little nightmares wooo

prod by me haha
kehamon: https://on.soundcloud.com/zfSRe


lyrics me:
getting back at the bitches with that bounce 
what you sew gonna come around 
fuck all them haters all them clowns 
that doubted me ill make it out 

im spitting bars 
without regard for human life 
ill fuck you up and thats a certainty 
im staying on my grind 

dont think youll get away from me  
when i say i be 
on my grind i mean 
been  trying for real 

on a quick note tho,
just to remind you 
im the big bro 
Listen here dont think your shit is better than it is bro 


back in the crib 
back in my whip 
imma pull up making
some bags  making a hit 

i dont put up 
with this shit 
i just want  
to have 
recognition 

so listen im fed up with your bullshit 

youre shitty at your job you should quit making rap songs 
you rather stick to making wraps in a restaurant 

listen here bitch im the best in the west ya 
if you go against me you wont stand a chance ya

kehamon 

I don't even give a fuck About you stupid bitch
Why you textin I'm not even interested 
In some years my gang is gonna be rich
And you be watching yeah you just a stupid bitch 

Yeah You just a stupid bitch 
Don't talk to me I'm so arrogant 
I'm so arrogant And you are just so irrelevant 

Don't even talk to me bitch
Dont come up to me and don't even talk to me
Wake up to the fucking reality 
Shut Up we are never gonna stop flexing money
I am fresh to death you could never stop it 

We have guap bitch 
We have enough we make fucking profit 
You could never stop it
We make profit
Yeah bitch drop it

GRIND (feat. Kehamon)

I SUBMITTED THIS TO A STREAMER FOR 5€ AND ALL HE SAID WAS "NICE"

OVERLOAD pt 2

chaotic breakcore

instrumental: 
https://open.spotify.com/track/4yG4v9SUKC5xyH4c49GBo5?si=Cc-lgt3iQlieSUH3TQqWDQ


Yo 
I'm making it everyday 
Thousand and Sixty degrees in my hell 
But I'm getting out of my shell 
Drowning my shame ain't an option I'm plotting my wealth 

I'm loving myself and Im getting to tell 
My story ain't it corny as hell
But I don't think so cause what is corny about making yourself feel well 

I'm breaking generational pain 
Beating what my parents can't 
Im making my own way 
And it ain't corny to tell 
I'm up now I'm turning my back 

I ain't need anyone to tell me 
Frankly go fuck yourself 
Cause I'm my own human 
And you can never Take away 
Who I am I have my own story as well 

I don't have anyone to yell at me 
Never again 
History won't repeat itself 
Cause I have a say 
This shot will not happen again 

Breaking out of the circle 
Out of the shame 
I didnt deserve it 
But that is just my past 

I don't let that shit control me 
Cause I love myself 


Self love (instr. sideshow)

https://youtu.be/Im_-lEyId2E?si=ad-_k0FBKuxaF53j

Too tired to open my eyes 
Im afraid I'll lose my mind yeah 
Reality is breaking me down 
All the noises don't drown out the pain I have known 

For my whole life 
Im gonna make a statement 
That I'm alive will be an inspiration 
The problem is creating shit won't make me any better 
I am clueless I hope something changes for the better 

it's a hopeless endeavour 
I seek for what is tethered 
to my past I'm exhausted 
I don't wanna offend her 

but at last thats what keeps me from being human 
You can't just cut out the noise and keep moving 

I'm so fucking exhausted 
I barely hold my eyes open 
Im waiting on someone to come for me 
yeah I'm hoping 

I'm hoping someone relieves all this weight of mine 
If someone told that's my next five years I'll rather die 

Too tired to open my eyes 
Im afraid I'll lose my mind yeah 
Reality is breaking me down 
All the noises don't drown out the pain I have known 

Exhaustion exhaustion
I wanna be pausing but no way
I'm calling I'm bothering others no ones gonna talk to me 


Exhausted (prod. sapjer)

Minecraft nostalgia (prod. blustery)

https://youtu.be/jD9VPOcg6ns?si=hQgyaL_8y3-Y7aUV

Ya
Everything's on fire this shit too complex 
But can I have a lighter for my cigarette 
New issues I aquire from the bullets that I fire 
I'm bursting inside and it is all too much

Everything's on fire this shit too complex 
But can I have a lighter for my cigarette 
New issues I aquire from the bullets that I fire 
I'm bursting inside and it is all too much

