the theme and beat quite well, but couldn't fit into @https://soundcloud.com/noodleraps/first-period-cypher-vol-4-science

LYRICS:
I make music, give the flu to a greek letter,
This iota ro cos he knew I could be better
When I rap about rap, I guess I go meta
They all scream my name like Noodle he’s so mega

I think it’s evident I’m arrogant
I’m the type of guy that likes the taste of his own medicine
Backing up my claims with experimental evidence
I’m like Einstein I’m back in my element

All these other rappers acting fake like Silicon
Can’t wait til they Argon, I’mma Barium
But I’m better than great I’m Beryllium
I’m the best rapper in this group. Period.

You’re gassed that I’m noble where my prize at, 
I’m going global, they call me Pfizer
Flow’s so cold it froze into a snowball
Growing in size, they say the limit’s where the sky’s at

Second Period (Cypher Vol. 4.5 - "Science")

Entry for MakingHipHop's Cypher Vol 8 - Beat by https://soundcloud.com/nathansswell. Theme: Everything

LYRICS:
I hate skinny jeans and man buns
and I hate people who say silly things like ’OMG’ and ‘random’

I hate slow internet, I hate noisy eaters
I hate discussing the position of the toilet seat and

I hate spoilers, I hate wasted plastic
I hate the fact I have to battle these wannabe rappers

I hate how much I love snacks
I hate people on crowded trains who insist on wearing bulky backpacks

I don’t not hate double negatives
I hate the fact that I can never decide what to watch on Netflix

I hate getting cold-called, 
No I hate getting cold, and I hate getting called

Rude drivers, tailgaters, queue jumpers, I hate them all and
people sitting next to me with other seats available

I hate people with iPhones
I hate people that hate people that hate people with iPhones

I hate the fact that I got so much to hate
but apart from that, I’m feeling pretty great!

Opinions Are Like Assholes (Cypher Vol. 8 - "Everything")

My mum used to tell me "you're NOT funny and you're NOT clever". This is me desperately trying to prove her wrong.