Who tf are you to tell me what to do 
Dont you see that Im burning alive and can't move 
So true bro, "just move" it's the easiest thing ever 
If you were in my position you would kill yourself Id never 

Cause I'm different 
The only reason I survived is cause I am bigger than 
Anyone alive today 
I'm stronger I'm indifferent 
To death you would never cause you can't
That I'm still alive is a wonder in itself 

That I keep pushing is a fucking miracle 
But not for me 
I am used to breaking limits to the point beyond
belief 
I am painting the town red with the blood of my enemies 
It's a metaphor calm your shit down but better be 

Afraid cause I ain't letting it slide If you hurt me 
You will get your fair share of payback I will work it 
The days that I stayed curled up in my bed 
Gave me strength with nothing on earth to compare 

Everything's on fire this shit too complex 
But can I have a lighter for my cigarette 
New issues I aquire from the bullets that I fire 
I'm bursting inside and it is all too much

Everything's on fire this shit too complex 
But can I have a lighter for my cigarette 
New issues I aquire from the bullets that I fire 
I'm bursting inside and it is all too much

I'I'm burning I'm curling up working my past and what it changed I'll never be the same 
Fuck all of who still think I'm sane 
This will be over 
And I won't be tamed 

That's it you get it 
Now pack your things and get out 
I ain't begging I'm giving you a chance so just go fuck off 

I am dealing with some shit 
You will never relate to 
If you' do you're like a dog who deserves to be shot down 


Just that you know there won't be any blanks that I'm firing 
The shit that I lived through aint capable of comparing 
To anyone else 
I'm breaking my hell 
I will defeat the devil and why not God as well 

Cause who is really at fault here 
At times I thought It 
could be me and you said it should be 
But you're really just 


an ignorant piece of shit who didn't give a fuck 
You are like a cancer anything you ever touch rots 

Man shut the fuck up 
You don't deserve to be in my life 

I wish I would have never let you in but did I have a choice 
I was a child alone with your fucking mind 
I will try to warn you one last time 

This is your last chance 
Get the fuck out or it will rain fire 
My hand doesn't know any mercy 
In this hellfire 

I will be the last one standing 
I doubt that you will have any chance 











 

Everything on fire (prod. composition x)

https://youtu.be/Gwd6_6sr5kA?si=XG-XjCVIeW8z_pjQ

Yeah bitch I'm pissed
If there was somebody here I would throw hands 
Fuck all of you is my life model so go pray 

To your god 
Before that I'll knock your teeth out 
Know that you ain't from the same streets as me 
My cock is out 

While I start to talk 
About the stars and how I'm a god 
I wasn't born 
I fell out of the sky that's how I walk

Don't you dare to try anything on me 
I ain't strapped but my hands faster than your bullet be 

Im fucking pissed at life 
No one ever treats me how I like 
They should pray at me, fall onto their knees 
When I walk by 

Anyways it's not like I ain't a human 
But I'm just superior in every way it could be 

My game is better 
I think faster 
I'm a baller 
With these rhymes 

I ain't strapped 
But matter of fact 
Ima bag your hoe not even try 

That you even think to compare 
Me n u is a crime that I will retaliate 

Anyways let's get back me 
And how big my cock is 
Actually it's just below average 
Only when it's flacid 


I don't pass it around 
When the blunt stops at me 
Imma smoke that shit to ashes 
And that's just how it be 

Can everyone just shut the fuck up
And stop to tell me how to live my life 
Who the fuck are even you 
Stop to act like a child 


Many people in this world don't know they should mind their business 
Next time someone pisses me off they will get stitches 

Here's a pause so you can reflect on how much below me you are 


I cocked back and shot him twice just out of spite 
All the other rappers act like they white 
I'm passing the wine 
If they approached me they ain't right 

In the head but to keep it a bag 
Yeah I don't give a shit 
I'm a god dont you see how fucking lit this is

You don't get my attention if you ain't on your knees praying and begging 
I used to say this would happen 

Fuck all of you 
Fuck all of your social perceptions 
I am better than every single one of you peasants 

I see through all your bullshit 
I see all of you culprits 
then you act like you know better 
But you're just fucking stupid 

I ain't kidding when I say that I'm above everyone else 
Its just natural selection at this point 
If you don't fuck with me thats fine 
I don't fucking care 
Just don't tell anyone how youre aware 







IGNORANCE (prod. composition x)

instrumental from this song: 

https://on.soundcloud.com/JFb1o

Looking outside I see the flowers grow 
Away from everything but still on the road 
I'm getting back 
But still don't know 
Where is my destination but I go 

I'm seeing light I like to stay in my illusion 
It is so bright 
I try to paint it as the solution
I have control here 
I know that it isn't the truth 
But let me stay in my own mind it really has no use 

Remind myself of my reality 
And I run 
It's just so nice in here 
I know if I would leave I would be fucked 

A prison of gold 
Is what they like to call it 
The difference is I could leave whenever I wanted 

And I ponder and I wonder 
Who I am really 
Distractions and addictions only work so long is it 
Really worth to stay in my own mind 
But also is it worth to step outside 


A pack of wine has never failed to fix a problem has it 
Im ready to hide from everything that might be dangerous 
I hear the time is ticking and I'm anxious 
What do I really have to lose anymore 

Ya 
I'm almost twenty and I'm living in my own filth 
Im slowly coming clear to what I've lost I don't fit here 
Is what I think when I am around others 
I don't have any memories that are meaningful to me and I'm smothered 

Relationship is what I yearn for 
But I have no idea on how to build a meaningful connectioni am too hurt to 
Show up in a real way 
I don't get it when others talk about the most normal shit I feel burned out 

From just surviving 
I Got no seatbelt on when I'm driving
I'm trying so hard to just relate to others but I'm lying  yeah 
I'm stressing and I'm thinking 
Maybe it's too late for me to ever find a real connection 









delousion/reality (instr. diet tea other cola)

https://youtu.be/0W5kU87UJDw?si=THy67SC8Hx87yzS6

In the trenches I been stressing I been fighting I been dying 
To know when this shit is gonna end finally and 
I am dying to know if it's ever gonna get better 
Testing out the water to see how long I can last 

I don't even feel the pain anymore 
I am white knuckling this whore that you call life 
But do I even know if its worth i really don't think so 
This life is gonna kill me in the end though 

Looking over my shoulder 
Everywhere I go 
Im not safe anywhere I'm afraid 
Everyone will know 
How pathetic I really am at the core 
I try to not give a fuck but that doesn't work anymore 

I can't get up but I'm trying 
I'm fainting from the thought to not be lying 
To myself about my life and about the circumstances
I want to escape this reality I can pretend that 

That It is a nice place to exist 
I'm not a pacifist 
Cause war is all over ever known 
Violence is a gift 
Im not helping myself either 
My actions aren't fucking healthy 


Nose is bleeding again 
bedsheet are red 
My past doesn't want to stay in my past 
My backpack stays packed wherever I am 


Im slowly wasting 
Slowly tasting death as I care 

Everything hurts I can't step up here 
I'm saying I'm fighting but I'm laying here
Technically I'm beaten but I don't care 


I hate myself so much 
Sometimes I think that I'm not even real 
I'm saying I'm fighting but I'm laying here
Technically I'm beaten but I don't care

I wouldn't even tell my worst enemy 
What I tell myself 

I shouldn't even talk that's the extens of what I have to bear 







fighting (prod. composition x)

https://youtu.be/gTlEaXB5-pw?si=-RqA6E1SPN6t_FiF

I would move the world for you 
You don't even know that yet maybe you'll never do 
I would go to hell for you 
If you would end up there I would follow you

You are precious I hope you will never change 
Im willing to go all in 
if that means we have a chance 
Maybe you'll never hear this but I am 

Sure that I will fight for whatever we got 
I know that it isn't much 
I think were both kinda scared 
Maybe Im just tripping and you don't care 
But I surely do

And I want that we do stuff together 
I really enjoy those times 
I don't even care what we do 
You are lighting my day up everytime I realize that you really exist 


You don't need to do shit 
To make me your greatest supporter 
You dont need to do shit 
You're perfect the way you exist 

Damn 
This got me blushing and shit 
Here let me list off everything that I think is good about you 
This will go on forever I warned you 

I love that you care so much
And try so hard I really admire you 
I love that you work for what you want to have 
I love that you're so persistent 

And I'm not gonna lie 
You hypnotized me with your hips right away 
In the end Im a man what can I say 
You are beauty in the definition 

When I look in your eyes 
I see a fire that lights everytime you speak 
I see such beauty I can't speak I try to find words for it but its not like any of these 

I love that you exist 
There's so much more I could say 
But this world don't has the words for it 
What can I really say

HER (prod. sapjer)

https://youtu.be/cx598ZoVmO4?si=Ac8faVQHsjuWniJ8

Lately a writers block is whats happening
Feels like everything I try to say I can't articulate 
My mind feels clouded and Im missing the 
Meaning of what drove me to start this thing 

Im rewinding 
I'm feeling blinded I'm not grinding I
I Dont feel like Im really thriving 

Inspiration is a rare good around these times I'm 
Trying to stand above the shit 

I ain't about this shit anymore I'm tired 
Fighting but am I getting anywhere 

I blame my own thoughts and Im about to quit 
I say this shit for the last few years 

Anyways it's gonna go on 
I'm gonna have to throw on my best bit 
I'm gonna have to 

Gonna have to do something 
I ain't sure about what 
I just can't stay stagnant anymore 


Yea yea yea 
Pina colada 
In my glass I'm not bothered 
Ye yea 

Feeling ashamed for the most normal 
shit And I'm bothered 
Yea yea 

I'm surviving but not thriving 
Yeah, like in that book 
Cptsd that shit ain't even worth to discuss 

I'm gonna 
Gonna try to catch no weird looks 
While trying to catch up but I don't really give anymore fucks 

Heat rising to the top 
That's why I stay on fire 
Blood boiling in the night 
I am restless but tired 

I'm gonna catch a nosebleed again 
When I talk like this
Don't say shit you couldn't follow this through

Or could you 


Pina colada (demo)

https://youtu.be/JcIwY-_oSgE?si=g0mzSCnW8dUsp0yj

Running along my days 
Running out of faith 
Running my prayers 
Running without knowing what I'm running from 

Talking without sense 
Talking a whole lot 
Without really knowing 
What I wanna talk about 

I live an idle life 
A lonely one 
I cry my eyes out
Without having anyone 
I could lean on 

I really don't wanna bother others 
I feel like I'm way too much 
I want friends but I don't know how I can be one 

And I wanna be free 
But I don't know which way to go so I can be seen 

And I wanna be real 
But I don't know how I can show up and be me

I'm rushing between different stages of life 
I know it isn't a sprint but it sure feels like it 
I'm cussing my mind out for being such a dumb bitch 
Shut the fuck up I'm trying to think 

Outside I'm perfect 
Inside I'm terrible 
These are the only 3 minutes I can express myself 

I need direction
I don't know which way I'm heading 
I feel very powerless and really? I am 

I feel like every action I choose 
Impacts my life in a different way 
I want to pick the best option for myself 

The option that would make me be the most likeable 
The option that wouldnt upset anyone 

But It's a fluke and 
I know I just choose to ignore it 
The second option is as good as the first I don't
control it 

And I wanna be real 
But I don't know how I can show up and be me

And I wanna be free 
But I don't know which way to go so I can be seen 

And I wanna be real 
But I don't know how I can show up and be me



no direction!

2nd part could've been much better but it's a demo so I don't care 
https://youtu.be/x_mJ7hJoEvA?si=whZEnYDVFYrK6KXV

Fucking ashamed 
I am of you, never have you
Been anything good 
For me I hate you id be glad to 

To leave you behind forever 
I would be relieved if you just never came back

And I've been 
I've been fighting
I'm fighting you forever 

I've taken a stance it's against all you represent for 
And I dont take these things back 
I won't make that mistake again 
I don't think that we ever will be friends yo 

I'm tired of chasing 
A thing that I won't get 
I am tired of listening to the voice in my head 

Breaking my own neck so I won't have to live with you cause you do nothing but to hurt 

I feel like I am breaking 
I feel my heart aching 
I feel my body fighting me is this really the answer 

Banging out my eardrums so I can never hear you
again 
I'm afraid 
If I kill you 
That I kill myself 

What are you saying 
I am part you 
I will not go away 
All the words you hear me saying are just true and you're afraid 

I ain't the bad guy
Cause you just attack me 
without any 
Rational thought yea

I'm sick of you 
Every word you say is untrue 
Twisting my thoughts 
without a care 
If I should be lied to 

I'm disgusted 
I dont wanna hear you anymore 
If you would shut up forever I'd be glad to 

Think about this now I made you 
You don't and you're wrong 
You suck and you know 
I know and I don't give a fuck 

You don't deserve to live
I do I think I think I do 
But you don't know for sure cause I'm right 
No you are fucking not 

If I wasn't there 
Yeah what would fucking happen 
You don't wanna find out 
I do let's make it happen 
If I wasn't there you would have no one to keep you in reality I am what you need now 

Cut your fucking bullshit 
I am done with playing games 
In reality you are the one who's making me insane 
You sound like a bitch let's get back to how it always was 
I would rather die than give you space in my life 

Come on now 
you don't want 
this is bad 
Oh is it 
Yeah it is 
You will die
 
Oh will I 
I don't care 
Just think 
I know you are not stupid 
I know as well that's the reason that I fight you 

And will forever 
Cause I don't accept these lies in my head 
All you are is a parasite that needs to be cleansed 
If I die in the process it is worth it 
Cause this is no standard of living 


torn in between

very unhappy with this one

https://pin.it/6uP89WRAD

https://youtu.be/coIbsaK5blU?si=ioO-fHeF6HVXF4mT

Seeing the flowers grow
Seeming fragile breaking any second 
So pathetic 
so small making me anxious 

I see the sun rise again 
I feel it on my skin 
In light everything looks different 

In light beauty is to see easily 
In the dark not as much 
But you hold on 

Punches coming left and right 
Sometimes it breaks you down 
But a human always gets back up
Eventually 

Life is a gift 
Sometimes you have to tell yourself that
Even if you don't believe it 

I still don't believe it in my heart 
It's so hard for me 
I lived in the abyss of life 

And when it comes grasping out again 
Sometimes I don't have the strength to resist 
And comply 

To a low follows a high 
Sometimes at least 
But that's just how life comes to be 

Stop looking and start seeing that 
The truth doesn't have to be that harsh as it's always painted 

The canvas isn't just filled with one object its
Painfully obvious once you start to see it 

But everyone to their self I guess
You'll find your own way I bet 
You find something that works

It's naive to say the least 
To paint in one color 
But really who am I to judge 






life is a gift

Mh
And it hurts bad please 
Oh I cannot see 
I believe 
I don't know 
Why I shouldn't be 

dead I seem to think 
I don't have a say 
Whos to say 
Who defines who I am 

it's all about how am I perceived 
never about how I feel 
trauma teached me well 
and I had no idea

had no idea 

I repress myself 
that's why I don't feel real 
it's all for the others 
never about me 

I can never be enough 
to be worth looked at
I can never be enough to be loved 

And I need to be loved but I'm not 
and I need to focus on myself 

All I need 
is to be who I am 
Im starting 
to go insane 

All I need 
is to be who I am 
Im starting 
to go insane 


I'm insane and I'm fine with it 
pain by my side I don't mind 
I've been fine my whole life 
I have never quit 

I'm tired of all the grief 
I'm tired and I never feel relieved 

I feel stuck the whole fucking time 
I don't know what to do 

I don't know what to do 

Do I have any worth at all 
is it normal to not want to eat cause I don't deserve it 
I'm broken and I think it's terminal 
I like to think I am perfect 
but I know I'm not 

Lying to everyone cause I wanna be loved 
what do you expect I fucking suck 

i fucking suck and I don't deserve it 
i fucking suck even though I'm perfect 
why do I suck so much I fucking hate this shit 
I'm better than this 

I'm better than this and you are wrong 
I'm better than you and I move on
I'm better than this and you are wrong 
I'm better than you and I move on


pack your shit up this is it 
i am leaving you in this shit 
i will piss on what you think 
i deserve you are the bitch 

i am out and I don't give a fuck 
you suck I am better so shut up 
i will not be listening to what you yap


i will not be listening
i will not be shitting in 
your bathroom 
I would rather piss and shit 
in my own bed 
no I'm not listening

Im going insane

I don't eat 
Cause I don't feel I deserve to be nourished 
My body is yearning 
But what it isn't learning 

Is that you never get what want 
You get exactly as much as you deserve 

And I know I deserve next to nothing 
Without any rational thought I come to that 

If there was a trolley problem 
With one track free on the other me 
They should run me over 

And I don't give a fuck about nothing 
Unfortunate to be 
Born to bother any others 

I don't know why I am still alive 
And how I survived 
Will follow me until my unavoidable demise 

Born to fail 
born to not be able to succeed at all 
Born to take 
Born to take from others and burn it alive 

Catching people looking at my face we aren't equal
On the one side is a human 
Onto the other something evil 
I'm praying no one ever has to see me Cause I believe 
They then have the instinct to kill me 

That's why I've never go out to see 
That's why I can't put out the trash when people see 
Im really scared somehow I haven't died yet and I'm glad 

I'm sweating 
And I'm cold 
I try to sleep 
Cause I don't know 
What else to do 
I'm scrambling my thoughts 

I'm breaking 
and I know 
No one will ever help me 
When I'm breaking my own bones 


Born to fail 
born to not be able to succeed at all 
Born to take 
Born to take from others and burn it alive 

born to fail

I stole this beat and I don't really give a fuck 
Yeah I do not 
Imma strangle you if I don't like how you talk 
I won't do that 
Got the love of my life run away with someone else 
I hate people so much 
Im gonna go insane 

Everytime I'm in a room with another human I might cry 
I'm erratic I will kill you if I don't like how you stand 
And you sure talk alot 
For someone that hasn't been through enough 
Every time I cross a bridge I fight the instinct to jump down 


Yeah I don't sleep cause I'm afraid people will come and kill me 
I hate my life cause of the people who fucked me up like really? 
Child pornographers and cannibals that's who we share the world with 
And you expect me to like those people you should burn up 

Everytime I'm in a room with another human I might cry 
I'm erratic I will kill you if I don't like how you stand 
And you sure talk alot 
For someone that hasn't been through enough 
Every time I cross a bridge I fight the instinct to jump down 


I hate the humans so much 
They're all so fucked up 
I hate them all 
There is no reason for me not 



 


I hate the humans

https://www.bandlab.com/revisions/9c6573a3-ac9a-ee11-8926-000d3a41ef61?sharedKey=fvy0CP4PK0S-WP32Wy-7wA

Ya fuck you 
You don't have any decency 
Now you say you want me but my whole life you've been mean to me 
It's really easy to say that you should just go fuck yourself 
With a little bit of luck you find yourself 

Stating that you are in the past is an understatement 
Your picture faded you 
You ain't in my life 
You'll never make it 

Back cause you just really threw it away 
What others do in a year 
You just did it in a day 

And Im prouda that you didn't even recognize it 
Like why am I screaming at my child but sadly that's it 
You will never have a civil conversation with me again 
I will scream back this time and Im gonna win 

Fuck you and your whole family tree 
You're all fucked up and don't wanna see 
But I couldn't care less and I'm prouda that for real 
Fuck you and I will see you next year 


Ive been trying to talk (interlude)

Seeing the flowers grow
Seeming fragile breaking any second 
So pathetic 
so small making me anxious 

I see the sun rise again 
I feel it on my skin 
In light everything looks different 

In light beauty is to see easily 
In the dark not as much 
But you hold on 

Punches coming left and right 
Sometimes it breaks you down 
But a human always gets back up
Eventually 

Life is a gift 
Sometimes you have to tell yourself that
Even if you don't believe it 

I still don't believe it in my heart 
It's so hard for me 
I lived in the abyss of life 

And when it comes grasping out again 
Sometimes I don't have the strength to resist 
And comply 

To a low follows a high 
Sometimes at least 
But that's just how life comes to be 

Stop looking and start seeing that 
The truth doesn't have to be that harsh as it's always painted 

The canvas isn't just filled with one object its
Painfully obvious once you start to see it 

But everyone to their self I guess
You'll find your own way I bet 
You find something that works

It's naive to say the least 
To paint in one color 
But really who am I to judge 


Is life a gift?

https://youtu.be/YFHxhAIf4-A?si=067Ygfzu6Dy7IBcg

Yeah yeah
Competing over pieces We lost 
Repeating mistakes we made were fucked
It's so easy to do wrong in this world 
And it ain't easy to move on when you're hurt 


Hard to breathe 

When its hard to breathe please talk to me 
When its hard to breathe please follow me 
When its hard to breathe please remember that you are not alone and you don't have to be 

You don't have to be strong 
You don't have to be calm 
You don't have to be part 
Of something you don't want 

x2 

What if I tell you there is hope and it ain't far away 
What if I say to you that you deserve the love you yearn for 
Talk about it 
I will never ever leave you alone and you're worthy 

Of whatever you want I'm 
Destroying the monster 
You build for yourself 
I'm gonna protect you forever  

There ain't a discussion in myself about if you deserve it 
Cause that is a given 


to_my_inner_child

https://youtu.be/fv0Nu7Omrt4?si=0r3cnWWIveAfGlZn

Feels like I'm climbing 
But I don't think im going anywhere 
No one there to share 

My thoughts 
My worths 
My conclusion on this world 
I feel like I'm alone 
It's my darkest concern 

That no one ever will relate to me 
I'm too broken to care 
But inside I do 
It's human at the end 
Why don't I dare 

To take a step 
I am afraid to get hurt 
Can you blame me 
I've been through so much 
I can't turn 

I feel like 
I am screaming in the vast valleys 
Fear inside me 
Like im in a dark back alley past twenty 

And still no one answering 
I'm asking everyone 
But no one seems to care really 


What do I do 
When every step forward means two back 
When every move causes pain in my chest 
Antidepressants don't change the reality 
It's a known fact
I wish they did 


Blood rushing to my head 
Bad things happening to me 
I am imagining my worst fears 
And on top I feel alone 
Like theres no one who cares about my despair 

No clue who I really am 
Under all this mess 
And through that I keep myself stressed 

Over the fact that I'm not worth enough to be looked at 
Taking a blood bath 

When I can't move 
I wander with no goal 

What I don't do 
I blame myself for 
Not doing 

I think I'm rotten to the core 
Is there anyone 
Nah I don't think so 



I scream into the valley

Uhu 

Ayo ich kenne keine krisen 
Ich mache was ich liebe 
Geb keinen fuck 
Bro was geht ab ich hasse diese 

Pisser die so sagen das sie besser sind als ich
Kann doch gar nicht sein sagt mein Spiegelbild 
Und das ist echt huh 

Klarer Blick 
Locked in 
Wie ich walk 

Habe nicht nur einmal was gesagt was ich nicht wollt
Alright das war gelogen 
Aber ist ja auch egal 
Freestyle den Shit gerade 
Das war lüge nummer zwo 

Jaja das Himmelszelt 
Worunter ich am 
frohlocken bin 
Bricht in sich zusammen 
Jedes Mal wenn ich Zuhause bin 

Zumindest seh ich es nicht
Wenn ich drinne bin 
Ich habe das gedächtnis eines dreijährigen kinds 
Und

Ich hasse das es dunkel wird um fünf
Ich hasse knöpfe, Poloshirts und Korruption 
Sowie den fucking Wind 
Ich hasse reiche 
Hasse arme 
Hasse alles 
Hasse dich, mich, ihn, er, sie 
Waren das auch alle? Shit 

Egal ich mach mal weiter und Piss in den Wind 
Weil ich daran spaß in meinem Leben find 
Wer kann mich mich stoppen 
Und wenn du kleine bitch 
Es lustig findest das ich dieses Wort benutze 
Stehl ich dein erstes kind







Ay yo mind go splat whith that murder murder music 
Time to rewind back 
To When you weren't out here shooting 






Took an involuntary break from producing for 2 years cuz my laptop broke. First track i guess!!

Acappella:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Latw1lptRIo&list=PLR4BATHPtM5a_rPrtOCmqyKkZF5X4Do10&index=1

kinda hard

ca. 90% dieses Tapes ist in der Psychatrie entstanden. Made with bandlab. 

Beats: 
https://www.youtube.com/live/hAd3zRLn7-s?si=SR-Q-BMQ_BDoiYRy 
https://youtu.be/ByNPzrN0Gmw?si=N35c3V36-29itMRa
https://youtu.be/xMGe_tRRZsc?si=uKN-8ccRL48pZoB5
https://youtu.be/I-oPZOKuXhg?si=z42t1oYkhQwDEuEU

mentally ill mixtape vol.2

the beat is from this guy:
https://on.soundcloud.com/DjhE7ea7MohXJ7f36
cover:
https://pin.it/4yMR9PuwH

Chasing 
The thing I can't really control
Lacing my songs 
I swear I make it known
Damping All of the noise out and I know 
Its impossible
Been pondering so long I feel alone 
(Break, break)

Maybe it's the truth 
And I will never go
To the top 
Im in my lane and it is slowly breaking down 

Watchu know 
Bout this shit
Not about 
Calling it quits 
Breaking outa 
All this shit 
I'm breaking out 
That's what this is 
hhh (einatmer) 


Chasing 
The thing I can't really control
Lacing my songs 
I swear I make it known
Damping All of the noise out and I know 
Its impossible
Been pondering so long I feel alone 
(Break, break)

Break break my bones 
And Say I'm not alone 
Wait wait 
Before you call home 
I just don't want you to go 

Say say 
youre sorry and Im gonna break down 
I'm honest 
I feel shit  
And dont know what I can and cannot do about that 

Yeah stuck in the present 
There ain't no question 
In my mind 

I'm up pondering late at night 
What the fuck to do with life 
I'm never taking advice 
I am lost inside my mind 
And No matter how much I do 
It never will suffice 

Chasing 
The thing I can't really control
Lacing my songs 
I swear I make it known
Damping All of the noise out and I know 
Its impossible
Been pondering so long I feel alone 

chasing

cover: https://pin.it/2GS3gA6ZX
sample: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DEb3LfhPqbe/?igsh=Zzg5MGhhbmpjcXBz

the bar with the black magick isnt meant in any bad way!!



pain I'm holding in 
Hate im fostering within 
I got spirits in my closet 
So afraid to let them win 

Got no peers to talk to 
Bout the shit I'm hating who I've been 
Have no peace 
I'm fighting on the daily basis 
But I'm him 

Ion talk though 
I'm locked up
I'm keeping to myself 
I don't really care about that 
Its the cost of being safe 

What to when
everything you do 
Reflects on your life 
And you try
But nothing really works out 

But I'm Back at it 
Shoot up like a crack addict 
You say it's a chrome but I call it Using Black magic 
Try me out get packed, maggot 
Give a fuck 
Bout aesthetics
I am in my lane 
Don't you talk 
With yo lame asses 

Damn 
I don't follow the hype 
I mean that I don't get it 
When the people don't realize 
That even though past may survive 
That it doesn't define 
Every second of your life 



ROACH

cute

21 savache

second part goes hard

cutspace x neurofunk type shi
mix is ass but im lazy

cool

changed the beat in the second part
https://youtu.be/_kS9FXSXyfs?si=CSxqJCPLRHoco29v

Ain't no question 
That I'm pressing 
I'm just gonna ask around 

I'm not resting  
I'm depressed 
And I don't wanna talk it out 

Feeling pressure
In my chest 
And I don't really wanna know 

What will happen 
When the time comes 
To come outta my hole 

Shits impressing 
How I'm able to keep guessing 
What I want 

I am testing what's the lowest point 
Where I can feel at home 

Feelings passing 
Without really knowing what to think about 

Let it go 
The only way I know to go 
Is on my own 

And i

Wander through the streetlights 
Nah I haven't left my house but from inside it seems nice 
Never know how to tell what I want its embarrassing 
Get a grip like really dude 
I don't see whats so worrying 

Matter fact  
I'm gonna ask 
The fuck you think you're running at 

I'll help you it's a fucking wall
Don't you see what you're up against 

I stay ignorant 
I don't look 
problems go away 
If I just stay inside my hole, would 

You tell me what to think 
My thoughts are not distinct 
My problems don't exist 
And I'm lost inside this shit 

I thought I wanted this 
it's the opposite of bliss  

I'm opting to just quit 


3 Zigaretten nichts zu essen so start ich in meinen Tag 
Bin am pressen doch nicht auf der Bank damit mein ich mental zu
zwei Tabletten am Abend sonst Werd ich zu emotional 
Und habe Flecken in meinem Leben weil ich nicht saubermach 

Keine passion denn die Fehler sind zu groß für eine zahl
Bin am erbrechen 
Weil ich mein innenleben nicht ertrag 
Lieber verrecken 
Als das ich einmal den Preis für Taten Zahl 
Und die message ist egal ich gehe immer noch so hart

not resting

juicewrld remix

made a lil remix, carti sample is kinda ass but coudlnt find anything better 

samples

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DIzYhIyIPq_/?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

https://youtu.be/geqZRB2-XlI?si=il9D1rUCJCvnK-di

carti x acoustin2

got drunk and made this idk

original cover 
https://youtu.be/ccz-SKdoiXs?si=A3Fq_nwqsU-uS3GD

love sosa - remix

don't know what to do with it so imma post it here

breakcore type sh

alt account

everything I do here is to practice, experiment and to have fun ^^





NOODLETOASTER

Pinned to spotlight

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